Dr. Spindler rose to his feet. “I’ll leave you three alone for a bit,” he said, directing his comment to Steve. “If it’s any consolation, he didn’t suffer. From what the paramedics reported, I doubt he even knew what hit him.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Steve said.
Amber burst into tears, and Michelle embraced her, careful not to squeeze her right side. “Let’s sit down,” she said softly as she led the girl back to the bed.
Amber sunk down and rocked back and forth, cradling her right arm to her chest. “He can’t be gone. He can’t be,” she sobbed.
Michelle’s arm remained draped over Amber’s shoulder. With her free hand, she gently pulled Amber’s head onto her shoulder and said softly, “It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.” But in her heart she wondered if things would ever be okay for Amber again. Her mind searched for answers. Why God? Hasn’t she already been through enough?
As she glanced up to Steve, he said, “I think I’ll go get your grandfather.”
Michelle nodded. “Good idea,” she whispered in return.
CHAPTER TWELVE
By the time Steve returned with Grandpa Phil, Michelle had convinced Amber to have something to eat, and she was nibbling on a sandwich as they sat together in the cafeteria.
“Steve,” Michelle called out when she spotted the two men looking around the expansive eating area.
He glanced over and nodded, then pointed them out to Phil.
Michelle watched them weave between the tables, noticing her grandfather reaching out to several tables along the way as if to keep his balance.
“Mind if I sit here?” Grandpa asked Amber, gesturing to the seat beside her.
She nodded her consent, and he eased himself down. Steve took the chair beside Michelle.
“Amber, we thought it might help if you talked to my grandfather,” Michelle began. “He really helped me when my dad was in the hospital.”
Amber just stared at the floor.
Phil made eye contact with Michelle and tipped his head toward the door. Michelle nodded. “Steve and I are going to find out if they’ve reached Chad’s parents,” she said, placing her hand on Amber’s shoulder.
Amber looked up for a moment. “Okay,” she said softly. Then she returned her gaze to the linoleum at her feet.
When they returned fifteen minutes later, Phil was sitting alone.
“Where’s Amber?” Michelle asked.
“She went to the ladies’ room,” he replied. “That girl’s got a load of hurt in her heart. It’s going to take a long time for her to process this loss.”
Michelle sat down beside him. “Were you able to talk to her?” she asked.
“A little. But Amber’s in a frame of mind where she has to process her anger toward God first, before she can begin to understand how much He loves her. From her perspective, He’s never been on her side, watching out for her needs. She blames Him for her mother’s breakdown, her time in foster care, getting pregnant with Caleb and having to give him up, and now this.”
“I hope she can come to see things differently,” Michelle replied. “Most of what has happened in her life was the result of poor choices made by her parents and by Amber herself. It would really help if she could lean hard on God right now.”
He reached out and took her hand. “In time, sweetheart. But we have to give Amber the space she needs to process everything. At this point, we need to put her into God’s hands and trust Him to reach her deepest needs.”
“So what do we do?” she asked.
“We pray. We listen and love her right where she is with all her anger and confusion. God will do the rest.” Patting Michelle’s hand as he released it, he pushed to a standing position. “I think this old fellow had better find a restroom, too.”
“I’ll show you the way,” Steve offered. Turning to Michelle, he added, “Maybe we’d better plan on taking Amber home with us tonight.”
“I agree,” she replied. “I’ll wait here.”
When Amber returned a few minutes later, Michelle told her they wanted her to come home with them for the night. Amber nodded. She looked so forlorn and lost. Reaching out, Michelle drew her into her arms and held her close as they both cried over a life cut short far too soon.
Ben’s car was in the driveway as they pulled in. “I called him to come pick up Caleb for the night,” Steve explained. “Amber can sleep in his room.”
“Thanks, honey,” Michelle replied softly. Amber clung to her as they walked toward the house.
As Steve opened the front door, they met Ben and Caleb about to leave. Caleb had a backpack slung over his shoulder and a child’s sleeping bag tucked under his arm. He looked worried when he saw Amber. “Are you okay?” he asked in a sweet voice.
She looked at him and tried to smile through her tears. “I’ll be fine. Have fun at your friends’ house.”
“Did you get your toothbrush?” Michelle asked him.
“Yep. I got it, Mom.” He patted the outer pocket of the pack.
“I’ll walk out with you guys,” Steve offered.
Michelle squatted down to eye level with Caleb. “Give me a hug, tiger,” she said.
The little boy threw his arms around her neck and squeezed tight. Then he pulled back. “See you tomorrow!” he said with a smile. Taking his father’s hand, they headed out to the car.
“Bye,” Grandpa Phil called after them.
“Bye, Gramps!” Caleb replied, turning to look over his shoulder at them.
Closing the door, Michelle looked at Amber. “Are you hungry? I can fix you something.”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“Why don’t you try to eat something,” Grandpa suggested. “There’s some birthday cake left.”
Michelle looked at him and caught his knowing wink.
Amber sighed. “Okay. I guess.”
“I’ll serve some up for both of you,” Sheila suggested from the living room. She stood and walked to the kitchen, trailed by Grandpa Phil and Amber.
“Make that three, Mom,” Michelle called after her.
Just then Madison’s voice came from upstairs. “Mom? Is that you?”
“Down here,” Michelle replied.
She could hear the sound of Madison’s feet as she headed for the stairs. A moment later their daughter joined her in the living room. “I changed the sheets on Caleb’s bed,” she said. “It’s all ready for Amber. Dad told me she’s staying for the night.”
“Thanks, honey. I really appreciate that.”
“Is she okay, Mom? What happened to her boyfriend?”
“Dad didn’t explain any of that to you?”
“No. He just said they were in an accident, and you would tell me about it when you got home. He said Caleb was going over to Ben and Kelly’s, and Amber was spending the night here.”
As Michelle was about to explain, Steve walked back in the door. “Ben said they can keep Caleb as long as we need them to,” he told Michelle. Then turning to Madison, he asked, “Did you get the room ready for Amber?”
“Yeah. It’s all set, Dad. Mom was just going to tell me about her boyfriend. Is he going to be okay?”
“Let’s go up to your room and talk,” Steve said. He glanced over at Michelle, and she nodded.
“Sure, Dad,” Madison replied, a worried look on her face.
As the two of them walked upstairs, Michelle said a silent prayer. Give him the words to say, God. Help him explain this to Maddie in a way she can handle. Then she went to join Amber and her grandfather in the kitchen.
After Amber was finally settled into Caleb’s bed for the night, Michelle retrieved her cell phone from her purse and sat down on the couch to call Amber’s mom. The last time she’d seen Stacy was at the hospital the day they took Caleb home from the NICU.
Shrugging off the image, she punched Stacy’s number into her phone.
She answered immediately. “Hello?”
“Stacy?”
�
��Yes. Who is this?”
“Stacy, it’s Michelle Baron.”
“Is Amber okay? I’ve been worried sick.”
“We brought her home with us. She’s staying here tonight.”
“What about Chad?”
“He didn’t make it, Stacy. They were broadsided, and he took the full impact of the blow. It caused a head trauma. Some kind of bleeding in the brain. They did everything they could to try to save him, but the bleeding was too extensive. He never regained consciousness.”
“Oh my God. Should I come out?” her voice was panicky.
“It might be a good idea. We can talk more in the morning. In the meantime, you should call your friend—who they were staying with—and let her know what’s happened.”
“Yeah. Right. Okay, I’ll do that. Can I talk to Amber?”
“She just went to bed. I can go see if she’s still awake if you want. She was pretty wiped out.”
“No, don’t bother her. You’re sure she’s okay, though, right? She didn’t have any injuries or anything?”
“Just some bruises to her arm. Other than that, she’s fine.”
“I’d better fly out there. Are Chad’s parents coming tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. They hadn’t reached them yet when we left the hospital.”
“Okay. I’ll try to call them, too, as soon as we hang up. And I’ll talk to you in the morning about coming out there.”
“That sounds good. Try not to worry about Amber. She’ll be okay. I promise we’ll take good care of her.”
Michelle could hear Stacy’s muffled voice explaining to someone else what was going on. “Yeah, okay. Thanks so much for everything, Michelle. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
Amber lay in Caleb’s bed holding tight to a teddy bear she found on the shelf.
What is happening to me? Why does everything always end up so messed up? God must hate me. Maybe He just doesn’t care about me at all.
Fine. I can make it on my own. I always do. So what if my life sucks. Who cares anymore? Now that Chad’s gone, all I have left is Caleb. And he doesn’t even know I’m his mom.
At least not yet.
She closed her eyes and tried to remember what her little boy looked like when he was a newborn. An image popped into her mind—a tiny, scrunched up face, round like the moon with puffy eyelids closed tight. And then they opened. And his blue eyes gazed up at her, searching her face and studying every feature.
“It’s me. I’m your mom,” she whispered in the darkness.
Holding onto that image, she drifted off to sleep, clutching his little bear against her chest.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
When Amber woke up the next morning, it took her a minute to remember where she was. Sitting up on Caleb’s bed, she ran her hand over the dinosaur print comforter and then looked around at the toys scattered on the floor. A baseball mitt, a basketball, and a red remote control car seemed to have been shoved to the corner.
Reminds me of Jack’s room, she thought to herself. Her younger brother always had some sport going on in his life. Soccer, baseball, and basketball—he played them all.
Not her boyfriends, though. She’d always picked guys who seemed to be on the fringe. First Adam, Caleb’s dad. What a loser he turned out to be. But Chad—he was different. Not a jock, but not a jerk either.
Images of the night before rushed into her mind. The argument in the car, the screeching brakes and crunching metal. And the sights and sounds of the emergency room. She remembered the doctor telling her about Chad, and how he hadn’t made it.
It seemed so surreal. Like a bad dream. She picked up the teddy bear and felt a strange numbness. Why aren’t I crying? What’s the matter with me? I love Chad, and now I’ll never see him again. But all she could feel was a dead weight in her chest. Nothing but heaviness and exhaustion.
Time passed as she sat holding the bear and waiting for some kind of emotion. But none came.
She stood and walked to the window. It was a sunny day outside. Not that common for June in this seaside Oregon community. She remembered it was usually foggy or even drizzly. But not today. God didn’t care that Chad was dead. Everything was sunny and fine with Him.
A soft knock on the door drew her attention back to the room. “Yeah?” she said.
The door cracked open, and Madison was standing there. “Mom said to check on you and see if you wanted some breakfast. She’s making fried egg sandwiches for everyone.”
“I’m not really hungry. I’ll be down in a minute,” Amber replied.
“She also asked me to give you this,” Madison said, reaching in and handing her a duffle bag. “Your mom’s friend brought it by. She thought you might need a change of clothes. You can use my bathroom to take a shower if you want.”
“That’s okay. Thanks,” Amber said as she took the bag. “I’ll just get changed and come down.”
After Madison closed the door, Amber unzipped the bag and got out a pair of shorts and a shirt. She changed out of the clothes she’d slept in and made the bed. Then she forced herself downstairs. The smell of breakfast cooking made her stomach churn.
When she walked into the kitchen, Steve, Grandpa Phil, and an elderly woman she guessed was Grandpa Phil’s wife were sitting at the table finishing their breakfast. Michelle was busy frying eggs, and her mother was making toast.
“Good morning, Amber,” Michelle said. “Did you sleep okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Your breakfast is about ready. Have a seat.”
Steve shifted his plate and coffee cup over a little. “You can sit here,” he said, gesturing to the seat beside him. “Would you like some coffee?”
“That would be great,” she replied.
Scooting his chair back, Steve walked over to the coffee maker, grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured her a cup. “Cream or sugar?”
“Black’s fine,” she said, reaching for it. “Thanks.”
“I spoke with your mother last night,” Michelle said as she handed Amber a plate with her egg sandwich on it. “She’s planning to fly out today.”
“Oh,” Amber said. “She doesn’t have to do that. I’m okay.” She tried to keep her stomach in check as she glanced down at the food.
Michelle looked at her with a puzzled expression. “I think she wants to be here for you.”
“Do you think I could just stay here with you guys for a few days?” Amber asked, moving the plate a little back.
Suddenly the room got very quiet, and she could feel all eyes on her. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked,” she said. “It’s just hard thinking of going home without Chad.” She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Pushing away from the table, she left the room.
Michelle followed her out to the living room. “Amber, sit down. Let’s talk,” she said softly, gesturing to the couch.
As Amber sank down into the soft cushion, her stomach clenched in a tight spasm. It was hard to swallow or take a breath.
Michelle sat down beside her and gently placed her hand on Amber’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
And then the dam broke. Amber began to sob. She cried so hard that she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. She grabbed her mouth and ran into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before she began heaving.
Michelle was right there with her, a hand on her back and saying, “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”
Finally the waves of nausea stopped, and Amber was able to get her breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she heard herself say.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s okay.” Michelle brushed Amber’s hair away from her face and pulled her into her arms.
“I can’t go home right now. I just can’t,” she said. “How can I go back to that apartment without Chad? What will I do? Where will I go?”
Michelle just held her and said, “We’ll figure this out. Everything will be okay. I’ll talk to Steve, and maybe you can stay here for a
few days. If your mom can come over the weekend, that’ll give us a little time to help you figure things out.”
Relief swept over Amber, and she felt exhausted to the core of her being. At least she’d be okay for the next five days. Then she’d have to figure out what to do with the rest of her life.
“I think I’d like to go back upstairs and lie down for a little while,” she said to Michelle.
“That’s fine. Take all the time you need. I’ll call your mom and let her know you’ll be staying here for a few more days.”
Michelle watched Amber climb the stairs, praying silently for her as she went to lie down. Then she returned to the kitchen. Explaining Amber’s request to everyone, Steve agreed to allow her to stay until the weekend.
“We should leave,” Joan said to Phil.
But Michelle quickly interjected, “I wish you’d stay. I think you could be a good counselor to Amber, Grandpa.”
“How about this, honey?” Sheila asked. “Your grandparents and I can get a room at the inn by the lighthouse for a couple of nights. I’ve always wanted to stay there. That way we won’t be underfoot all day.”
“And it’ll give everyone more sleeping space,” Joan added.
Michelle had to agree. “We are a little short on beds, and I hate to impose on Ben and Kelly for that many days.”
“It’s settled then,” Sheila said. “Madison can have her room back, and Caleb can sleep on her pull out bed until Amber leaves.”
“Okay, Mom. If you’re sure you want to do this.”
“Positive. We’ll get out of your hair, but we’ll be close at hand for whatever you need.”
“I’ll give them a call and book a couple of rooms for you,” Steve offered.
“We can share a room, Steve, if they have any with two queens.” Joan said, her frugal side showing.
“The rooms are on me,” he replied. “If they have two vacancies, I’ll grab both. If not, we’ll see if they have the two queens.” He picked up the phone, called the inn, and was able to secure two rooms side by side.
Around the Bend (Sandy Cove Series Book 4) Page 9