Where My Heart Breaks

by Ivy Sinclair

  “Patrice is sick,” I said. “She’s running a pretty high fever and has been coughing a lot. I think she needs to see a doctor.”

  “There’s an emergency room in Cheshire,” Reed said.

  “I won’t be able to drag her out of her room to take her there,” I said. I could see that scene playing out in my mind and I shuddered. It wasn’t pretty. “She keeps insisting she’s fine.”

  “Give me ten minutes,” Reed said. “If you can’t convince her to go, I’ll throw her over my shoulder, and she won’t have a choice.”

  That scene was even scarier than the first one. But I knew that he was right. Patrice needed to see a doctor, and if she wouldn’t agree to go under her own volition, I’d have to force her hand.

  “I’ll see you in ten,” I agreed.

  Then I hurried downstairs. I caught Sam’s eye as he finished taking the order of a couple that just arrived that morning and cocked my head toward the kitchen. I found Millie pouring glasses of water and putting them on a service cart. Even though I was certain she had no idea what she was doing, she looked calm and collected.

  I pulled her by her arm over to the side of the room out of Mrs. Edelbrook’s hearing, and Sam joined us a moment later.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “I need to take Patrice to the emergency room in Cheshire,” I said, deciding it was best not to beat around the bush.

  “Do you need me to drive?” Millie asked.

  “No, Reed’s coming out to take us,” I said.

  I ignored the look of outrage on Sam’s face and the slow smile that spread across Millie’s. “I need both of you to work together to keep everything on track here. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Sam said. “Patrice has this place set-up to run like a well-oiled machine. We’ll be fine.”

  “Sam’s right,” Millie said. “I’ll watch the front and do whatever he tells me to do back here.” She winked at him, and Sam looked uncomfortable.

  “Thanks. I’ll call you with any news,” I said. I was aware of the minutes ticking by. “Thanks, guys.”

  Sam put a hand on my shoulder as Millie turned away. “I’m sure she’ll be okay.”

  I hadn’t realized until he said that how scared I was for my strong willed aunt who never showed the slightest sign of weakness. I was petrified. But she needed me to be the strong one now. I couldn’t break down into a puddle of indecisive goo.

  I gave him a short nod. To Mrs. Edelbrook, I gave a benign wave and thumbs up sign as I passed her on the way to the back door. She looked at me suspiciously but then Sam caught her attention asking for two more of the night’s specials. I scampered out the screen door and made my way to the driveway. Two minutes later, Reed’s truck appeared in my view. He parked off to the side and then got out.

  The first thing he did was gave me a kiss that took my breath away. Then he said, “We can take your car.”

  My thoughts fuzzy from his kiss, I nodded. I led him around the front and up to Patrice’s room. She hadn’t moved since I left her. I knelt down beside the bed. “Patrice, we’re going to take you to the doctor, okay?”

  I saw her lips move, but I couldn’t make out what she said. I looked up at Reed and wasn’t comforted by his expression of alarm. He gently pushed me to the side and then bent down to lift Patrice into his arms. Patrice barely even moved.

  I followed Reed down the stairs and around the side of the house and had the foresight to point him around the opposite side of the house, which didn’t face the dining room. Most of the week’s guests were occupied with dinner, and we could hopefully make our escape without any prying eyes seeing us go.

  I opened the door to the back seat of my car, and Reed leaned over and set Patrice inside. She seemed small and lifeless against the tan interior. One eye opened, and I could see that she was trying to gather her wits about her.

  “I don’t need to go the hospital.” Her hoarse voice and wheezing gasps for air betrayed her.

  “Hush, Patrice,” I said. “You’re going and that’s that.” It’s something my mother would say, but I added a layer of warmth to it that was far beyond my mother’s ability to be comforting.

  Patrice closed her eyes then, and I thought for sure that she had fallen asleep. Then I heard a whispered “stubborn” float to my ear, and I shook my head ruefully. As if Patrice had any room to talk.

  I barely registered the drive to Cheshire. I kept twisting around in my seat to check on Patrice, who didn’t move the entire time. What kept me anchored and calm was Reed’s hand on mine. Occasionally, he would reach over to stroke my cheek or my hair, but otherwise he kept his fingers interlaced with mine on the console between us. I had never had a man be so attentive and utterly present for me the way that he had been that afternoon.

  I knew then that my heart was reserved for him if he ever wanted to claim it.

  When we pulled up outside the Cheshire hospital emergency room, the skepticism must have been evident on my face.

  “I was born here as were most of the people in Bleckerville,” Reed said with an amused grin. “It may be a small compared to what you are used to, but there are good doctors here.”

  I got out and saw an orderly already on his way out with a wheelchair. I hoped that Reed was right. I opened the back door and was surprised to see an unsteady foot move to the ground. I could see the effort required for Patrice to lean over and grasp the door handle. I moved to help her, but she waved me off. The orderly, however, wasn’t so easily dismissed.

  He put his hands under her arms and maneuvered her into the wheelchair. I looked through the passenger door window at Reed. He had his arm flung over the back of the seat watching the scene unfold in front of him. The window came down a few inches.

  “Go on,” he said. “I’ll park the car and then find the waiting room.”

  Nodding gratefully, I caught up with the orderly. I could hear Patrice’s raspy voice trying to bark orders. We approached the nurse’s station, and I quickly ran over Patrice’s symptoms with the nurse behind the desk. She handed me a stack of forms and then we were escorted to a small bed on the other side of the room behind a white fabric divider.

  I dropped into the chair and started to make my way through the first form. After Patrice seemed to figure out that she was stuck whether she liked it or not, she finally piped down. Grudgingly she answered the questions I didn’t know on the forms. It was strange. Over the next fifteen minutes, I found out more about Patrice’s health than I knew about my own parents.

  The doctor finally arrived, and it became obvious that he was going to do a more rigorous physical exam that included removing some of Patrice’s clothes, I offered to step to the other side of the curtain. I handed him the forms and then made my escape. I wasn’t interested in seeing any more of her than I had already seen, and I could tell that Patrice was equally relieved.

  I saw Reed parked on a small bench just inside the emergency room doors. He offered me a small wave, and I made my way to him. Even under the harsh fluorescent lights, he was the handsomest man I had ever seen.

  “How is she?” he asked.

  “Definitely more lucid,” I said. “That was scary earlier.”

  “I’ve had a few scares these last few years with my mom,” Reed said. “Considering the patient, I think you’re doing great.”

  I wanted to hug him, but then I heard the doctor call my name. Reed sat back and gestured for me to go. The doctor motioned for me to join him on the other side of the divider.

  He looked at Patrice first, who was definitely more alert than she had been earlier. “Ms. Collins, I’d like to keep you overnight for observation.” Patrice began to squawk, but the doctor shook his head. “No arguments on that.”

  Then he looked at me. “Your aunt appears severely dehydrated and is running a fever. I would like to rule out pneumonia or anything else more serious. I think it’s a case of stress and exhaustion, but I’ll know more in the m
orning.”

  I patted Patrice’s arm. “Don’t worry about a thing, Patrice. I’ve got everything covered at the Willoughby. You just focus on getting some rest.” I said the words with more confidence than I felt. There weren’t any other options. I saw that realization in Patrice’s eyes as well.

  “You have to call in the weekend catering first thing,” she said. “And don’t let Mandy cut any corners on the weekly linens. That girl needs a firm hand otherwise she’ll do shoddy work.”

  “I know, Patrice. I got it,” I said. “I guess I’ll check back in the morning then.”

  Patrice looked so unhappy that I couldn’t resist leaning down and giving her a small hug, which surprised both of us. Then I left before she could see my confidence falter.

  Reed stood up as I approached. “What’s the verdict?”

  “They are keeping her overnight,” I said. “We’ll know more in the morning.”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing serious,” Reed said. “Patrice is tough. Nothing will keep her down for long.” He put his arm around me, and we walked out to the parking lot.

  As he drove me home, I stared out the window and wondered how long I would have the responsibility for the Willoughby on my shoulders. Even if they did release Patrice the next day, I guessed that she would have to rest for a few days. There was another dinner event on Saturday, and this one was on the lawn. It required a tent rental and everything. I started to gnaw on my lower lip as all of things that could go wrong started to stream through my mind.

  “You look like you just found out somebody died,” Reed said.

  “If I let everything at the Willoughby go to hell, Patrice will kill me,” I said with a heavy sigh.

  Reed reached over and took my hand, which drew my eyes to him. “I’m glad you called me today.”

  “Me too,” I said simply. “About us, or whatever is going on between us…”

  Reed shushed me and then pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “That’s not important right now. What is important is that your aunt gets better and that you focus on running the Willoughby exactly the way that she showed you to run it. I’m not going anywhere.”

  It made me melt the way that he understood so perfectly what I needed. What he missed though was that to make that happen, I needed him too. “Patrice wanted those shutters on the third floor fixed this week.”

  “Consider it done,” he said solemnly.

  We laughed quietly. Everything felt as if it would be all right. With Reed by my side, I thought that the impossible was definitely possible.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  It wouldn’t have worked if Millie hadn’t been here. As I surveyed the debris on the lawn of the Willoughby in the early Sunday morning light, I felt more exhausted than I had ever felt in my life. Millie, on the other hand, was positively perky.

  She had a clipboard in hand and directed the efforts of the gardening staff as they began the transformation of the outside corporate event venue back into the quaint, expansive back lawn of the Willoughby. It didn’t take me long to realize that event planning was in Millie’s blood. Of course, it would be given her upbringing in Manhattan’s society circles.

  Patrice was in the hospital for two days. I was pretty sure they were as ready to see her backside as she was ready to get out of there. Extreme dehydration and exhaustion was the official cause of her illness. Under doctor’s orders, she wasn’t supposed to go back to full-time work for at least two weeks. Since she lived at the Willoughby though, that meant that almost immediately from the time I brought her home she was regularly under my feet.

  Sam stepped up and helped me with all the nuances of the kitchen and catering staff that I hadn’t had a chance to learn in my brief tenure at the Willoughby. Much to his chagrin, as soon as I realized how much knowledge he had in his head, I promptly turned the management of the dining room and kitchen over to him. I think the only reason I didn’t have a full out revolt by the staff was that everyone, including Sam, knew that the move was only temporary.

  I left the event planning in Millie’s capable hands. Every morning I met with Sam and Millie to go over the day’s itinerary of activities just like Patrice had done with me, and then we went about our days dividing and conquering. I quickly discovered why Patrice seemed to be constantly on the go. There was always something somewhere that needed to be done or required my attention. I buzzed all over the Willoughby grounds inspecting the gardens, checking in the maintenance staff, keeping up with housekeeping, and most importantly, making sure the guests felt loved and cared for during their stay.

  That was the part of the job that I found that I liked the best. It took just a little extra time spent with every guest, but I found out all sorts of things about them. And because the guests were almost exclusively honeymooners, I got to watch the sidelong glances and shared secret smiles of people who were obviously deeply in love. It made me happy to hear about how they met, all the details of their weddings, and what they planned for their futures. It made me realize that maybe a wedding in my own future wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  Then there was Reed. I wasn’t sure what to call our relationship yet because he continued to refuse to let me talk about it. Yet he showed up every evening after the dinner service and invited me to sit outside with him on the patio to enjoy the warm summer evenings. Sometimes he brought a piece of Good Day apple pie with him, and that’s how I knew he thought there was something more ahead for us as well.

  When Millie wasn’t working on details for the next Willoughby event, I had her on Patrice duty. Millie didn’t care when Patrice snarled at her or tried to get a rise out of her. Millie had the patience of a saint it seemed, so I gratefully let her push and gently chide Patrice into sitting outside or down by the lake instead of bothering me.

  As Sam predicted, Patrice’s well-oiled machine churned on and I started to feel a bit more settled into my life there. Patrice had been home for a week when Millie came into the foyer and found me there going over the day’s receipts. Summer school had started at the Cheshire community college, so it was one of Reed’s teaching nights. I wasn’t sure if he would to be able to stop by the Willoughby on his way home or not. I hoped so. Seeing him was the best part of my day.

  “Patrice requests your presence down by the lake,” Millie said. Her jaw cracked in a wide yawn.

  “In a minute,” I said, not taking my eyes off the calculator.

  “She’s more owly than usual tonight,” Millie advised. “You might want to hustle.”

  I sighed and leaned back in my chair and stretched. Then I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t know how she does this all the time. I feel like a zombie.”

  “As long as you don’t try eating my brains in the middle of the night, we’ll be fine,” Millie joked.

  I stood, and we swatted hands as I passed her. I stepped out onto the patio and took a deep breath. The country air was so different than in the city. In such a short time, the Willoughby had more than grown on me. I was starting to think of it as home.

  I made my way down the path and saw Patrice sitting on the bench that I sat on my first night at the Willoughby. It seemed like forever ago. The summer was almost half over now. I still had a lot of things to think about and decide before it came to an end.

  Patrice saw me coming and waved for me to sit down next to her. I expected her to start drilling me about the upcoming event on Saturday night, or if everything was going as expected with the guests, but she surprised me by saying nothing for a few minutes. I waited for her to start.

  “I spoke to your mother this afternoon,” she said, not looking in my direction.

  I hadn’t spoken to my mother since my phone call where I told her that I wasn’t going to stop seeing Reed. I figured that I likely wouldn’t speak to her again until I went home to claim the rest of my belongings and clean out my room. I didn’t need a crystal ball to tell me that by defying my mother as I had, I wasn’t going to be welcome in her house anymore. That was all right with
me.

  I’d forgotten though that I didn’t tell Patrice. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. “I was going to tell you about that, but then you got sick.”

  “Your mother believes that I should boot you out on your ass and let you figure out how to fend for yourself.”

  I felt a wave of anger. That sounded just like something my mother would say, aside from the cursing, but after everything I had done to keep the Willoughby running smoothly during Patrice’s recovery, it felt like a stab in the back.

  “Should I start packing my things then?” I said, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

  Patrice turned to me then. “I never wanted kids. John and I were perfectly suited that way. We had our careers, and we got to travel the world and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I felt sorry for those people who were tied down with crawling, whining, nagging little people.”

  I wasn’t sure where Patrice was going with her train of thought. I was too busy trying not to lose my cool and stomp away. I didn’t know where I was going to go.

  “My point is that after this past week, I kind of get it,” Patrice said. Her face softened. “You’ve done a good job here, Kate. You’ve managed to handle the Willoughby and a tired, cranky old woman to boot. I’ve talked to every single guest, and they all can’t stop talking about how fantastic you’ve been to them and how impressed they are with your ability to cater to their every whim despite your obvious youthful age. I’ve talked to some of the staff too. They might not have liked me bringing you in at first, but they respect you. They see how hard you’re working. Those are all good things.”

  My mouth fell open. I blinked hard.

  “On top of that, I’ve watched Reed Black come and go every day this week doing everything in his power to make you smile and make sure that you are happy despite the madness around you. I’ve never seen him act like that for a woman before, and I’ve lived in Bleckerville for eight years.”

  Of everything she had said so far, those words affected me the most. Somebody else saw a glimmer of what I saw in Reed.