Gluttony

by LJ Baker

  When he reached her wet underwear, he paused, admiring the view, before dipping down to pull them free with his teeth. They scraped along her flesh, tickling her as he went. When he reached her thighs, he used his hands to push them the rest of the way to her ankles, and she kicked them free of her feet.

  Now with her fully naked, Luc headed back up her body, skipping the places she most wanted his attention to go. When he finally reached her face, he spoke. “Amanda…”

  He had that look that she knew meant he was about to ask her if she was sure she wanted this. He would tell her that they didn’t need to do anything she wasn’t ready for. Given the circumstances, it was a nice-guy thing to do, but she couldn’t let the words come out of his mouth. If she heard them, if she was given the chance to really consider them, she might change her mind.

  It wasn’t just about being with Luc. This was a defining moment. One of those times where a person is given a chance to move past all the baggage and move forward with their lives, no matter how enormous the hurdle might have seemed. If she stopped to rethink, she would change her mind, she knew she would, and she may never take advantage of another opportunity.

  “Don’t.” She put one finger up to Luc’s mouth and stopped him from derailing her much-needed baby step forward. Okay, so maybe sex with Lucifer Morningstar wasn’t exactly a baby step, but in the grand scheme of things, the way she’d been going, it sure seemed like one.

  “But—”

  “Please. Just don’t say anything. Kiss me.”

  Luc’s brow crunched down and he stared at her for a long moment, but at least he didn’t talk. Once it looked like he worked it out in his own head, he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was gentle, as if he was still holding back. That wasn’t going to do. She needed him to keep the thoughts from her mind, to keep her grounded in the present, rather than drowning in the past. If Luc was hesitant, she would just have to convince him this was what she wanted.

  She tangled her hands in his dripping hair and pulled him to her, crushing his mouth against hers. The kiss wasn’t at all gentle. It was desperate, rough, and exactly what she needed. It didn’t take Luc long to take the lead from her and give her exactly what she craved.

  His mouth moved down to her neck, his teeth grazing the soft flesh, while his hands roamed her body, learning every inch, the way she had done to him in the shower. Her skin tingled under his touch, aching for more. Her mind no longer wandered. She focused on the sensations, the pleasure, as he expertly found all the right spots to jack up her desire, leaving her ready to beg for more.

  And Amanda wasn’t the kind of girl to beg.

  Once Luc had her panting, and so impatient she was ready to flip him over, and impale herself on him, he moved back up and kissed her lips one last time before trying to speak once again. Pulled from the moment, Amanda slapped her palm to his mouth. The panic hit her, afraid that he would say something that brought her too close to reality.

  “Don’t.” It took everything she had to keep her thoughts from swimming back to the front of her mind. She needed this. Needed him. Needed to get past this stuck point in her life, if she ever wanted any chance to move forward.

  He nodded, as if he understood. Then with one expert move, thrust completely inside her. Amanda’s mouth popped open, as her legs came up around him, pulling him tight against her. He was big, maybe too big, and he stretched her in ways she wasn’t sure were natural. He remained still, allowing her a moment to adjust to the size of him. If that was even possible.

  Three years of no sex was almost like being a virgin all over again. Okay, so she’d had her vibrator on the rare occasion, but it was nothing compared to the size of the real thing, especially in Luc’s case.

  After a long moment, he settled into a slow, steady rhythm, that only sort of made her feel like she was being split open. Even if he broke her in two, Amanda wanted every hard inch of him. She’d forgotten how amazing it felt to be filled that way. Seriously, she’d pushed the entire memory from her mind. With Luc inside her, it all came flooding back.

  It wasn’t like riding a bike, because Luc’s size made this all new territory, but Amanda’s body took over and responded in time with his. With every slow thrust in, her hips came up to meet him, as if their bodies were meant to be one. The whole thing was an experience, one that came together like a symphony inside her head.

  When they’d started, she felt a sense of urgency. Raw need, coupled with something just short of panic, left her thinking she needed fast, hard, immediate, to keep the bad thoughts from her mind, to take what she needed and move forward with her life. That all left her the moment Luc thrust inside her.

  Luc’s eyes stayed on her the whole time. It was as if he was waiting for her to change her mind. Amanda was beyond that. She was lost in the feeling of him, of them together, of something that was nothing she’d ever experienced. Her entire body tingled with pleasure and steadily increasing need. It was like the dance they’d shared. She never wanted it to end.

  His hand came up to smooth back her hair and he leaned down to kiss her. It was that moment, that kiss, that sent her past the point of no return. Her legs clamped tighter around him and he groaned in response.

  “Luc,” she panted. It was the only coherent word that would form in her mind as she came apart beneath him. Her insides squeezed around him, tightening the already snug fit of him inside her, and he joined her over the edge.

  Luc collapsed down onto his elbows, his body a cage around her, and nestled his face into her neck. Gradually, his breathing slowed, and he slipped off her, to settle against her side. Amanda felt the cold loss of his body immediately. She almost wanted to pull him back onto her, to keep their connection as long as humanly possible. But she let him go. She knew she had to. Not just in that moment, but for the sake of getting her life back on track, maybe forever.

  ***

  The sound of her breathing had a calming effect on Luc. Her hair was splayed across the pillow and partly on his chest. It felt right there, like there was no other place for it, but to be draped across his body.

  He didn’t want to wake her. The last couple hours were amazing, the kind of special that left a permanent imprint on the mind. She was so peaceful while asleep and Luc was afraid what would happen when she woke up. He knew it was probably too soon for her to take such a step. She hadn’t yet dealt with her grief over losing her fiancé. He just hoped she wouldn’t have too much regret, or hate him for not saying no.

  With a snort, she rolled over, away from Luc, and hugged the pillow to her chest. Luc took the opportunity to slip out of bed and clear his mind before she woke. He thought about making breakfast, or leaving her a note and leaving, but he wasn’t sure what the right move was. Normally, he’d have kicked whatever woman he was with, out of his bed long before he fell asleep. What to do with a woman in the morning wasn’t a problem Luc normally had. What to do with one who might be his potential soul mate, was even more confusing.

  Everything about being with Amanda confused Luc. He felt something with her, something he couldn’t explain. What it was, he wasn’t sure. He’d also felt something with Ronnie Falcon, but this was different. Maybe he was just getting too wrapped up in the stupid game. Or maybe seeing Cupid was messing with his head. It could even be that he’d been wanting this for so long, that he was imagining things now that he might be close to getting it.

  Whatever it was, Luc needed to get his mind clear and figure out what he was feeling. Not that it might even matter. Amanda could wake up and want nothing more to do with him. If that happened, it didn’t matter what he felt. He wouldn’t use his powers to persuade her. Even if Harley hadn’t forbid it for the game, Luc never would have done it. What he wanted was real, genuine love. And that, he had to earn. That much he knew.

  Luc went into the bathroom, because he wasn’t quite sure where to go in the small apartment. He paced across the floor, searching for something, anything, that would make sense of his jumbled though
ts. He was the damn King of Hell. It made no sense that he was twisted up like this over a human female, one that hardly wanted to be around him. Except that last night, she did.

  “Ugh,” Luc groaned. Maybe this game was a mistake. Maybe he should just give up and call in Cupid. Sure, he would make Luc grovel, and he would gloat like some arrogant, self-aggrandizing asshole, but he could possibly be able to do the job without all this waiting, and without all these insane feelings clogging up his head.

  “Luc?” He spun around to find her standing there in his shirt, hair a mess, and wide, sad eyes looking up at him.

  “Sorry. Did I wake you? I was trying to keep quiet.”

  “You didn’t wake me. I had a nightmare.”

  He’d considered looking into her mind while she slept to see what she dreamed. Now he really wished he had broken the rules and went for it.

  “I’m sorry.” He fought the urge to go to her, to take her into his arms, and comfort her. “Anything you want to talk about?”

  She shook her head and twisted her fingers around the hem of his shirt. “You think I could get some breakfast before I go? If you’re busy this morning, I can get something on my way home. It’s no big deal.”

  She didn’t look like she regretted spending the night with him, exactly, but there was definitely something on her mind. He would certainly make her breakfast if it meant having her stay a while longer, and maybe getting her to talk about what was bothering her.

  “It would be my pleasure to make you breakfast.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean you had to cook. Just some toast, or cereal. Anything really. I’m not picky.”

  “So you’ve told me.” Luc put his hand on her back and led her toward the kitchen. She had a natural beauty that showed through even with her hair sticking in twenty different directions, sleep crusted in her eyes, and her makeup smudged on her face. Though he refrained from pointing all that out, Luc took note and smiled.

  “What shall it be? Eggs? Bacon? Pancakes?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Okay, all of the above then.” Luc chuckled and went about getting the ingredients and utensils ready as she settled onto the stool at the kitchen island. To err on the side of caution, he made double portions of each breakfast item, for each of them, plus a bit more. After the way she packed away the food last night, he wanted to make sure he filled her stomach before sending her off.

  Something about even thinking that felt wrong. He didn’t want to send her off. He wanted her to stay, spend the afternoon with him, but he could tell by the faraway look on her face that it was too soon for such a request.

  “I love the smell of bacon. You’re making a lot of that, right?” She took a deep inhale of the air and smiled.

  “I was planning on a pound. Should I make it two?” Luc held up a second, unopened package.

  “Yes!” She bounced in her seat. “Make whatever you have. I’ll buy you more. Bacon is like my coffee.”

  “So you don’t want coffee?”

  “I mean, I’ll take some of that too, but I’d sell my soul for bacon.”

  “Your soul is worth much more than that. Never make that deal. Trust me.” Luc shrugged. The things humans would sell their souls for was bewildering. He knew she wasn’t serious, but it didn’t change the uncountable number of bad deals he’d made over the years, even though he always warned them that they were making a deal they shouldn’t be making.

  Humans.

  “Not like it matters.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, it doesn’t matter what I get for my soul. It doesn’t exist. When you die, you die. That’s it. The end. Poof, you rot.” She spoke the words with no expression, yet he knew she believed them down deep in her soul. Pun intended.

  “So, God, the Devil heaven and hell, none of it exists?” Luc removed a batch of cooked bacon from the pan and set it on a paper towel to drain. Amanda snatched a hot piece off the plate before he could swat her away and stuffed it, burning hot, into her mouth.

  “Nope.”

  “That’s it? Nope? No elaboration?”

  “I’m going to need more bacon if you want to turn this conversation into some religious, philosophical debate this early in the morning.”

  “It’s eleven in the morning. Not exactly early.”

  “Says you. Now hand over the bacon, jerk, or change the subject.”

  “Ah, so we’re back to jerk. And while I’m making you two pounds of this crispy, delicious processed pig. Maybe I shouldn’t share any of my bacon with you.”

  “No, no. I’m sorry. Please give me the pig. I’ll love you forever if you just give me some bacon.” She looked up at him from behind her lashes and smiled. Something inside Luc’s chest tensed when she’d said those words.

  What if she was the one?

  “Fine. I’ll let you have one more piece, but just because you promised to love me forever. I happen to plan on living forever, so that is a very long time, and I intend for you to keep up your end of the bargain.”

  “Even if you do intend to live forever, I don’t, so there’s only so long I can keep that up. I will warn you though, I do require constant bacon reinforcements, or I may give up on you.”

  Luc handed her a single slice of bacon. She frowned, but took it, immediately shoving it into her mouth all at once. “Now get talking, or no more for you.”

  “Fine.” She stuck her tongue out at him around the chewed bits of food. “None of it exists. Heaven, Hell, God, whatever, it’s all just a bunch of fairy tales that people told back when life sucked so bad they needed something to believe in. It’s also something people use to justify war, violence, hate, and just behaving badly in general. None of it is real. Are you telling me you think differently?” She eyed the plate of bacon and raised one eyebrow. Luc pushed the plate in her direction and she practically buzzed with excitement.

  “I do think differently. I mean, I agree with you on the part that people use it all as an excuse to behave in awful ways, but I disagree that it’s all not real. I know for a fact, that there is more to come after we die. I happen to have a very close relationship with the guy who runs things.”

  “Which things?”

  “I don’t follow.”

  “You have an in with the guy who runs which things, heaven, or hell?”

  Luc finished scrambling the eggs and scooped them onto two plates. He pushed one toward Amanda and poured her some juice. By the time he was done, she’d finished half the bacon and he was seriously doubting he was going to be getting much of it before she polished it all off.

  “Ah.” Luc had intended it as a joke, and although she wasn’t being serious, he felt uncomfortable going forward in the conversation. “Both, I guess. But Hell more so.”

  “Maybe I should be worried about sharing a bed with someone who knows the CEO of Hell up close and personal.”

  “I don’t think he considers himself a CEO.”

  “No? What then?”

  “King.”

  Amanda laughed so hard she nearly choked on her mouthful of bacon. “King. Funny. That’s very arrogant.”

  “You don’t think the King of Hell has a right to a little arrogance?”

  “No. I think he should be humble and treat people better.”

  “The King of Hell is in charge of punishing the wrongdoers of the universe. His job isn’t easy. I don’t think he needs to treat people better.”

  “Oh whatever.” She waved a hand in the air. “None of it is real anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

  Luc finished the pancakes just in time to slide a few onto her plate before it was completely empty. “Well, reality doesn’t require you to believe in it. Thankfully.”

  Amanda stopped eating and stared at Luc with a blank expression.

  “What?” He forked some eggs into his mouth and waited for her mouth to catch up with whatever it was that was going on in her brain.

  “Are you one of those crazy religious fanatics? I didn’t see
any crucifixes around, or bibles, or anything. I mean, if you are, that’s fine and all. It’s just I’m really not into that, so I don’t want to be converted. I’ll just say that up front so we don’t have to do that crazy dance.”

  “First of all, No, I am not a religious fanatic. Second, I don’t even understand why Christians want to keep a reminder of the worst day of their Messiah’s life on display. And third, bibles, meh. That book doesn’t focus on the really important players.”

  “So you believe in God, but not all that other crap?”

  Luc stifled a chuckle. “God does not require formal religion. He just is. There are stories that border on truth and stories that are full on fairy tales. I think it is up to each individual to make up their mind on what to believe. God doesn’t hold that against anyone. Humans are his creation. Why would he fault them for looking for answers, when little have been provided?”

  “So, no conversion, right?”

  “No conversion. You have your beliefs and I have mine. They don’t have to overlap for us to enjoy each other.”

  “Is that what we’re doing? Enjoying each other?”

  “I thought that was exactly what we’ve been doing. Unless I’m wrong about that?” Luc hoped he wasn’t saying the wrong thing. He watched her face as she thought about what he’d said. He wasn’t sure if she was pondering the religious stuff, or the enjoying each other part. Either way, he was anxious to hear her thoughts.

  “I should go.” She slid off the seat and disappeared into the bedroom without another word. All she left in her wake was a half-eaten pancake and a very confused Luc.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  An entire week passed before Luc saw Amanda again. One week of wondering, or second-guessing, of dialing her number, only to shove his phone back into his pocket. However hard it was, Luc fought the urge to check up on her through the special mirror. He gave her space, as Harley had told him to do. Azrael agreed, and although Luc never thought his idiot brother knew much of anything, he felt like he might be right this time.