by Nikki Paris
“That you’re actually a decent guy, and you maybe don’t hate everyone,” Dani said, her pretty blue eyes turning almost shy.
I rolled my eyes. “Not true. I do hate everyone.” Dani wasn’t stuttering at all. Did that mean she was relaxed and having fun with me?
“Except for Marshall and Amy. Then, I mean, you save puppies and kittens all day.” She bit her lip again and locked gazes with me. Dani ran her tongue along the opening of her bottle. My cock stiffened.
Could she feel the sexual tension in the room? Did she know how badly I wanted to put my hands all over her body? And how guilty that made me feel?
Dani took another drink from her bottle and then leaned forward with a wicked smile. “Can I tell you something, Connor?” Her speech slurred just a little.
I stared right at her tits. The wine was getting to me. “What, Dani?” I took another long drink.
“Okay, are you ready?” She laughed. Fuck, I liked her laugh. “This is a drunk secret, and sober Dani would be pissed if she knew I was doing this, so don’t tell her!” She leaned forward a little more. My eyes went right back to her tits. “I have a crush on you!” She burst out laughing and took another drink.
I met her gaze. “You have a crush on me? Like a twelve-year-old?”
Dani threw her head back and laughed. “I mean, it’s a little less innocent than that.” She crooked her finger at me, and I inched closer to her. She smelled like citrus and vanilla. Then Dani pressed her lips to my ear, sending chills rushing down my spine. “I want to fucking rip your clothes off and ride you.” Her whisper was breathy and full of desire.
My dick stood straight up. Fucking hell, I wanted her. Maybe a little more wine would push Callie to the back of my mind and appease my guilt. I brought the bottle back to my lips and set it down next to Dani with a loud clank.
Good-bye, guilt.
Hello, Dani.
I took her face in both hands and pressed my lips into hers. She let out a little whimper and slid to the edge of the counter, opening her legs wide. I stepped between her legs, continuing to explore her soft, warm lips. They felt like heaven. She kissed me back like she was hungry and wrapped her legs around my waist.
“What the hell do you have against clothes, Princess?” I slid my hands down her back and gripped her bare thighs. Her little black skirt was pushed up far enough that I could almost see her panties.
“Mmm.” She moaned against my lips and buried her hands in my hair. Then she gave a soft laugh. “I wear clothes, asshole.”
I laughed. “My mistake. I must just imagine you naked all the time.”
“Oh, fuck.” She kissed me harder, pressing her body tightly against mine. With my lower lip between her teeth, she mumbled, “Don’t tease me like that.”
My lips traveled down her neck, and my hands inched further up her thighs. I wanted her tits in my mouth. I wanted to feel how wet her pussy was. Fucking hell. I wanted all of her. I couldn’t fight it anymore.
I pulled my hands out from under her skirt just long enough to yank her little white t-shirt up over her head. Dani unhooked her bra, letting it fall away, and thrust her hips into my erection. I was almost afraid to look down, afraid I’d get lost in my desire. She looked at me with her eyes burning and then pulled my face down to her beautiful, naked tits.
I couldn’t even think straight, but it wasn’t the wine. It was her. It was all Dani. She filled my head with an uncontrollable longing. I took her left nipple gently between my teeth and filled my hand with her right breast. She shuddered and gasped. Fuck, she felt good. I wanted to make her come.
I slid my hand up her skirt and slipped two fingers into her panties. “Oh, fuck!” She moaned, breathing heavily and rocking her hips against my fingers. Dani was so wet for me. I forgot how fucking good a wet pussy felt. I’d deprived myself for so long. Dani was like sweet relief. I found her clit and circled it with my fingers until she was gasping and digging her nails into my back.
“Mmm…” She moaned and threw her head back. I felt her tighten as she climaxed, and my desire exploded. I undid my belt buckle. I had to have her. I had to feel her warm, sweet center all around my cock before I lost my goddamn mind.
I brushed her panties to the side and thrust into her. Fucking hell. I groaned out loud. She felt so good. I never wanted to finish fucking her. I could just stay inside Princess Dani forever. She whimpered and leaned back on my kitchen counter, resting on her elbows. I gripped her hips and pumped into her over and over again, relishing her gasps and sexy moans and the way her tits bounced with every thrust.
I came too soon. I wanted to start again as soon as my orgasm ended. I scooped up half-naked Dani and carried her down the hall to my bedroom.
“Where are we going?” Dani was out of breath.
I pressed my lips to her ear and growled. “I’m not fucking done with you. You just woke me up, and I’ve been fasting for two years. Now, I’m hungry, Dani.”
She smiled and said, “Good. I’m ready to be eaten if you know what I mean.” Dani laughed and looped her arms around my neck.
I pushed open my bedroom door and dropped her in the center of my bed. “You sure you can handle it, Princess?”
Dani laughed and squeezed her perky round breasts. “Can you handle me, jerk?” She bit her lip and then slid her skirt and panties down. Then she spread her legs wide, practically begging me to fuck her again.
No problem.
I spent the next hour grabbing, licking, and sucking on every inch of her delicious body. It felt like every taste of Dani just made me hungrier for her. I couldn’t get enough, and my drunken self freely admitted that it was about more than sex with Princess Dani. I honestly liked her, and she made me feel like I could be happy again.
But as the effects of the alcohol wore off, the guilt slipped back in. Why should I get to move on when Callie couldn’t? When it was my fault that she’d stormed out of the house that day anyway? When it was my fault that she was gone?
I looked over at Dani’s sleeping form next to me. I really fucking liked this girl, but she couldn’t replace Callie. I promised Callie forever, and Dani didn’t deserve to live in anyone’s shadow. I’d have to figure out how to let her down easy in the morning.
18
Dani
I woke up to a splitting headache and a painfully full bladder. “Ugh.” I moaned and sat up. I rubbed my eyes and glanced around, feeling slightly confused. I wasn’t in my bed. Then I spotted Connor next to me. He was sprawled out on his stomach, giving me an enticing view of his sexy naked ass. My eyes widened, and suddenly, the whole night came rushing back.
Connor and I got trashed and then fucked like bunny rabbits. I told him I had a crush on him, like an idiot! Right after he told me about his dead wife! Shit! “Fuck you, drunk Dani!” I hissed under my breath.
I stumbled out of his bed and searched for my clothes. My skirt was in a crumpled ball at the foot of his bed. My panties were nowhere to be found. If memory served correctly, I thought I’d find my bra in his kitchen sink, and my t-shirt should be on the counter.
Connor’s bedroom door creaked as I opened it, and my heart raced when he stirred. I had no idea what to say to him, so I panicked and booked it to his kitchen.
He came out of his bedroom, pulling on a pair of boxer briefs as I lifted my bra out of his kitchen sink. “H-h-h-hey!” I said. “M-morning!”
Connor ran his hands through his hair. I bit my lip and stared hard at those hands. They were all over my body last night, making me feel good in places I didn’t know could feel good! “Good morning,” he said, watching me warily.
I pulled my shirt on and stammered, “I-I have to walk Lizzy. She’s probably f-freaking out!”
Then Connor groaned and said, “We didn’t use condoms last night.”
“It’s f-fine! I have a g-goalie!” I said, referring to my birth control.
Relief spread over Connor’s handsome face. “Oh, okay. Good.” An awkward silence fell over us
, then he said, “So, about last night…”
My heart sank. This was the part where he told me how much he regretted sleeping with me. “Oh my g-g-god. Don’t. You don’t have to say anything.” I shook my head and covered my face with both hands.
“Right. It’s just… I mean, Callie. I’m not ready for anything. You’re great, Dani. I just—”
I held up my hands and cut him off. “P-p-please stop! It was j-just drunk sex! You don’t have to marry me or even d-d-date me! It’s fine! Drunk Dani’s a dumb bitch, so if she said weird shit, please disregard it!” I could feel my cheeks burning, and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.
“So,” Connor folded his arms across his bare chest. “We’re good then?”
“Yup!” I nodded and gave him my best professional smile. “Have a g-g-good one!”
He just stared at me and then nodded slowly. I bit my lip and rushed out of his apartment. This was by far the most awkward morning after I’d ever experienced! Was it my fault or his?
I let myself into my apartment to find Lizzy sprawled right in front of the door. She jumped up when I slid her out of the way, her little stump of a tail wagging furiously. “Hey, girl! I’m so sorry! I left you alone all night!” I sat on the floor in my hallway, letting Lizzy jump all over me and lick my face. Look at that; the little bitch did love me.
“You need a walk, Lizzy?” I stood and grabbed her leash, then caught sight of my reflection in the hallway mirror. “Holy shit.” Dark, black make-up was smeared all around my eyes, and my hair was a tangled mess! No wonder Connor looked at me the way he did! Only a mother could love this face.
I needed to shower and fix my hot mess look, not to mention my bladder felt like it was going to explode, but Lizzy had been alone all night. I’d give her a quick walk, first.
I hurried to walk her around the building, praying to god that Connor wouldn’t come out of his apartment. Drunk sex was rarely a good idea, especially drunk sex with a guy I’d run into frequently. Not to mention, I liked Connor, like, a lot.
But I was just a one-night drunken distraction from the pain of losing the woman he really wanted.
I wrinkled my nose, disgusted with myself. Was I jealous of Callie? Of a dead woman? God, I was pathetic and immature. I rushed Lizzy back up to our apartment.
After a long hot shower, I curled up in my bed and pulled the covers over my head. I felt so unbelievably small. I wanted too many things that weren’t mine. Real acting careers belonged to confident people that could speak without annoying the shit out of everyone.
Connor belonged to Callie — a ghost.
Reality was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was time to stop living with my head in the clouds, thinking I was hot shit. I just wasn’t. I’d call Brandon Financial and accept the job. I’d forget about wanting a boyfriend.
While I was at it, I should probably start up speech therapy again. My stress level had me stuttering all over the place.
◆◆◆
I pulled open my front door at 8:30 am on my first day of work, tugging at the uncomfortable dress shirt I had to wear. It felt suffocating and ugly. I liked flashy statement pieces, and now I had to go and be boring as hell.
Connor’s door opened a moment later. We stared at each other like a couple of deer in headlights before quickly looking away. Five days ago, we were trashed in his kitchen, making each other gasp and moan. For several months before that, we teased the shit out of each other every day! Now, we couldn’t even maintain eye contact.
I flung my bag over my shoulder and marched down the stairs, feeling pissed that Connor was a stupid jerk, but also that he wasn’t a jerk at all.
I walked into my new office building twenty minutes later and felt my soul die a little. The air was like poison here, and I could already tell it was going to suck the life out of me little by little until my eyes looked as dead as everyone else’s.
Hmm, not a bad screenplay idea.
“Danica! Welcome! It’s great to have you!” Sandra gave me a professional smile and reached out to shake my hand.
I smiled back at my new boss and carefully measured my words to avoid stuttering. “Thank you, Sandra. It’s great to be here.” I lied through my goddamn teeth.
Sandra showed me to my desk, introducing all of the other office drones as we passed them. I gave them all polite smiles and sold the lie that I was happy to be there. Of course I did. I was an actor. I was good at pretending and selling lies.
Only I wasn’t an actor anymore.
Now I was just a stuttering receptionist.
I somehow managed to survive the most boring day of my life and called Gia on my way home from work. “G! How’s it going?”
“Hey, Dani.” Gia yawned. “I’m exhausted. There’s still so much work to do in this play! The kids aren’t even close to getting it!” She sighed. “How are you, love?” Gia knew all about the hot as hell drunk sex night with Connor. She even knew that I was into him and felt like shit. She was the only one that knew.
“I’m fine.” I stared at the red traffic light in front of me, waiting for it to turn green.
“Have y’all talked since it happened?” Gia’s voice was soft.
I rolled my eyes. “Nope.” It had now been four solid days since I’d spoken to Connor. The day after our drunken night, we accidentally opened our front doors at the same time, not unlike this morning. I waved. Connor said, “Hey…” and went back inside his apartment.
He regretted sleeping with me so much that he couldn’t even speak to me.
“And how’s the new job?”
I burst out laughing. “My life is shit, Gia. Not to be c-confused with the shit.” I laughed again, so I didn’t cry. “I peaked at twelve years old!”
“Stop it, Dani!” Gia had on her stern drama teacher voice.
“I didn’t call you to bitch about my life. I’m fine. I called to see if you wanted to go out tonight.”
Gia groaned. “I can’t. I’m doing private drama lessons tonight for some rich kids. Maybe you could start doing that, too. Wouldn’t that be better than answering phones at that boring ass financial place?”
I sighed. “Again, with the kids. I’m terrible with kids.” Except for Marshall. He was my little buddy. Also, I didn’t want to tell Gia this part, but I wasn’t sure I was even qualified to teach other people how to act. I didn’t have a drama degree like she did. I didn’t have any recent experience to draw upon, either.
“Okay, girl. If this is what you want to do with your life, then fine. But you’re better than this. I gotta go! Love you!” Gia hung up the phone, and I let out a long breath and tossed my phone back into my bag.
I pulled into my assigned parking stall and climbed out of my car. Connor’s Infiniti wasn’t in his parking spot yet. I hoped he was still at work, saving some family pet, and not on a date.
Connor dating would be the ultimate knife in my heart, like I was good enough for a drunk fuck, but not a date. Like some other girl was enough to make him move on from Callie. He said all that shit about me waking him up, but he was drunk and didn’t mean it. Hell, he probably didn’t even remember saying it.
“G-god, Dani,” I said to myself. “You are such a drama queen.”
I headed up the stairs and let myself into my apartment. Lizzy padded over to greet me. This was the first time I’d left her alone all day, so I wasn’t surprised to see the puddle of urine in the hallway. I sighed. “It’s okay, girl. We’ll get used to this.”
But I didn’t fucking want to get used to this. Was it so wrong to want to enjoy my life?
19
Dani
A few days later, I got a text from Amy during my lunch break. Hi, Dani! It’s Amy! Are we still on for the Children’s Theater tomorrow?
I rested my forehead in my hands and whispered, “Shit!” Then I texted back. Yeah, of course! I’ll see you and Marshall tomorrow at 10!
Please don’t bring Connor, please don’t bring Connor, please don’t bring Co
nnor. But, maybe bring Connor.
Thank you so much! You’re a darling!
Connor and I still weren’t speaking, unless you counted the time he walked into the gym a full hour earlier than he usually went. I’d been making damn sure I didn’t go to the gym anywhere near 8 pm on a weeknight. So really, the awkward encounter was his fault. I’d mumbled, “Sorry,” and rushed out the door, making sure I didn’t accidentally touch him.
Shit. I missed our angry flirting days. I’d give anything to go back to pretending we hated each other.
◆◆◆
I showed up at the Children’s Theater right on time. It smelled like a mixture of hairspray and feet and immediately brought me back to my childhood. Gia was on the stage with a group of kids, physically moving each of them to stand on little red X’s taped to the floor.
I smiled to myself, remembering standing on stages just like this one with Gia. You know, before I got famous.
Suddenly, something life-changing occurred to me. Gia loved acting just as much as I did. Gia dreamed of being in Broadway shows and movies, just like I did.
Then I, the slightly bratty kid with a stutter, got the chance of a lifetime, and she had to sit by and watch.
But instead of getting bitter and giving up, Gia just kept plugging away, doing what she loved. Not only that, but she stuck by me and listened to me whine about my washed-up career.
Holy fuck. At least I got a chance! I was pretty damn lucky and a little bit pathetic to just give up the way I did.
I watched Gia waving her arms around like a crazy person, trying to get the kids to pay attention to her. As I watched her, an overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude for the best friend that stuck by me through thick and thin filled me to bursting. I jogged down the aisle and joined Gia on the stage. I flung my arms around her from behind, and she shrieked, making all the kids laugh. “Hey, love.” She laughed.
“G, you’re the best.” I looked out at the young faces watching us. To them, I said, “She’s the best. Listen to every w-word out of her mouth, and d-don’t g-g-give her any crap!”