by Beth Rinyu
“Then give me a pen.”
She reached into her purse and pulled one out. I wasted no time grabbing it from her hand and signing away.
“So…that’s that.” She forced a smile.
“So it is.” I chugged down the last of my beer and lifted up the empty bottle for the bartender to bring me another. “You want something to drink?” I asked.
“No,” she whispered with a quick shake of her head. “I’m really sorry for the way I behaved the last time I saw you. It was a really bad day. I had no right just showing up at your place and running my mouth like that. I’m trying really hard to be happy for you, Quinn. I know you deserve it after everything I’ve done. It’s just hard sometimes to think of you with someone else.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, I know exactly how that feels.”
“I know you do, and I can’t apologize to you enough for what I’ve done.”
“Then just stop. Okay?” I snapped.
She creased her forehead, taken off guard by my abruptness.
“I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of every fuckin’ body in my life lying and stabbing me in the back and thinking that an I’m sorry is going to make it all better, because it doesn’t.”
She nodded in agreement. “I know. I guess maybe it’s to alleviate one’s own guilt.”
“Well, if that’s what everyone needs to do to feel better about themselves, then keep on apologizing, but I won’t be listening,” I said, slamming down the shot of Jack in front of me.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re not referring to me anymore?”
I shook my head, not wanting to get into my problems. Even with a pretty good buzz going on, I knew that wouldn’t be a cool thing to do.
She sighed. “Well, I’m sorry for whatever is going on.”
She stared at me intently before closing her eyes and pulling her bottom lip in. “Do you love her, Quinn, or did you sleep with her just to spite me?”
I lifted my hand to stop her from talking. “Sara, I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“I just need to know.”
“Why?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.”
Even though I was pissed as hell at Lacey, and I wasn’t sure what was going to become of us, I still did love her very much. “I didn’t do this to get back at you. I needed someone and she was there.”
“You still didn’t answer my question. Do you love her?”
I rolled by eyes and threw back the rest of my beer just as the bartender brought me over another one. “Yeah, I do,” I finally admitted to her.
Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded.
“Why does it matter to you anyway?”
“Because I need to know you’re happy. I know it sounds crazy, but I do. I know I didn’t behave that way when I last saw you and her, and I’m sorry. It was just a shock. In the back of my mind I was hoping she was some hideous looking girl you were only using, and then when I saw her, I realized what everyone had told me about her was right. She’s beautiful, and I guess that made me kind of angry and even a little jealous. I know I have no right to be, but no matter what happens between you and me, I will always have a special place in my heart for you. We grew apart, Quinn. It happens to the best of couples, and then when we lost him...it was like there was no hope of ever putting those pieces together again.”
I stared straight ahead, taking in every word she said, and for the first time in a very long time, I was in total agreement with her. “Well, I’m glad we can finally agree on something.”
She smiled, letting out a slight laugh.
“Can I get you a drink?” I asked.
“No, really, I can’t.”
“Not even a glass of wine?”
“I’m pregnant, Quinn.”
My eyes bulged as I searched inside of me for some type of response. “Umm…I don’t know what to say. It’s what you always wanted.”
“Is it?” She looked at me with tear-filled eyes. “I suppose it is, but I wanted it with you.”
I looked down at the bar before locking eyes with her once again. “It wasn’t meant to be.”
She let a small smile slip onto her countenance. “Martin is so excited. He’s already looking at getting a bigger place. I want to be as excited as I was when I was having your baby, Quinn, but I can’t…I just can’t. What’s wrong with me?” She looked up at the ceiling, fighting back the tears.
“I don’t know, Sara, but you should be happy. You’ve been given another shot at being a mom and you’re going to be a great one.”
“I hope so.” She swallowed hard and met my eyes once again.
“So, are you going to be moving to the city permanently?” I asked.
“Yeah. It will be easier with both of us working there.”
I nodded.
“This is just so weird.”
“What?” I asked.
“Talking to you about this. Actually, talking to you about anything and not arguing.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s been a while.”
“Yeah. It has been. So, the new buyers want to be in the house in thirty days. I’m really gonna need you to get over there and start going through your stuff.”
“Okay.”
“I...umm…I think I’m going to have my mother come over to do Andrew’s room.”
“I can help you with that.”
“Really?” Her voice rose with excitement.
“Yeah,” I replied, slamming down another drink. “Just let me know when.”
“Well, how about now? I can drive you there, and we can get started, and hopefully you can sober up enough by the time we’re done, and I can take you back to get your truck.”
“Sara, I’m fine to drive.”
“Quinn, no, you are not.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine,” I relented, getting up and following her out, knowing this was going to be one of the hardest things I had to do, but I also knew it would help with the healing process and temporarily break me from my self-pity mode.
Chapter 36
Lacey
I arrived home after spending some time with Camille, making sure she was going to be okay. Disappointment washed over me when I didn’t see Quinn’s truck in the driveway. I was hoping by now he would have cooled down a little and we could talk things out. I sat in my Jeep replaying the events of just a few hours ago. I had been there for Camille. Now I had to be there for Quinn whether he wanted me to or not, and I was planning on doing just that. I was pretty certain of where I’d find him, so instead of getting out of my Jeep, I turned around in the driveway and was on my way to try and make things right.
***
When I pulled into the parking lot of Bobby’s Bar and saw Quinn’s truck, I knew my instincts were right. I hopped out of my Jeep and walked inside before I could give my nerves a chance to chicken out. I scanned the somewhat empty bar area to find two older men laughing and having a good time. Two women who were around my age and one lone man who looked to be a regular. “Shit,” I whispered, knowing that was Quinn’s truck out there. So where was he? I walked over to the bar, deciding to wait a few minutes in hopes he was in the men’s room.
“Hey, can I get you something?” the bartender asked as she approached me.
“Oh, umm…no, actually, have you seen Quinn Lavery?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, he was here, but he left with his wife a little while ago. I knew it was only a matter of time before the two of them got back together, but if you ask me, he’s pretty stupid after what she did to him.” She shrugged. “Oh well, guess it’s none of my business, but if you ask me, a bitch like her doesn’t deserve him.”
“Hey, Liza, can you get me another gin and tonic, please?” one of the male patrons shouted.
I stood there speechless as she turned around and went to work. My eyes began to burn. What I had feared from the start of this relationship finally happened. I knew I had no right to be mad. I al
ways knew it was a possibility, and I also always knew until his divorce was final, I was the other woman. A title I hated more than anything. How could I have been so stupid to think Quinn had actually fallen in love with me? All I was to him was a temporary distraction. This was just another reminder I needed to depend on myself and no one else. I needed to move on and use these past few months as a learning experience to never open up my heart so easily again.
I hung my head low and walked back out into the dark parking lot, feeling lower than low. I lifted my head when I bumped right into someone in the parking lot.
“Oh, sorry. Are you okay?” the man asked, placing his hand on my shoulder. A chill shot through my body, and I quickly backed away when all of the paranoia I had been working so hard to chase away began to flood through my body.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled as I continued to walk faster, digging through my purse for my can of mace. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my hands were shaking uncontrollably when I finally made it into my Jeep. Stop it, Lacey! Just stop it! You didn’t come this far just to slip back to where you were before. I took a deep breath, trying to shake the uneasy feeling that had just overcome me and trying to get the thoughts of Quinn and what he was probably doing right now out of my mind. Just this morning we had made love and now he was probably doing the same thing once again, but this time with his wife.
***
I woke up long before my alarm went off. I had too much on my mind to sleep. I tried to stop myself from rushing to the window to see if Quinn’s truck was in the driveway, but I couldn’t help myself. My heart sank when I saw the empty spot in the driveway, and I was immediately filled with hurt and anger. I wasn’t sure if I was angry with Quinn or at myself for allowing this to happen. It was definitely over, and even though it hurt like hell, I knew I should be thankful to Quinn for helping me to break out of my shell. I knew going into this that he didn’t belong to me.
After letting Gus out, I took a long hot shower to clear my head, finding it helped very little in doing the trick. I quickly dressed and threw my hair up in a ponytail. My appearance was the last thing on my mind today. Taking one more sip of coffee, I threw the rest down the drain and decided to head into work early.
“Oh, Lacey, I’m glad you’re here early. Can I see you for a moment?” Janet, the school principal, said, getting me just as I walked through the door.
“Oh, yeah, sure,” I responded as I followed her into her office.
She took a seat at her little conference table and gestured me to have a seat as well. Something told me this was going to go just as well as the last twenty-four hours had. “Lacey, the teacher you’re filling in maternity leave for sent me an email over the weekend. She plans on coming back in three weeks.”
I felt a deep blow to my heart. Turns out everything in life was temporary. Again, this was something I knew going into this job, so I didn’t know why I was so shocked over it.
“But I do have some good news. Carol O’Grady is retiring in June, which means her position will be up for grabs. I like you a lot, Lacey. The kids adore you, and the parents have nothing but nice things to say about you, so I would have no problem at all recommending you to the board for the position, if it’s something you would want. I’m so sorry, Lacey. I anticipated her being out for the entire year, but her husband just lost his job, and she needs to get back to work. This is going to be a big adjustment for the kids too. I know how much they love you.”
“It will be fine. They’re resilient. This is her class, after all. I was just a fill-in.” A fill-in just like I was for Quinn until he was ready to go back to his wife.
“Well, if you’re interested in Carol’s position, get me your updated résumé as soon as possible, and we can have you back here in September, but this time on a permanent basis. I really don’t want to lose you as a teacher.”
“Okay. I’ll think about that.” I stood up and pushed my chair in.
“Again, I’m really sorry, Lacey.”
“No, really it’s fine.” I forced a smile.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I walked out of her office. Today was proving to be a horrible day already and it wasn’t even eight a.m. yet. I wasn’t going to let this get me down. I had to believe this was happening for a reason. Maybe this wasn’t where I was meant to be. Maybe there was something else out there waiting for me. I took a seat at my desk, trying to pretend this was like any other day. “What now?” I whispered when I heard my phone ringing from somewhere inside my purse. I finally pulled it out and saw it was Adam. Without even thinking, I answered it.
“Lacey?” He sounded surprised I had answered.
“What’s up, Adam?” I was short and to the point.
“I didn’t know if you heard or not. Aaron’s dad passed away over the weekend.”
My heart sank. “Oh no. What happened?”
“He had a heart attack.”
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse. It did.
“Do you know when the funeral is going to be?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s going to be on Thursday. I talked to his sister yesterday. She asked me to call you and let you know.”
“Well, thanks for letting me know.”
“Not a problem. Maybe I’ll see you soon.”
“Umm...yeah. I guess so.” I lifted my head to find Neil standing in my classroom doorway. “I really have to get going, Adam...thanks again and I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hung up the phone and smiled.
“Good morning.” He smiled back.
“If you say so.”
He looked down at his watch. “It’s only seven fifty. What could possibly be that bad already?”
I figured I would spare him the details of my love life. “Well, I just found out the teacher I’m filling in for is coming back in three weeks from maternity leave instead of September like she had originally planned, and to make matters worse, my father-in-law passed away over the weekend. So, now I have to take some time off, make an impromptu trip back home, and find someone to watch my dog.”
I threw my head back on the chair and let out an exhausted breath.
“Well, I can help you out with the last part. I love dogs. I lost my shepherd a few months ago and miss having one around.”
“Oh, Neil, that’s so sweet, but don’t you think you should check with your girlfriend first?”
“Are you kidding me? She’s the one who’s been on my case to get a new dog ever since we had to put Max down. I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well, that’s understandable. Gus is like my child. I don’t even want to think about the day I have to do that.”
“Yeah, it’s not easy. I promise I will take good care of him while you’re gone.”
Since I knew asking Quinn wasn’t an option anymore, and I really didn’t want to kennel him, Neil just might be a good alternative. “Well, how about you check with your girlfriend first and if she’s okay with it, then I would be forever grateful.”
“I know it won’t be a problem, but to put your mind at ease, I’ll ask her.”
“Thanks!” I breathed a sigh of relief, crossing off one thing from my list.
The day went by unusually quick, which was a good thing after the morning I had. I went down to the office and asked for three days of personal time so I could head up to Massachusetts on Wednesday. I booked my hotel room from my phone and got a text from Neil letting me know his girlfriend was okay with letting Gus stay with them. Everything was falling into place. Everything…that was until I pulled into the driveway and saw Quinn’s truck. I knew once I got back that would be the next thing on my agenda if I planned on staying in this town—finding a new place to live. It hurt to even think about that, but I knew I couldn’t continue to live there any longer, given the circumstances. That was confirmed when I logged on to my bank account to find that Quinn hadn’t cashed any of my rent checks for the past three months. There was no way in hell I was going to allow th
at to happen. I would make a point of stopping at the bank in the morning and withdrawing all of that money. If he wouldn’t cash the checks, then I would give him the cash. Even though I would feel forever indebted to him for helping me to become a much stronger person, I didn’t want to feel indebted to him for anything financially.
Chapter 37
Quinn
Three days later, and I still wasn’t finding any forgiveness for my mother for keeping what she had from me. I was, however, feeling a little guilty about how hard I had been on Lacey. She was put in a bad situation, and I was slowly starting to realize why she kept silent. If anything, my mother should have been the one to take the pressure off Lacey by coming forward and being honest with me.
I was coming down the stairs to head to work when I literally walked right into Lacey, who was carrying an overnight bag over her shoulder. I hadn’t seen her since I had left my mother’s house the other day, and I knew she was probably making it a point to avoid me these past few days. I stopped dead in my tracks, allowing her to walk ahead of me. She kept her head down and didn’t say a word as she opened the back of her Jeep and threw her bag inside. I couldn’t do this with her. I couldn’t act like we were complete strangers. I cared for her way too much for it to come down to this.
“Where are you headed?” I finally broke the silence as I stood in front of her driver’s side door.
“I don’t think that’s any of your concern anymore,” she mumbled without even looking at me.
I moved closer, and I could sense her unease. “Lacey, I’m sorry about the other day. I know I shouldn’t have taken my frustration over the whole thing out on you.”
“It’s fine, Quinn. I deserved it. I lied to you. Now, can...can I please get into my Jeep so I can go?”
I shook my head and grabbed her hand. She yanked it from my grip, taking me a little off guard. “Then why this, Lacey? If you accept my apology, why are you so pissed off?”
“Quinn, please…I really need to go.”
“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on.”