by LJ Baker
“I, uh, it’s probably too soon.”
“Too soon for what?” Luc raised one eyebrow and Amanda wanted to lick it. She had to get control of herself. Why was she all of a sudden acting like this? She hadn’t even begun to feel these feelings since before Greg died. Maybe it was the conversation with Toby and him forcing her to recall their kiss in vivid detail. That had to be it. It was just a kiss. She had to find a little self-control.
“I thought maybe when you were feeling comfortable with me and my services, you would be willing to put out a good word among the other club owners you have contact with. You know, help spread the word.” It wasn’t at all what she was thinking, but it was a good save. He nodded and seemed to buy her story.
“I can most definitely do that. Assuming I don’t lose your focus. We’re just getting started, so as long as you continue to make me happy, I’d be glad to spread the word about your business.” He smiled the kind of smile that brought down civilizations.
What the hell was wrong with her?
“Thanks. That would mean a lot. I’ll be sure to do my best to keep you happy.”
Luc’s eyes twinkled and she imagined the things he was thinking. It wasn’t likely about her bringing him new and exciting brands of specialty liquor and hot new IPA’s.
“Did you have something specific in mind?”
“Huh?” Did he mean what she was thinking he meant? He couldn’t. He definitely didn’t mean that. He was talking business. He had to be.
“To keep me happy, did you have anything specific in mind?”
Well, Toby did make her promise to kiss him one more time. Maybe that was her problem. She’d been thinking about that impending kiss in the back of her mind. If she just went ahead and did it, she could be done with it and move on. But if she kissed him now, with that look on his face, and that innuendo floating between them, he would think she’d meant for it to go further than it ever was going to.
“There’s this new brewery I came across that is looking into seasonal specials. I have an appointment to go out and try some of their samples. So I may have some new stuff for you soon.” It was the best she had. She really did have an appointment and they really did have some seasonal specials.
Without realizing what happened, or who instigated it, she was in his arms. Strong and thick, he was wrapped around her, his fingers digging painfully into her arms. His mouth was inches from hers, close enough to feel the heat of his breath, but he made no move to connect. It was Amanda that took that step, crushing her mouth to his in a heated frenzy.
At some point, Luc pulled back, still gripping her arms, and looked at her with a puzzled look. She understood his confusion. She felt the exact same way, though for very different reasons. She gave him the craziest signals, pushing him away and acting like a complete jerk one minute, then swallowing his face in an unexpected assault the next.
He must think she was unbalanced.
Which she probably was.
“Amanda, are you all right?”
It wasn’t the response she’d expected, but she was glad for it. It was certainly better than him asking her if she was off her medication. Which if she’d been on any, she’d have wondered herself.
“Of course I am. Why would you ask me that?” It was the dumbest thing she could have said, honestly and his smirk told her he knew it too.
Luc sighed. “Not that I don’t enjoy kissing you. I do, if there was any doubt about that. But you seem so conflicted about it. I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready for.”
Was he talking about the kiss… or more?
Did he want more?
Did she?
“What makes you think I’d do something I wasn’t ready for?” She pulled out of his grasp and took a few steps away. This was all too much. She wasn’t ready for more. Clearly, she wasn’t. The kiss hadn’t even been her idea. She promised Toby she would do it one more time and get it out of her system. Now she’d done that and she could move forward. No more kissing. No more wondering what Luc was thinking, or what he wanted, or how amazing he might be in bed. Not that she’d thought about that. Not much, anyway.
“I wasn’t implying that. I’m sorry if that came out wrong. I just meant that it seems like something is bothering you. Is there some way I can help?” His small smile was sincere and she knew he hadn’t asked for any of her craziness.
Despite her first impression, Luc seemed to be a decent guy. But that didn’t matter. He was a roadblock in her path. On one hand, she needed him to get the kind of contacts only someone well established in the club scene could provide. On the other, he was the kind of distraction that could derail the whole plan. And that, she didn’t need.
“I appreciate that, but I’m fine. I’ll let you know how it goes with the new brewery.” With that, she got back in her van and drove the hell out of there, leaving Luc watching after her from the delivery bay with a sad frown on his face.
CHAPTER TEN
“I’m surprised you called, to be honest. I’m still not sure what I'm doing here.” Toby ran his finger along the rim of his glass and avoided looking at Luc. Not that he could blame him. Luc didn't know himself why he'd made the decision to involve the roommate. But there they were, face to face, at a little table in a dark corner of his bar.
“Well, I guess that makes two of us.” Luc took a sip off his expensive whiskey and swirled it around in the glass before placing it back on the table. “I guess it’s because you’re the person closest to Amanda, and well, I’m kind of at a loss.”
“How is it you think I can help?” Toby finally made eye contact, but Luc was sure he was going to blush at any second.
There was a time when Luc was less discriminate about his choice of sexual partners. Toby was definitely the type he might have gone for in those days. He’d moved past that though. He was definitely looking for a female to share his life with. Whether or not that female was Amanda, he wasn’t sure. But he did want the chance to find out. In fact, it seemed like the more she shut him out, the more he wanted to get to know her. Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea, but he couldn’t help how he felt.
“I’m not even sure. Maybe I’m imagining it. I don’t know, but I feel like there’s something there, a spark, a connection, something. Maybe I’m just crazy.” Luc sighed. This wasn’t supposed to be so difficult. Not that he expected it to be easy to find his soul mate. He certainly didn’t. But he didn’t expect that getting close to each of the women would be the biggest hurdle.
“I don’t think you’re crazy.”
“Has she mentioned me? Does she feel the same way?” Luc hated the way he sounded. He was the God Damned King of Hell, for fucks sake, not a middle school boy.
“Luc, I’d love to help you out, but Mandy is my girl. I can’t betray her trust, not even for a perfect specimen of manhood such as yourself.”
There was the blushing.
“I completely understand. I wouldn’t expect you to betray her trust. But there must be something you can tell me, some niblet of information that can steer me in the right direction. Maybe I’m way off base here, and you can tell me if I am, but if I’m not, I need to know not to just give up and walk away.”
Toby sighed and took a long pull off his drink. “Mandy is damaged.”
“Her dead fiancé?”
“You know about that?” Toby’s eyes widened. “I only just found out about it. How do you know? Did she tell you?”
“No. She doesn’t tell me much of anything, but I do make it a habit of looking into the background of people I go into business with.”
“Oh. Right. Of course. You did a background check on her. That makes total sense.” Toby shook his head and appeared to be going over something in his own mind. Luc gave him a few moments to work out whatever it was that he needed to process.
“Is there more than that?”
“As far as I know of, that’s the big thing. But it’s a really big thing. She’s stuck. I can’t say whether or
not there’s something between you two. It sure seems like there could be, but where she’s at right this second, I’m not sure there’s much hope it would work out.”
So it was a case of bad timing once again.
Luc wasn’t ready to accept that.
“She kissed me.”
“Yeah, I heard about that.”
“Twice.”
Toby smiled. “Good girl.”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just that I kind of told her she should do it again. You know, to see if it was a onetime thing, or if there was more to it.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know. You tell me? This is the first I’m hearing of it. Her and I keep missing each other the last couple days.” Toby raised an eyebrow and waited. “I’m okay with getting the details from you. I mean, you did call me down here to talk about this stuff. So let’s hear it.” He tapped his fingers on the table and Luc smiled. He could see why Amanda liked him so much. He was definitely growing on Luc.
“I’m not really the sort to kiss and tell.”
“I think maybe you are. Since you just told me she kissed you. Twice.”
He had a point.
“A lot of women pass through these doors, many through my bed. I’m not used to having to work hard for this, you know?”
“So is that it? She’s a challenge and that’s what has you fired up?”
“That’s not it at all.” At least Luc didn’t think that was it. Surely, Harley based this pick on something more than the fact that Amanda would challenge Luc in ways he never thought possible.
“I really hope not, because Mandy isn’t some easy lay you can conquer and throw away afterward. She’s been through enough and she doesn’t need you toying with her emotions.” Toby sat up straight and clenched his hands into fists. Luc wanted to laugh, but he held it back.
“Calm down. I’m not looking to conquer anything. I was interested in Amanda long before she shot me down. I can’t say what it is, but there is something there. I just want to find out if there could be more. That’s all.”
Toby glared right into him for a long moment, then relaxed. “Good, because I’m pretty sure I can’t kick your ass, so this wasn’t going to turn out well for me.”
Luc did laugh that time. “I like you.”
“Oh yeah?” He fluttered his eyelashes a few times. “How much? Because if this thing with Mandy doesn’t work out, I’m totally free and I wouldn’t shoot you down. Like ever.”
“Easy there tiger, one roommate at a time.”
“So then a threesome is out?”
“Maybe you’ve had enough of that.” Luc slid Toby’s whiskey glass away from him. “Now how am I going to get your girl to give me a chance?”
“How about you start with asking her out? I’m pretty sure you haven’t tried that yet and there’s a slim possibility that she would just say yes. I know that somewhere deep down, she wants to.”
Ask her out.
Luc shouldn’t need Toby to tell him that, but to be honest, he hadn’t thought about that himself. It probably couldn’t hurt. Hell, maybe she would say yes, even if it was a slim chance. He had to try.
“Okay roommate, that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
***
For three days, Amanda kept her focus on business. She’d met with a few new brewers and manufacturers, and she’d gotten some new deals. There were a few specialty brews that she knew Luc was going to love. Now she just had to face him. She’d even been avoiding Toby so she didn’t have to talk about feelings and shit. She would swear that boy was secretly a thirteen year old girl just hiding in a man’s body.
But now the jig was up. She had to make her delivery to the club and she would most certainly see Luc. The way her stomach twisted into knots made her wonder if she was actually looking forward to that part, or dreading it completely. Either way, today was the day.
There was plenty of business to discuss. That would be the easy part. The part she wanted to avoid all together, was the bit about the kiss. Or the two kisses really, because she had stupidly listened to Toby and kissed him a second time. Why did she ever listen to Toby?
Amanda pulled her hair up into a ponytail and threw on something business-like, but casual enough to ensure she didn’t look like she was trying too hard. The last thing she needed was to give him the wrong impression. Like she’d already done. Twice.
Everything needed to go smoothly. She would meet with him, privately only if he insisted, and go over the new samples she had. If he wanted to place an order for the new choices, she would write out an invoice, and they would go from there. It would be simple and professional. Nothing more.
That had pretty much been the plan every time she’d seen him. Instead, she’d managed to insult him, get drunk on the job, start an argument with him, and kiss him. Twice.
The entire drive to the club, her stomach twisted and flipped. Part of her wanted to say forget it and turn right back around. She could call him and tell him she was sick and Toby was going to drop off the delivery. It shouldn’t matter to Luc who delivered the booze, as long as he got it. She knew she was lying to herself about that, but she didn’t even care.
Another part of her not only knew that wouldn’t work, but actually wanted to see him. That was the part that worried her more. Amanda had never been nervous around men before. In fact, that was the situation she felt most comfortable with. She knew what men wanted and she knew how to give it to them.
But that was before.
Before Greg died, sex was a major focus in her life. She couldn’t have imagined her life without it. Lots of it. Now, she wasn’t sure how she would ever find that part of herself again. It wasn’t that she never thought about sex anymore. It was more that every time she did, the guilt flooded over her and she pushed it as far from her mind as she could manage.
She almost hated to think what Greg would think about her new sexless existence. He probably wouldn’t recognize the new Amanda. Hell, she didn’t really recognize her. She looked the same when she faced the mirror, the same blond hair, the same blue eyes, the same slightly crooked nose that she got from her father. The package was the same, but that was where the resemblance ended. The closest she’d come to feeling like her old self was the two times she kissed Luc. For those few short moments, she was transported back, lost in the sensations. It was the way it was supposed to be. Or, it was the way it was supposed to be, before.
Amanda pulled her van into the delivery bay of the club and snapped herself back to reality. She needed to focus. It was too late to back out and she had a job to do. Even if she couldn’t get her personal shit together, she would damn sure get her professional life in order. She would make this business work, because really, what else did she have anymore?
The two men from last time were there to greet her as she pulled up the back of her van and watched as they began unloading the boxes. She showed them which two needed to be brought up front to Luc so she could go over the new samples and see what he might be interested in.
She should be excited about all of this. It was her big break. Landing such a major customer was a huge deal. The fact that he seemed to like her, and want to help, was an amazing bonus. If Greg had been alive, this was the sort of thing they’d be celebrating with several bottles of champagne and a stupid amount of sex.
After the boxes were unloaded, she followed the men up front with the samples and waited for Luc to finish on a phone call. He was dressed in an expensive suit, as usual, not a string out of place. His hair was combed back perfectly, making her want to reach out and ruffle it, just to make him flawed in some way.
Toby wasn’t wrong when he called him a perfect specimen of manhood. Even if that was a ridiculous thing to say, it was true. Before she’d met Greg, she’d have jumped at the chance to spend a night with Luc. As much as she hated to admit it, she might have even jumped at the chance after she’d met Greg. Those days were
long over though. And besides, Luc was someone she needed to keep a professional relationship with.
He held up one finger and smiled at her, causing her stomach to take another back flip. She could rationalize it away all she wanted, her body still responded. No matter how much she hated it for doing so.
“Sorry, business stuff. You have some new samples for me?” He eyed the boxes sitting on the floor next to the table she had settled into.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I think you’re really going to like some of the new brews.”
“I think I have something you’re really going to like as well.” Luc sat down at the table across from her and reached into his jacket pocket for a small white card.
“Oh?”
“I was talking to a friend of mine, one who owns a chain of bars around the city, and I mentioned my exceptional new distributor. He tried a few of the new things you’ve brought me and he wants to have a sit down with you.” He handed her the card and leaned back in his chair.
“Wow. Thank you. I thought you wanted to get to know how this was going to play out before you started recommending me around.”
“I thought so too, but here we are.”
Amanda looked over the card and ran her finger over the raised letters. She’d heard of the guy. He had bars and restaurants all over the city. That was what she’d been waiting for. Things were finally coming together and her business had a good chance of succeeding. And she owed it all to Luc for giving her a chance. She sort of wanted to leap across the table and hug him, which she obviously wasn’t going to do.
“I really appreciate this, Luc. You don’t know how much this is going to help me.”
“Well now, don’t thank me yet. I can’t promise he will want to work with you. All I did was say a few nice things and take his card for you. You’re the one who has to win him over and he’s not the easiest person to win over.”