by Joan Kilby
One step forward, two steps back.
“What’s that?” Summer asked, pointing to the covered ring that from the aerial view looked like a rectangle and from the side view appeared to be a roof on posts.
Hayley drew breath, blinked. Something else had become crystal clear without her consciously thinking it. “That’s a ring for working with horses.”
“Cool. Horses for Hope?”
She glanced over at Adam and found him watching her. His belief in her had reminded Hayley that her dreams not only counted, but were possible. She didn’t know how she was going to reinstate the program but she had to keep trying.
She smiled at him, full of gratitude. Then she turned to Summer. “Yes. Horses for Hope.”
CHAPTER TEN
AFTER ADAM DROPPED OFF Summer at the bus stop the next day he spent the morning with a volunteer crew helping a rancher replace fencing destroyed during the fires. He’d seen the notice at the distribution center and signed up, not quite knowing what to expect. He’d come away with new blisters on his hands and a deeper appreciation of the sheer amount of work done by people who lived on the land. And he’d made new friends among the crew. Already he was starting to recognize more folks when he walked down the town’s main street.
Back at Timbertop he ate a quick lunch, then fired up AutoCAD to create a set of detailed architectural drawings a builder could work from to construct Hayley’s house.
She had a day off from the café, and although her truck was in the driveway there was no sign of her. She’d probably taken one of the horses out for exercise. As he tapped keystrokes into the computer he found himself listening for the sound of hooves on gravel or her special whistle for Shane.
When Hayley told Summer she was going to try to continue her horse therapy, he’d been surprised but also pleased to think he might have influenced her. She had so much to give, not just her talent with horses but her ability to connect with people.
What was happening with them was less clear-cut. She’d surprised him with that sensational kiss. He’d have happily gone further if Summer hadn’t interrupted them. Once she had, though, he’d quickly shut down and retreated. His reaction had been instinctive but on reflection it wasn’t really surprising.
Summer had been the flotsam tossed around by her parents’ turbulent love lives. He didn’t want to have to explain that he and Hayley were just fooling around. After all, it wasn’t like they could have a lasting relationship. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Hayley, but the fact was he was leaving. And to be honest, he was a little gun-shy.
Finally he heard Hayley return, but it was another twenty minutes before she finished with the horses and came inside. She washed her hands at the kitchen sink. “How was the fencing?”
“Good, although my hands have paid the price.”
“Let’s see.” She walked over and reached for his hands, turning them over to inspect the reddened, blistered palms. “I’ve got some salve. Hang on. I’ll go get it.”
She ran upstairs and returned a moment later, twisting the lid off a metal tin. Adam held out his hands, and with cool fingers Hayley spread soothing cream over the inflamed skin. He watched her face as she worked the cream in. Either she was really absorbed in the task or she was avoiding his gaze. Was she also uncomfortable with where they’d left things last night?
They hadn’t had a moment alone since the kiss, as Summer had become suddenly sociable and hung around until bedtime, chatting to Hayley about dude ranches and riding lessons. Hayley had said good-night first, saying she was tired from being on her feet all day. There’d been no chance to talk privately, much less pursue further intimacy.
“How are the horses?” he asked, avoiding the five-hundred-pound gorilla in the room.
“Blaze is ready to foal anytime. I’m betting she gives birth before another week passes.”
“Summer’s really excited. She’s almost her old self when she’s around the horses.”
Hayley put the tin of salve down and wiped her hands on a clean cloth. “All done.”
“Thanks.” He smiled at her and her gaze skittered away. He couldn’t avoid the subject of them any longer. “Are we good? Yesterday when Summer came in—”
“Hey, no, that was fine. I get it,” Hayley assured him. “It’s way too soon for her to know anything about...anything. Excuse me, I’ll put this away.” Rising abruptly, she ran back upstairs.
So. That had gone well. Not.
He went back to the AutoCAD program, making a few final tweaks on the specs of her house. A few minutes later he became aware of her footsteps again on the stairs and her approach.
She came to look over his shoulder at the plans on the computer. “Am I bothering you?”
“Only in the nicest possible way.” Her soft chuckle next to his ear sounded like a forest stream. He wanted to turn around and take her in his arms. Instead, he said, “I’m working on the kitchen right now. Do you like L-shaped, U-shaped or a galley?”
Hayley had few possessions but he could easily imagine her in her new place. A blue glass vase filled with wildflowers on the windowsill, handmade hooked rugs and distressed furniture with the paint sanded back to reveal the grain of the wood.
“U-shaped. When the house is built I’m going to get all new furniture and the latest in modern appliances,” she said, almost dreamily.
Huh? He twisted to look at her, trying to see past his preconceptions to who she really was. “I took you for a homemade, shabby-chic kind of gal.”
She laughed. “Not in the least. I’m sick of secondhand, worn-out everything. I’m sick of making do. Being here at Timbertop, even for a short time, has made me realize just how tired I am of living tough. I don’t need fancy or expensive things, but I want modern conveniences. I work hard outdoors all day long. I like a bit of comfort when I’m done as much as anyone else.”
“Totally understandable.” This new side of her fascinated him. Yet despite her words, she’d delayed getting material possessions due to pride and a desire to help others before herself. “I’m really pleased you’re going to try to continue your horse therapy.”
“Your drawings inspired me.” After a beat, she added, “Your belief in me was inspiring, too.”
“You’re the one who’s an inspiration.” Their gazes met and held, and for a long moment he was lost in her warm blue eyes.
“And,” she went on, “one of my old clients came into the café yesterday. He’s not doing well. I really want to help him.” She sighed and moved across to the window overlooking the valley. “However, it’s one thing to say I’m going to try again, but I don’t know where to start. Maybe I should hold a bake sale.”
Adam drew in a butler’s pantry—Hayley would need a place to store her army of small appliances. “My boss’s husband writes grant proposals for a living. He mainly targets businesses on behalf of charity organizations. Graham and Lorraine happen to be coming up this weekend. I could ask him to help you.”
“Seriously?” She turned, a slow smile spreading across her face.
He’d give her the moon if he could, just to see that smile. “I can’t promise anything, but it’s worth a try.”
“I honestly don’t know how to thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Did it really matter if they had no future together? How long their relationship lasted was almost irrelevant. He’d been married and miserable and stuck it out for years longer than he should have. Why should he pass up happiness, even if it was fleeting—simply because it was fleeting?
But Hayley had experienced devastating losses. Though she was tough, deep down she was vulnerable. She’d only recently found out her late husband had cheated on her, and Adam knew how painful that was. She needed time to recover. She didn’t need him pressuring her into a relationship she wasn’t ready
for. She’d kissed him, he reminded himself. But she clearly had qualms, too, or she wouldn’t be trying to keep her distance.
On the other hand, the attraction, chemistry, connection—whatever you wanted to call it—between him and Hayley wasn’t going away. It was getting stronger, day by day. Minute by minute.
“What are you thinking?” She was watching him curiously, head tilted, a finger twining through the curling end of her long braid.
“I’m thinking about you. And me. I’d like to kiss you again.” He rose and walked toward her. This could go very wrong...or it could be the start of something really good.
The tip of her tongue slid across her lower lip. “What about Summer?”
“What she doesn’t know won’t affect her.” He wrapped his fingers around hers, tugging her toward him. “As long as we know what we want. And where we stand.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “I know some things I want.”
God, she blew him away. For a woman without a trace of coquetry she was incredibly seductive. “I’m not talking about microwave ovens, Hayley.” With a lazy grin, he drew circles in her palm. “Why did you kiss me yesterday after saying you want to go slow?”
“I couldn’t help myself.” She paused a beat. “Why did you deepen it?”
“Same reason. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He nuzzled her neck as he slipped his other hand around her waist. His lips met the incredibly soft skin behind her ear. “You taste so sweet.”
“Do you want to go for a ride?”
Adam drew back, smiling a little. “Really?”
Realizing what she’d said, she colored and pushed him away. “Not that kind of ride. On horseback. I’d like to show you something.”
“Now?” It was midafternoon. He had work to do, if not on Hayley’s house, then on the Shanghai apartments.
“Why not?” She tugged on his hand. “How often do you play hooky in the middle of the week?”
Well, Diane had often complained that he spent too much time at the office. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s go.”
* * *
HAYLEY THREW HERSELF into the familiar routine of bridling and saddling the horses. Getting out of the house was a good idea. She’d been one touch, one kiss, away from melting into Adam’s embrace, damn the consequences.
There was the smart thing to do—stay away from him. And then there was what she wanted to do—jump him every chance she got.
But she knew she was vulnerable, and that wasn’t a good start to any relationship. She was fresh from Leif’s latest betrayal. It didn’t matter that he was dead and his affair had been nearly a year ago. It hurt as much as if it had happened two days ago. Part of her wanted to shun men for the next hundred years. Part of her wanted to bolster her self-esteem by sleeping with the first man that came along.
That would be wrong. She wouldn’t use Adam. Unless he wanted to be used...
She threw the saddle over Asha’s back and ran the girth strap through the ring, tightening it. The horse sidestepped away. “Please, Asha, don’t fight me today. You need exercise.”
She wished she knew why Leif had cheated on her. Had he simply lost interest? Wasn’t she pretty enough, or fun enough, or thin enough or... What?
Adam was a catch. In the city he’d have his pick of glossy, rich women. So what was he doing with her? Was it simply that he was stuck out here with no other female companionship?
“You’re going to squeeze that poor horse’s belly in two.”
Startled, she glanced up. Adam was at the fence, watching her with a bemused expression. She eased off the girth a little and tied off the strap, straightened the stirrup, then turned to him.
“Do you have a girlfriend? I should’ve asked before I kissed you last night. I did that without thinking and then you kissed me back....”
“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I wouldn’t hit on another woman if I did. I wouldn’t do that to her or you.”
Leif had charmed and teased her out of her suspicions. Adam was different. He didn’t try to make light of her concerns.
“Okay, then.” She smiled out of relief. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, we’d better get a move on if we want to get our ride in before it rains.”
“What are you talking about? The sky’s clear blue.”
“Look at the hills to the west. Clouds are building.”
Hayley quickly saddled Sergeant and then held the bridle while Adam mounted. She lengthened the stirrups by two notches and eyed him with approval as he adjusted his reins. He’d said he’d ridden on his grandfather’s farm into his teen years, so he was an experienced rider—but she was still responsible.
“Okay, you’re good to go.” She slapped Sergeant’s neck affectionately. “Don’t take any guff from this fella. He’s a bit ornery but he’s got pep.”
Hayley put a boot toe in the stirrup and swung up and onto Asha. The gray mare danced sideways as she settled into the saddle and gathered up the reins. She glanced back at Adam. Yep, he sat a horse real nice; confident but relaxed. In a saddle he seemed more her kind of man than he did in a business suit. “Ready?”
“For anything.” A smile lurked in his dark eyes that sent a tingle straight through her. She couldn’t keep teasing him.
She set off at a walk. At the end of the driveway, she crossed the paved road and onto a narrow dirt track through burned forest. Blackened, limbless trunks emerged like headstones from the scorched earth. Asha shied at a rabbit and Hayley patted her shoulder, talking to her. Her horse never used to spook at things before the fires.
“This isn’t the most picturesque route,” Adam commented.
“Just wait. It gets better.”
Evidence of the fire made him uncomfortable, she got that. But if on the slim chance he changed his mind and decided to stay in Hope Mountain for Summer’s sake, he would have to get used to it. Catastrophic fires didn’t occur every year—or even every fifty years. But they did happen. Fire was a fact of the Australian landscape and played an important role in the ecology of the bush. Every schoolkid knew that.
She twisted in her saddle to speak to Adam. “Did Diane and Summer leave during the bushfires?”
“I tried to get Diane to come to Melbourne the day before. The forecast was for extreme fire danger. She had some appointment that afternoon she couldn’t miss. The next day she dithered around packing stuff. By the time she was ready, the roads were closed.”
That had happened to a few folk in Hope Mountain. Not everyone who’d waited to evacuate had been as lucky as Diane and Summer. What kind of appointment had kept her there? Hayley wondered. Had she had a date with Leif?
Adam had gone quiet. Was he wondering the same thing?
She was tired of second-guessing and rehashing old conversations and behavior for clues. But the past gnawed at her like a sore tooth. She’d made up her mind to put it behind her. Why couldn’t she stick to that?
Impatient with herself, she squeezed her calves and Asha broke into a trot. “Up for a canter?”
Adam nodded, seemingly as eager as she to leave the blackened forest and the dark thoughts in their dust. Hayley leaned forward and loosened the reins, pressing her heels into Asha’s flanks.
Asha steadily increased her speed until she was galloping flat out and tears were streaming from the corners of Hayley’s eyes. She glanced back at Adam. Arabs were known for speed, and Sergeant trailed by three lengths but his competitive spirit spurred him on, as did Adam’s frequent cries of “Gee up.”
When the trail began to narrow Hayley reined in Asha, slowing to a trot, then a walk.
Adam drew alongside, patting Sergeant’s neck. “Good boy. He’s got pep, all right. That was awesome.”
“See, I told you it would get better.” Hayley nodded at their surroundings. The mer
ely scorched trees had green leaves sprouting directly from the trunks and from the larger branches. Pockets of grass and green shoots emerged from the dirt where the wallabies and wombats hadn’t eaten them down.
“Already there’s lots of new growth,” she said. “In time, it will recover completely. There are seeds in the ground, just waiting for more rain and sun to shoot upward.”
“Are you trying to convince me that Hope Mountain is a good place to live?” Adam said.
“That’s something you have to decide for yourself. I’m showing you why I love living here.” Seeing the regrowth always made her feel optimistic in a way that nothing else could, even all the rebuilding going on in town. If the bush could survive the worst that could be thrown at it, how could she do less?
“Mort came out the other day to take photos,” Adam said. “He’s preparing a listing, just waiting for my word to put Timbertop on the market. I thought I should tell you.”
“That’s cool.” Was he warning her not to get too invested in him? It might be too late. Already she cared more than she wanted to, more than she knew was good for her.
She turned off the track onto a wildlife trail and went deeper into the forest. The horses walked single file. All was silent but for the twitter of birds, the wind in the upper boughs of the trees and the muffled thuds of hooves. The trail led down a slope. Burned trees and scrubby undergrowth gave way to mountain ash, straight and tall as the mast of a sailing schooner with smooth silver bark. In the understory, luxuriant tree ferns shaded the creek that bubbled quietly between mossy banks.
This was her special place. She’d found it on horseback as a child riding out from her grandparents’ house. Ever since then she came here when she wanted to be alone, or needed the healing quiet of the deep woods. Platypuses could be found in the cool, tumbling waters, and if she sat very still, wallabies came out to nibble the tender leaves.
Hayley followed the creek until they came to a natural clearing. She let the horses drink from the creek, then looped the reins over their necks and turned them loose. Adam took a thermos out of the saddlebag and spread a blanket on the bank. Dappled light filtered through the green leaves and made patterns on the backs of Adam’s hands as he poured coffee.