Crazy Stupid Love (Crazy Love #1)

by Melissa Toppen

  Taking a deep breath, I make my way back out towards the table. The occupants seem much calmer now that they have food to replace the need for conversation; well, everyone except Decklan who has chosen a liquid diet for this afternoon, now on his third beer.

  I can’t help but wonder if he always drinks this much or if it’s the current situation he finds himself in which clearly isn’t a pleasant one. From my frequent trips to their table, I have learned at least a couple of things.

  The woman is his mother, that much is clear. Not only have I heard him refer to her as such, but he also looks a great deal like her. The other man is his older brother, Trey I believe. I only know this because I overheard him call Decklan ‘little brother’ so that left out a lot of the guess work. Though based on their appearance I never would have guessed it.

  Decklan is all leather and ripped jeans, rugged and impossibly sexy, while his brother looks like an uppity frat boy. His dark hair is combed nicely to the side, and his face is free of any hair. He’s an attractive enough man but has nothing on Decklan.

  Either way, it’s clear to see that neither man particularly cares for the other. From the bits and pieces I’ve gathered, I’m guessing something big happened between them and it’s not that they simply don’t get along.

  I can feel Decklan’s eyes on me before I even make it to the table. I try my best to keep my face relaxed and not give away just how affected I actually am by this fact.

  “Can I get anyone anything?” I ask, positioning myself between Decklan’s brother and mother once I reach the table.

  “No, dear. I think we’re fine.” Decklan’s mother is the first to respond, giving me a sweet smile as she slides her near empty salad plate to the side.

  “We’ll take the checks please,” Trey speaks next, his voice clipped.

  “Of course.” I nod, clearing away their empty plates, avoiding Decklan’s gaze as I do.

  I don’t know why I feel so on edge around him. Okay, so he’s good looking. It’s not like I haven’t seen an attractive man before. There’s just something about him, I can’t explain it.

  It takes me a good five minutes to get the system to cooperate and print out their checks. Having only worked here for three weeks, I’m still struggling a bit with the finicky computer systems they use.

  When I finally make it back out onto the patio, the dynamic has completely changed. Decklan’s mother is crying softly, and Decklan looks as though he’s ready to kill someone; his face contorted in anger as he glares at Trey across the table.

  Not sure what to do, I silently deposit the payment books onto the table and quietly slip away. The tension is so heavy I can feel the weight of it just by being in close proximity.

  I glance outside over the next several minutes while still tending to my customers that are seated indoors, but I can’t really get a feel of what exactly is going on. After delivering food to two different tables, I decide to head back out and collect their money.

  My stomach sinks slightly when I realize that the only people remaining at the table are Decklan’s mother and brother.

  “I’m sorry about all the commotion,” she says, wiping her damp cheeks with her napkin.

  “Don’t apologize, Mom. It’s not your fault.” Trey reassures her, patting the back of her hand.

  “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can get for you?” I ask, eager to escape the awkwardness of a clearly emotional situation.

  “No, dear. Thank you.” She gives me a weak smile.

  I nod, turning to collect the payment books from the table before heading back inside.

  Having paid in cash, the moment I leave the table she stands, collecting her purse, exiting the patio just moments later with Trey at her side.

  Letting out a slow exhale, I turn my attention to cashing out each check, trying to focus on something other than my disappointment with how quickly Decklan left. I don’t know what I expected. I guess I hoped maybe...hell, I don’t know what I was hoping for.

  Shaking my head, I flip open the last payment book to find Decklan’s check inside but no money along with it. Confused, I glance back towards the table thinking maybe he left the cash there but immediately freeze when I realize he has reclaimed his seat at the table.

  Swallowing down the sudden lump in my throat, I head slowly back outside, more nervous now than I have been since he arrived because now I don’t have the buffer of his family being with him.

  “Sorry. I thought you left so I picked this up,” I say, sitting the payment book back onto the table in front of him.

  “What time do you get off work?” he asks, completely bypassing my statement.

  “What?” The word falls from my lips in confusion, but I quickly recover. “Um, here in the next few minutes,” I say, doing my best to seem as casual as possible. “I have to wait for the rest of my tables to cash out.”

  He nods his head slowly as if processing the information. “In that case, I think I’ll have one more.” He gives me a slow smirk that makes my knees tremble slightly below my weight.

  “Oh, okay,” I say, not sure why what time I get off work plays a factor in him staying for another drink.

  Confusion swarms my mind as I try to figure out exactly what is happening right now. And while I am a bit scared at the possibility that maybe he wants to hang out when I get off, the thought also sends an excitement through me that is nearly impossible to contain.

  Picking the payment book up, I return just moments later with his fourth beer and his new check. He gives me a slow nod, his gaze following me as I set the glass down in front of him.

  “You’re not from around here, are you?” He cocks his head to the side as if trying to figure something out.

  “Am I that obvious?” I blush slightly, not entirely able to control the flood of all the emotions I’m currently experiencing.

  “Let me guess, Indiana?” He crosses his arms casually in front of himself as he relaxes back into his chair.

  “West Virginia.” A small laugh manages to escape my lips at his expression.

  “Close enough.” He gives me an amused smile, the action making him so incredibly sexy I can barely stifle the moan that seems to work its way into my throat.

  “I take it you are from here?” I force myself to speak.

  “Is it that obvious?” He repeats my question back to me.

  “Kind of.” I can’t contain my wide smile when he leans his head back on a deep laugh. “Well, I should get back to work,” I say, gesturing towards the indoor dining room. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

  “Not at the moment.” He gives me a wicked smile and slides his aviators down just far enough that his gray eyes meet mine, my stomach bottoming out the moment they do.

  I have half a mind to say screw my other customers and beg him to take me somewhere and show me what I have so clearly been missing. It’s apparent in the way every fiber of my body aches for him that I have never truly known what it means to want someone.

  “Okay,” I stutter out, feeling the blush once again flood my cheeks.

  Spinning around I quickly walk away, wondering if he’s purposely implying something or if I’m just interpreting things the way I want them to be.

  After dropping off the checks for my last two tables, I slide inside the ladies room to wash my hands and try to get a grip on my quickly unwinding nerves.

  “You don’t even know him,” I say to my reflection in the mirror. “Pull yourself together.”

  Even as I utter the words, I can’t help the slow smile that spreads in front of me.

  “Stop it,” I warn myself.

  It does me no good. He’s under my skin.

  I continue to try to talk myself out of encouraging this situation any further, knowing full well that if anyone is hidden behind one of the stall doors I am likely to sound like an absolute lunatic but honestly at the current moment, I’m not sure that I care much.

  I stare hard at myself in the mirror, taking
in my flushed complexion and the glaze over my eyes. The way my wild curls are tied up haphazardly in a knot fit perfectly with how wild and unhinged a man I don’t even know has managed to make me feel.

  Taking one more deep breath I finally exit the bathroom, my steps faltering the moment I catch sight of Garrett leaning against the bar speaking to Jane, the mid-day bartender. I have to do a double take, at first convinced that my mind is playing tricks on me.

  Only I don’t think it is.

  In fact, I know it’s not.

  I know the moment his chocolate eyes meet mine and a wide smile crosses his clean shaved face that he really is standing just feet from me and now closing in. It’s only seconds before his arms wrap around my shoulders and he’s pulling me tightly against his chest.

  “God it’s so good to see you, Kim.” He gives me another tight squeeze before releasing me, taking a step back to get a good look at me.

  “Garrett?” It’s all I can manage; the unexpected arrival of my ex-boyfriend placing me in a state of confusion and shock.

  “What...what are you doing here?” I question.

  “I missed you.” He almost whines, pouting out his bottom lip slightly.

  I don’t know why but the action makes me cringe.

  “How did you find me?” I question, having never mentioned to him exactly where I work in the handful of times we’ve spoken since I’ve been here.

  He looks almost offended for a split second but then quickly recovers, his perfect exterior immediately falling back into place.

  “Well I went to your dorm room first, but you weren’t there. Your roommate said I could find you here.” He smiles and I do my best to return the smile, at the current moment plotting my revenge on Harlee who has no idea the position she has just put me in.

  I can’t blame her, of course. She knows so very little about my past or Garrett. If roles were reversed, I probably would have done the same thing.

  Taking a long hard look at the man in front of me, it becomes so apparently clear how much I’ve changed since arriving in Oregon. By the look on his face as he takes in my attire, I would say he’s reaching the same conclusion.

  “You look...different,” he observes, gesturing to my casual clothing.

  Throwing out my skirts and blouses was one of the first things I did when I arrived here. I couldn’t bear to wear the clothing my parents’ had forced me to endure for the last eighteen years, never being allowed to express myself through fashion.

  “I feel different,” I admit, flicking my eyes towards the patio where Decklan is.

  My heart drops as I watch him stand, dropping cash onto the table before exiting the patio, not once looking in my direction. Disappointment creeps into my gut and quickly spreads through the rest of my body, leaving me with an almost sinking feeling.

  “Kim.” Garrett pulls my attention back to him.

  “Sorry. I’m working,” I say, shaking my head slightly.

  “I know. Of course, of course you are. The bartender said you are finishing your shift up, I was hoping I could wait for you.” He gives me a hopeful smile.

  “Yeah, okay,” I say, trying to keep my frustration in check.

  I still don’t understand why he would fly across the country to see someone who has made it more than clear she doesn’t want to see him.

  “Give me ten minutes. You can wait at the bar,” I say, stepping past him to make my way back out onto the patio.

  Stopping in front of Decklan’s now deserted table, I pick up the hundred dollar bill he left folded on top of his check. I can’t help but wonder why in hell he left so much when his bill was under twenty dollars. Do I seem desperate for money somehow? The thought makes me slightly self-conscious, but I try to push it away. I’m sure he was just being nice.

  Turning to my left, I manage to catch sight of Decklan just as he climbs onto his motorcycle that is parked across the street from the restaurant. I want to go after him, find out why he left so abruptly, but the last thing I want to do is seem desperate.

  I was just his waitress and nothing more. He probably sends signals like that to every female he encounters. I was foolish to let myself think he was actually interested in me. A man who oozes sex is just that. He can’t help how he makes a woman feel, it’s just part of who he is.

  Letting out a deep sigh, I turn and make my way back inside to cash out his check and the two other tables that still remain in the indoor dining area. Less than ten minutes later, I am exiting the restaurant with Garrett at my side.

  I wait until we have walked several feet away from the restaurant before turning on Garrett, causing him to stop in the middle of the sidewalk. He looks from side to side and then steps towards the wall of the building behind us.

  “Why did you stop?” He seems confused.

  “I can’t do this, Garrett. I can’t just pretend like you showing up here is a good thing. It’s not. I asked you for time,” I start.

  “And I gave it to you.” He cuts me off, keeping his voice low.

  If there is one thing Garrett hates, it’s public conflict. He hates drawing unwanted attention to himself.

  “No, you didn’t.” I shake my head. “You’ve called me multiple times a day since I’ve been here and now you just show up. I’ve been gone eight weeks, Garrett. Eight, and already here you are.”

  “Why is it such a bad thing that I miss you, that I want to speak to you, that I want to see you?” He runs a hand through his perfectly styled brown hair, clearly frustrated.

  “Because I don’t want to see you,” I say, instant guilt swarming my stomach with the hurt that I can see in his dark eyes.

  “Look.” I try to soften the blow. “I told you when I left, I will never find out who I really am unless I am given a chance to figure it out. I can’t be your girlfriend. I can’t be my parents’ daughter. I need to be Kimber. Just Kimber.”

  “I still don’t understand why you have to rid yourself of everyone to figure out what you want in life.” He crosses his arms in front of himself, his gray collared fleece bunching at his chest.

  “Because everyone thinks they know what I want; what’s best for me. Even you. You have spent the last three years trying to make me your perfect girl. That’s not me. I’m not the daughter my parents’ see me as, and I am not the kind of woman that you are going to be happy with.”

  “I was happy with you,” he interjects.

  “But that wasn’t me. Don’t you get it? That was the me I wanted you to see. The me my parents’ made me feel forced to be. I don’t want to be that person anymore. And you deserve to be with someone who will be honest with you and who wants the same things you want.” I reach out and rest my hand on his forearm, but he flinches away from the contact.

  “Who is he?” His face instantly hardens.

  “What?” I ask, confused by the sudden change in his demeanor.

  “The guy you’re screwing; who is he?”

  “I’m not screwing anyone,” I say, a bit taken aback by his words.

  “Yeah right, Kimber. You don’t just decide to be someone else. People change other people. Someone is clearly changing you. So who is he?”

  “I’m changing me,” I state forcefully. “Only me. I am finally becoming the person I have always been. For the first time in my life, I’m free. I’m free from judgment, free from disappointing everyone around me, free from you and from my parents’.”

  “I don’t understand why you can’t do all of this with me?” His voice returns to the smooth proper tone he uses when he’s trying to impress someone.

  “Because you are not the solution, Garrett. You’re part of the problem,” I say, finally telling him what I should have when I ended things between us two months ago.

  “So three years...three years meant nothing to you?” His anger returns.

  “Of course, it did. You are a part of so many of my firsts. I will also value the time we spent together, Garrett, always. But our time together is over now. We don’t w
ant the same things in life. We’re not the same people we were three years ago.”

  “I can’t just let you go. We are meant to be together, Kim. You know it as much as I do; you’re just scared.”

  “It’s Kimber, not Kim and no, I’m not scared. I don’t want to be with you, Garrett.”

  “I won’t let you go just like that,” he states, matter of fact. “I will wait as long as it takes for the girl I know is in there; the girl who loves me too.”

  “Well then, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time because that girl is gone, and she’s never coming back.”

  “I don’t know what to do without you.” He breathes, his demeanor shifting.

  “You’ll figure it out. I know you will,” I say, pushing up on my tiptoes to lay a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Goodbye, Garrett,” I say, pulling away.

  I give him one last small smile before turning and walking away, leaving him standing in the middle of the sidewalk. It takes everything I have not to turn around, but at the end of the day I know I need to hold strong.

  Garrett is no longer a part of my life and the clearer I make that, the better he’s going to be in the end for it. There’s no sense in giving him false hope, no matter how bad I feel for hurting him.

  Garrett is my past.

  I am my future.

  What I can make of that is still yet to be seen.

  Chapter Four

  Decklan

  “Well, how did it go?” Gavin looks up at me from behind the bar the moment I step inside.

  “How the fuck do you think it went?” I snap, throwing my keys and sunglasses down on the bar before sliding onto one of the stools.

  I throw a nod to two customers that are seated at the end of the bar drinking beer before turning back to Gavin just as he steps up directly across the bar from me.

  “Whiskey?” he questions, already grabbing a glass and the bottle before I even have a chance to answer.

  “Why the fuck not?” I let out a loud exhale, relaxing back into the stool.