Grace Restored

by Toni Shiloh

  He kneeled down and felt Rebekah’s forehead. “Rachel says you don’t feel well. Does your tummy hurt?”

  Bekah’s bottom lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears. “Huwt bad, Papa.”

  A heavy sigh escaped. “I’m sorry, Jellybean.”

  She reached for him and he picked her up, hugging her close. Although he knew getting the vomit out of their clothes would be a hassle, what mattered most was the comfort he could offer her.

  If only Charlene were here.

  Rebekah jerked in his arms and warm liquid slid down his chest. Guess you shouldn’t have picked her up.

  She looked up at him, her ebony eyes shining with unshed tears as her bottom lip quivered. “Sowy, Papa.”

  “It’s okay, Jellybean. It’ll clean.” He wasn’t so sure it would, but she didn’t need to worry about that.

  Guy put her down and turned on the bath water. The tub had been cleaned yesterday and it looked like Bekah’s current state had managed to skip the tub. Life with twins was never boring, just...exhausting. He hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since before Charlene died. He rubbed his chest, hoping to ease the ache.

  “Ahhh,” he looked down at his hand covered in vomit. How could he forget that quickly she’d messed his shirt up? “Okay, I’ll be right back. Papa needs a new shirt. Do not play in the water, okay?”

  The girls nodded.

  Once again, thoughts of hiring a live-in nanny surfaced. It would be so much easier if he could have someone around to help twenty-four seven. Nana Baker was a tremendous help, but she couldn’t be there for the tummy aches or the hair disasters. Then again, she always fixed their hair when he brought them over. But she only watched them during the week. Eventually, he would need to give his deputy a break and take a weekend shift.

  But who would watch the girls? He rubbed his eyes, letting out a shout as vomit burned them.

  It was going to be another long day.

  Chapter Four

  Michelle swiped the alarm off on her iPhone. For once, she didn’t mind its nonstop ringing because today was Friday. The only downside, she didn’t have a date to look forward to. It had been awhile since she’d been in a relationship. Now Fridays had become synonymous with Bible study. Who knew she’d look forward to it so much?

  She shook her head ruefully. The thought of her going to a Bible study would have been laughable a few years ago. Who was she kidding? Just last year she’d been against all things religion based. Yet somehow, someway, God’s word had begun tugging at her.

  Evan had been the one to lead the studies, but Chloe volunteered to lead tonight’s. Michelle couldn’t wait to see what her friend had for them. Chloe was the only one in the group who had been a believer from a young age. She never turned her back and always seemed to have this perpetual hope. Sometimes, Michelle wished Chloe was a little less perfect.

  Like the other day.

  The image of her friend pouring out her heart echoed in her mind. Chloe’s grief had been so real, tangible even, and the ache of it all remained with her still. So that wasn’t a good way to be less perfect. She didn’t want to see her friend in pain. Michelle swallowed, thinking of what Chloe’s mother had intended for her.

  Was Chloe’s mother still alive or had drugs taken her life? How did people survive life’s onslaught?

  “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

  She first heard that Scripture at church a few weeks ago. Funny how they sometimes popped into her mind. She shrugged and got out of bed. Guess that’s what happens once you started hanging around religious folk.

  After showering and dressing, Michelle padded down the hallway in her stocking feet. Jo always laughed whenever she saw her in stockings, but she couldn’t help it. Her mother had always worn them. It brought the memory of her closer to her heart. Besides, they do make me look sharp.

  “Not if you’re wearing a pantsuit.”

  Then why would I wear stockings?

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “Girl, you have got to get a man. Maybe then you’d stop talking to yourself.”

  She whirled around and glared at Jo. What was it with people who were in love? They weren’t satisfied until the whole world followed suit. Her face scrunched into a scowl. “I don’t need a man.”

  “Humph. I’m pretty sure talking to yourself is a sign of loneliness. If you weren’t lonely, then you wouldn’t talk to yourself.” Jo stared at her.

  Michelle turned back around, waiting for the coffee maker to work its magic. Never again, will I be so desperate to have a man.

  Jo bumped her hip. “Come on, Chelle. You know I’m just messing with you, right?”

  She sighed and shrugged. “I know. I don’t know why it bothers me, but it does.” Liar.

  “My bad. I’ll stop.” Jo leaned against the counter.

  Michelle knew her friend watched her. The tingling feeling pricked her senses, but she refused to meet Jo’s gaze.

  “What’s going on with you? First the tears and now you’re ignoring me.”

  “Leave it alone, Jo.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? How ‘bout because I said so.”

  “No, can do. Remember that talk you gave me about bottling stuff up? Well, you’re about to blow so I’m trying to prevent the catastrophe that will ensue.”

  She rolled her eyes. The girl could be so trying sometimes. “Whatever. I’m not going to blow.” Finally, Michelle turned toward Jo.

  “I can’t remember the last time you gave me the silent treatment, rolled your eyes, and talked to yourself all in the span of a few minutes.” Jo looked at her, squinting her eyes. She put her hand against Michelle’s forehead. “You’re not sick are you? Maybe it’s all mental?”

  “Fine! It’s Guy.” She grabbed the coffee mug and stalked off toward the backyard. Maybe now she could drink her coffee in peace. The yard had become her sanctuary. Enclosed by the Freedom Lake forest, with blooming trees, it looked like something out of a fairy tale.

  “Oh, no you don’t, Miss Thang. How are you going to stomp off after dropping a bomb like that? Since when does he bother you?”

  Why did I start this? “Since high school.”

  “All boys bothered you in high school, Chelly. You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

  Michelle bit her lip. What do I do? What do I say?

  The truth.

  She blanched. He couldn’t really mean the whole truth? Refusing to look at Jo, she dropped a tidbit. “We dated our senior year.”

  “What?” Jo’s mouth dropped open as she flopped into the white Adirondack chair.

  “It started after homecoming. The team had just beat Adonel High. He kissed me after the game out of joy and celebration. And I may have kissed him back. The next thing I know, we’re dating.”

  She wanted to laugh at the shock on Jo’s face, except the memory caused an ache and longing for what could have been. During their relationship, she had dreamed often of going to college together, marrying, and living happily ever after. Who knew it would go awry so soon? So fast. Now she couldn’t look at Guy without wanting to punch him in the face.

  Michelle took a sip of her coffee letting the blonde roast warm her insides.

  “So let me get this straight. You and Guy dated. Kissed even. And you never told anyone? Not Chloe, your mom, definitely not me, no one?”

  “No one. You’re the first person I’ve told, JoJo.”

  “Holy cow. I can’t believe it. So that’s why you frown every time you see him?”

  She heaved a sigh, nodding. Among other things.

  “Do you still like him?”

  Her heart thudded. Of course, Jo would ask the one question she had been dodging. How could she like the man who ditched her when their relationship became complicated? When it was no longer about late-night meetings or stolen kisses.

  When she needed him, he had bailed. Left. Withou
t as much as a Dear John letter...or was that Jane? It didn’t matter. No one had known of his plans to go to college out of state. It had quickly become apparent she wasn’t a part of his future. So why should she want him in hers?

  “Michelle,” Jo called out to her softly.

  “No, I don’t still like him.” She cleared her throat. “I feel sorry for him and that’s about all.”

  She looked at Jo and met her gaze head on. Daring, hoping, praying she only saw a resolute ‘no’ and not the whispered longing in her heart. Because even though Guy had broken her eighteen-year old heart, it still wanted to connect with his.

  THE KNOCK AT THE DOOR interrupted Guy’s administrative duties. He looked up from the computer screen. “Come in.”

  For once he was thankful for the interruption. He hated paperwork. Always had. If only, being Sheriff got him out of it. But the mayor and district attorney demanded all paperwork to be screened and verified by the sheriff and not a lower ranking officer. He sighed.

  Holly opened the door and sent him a smile. “Mr. Carter is here to see you.”

  “Thanks, Holly.”

  He rose and came around his desk. Evan walked in, gripping his forearm crutches. No matter how bad his life was, at least Guy had all his limbs. He couldn’t even imagine how Evan dealt with missing a leg.

  “Hey man, how’s it going?” Guy reached out and grasped Evan’s hand in the childhood handshake they had created.

  “Good, good. Julie, my prosthetist, may have found a prosthetic that could work for me. It’s supposed to be hypoallergenic and they make it in a sterile environment specific for each person.”

  “Word?” Guy sat on the edge of his desk. Relief flooded through him. If Evan could walk again life would be so much better for his friend.

  What would make your life better? He blinked as an image of Michelle flashed through his mind.

  Time to change his thoughts. “When will you be fitted for it?”

  “It should be ready in a few weeks. So until then these babies are my friend.” Evan held up one of the crutches.

  “I’m happy for you, man.”

  “Thanks, G.”

  He glanced at the clock again. “Wait, why aren’t you coaching?”

  “Spring Break.”

  “Oh.” Shouldn’t he know that?

  “How are you? The girls?”

  Guy groaned. “They hit me back to back with the stomach flu.” He laughed at the face Evan made. “Exactly how I felt. Poor Bekah upchucked all over my clothes.”

  Evan joined in the laughter. “I can’t even imagine.” Laughter faded and his smile dimmed. “You’re a great dad.”

  Guy looked away. He hadn’t always been. For a few months after Charlene died, he’d hated his girls. Hated them with a passion that shamed him. The memories still made him sick to his stomach.

  Clearing his throat, he sat back down in his chair. “So what brings you downtown?”

  Evan looked down and took a breath. He looked back up and stared right through him.

  Guy’s stomach tightened and nausea rose. He knew what Evan was going to say. “Please don’t. We’re having a pleasant conversation. Do not ruin it by bringing Him up.”

  “G,” his friend said softly, without censure. “You need His help. And if you won’t accept it, at least start with your friends, man. We’re meeting at Darryl’s place tonight at seven. Jo and I will be there, Chloe, Michelle, and of course, Darryl. You don’t have to believe what we say, but at least be around people who care for you.”

  A lump of anger formed, threatening to burn his soul and ruin his friendship. The last time Evan had asked, had been the day they discovered his allergic reaction to the prosthetic material. Evan had been rushed to the hospital and the conversation effectively stalled. He didn’t want to hurt Evan’s feelings, but he was so tired of people bringing up God. “Look, I know you mean well, Ev—”

  “Of course, you know I mean well. Tell me this, G. If the roles were reversed, can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t encourage me to turn back to God?”

  His throat closed up. Life before Charlene seemed so vague, so surreal that he couldn’t even process what Evan had said.

  “Don’t you remember how you felt when you and Charlene joined your church in Virginia? Don’t you remember calling me and telling me I needed to go on a regular basis?”

  Guy squeezed his eyes shut. Charlene had loved their church. They had been welcomed with open arms. Supported when Charlene had been confined to bed rest. They had sent meals and company to see them through.

  And after.

  After, when Charlene was gone, and he had no idea what to do with the girls, they had been there. “I remember,” he cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact his voice was breaking under the pressure of difficult memories.

  “Then you know why I’m asking you to join us. Hey, even Michelle joined us. She only came the first time to disprove any argument for God that we made. Now she’s slowly coming around.”

  At the sound of her name his heart picked up speed. When he had decided to move back to Freedom Lake, he had no idea Michelle had moved back as well. If so, he would have thought harder about the move. But Virginia was filled with memories of Charlene and they haunted him. Haunted his every waking moment and into the night.

  “Why would she believe in God? Everyone she’s loved has been ripped from her.” The last words ended on a whisper.

  Had he done that to her? Could it have been possible she wanted more than just a high-school romance? The thought paralyzed him. He had never seen himself as a person who had caused destruction, but the hate he had felt for a few months after Charlene died spoke otherwise. And if he was right, if Michelle really wanted more from their relationship, then he may have hurt another person.

  Have I always been so self-absorbed?

  “She thought the same way, but over time, she’s starting to see God’s glory.”

  Did he owe her an apology? He swallowed realizing the lump had gained in proportion. Guy stared at his friend, realizing Evan was still talking. He knew Evan was trying to push but not too hard.

  “If I go, will you stop asking?”

  A slow grin made its way across his friend’s face. “If you go, I won’t ask you to go again. But...if you go and you can’t refute God’s truth, then you have to come back.”

  Guy stared at Evan. He drove a hard bargain. But you don’t believe in God anymore, so what do you have to lose?

  “I’ll have to ask Nana Baker if she can watch the girls a little longer.”

  “I have a feeling she’ll be on board.” He saluted with his crutch. “See you at seven, G.”

  Guy hopped out of his chair and raced toward the door to open it. “See you, Ev.” The words were short, clipped, and resigned.

  He could only hope the Bible study would be short and he wouldn’t lose his temper. He hated to see people so blinded by their belief in fairy tales.

  Chapter Five

  The breeze caressed her skin and her red maxi dress swished against her softly as Michelle walked up the sidewalk. It was a perfect spring night. We should have Bible study on the back porch. No way she wanted to be cooped up on a night like this.

  Michelle couldn’t believe how far along she’d come. It seemed like yesterday she had followed Jo here intent on calling foul on every statement and Scripture. Now, her soul seemed to thirst for the knowledge she would gain from their studies. Only she wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone.

  Darryl opened the door with a smile which quickly turned to a frown.

  She chuckled. “Sorry, maybe she’s late.” Darryl had it bad for Chloe. Yet for some reason, he hadn’t asked her out.

  “She’s never late.”

  “First time for everything.” Michelle walked passed him, laughing softly. Maybe she should convince Chloe to put the man out of his misery and go on a date with him.

  Jo came out of the kitchen and grinned when she saw her. “Hey Chelle, I thought
for sure it was Chloe.” They hugged.

  “So did Darryl. He looked like a puppy, who just got kicked, with that sad look he gave me.” She looked around. “Where’s Evan?”

  “Running a little bit behind.”

  “Who’s driving him?” She tried to lower her voice back to the normal tone instead of the high-pitch worry that laced it. Evan didn’t like to drive without the use of a prosthetic.

  “Guy.”

  “Who?” She did not say what I thought she did.

  “Guy is picking him up. He promised Evan he’d come to the group tonight.”

  “Why?” She folded her arms, vaguely noticing the chill bumps claiming space on her skin. I knew I should have brought a jacket. The short sleeves were no match for the shivers which made themselves known at the sound of his name.

  Jo moved closer, lowering her voice. “Evan really wants him to turn back to God.” Jo searched her gaze. “You don’t begrudge him that do you? Didn’t you say you feel sorry for him?”

  Before she could answer, Chloe’s hello and Darryl’s reply took her attention.

  She turned and watched as Chloe stammered then picked up speed in her conversation while Darryl watched in awe. “When will those two ever go out?”

  “Never,” Jo replied. “I’ve never seen two people who clearly like each other hmm and haw around an issue.”

  “Maybe we should set them up.”

  Jo snorted. “Chloe looks all sweet like a little black fairy, but that girl will go full out Tinkerbell if we set her up. I did it once. Never again.”

  Michelle’s laugh escaped before she tempered it. It was a full out guffaw complete with an unladylike snort. The image of Chloe mad did resemble the Peter Pan fairy.

  “Fine then. We won’t set her up.” She shook her head as Chloe and Darryl clammed up but continued staring at one another. “But how are we going to get them together?”

  Jo laid a hand on her shoulder. “Let God handle that. Otherwise, it won’t work.”

  She nodded her head in concession. She knew what happened when you weren’t ready for a relationship. Only God knew when those two would be ready.