One Wrong Choice (A Cruel and Beautiful Book Book 3)

by A. M. Hargrove

  “What?”

  Slowly, I open my lids and see the concerned expression on her face. Gently, I lift her off of me, glad my sofa is made of leather. I get to my feet and tuck myself away before going into the kitchen to get a towel to help clean her up.

  “What did you mean?” she asks tentatively when I’m done.

  “The truth is, I’m happy you didn’t marry Kenneth. You deserve more.”

  A smile touches her eyes, and I see the false hope I’ve created.

  “And I want you. You know that, right?”

  The end of her sentence sounds unsure. She must see the resolve on my face. Pressing my lips together a second, I pray I can do this.

  “We both know your family will never accept me.”

  “But you—”

  “Let me finish,” I cut in.

  She closes her mouth.

  “Even if…” A little stronger, I echo, “Even if.” Pausing, I take the second I need to force out the words. “Kym needs me. If my brother is lost to us, I have to be there for her.”

  Jenna’s pretty face screws up in confusion. “What are you saying? You’ll be with her, with her?”

  I nod. “I wasn’t kidding when I said it should have been me. How can I possibly move on with my life and leave my brother’s fiancée to fend for herself?”

  Her features soften as if she’s solved the puzzle this situation has created.

  “Of course, you would want to take care of her. Who wouldn’t want you to? For a second it sounded like you’d marry her or something.” She laughs a little at the end.

  I can’t laugh. Humor is a foreign concept in this moment.

  “If that’s what’s best, I will,” I say with conviction. Though I don’t think it will come to that. “You, more than anybody else I know, understand sacrifices you make for your family.”

  She smooths her skirt down her thighs with firm hands. “But you don’t love her.”

  As if that matters.

  “You didn’t love Kenneth.”

  And it isn’t about love, I want to say. Kym needs me. I can’t possibly be happy while she’s lost my brother. She’s still having trouble with the pregnancy. I need to be there for her without any distractions outside of work, which I need in order to provide for her. Once the baby is born and she’s ready to move on again, I can think about myself. Until then, I have to be there for her however she needs me to. It’s what Braedon would want, though I tell Jenna none of that. It’s better to let her go.

  Her voice rises. “But I’m not marrying him.”

  The old hurt from those words she’d spoken to me months ago bursts to the surface. My sharp tone is laced with pain from knowing my brother is dead but not wanting to say it.

  “You almost did. And if I hadn’t shown up, would you have?”

  “No,” she blurts. “Before you came I was talking to my father about that very thing. If you’d only let me explain before. I thought my family would lose our business and everything we owned if I didn’t. But that was a lie.” She shakes her head. “Even my father told me to go after you when I explained that I was in love with you.”

  Her words shake me.

  “So he knows about me.”

  “Yes,” she breathes.

  I close my eyes, wishing that our timing were better. “It’s too late.”

  Her eyes are huge, and tears begin to form.

  “I told Kym she could continue to live here with me and that I’d take care of her.” The doorbell rings, which is why it had been a bad idea to have sex with Jenna. “That should be her.”

  Fear has me heading for the door. If I look at Jenna a second longer, I’ll lose my resolve.

  I open it, and Kym bursts through the opening to cling to me. “Brandon,” she cries with tears streaming down her face. I look over my shoulder at Jenna one last time and wish fate didn’t hate me so much.

  Thirty-Eight

  Jenna

  Without so much as a backward glance, I sprint out of the house and get into my car. I’m sorry for Brandon and what he’s going through. And for poor Kym as well. It’s terrible to lose your brother, I would imagine. No, let me take that back. I know it is, first hand. I watched Ben lose his best friend, which was actually more like a brother, and that was worse than awful. But I just lost the love of my life, and the crushing pain is unbearable.

  It seems that the last couple of years have been laced with heartache. A roller coaster of it. This is it. I’m done. I’ll crawl into my bed to lick my wounds, but after the healing, my heart will be a vault. This wound is too deep for me to even consider letting it happen again.

  The odd thing is, I am too numb to cry. Maybe it’s because I’m still so dumbfounded by the fact that Brandon would actually consider marrying Kym. If that’s what’s best, I will. His words dance around in my head until I want to scream. I thought we were finally in a place to start a life together. Maybe this is me being selfish for not considering his grief, but I’ve been with him every step of the way. Why can’t he understand that I would love to help Kym take care of the baby? I was planning to be there every step of the way, even quitting my job if necessary. I hadn’t mentioned that to either of them yet because we hadn’t gotten that far in the planning. I had even looked at bigger houses, so she could have a better place to live.

  As I lie here staring at the ceiling, my phone buzzes. My first inclination is to ignore it, but maybe it’s news about Braedon. When I answer, I’m disappointed to hear Cate’s voice.

  “How’s it going?” I can hear the sound of a baby crying and another child talking in the background.

  “Don’t ask.”

  “No news then.” She sighs.

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “And what does that mean?” she asks.

  When I tell her, she says, “So let me get this straight. He says he’ll marry Kym if that’s what’s best. And those were his exact words?”

  “Uh-huh.” I wish I could get them out of my head. “Well, I was the one who said quote, it sounded like you’d marry her, unquote.”

  Cate comes back with, “And then?”

  “Then he said quote, if that’s what’s best, I will, unquote.”

  “Oh, boy. That’s a little weird.”

  “Yeah. But he’s worried about her. She’s having a tough time. I mean, she’s so upset, but her pregnancy has been super difficult.”

  “Hmm. Still, he can be there for her without marrying her.”

  “My exact thoughts. I was planning on helping with the baby, too.” Then the dam breaks. I don’t know why my body chose this exact moment, but I am seized with sobs so fierce I can’t utter a word for several long moments.

  “Oh, Jenna. I wish I were there to help you, dammit.”

  I mumble something incoherent.

  “Have you called Ben and Sam?”

  “Noooooo.”

  “You should. Especially your brother. You know he could help. Maybe he can talk to Brandon, help get him through all this.”

  “Huh-uh. I don’t ever want to talk to Brandon again. Hurts too much. He brought up Kenneth.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah,” I hiccup.

  “Does he know how your mom blackmailed you?”

  “Not the whole extent of it.” I blow my nose, and Cate yells, “Ow. That was loud.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Jenna, you need to tell him the whole story.”

  I fiddle with the comforter. “No. I don’t want to see him again.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Hugging my knees to my chest, I blurt everything out, “He dumped all of this on me right after we had sex.” The confession rips another crater in my heart, and I’m not sure if I’ll have much of a heart left after this.

  “So, you have sex, and then he tells you he’ll marry his brother’s fiancée?” Even levelheaded Cate can’t believe it.

  I blow my nose once more before answering. “Yes. It was awful. I thought
everything between us was great. I mean, in lieu of everything going on. I knew he was in bad shape as far as his brother was concerned. Hell, we all have been a mess.”

  “Do you think this is just some crazy reaction he’s having?”

  “No! Unless it’s one that will last eighteen years, until the baby goes to college. Brandon feels responsible for Braedon. I mean, he practically raised him.”

  “Maybe he needs some space,” Cate says.

  “For what? To plan his wedding?” My sarcasm isn’t lost on Cate.

  “Okay, let me say this. In all fairness, he did stay with you after you broke up with Kenneth, right?”

  “Yes, before Mom pulled her little stunt.” Thinking about that day has all the hurt resurfacing.

  “He had to have been hurt.”

  “Of course, he was. And I tried to explain, but he left and didn’t give me a chance.”

  “I hear your frustration, and I agree—this is so odd. I can’t figure it out at all.”

  “He doesn’t want me, Cate. He said my family would never accept him.”

  “Your mom, probably. But Ben and Sam will accept him. Your dad saw him and told you to go for it. And after what Julia pulled, you’re at the point where you don’t care anymore what she thinks. The bottom line is everyone but Julia wants you to be happy, so your job is to convince him otherwise. So, what’s the problem then?”

  “Cate, you’re right on all the above. But with everything happening around Braedon, we never talked about it. So I can’t say. I know I wasn’t completely fair with him earlier on. You, more than anyone, understand the circumstances with my family. When I came to him, I wanted to make it up to him, to show him things are different now. I promised to be by his side throughout all this. And I have been. But I can’t do this with him now. I walked away, and it’s over.”

  “Does he feel the same way?”

  “He must. He didn’t try to stop me. And he said—his words, not mine—we both know your family will never accept me.”

  “Oh, Jenna. So, now what?”

  “I go back to work and start a new life. Maybe change jobs. Something.”

  “Come here, to D.C. I’d love for you to visit, you know.” While it sounds tempting, a vacation away from everything sounds even better.

  “Maybe an island getaway is in store for me. I don’t know. All I know is everything in this town is going to remind me of Brandon, and it’s going to suck.”

  “Call your brother and his wife. They’ll be the best to lean on. You know that.”

  “Yeah, but, Cate, this is so gutting, I’m not sure I can even talk about it. He’s the man of my dreams, and has been for too long. And the sad thing is, I feel like he died, too.”

  “Don’t say that, Jenna.”

  “I know, but it’s how I feel.”

  “Do you need me to come down there?”

  “At this point, I don’t know what I need.”

  “Let me get off here. The little one is screaming.”

  “Go. I’ll call if I need you.” It’s a relief to stop talking about it. I stare into the nothingness of my room, as it grows darker and darker. But as I’m dozing off, there’s someone pounding at my door. I ignore it for the first ten minutes, but they don’t go away. It’s so annoying but gets worse when my phone rings along with it. It’s Ben. Dammit. Cate must’ve called him.

  When I let him in, he pulls me into his arms and drags me to the couch. Sam is with him, and she heads to the kitchen, where she fixes everyone a liquor drink.

  “You’ve probably figured out Cate called.” Ben smiles at me. “She was worried about you.”

  “I’m not surprised. I had a fairly decent breakdown on the phone with her.”

  Sam chimes in, “She wants to fly in tomorrow.”

  Dropping my head back on the couch, I say, “Please tell her absolutely no. She was just here for my almost wedding. She does not need to come back.”

  Sam hands me a drink, and I take a huge swallow. It’s vodka, of course. My sister-in-law knows me well. I tell them everything I told Cate.

  Ben immediately says, “He’s reacting. It’s what he feels he needs to do right now.”

  I close my eyes and try not to relive that painful moment. “Oh, and where does that leave us?”

  “Not in a good place if he goes through with it.”

  “Just what I thought.”

  Ben frowns. “The real question is whether or not he’ll do it.”

  “I’m not going to stick around to find out. And he tossed the Kenneth thing at me when I told him he didn’t love her.” My ribs feel like they’re cracking under the weight of all this.

  “He’s striking out. When you hurt, you say all kinds of things you don’t mean. Ask Sam.” He looks at his wife with remorse, even after all this time. Ben and Sam had their share of ups and downs.

  “Ugh, that’s so true.”

  “Jenna, I’m going to go and talk with him,” Ben says.

  Shrugging, in a heavy tone, I say, “Do what you want. He could probably use someone like you to talk to. He may even be offended, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. He’s considering marrying his brother’s fiancée. While that may be noble to some, quite frankly it’s a little more than icky to me, not to mention it has pretty much cut me to the bone. Right now, I’m having great difficulty dealing with that.”

  “I understand. But I want you to keep in mind that when people grieve, they say all kinds of things they don’t really mean,” Ben says.

  “Maybe, but when you went through all the shit you did, and even the stuff you and Sam dealt with, did you ever mention the remote possibility of marrying someone else? Or even when Cate was dealing with all her shit, did you offer to marry her? I just happen to think it’s a little creepy.”

  Sam and Ben look at each other, and then Ben says, “He didn’t actually offer to—”

  “Okay, no, he didn’t, but he will if she wants him to.”

  “Jenna, why don’t you call her up and ask her then?” Sam asks.

  I shake my head. “I am not even going there. One, she’s far too upset for me to engage her in a conversation about that, and two, I don’t want to know. One love triangle was enough for me.”

  “One?” Ben asks.

  “Do I need to remind you?” I ask. When he still wears a mask of confusion, I say, “Kenneth and his friend.”

  “Oh. Sorry.”

  “Yeah. At the time, that one was funny. This one isn’t.”

  Ben scowls. “Come on. You can’t call this a love triangle.”

  “Whatever. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “I’m not finished. You don’t even know if Kym wants anything to do with this. Therefore, not a triangle. Or love.”

  “Can we change the topic?” I huff.

  “Jenna, stop being so difficult.”

  Sam, who hasn’t said anything for the last bit, joins the conversation. “Ben, honey, ease up a little. She just had her heart shredded and is feeling vulnerable right now.”

  His eyes soften as he looks at Sam. How I envy that. “You’re right. I guess I was taking the devil’s advocate role too far. Jenna, you’re my sister, and I’m on your side one hundred percent, no matter what happens. But I am going to try to talk to him. It may or may not help. Who knows?”

  “Fine, but that may or may not affect my position on things. I’m done with this roller coaster of a relationship. My heart can’t take it anymore.”

  Sam puts her arm around me and hugs me. “I’m here if you need me.”

  Then Ben asks, “Has Mom reached out to you?”

  “Not a word. And I’m not going to call her. Dad calls every day, though. We’re solid. But as far as Mom goes, our relationship is over as I see it.”

  Ben leans forward and grabs my arm. “Jenna, this is serious.”

  “Exactly. Like her blackmailing me was. She played me, Ben. She lied. How can you do that to your child in the name of society?” The whole
thing disgusts me to the core. “I would rather be poor than be like her.”

  “I know,” Ben says. “But she’s your mother.”

  “And she owes me an apology. A gigantic one. Until I get one, I won’t be calling her, or coming to Sunday dinners. Dad knows. I’ve explained it to him. It hurts, but he gets it. Out of curiosity, what does she say about my absences?” I’ve wondered about this but didn’t want to ask my dad. I’m sure he’s dealing with enough on his own.

  “Not a word. At least in front of Dad.”

  “I wonder what she says when he’s not around,” I say. I’m sure I’m the worst child in the world, since I left Kenneth at the altar.

  Ben shrugs. “I hope she calls because that’s the least of what you deserve from her.”

  “Yeah, especially after that awful dress she and Mama Balfour picked out.”

  Sam sputters out a laugh. Ben’s brows rise. “What?” he asks.

  Looking at Sam, I ask, “Did you not tell him about it?”

  “No. In all the commotion afterwards, I forgot.”

  “Oh my God, how could you forget about the giant cupcake covered in whipped cream?”

  Ben says, “What the hell are you two talking about?”

  “Hang on.” I go to my room and pull the ugly thing out of my closet and drag it behind me into the living room. “This is what we’re talking about.”

  “Fuck me. This was what you were wearing?”

  “Yep. This is what Mom wanted me to wear.”

  “Jesus.” He looks at Sam and says, “If you had worn something like this, I would’ve passed out.”

  “The ugliest wedding gown in the world,” I say. And it truly is.

  “It’s so … gaudy. Jenna, you should be on no talking terms with Mom just because of this.”

  Sam snorts. Ben says, “What?”

  “You should’ve seen her hair. It was just as bad,” Sam says. “It was, well,” her hands make all kinds of swirly motions around her head before she adds, “never mind.”

  “Dad said I looked like Medusa.”

  “What the hell is wrong with Mom?”

  “So, yeah. I won’t be reaching out and extending the olive branch.”

  We have a few more drinks before they leave, and Sam promises to call in the morning. As they’re walking out, Ben adds, “You can come and stay with us if you want.”