“It’s not like she’s asking to have Caleb back,” she added. “Maybe it would be good for him to hear how much his birth mother loved him and why she gave him up. He’s at an age where I think he can begin to understand this.”
He raised his eyebrows, skeptically.
She looked away and stared off into space for a few moments. “You know what?”
“What?”
“I think I’ll talk to Grandpa about it first and see what he says. After all, he was the one who talked to her about regrets. If he thinks it’s a good idea, then we’ll let her tell Caleb. Okay?”
“Okay,” he replied. Reaching to pull her into an embrace, he noticed a tear escaping one of her eyes. “Hey there,” he said gently, brushing it away with his thumb. “Either way, everything’s going to be fine. Nothing’s been decided yet. Let’s just sleep on it. Tomorrow you can discuss it with your grandfather.”
She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. As he pulled her close, he silently prayed for wisdom and for the young girl asleep in their son’s room.
Michelle slipped out of bed early the next morning, hoping to find Grandpa Phil in his favorite early morning spot at the kitchen table with his Bible and coffee. Since Steve would be taking them to the airport after breakfast this morning, they’d come back from the inn the night before. Amber and Madison were sleeping in Caleb’s room, and Caleb had returned to Ben and Kelly’s house for one more night.
Wrapping her robe around her, she quietly walked past the kids’ rooms and padded down the stairs.
As she peeked into the kitchen, a smile spread across her face. There he was, Bible open as he leaned over it, communing with God.
“Grandpa?” she said in a near whisper.
He turned to face her. “Well, good morning, princess,” he said with a warm smile.
Smiling, she leaned down and hugged him.
“Care to join me?” he asked as he patted her hand on his shoulder.
“I’d love to!” She retrieved a mug from the cupboard and poured herself a cup of coffee, savoring the fragrant aroma as she lifted the cup to her mouth. “Yum,” she murmured. “Thanks for making a fresh pot.”
“You know me. Gotta have a jump start for these old bones,” he replied with a wink. “So what’s got you up so early on a summer day?”
“Actually, I was hoping to catch you down here before everyone else gets up,” she began.
“Well have a seat honey, and let’s talk,” he offered, reaching over and pulling out the chair next to him.
Sitting beside him, she cupped her hands around the steaming mug and began, “So Amber told me about your talk.”
He nodded. “She’s got a lot to think through. She’s not quite ready for the answers I could give her, but she’s at least open to talking about God and asking questions.”
“She said you talked about regrets and the importance of living life without them.”
“That was part of the discussion. What I was trying to help her see is that God can give her a fresh start no matter how many regrets she may have about the past.”
“Yeah.” Michelle paused, searching for the words to say next.
“You seem troubled, honey,” he said, leaning in.
“I am, Gramps. Steve and I have to make a decision about Amber.”
“What kind of decision?”
“She wants to tell Caleb she’s his birth mother. She says she has regrets about things she didn’t tell Chad, and she doesn’t want that to happen with Caleb.”
“I see.”
“She wants him to know that she only gave him up because she loved him so much, not because she didn’t want him or didn’t care about him.”
“Haven’t you already told him that about his birth mother, generally speaking, I mean?” he asked.
“Yes. But Amber wants him to know that she’s the one who had to make that decision and how proud she is of him. That kind of thing.” Michelle reached up and began twisting the frayed strand of hair that was hidden at the nape of her neck. Then she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand away.
“You seem really worried, Michelle,” Grandpa replied as he reached over and gently placed his hand on hers. “What exactly is it that you are worried about?”
She sat back in her chair, careful not to pull her hand away from his. Taking a deep breath, she said. “I guess a lot of things. I’m worried that Caleb will think we lied to him since we didn’t tell him from the start that she was his mom. I’m afraid that somehow after he knows who she is it will change everything for us.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’ll get all excited and want to go visit her in Arizona or something. Or maybe he’ll stop thinking of me as his real mom. At least until now, I’m the only mom he’s ever known. He doesn’t have another person or face in mind because even though he knows he’s adopted, it’s always just been more of an abstract concept. Nothing his little six-year-old mind really thought about.”
“I can see why all those questions might spark some concern for you, sweetheart. But the bottom line is this—Who gave you Caleb? And I don’t mean Amber.”
She studied his face. Every line and wrinkle spelled wisdom and faith. “God. Right?”
“That’s how I see it,” he replied. “So if God placed him here in this family, don’t you think He’s already covered your concerns about all this? I mean, you intended to tell Caleb who his birth mother was eventually, right?”
“Yeah, if he ever asked or the topic came up. But he just seems so young right now. I’m afraid it’s not the right time for him.”
“But you’re concerned about Amber, too?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I am, Grandpa. That year she was in my class and got pregnant with him, well, somehow that girl found her way into this mother’s heart,” she replied, holding her hand up to her chest.
“So you’ve got two adopted kids to consider here,” he observed. “One by law and both by love.”
How does he know this stuff so clearly? “I never thought of it that way, but yeah, you’re right.”
He nodded and offered her a gentle smile. “Tough decision.”
“So what would you do?” she asked.
“Hmmm. Well, I can’t know for sure since I’m not in your shoes, but here’s how I see it from my perspective,” he began. “Caleb is a happy, secure kid who knows he’s very loved, and that he is a big part of this family. I think no matter what you decide, he will be fine. Sure, he may have some curiosity about Amber and might even want to keep in touch with her through letters and pictures. But the core of who Caleb is and the God who gave him to you will settle the truth that he is a Baron, not a Gamble. His family is here with you and Steve and Madison.
“Amber, on the other hand, has had her life rocked so deeply so many times that she struggles to even know where she belongs or who God is. She’s seen her parents make some pretty bad choices, and she’s lived with many regrets of her own. Now she’s beginning to realize that there are literally no guarantees in life, and she wants to make things right with regard to Caleb. For her, that means making sure he knows she gave him to your family out of love for him and the desire to do what would be in his best interests.”
“So, you think I should let her tell him?” Michelle asked.
“I think you should not let fear make this decision for you. I’d never advise you one way or the other on this without urging you to talk it over with God first. But after you do, if you feel He is giving the green light, I’d give Amber the chance to do this, honey.”
She thought about it and nodded, trying to silence the fear that was still knocking on the door of her heart.
“I’ll pray for you and Steve to have God’s answer for this, but you’ve got to talk to Him yourself, too. Just lay it all out before Him the way you did with me. I promise He’ll give you the answer you’re seeking.”
“Okay,” she replied. Then she added, “I’m going to miss you so
much when you go home, Gramps. Wish you and Grandma could stay longer.”
“Me, too, honey. But I’ve got to get back to my little flock,” he said with a wink. “And once your mother gets settled into her new place up here, we’ll be back for another visit.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” she said.
As she was about to stand up, he suggested, “Let’s say a prayer together for your situation.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “Thanks.” And they joined hands as Phil lifted his granddaughter’s concerns to the One he knew held her answers.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
While Steve took Michelle’s grandparents to the airport, Michelle picked up Caleb and Logan and headed for the beach. Amber decided to join them at Madison’s urging. The two girls walked along the shore while the boys threw the Frisbee.
Gazing out over the sea, Michelle began to pray. Lord, I’m scared. I don’t know what to do about Amber. Should I let her tell Caleb she’s his mom, or should I tell her no? I understand why she wants to do it, but it scares me to think of Caleb knowing who she really is. What if it changes how he feels about me?
She waited and listened to the sound of the pounding surf. Then a verse popped into her mind. Romans 8:28 ~ And we know He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
Watching Amber and Madison walking, talking, and laughing together, she realized how very much she loved Amber and wanted to give her the peace in her heart she so desired. I’ll do it, Lord. And I’ll trust You with the outcome.
By the time they got home, Steve was pulling in the driveway from the airport. “Where’ve you guys been?” he asked as they piled out of Michelle’s van.
“The beach!” Caleb said with a grin. “Come on, Logan, let’s go get my remote control car. It’s really cool. Racer red.”
As the boys took off for the house, Michelle asked, “Did you drop Mom back off at the inn?”
“Yeah. She’s determined to stay there until Amber leaves.”
Michelle sighed. “I hate for her to feel pushed out like that.”
“I don’t think she feels pushed out, honey. She loves the place, and it’s only for a couple of days.”
“Yeah, okay. Why don’t you and Maddie see what we’ve got in the fridge for lunch,” she said. “I want to talk to Amber for a minute.”
Steve looked at her with raised eyebrows, and she met his gaze with a nod. Without a word, she could tell he knew. “Sure. Come on, pumpkin,” he said to their daughter. “Let’s go raid the refrigerator.”
“Oh, Dad!” Maddie said, rolling her eyes at his nickname. In that instant she looked so much more like the middle-schoolers Michelle taught than the little girl who’d been their first baby.
She watched as Steve draped an arm over their daughter’s shoulder. “What? I can’t call you pumpkin anymore?” he asked in an exaggeratedly disappointed voice.
“I’m not a little girl, Dad,” she said, glancing at him with a warning look but not pulling away.
“Now you’re making me feel like an old man,” he replied.
They continued to banter back and forth as they walked into the house.
Once they were gone, Michelle turned to Amber. “So I’ve been thinking about your request to tell Caleb who you are.”
“And?”
“And, after a lot of thought and prayer, I’ve decided it’s okay for you to tell him.”
Amber’s face lit up, and she reached out to hug Michelle. “Thank you so much! You don’t know what this means to me.” She held tightly to Michelle as they embraced. Then she asked, “Can I tell him today? My parents will be coming in just a couple of days. I’d really like to tell him as soon as possible.”
Her excitement was contagious, and in spite of her reservations, Michelle began feeling happy about her decision. “Okay. But Logan will be here for another hour. It’ll have to wait until after he leaves.”
“Of course,” Amber agreed. Then she shook her head in amazement. “Thanks again. I really mean it,” she said, and the two of them hugged one more time before getting out of the car.
As they joined the others in the kitchen, Michelle pulled Steve aside. “Can we talk?”
He nodded then turned to the kids. “You guys go ahead and get started with lunch. Mom and I will be back in a minute.” He took Michelle’s hand and led her into the other room. “So you told her?”
“Yeah. She’s planning to talk to him after Logan goes home.”
“Okay. But we need to be part of that conversation,” he said. “Caleb needs to hear it from all of us and understand how much we wanted him to be part of this family. I don’t want him getting confused about where he belongs.”
Michelle could feel a wave of relief wash over her spirit. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” She gave him a hug. “You know what? I’m so glad I married you,” she added.
Steve looked a little surprised. “Where did that come from?” he asked, drawing her close again.
“I was really nervous about Amber talking to him, but now that you’ve said it needs to be the three of us, it makes perfect sense. Somehow I was picturing her telling him by herself.”
“No way,” he replied. “I would never go along with that.”
“I’m glad. I feel so much better about all of us sitting down together. Do you think Madison should be part of the conversation?”
He paused for a moment. “I think maybe just the four of us for now. We can explain it to her later.”
“Yeah. Okay. I know she’s been wanting to hang out with Lucy. Maybe we can drop her off when we take Logan home.”
“Good idea.”
When they got back into the kitchen, the kids were all eating sandwiches and chips. “Hey, Maddie, do you want me to drop you off to hang out with Lucy when I take Logan home?” Steve asked.
“Sure! I’ll text her and see if she’s free.”
“Can’t Logan stay longer, Mom?” Caleb asked. “Please?”
“Not today, sport,” Steve interjected. “Maybe tomorrow.”
The boys both looked disappointed, but Michelle noticed Amber’s knowing smile.
After everyone finished eating, Steve took off with Madison, Logan, and Caleb, giving Michelle a chance to talk to Amber before the big meeting with Caleb.
“Steve and I want to be present when you talk to Caleb,” she told her. Immediately she noticed Amber’s face drop.
“Okay,” she replied, a forced smile replacing the genuine one from a moment earlier.
“We need to be there to make sure Caleb doesn’t misunderstand anything. After all, we are his parents, Amber. He needs to know we are always and forever his mom and dad.” She studied Amber for a reaction but couldn’t read her thoughts.
“Sure. I get it.”
“Are you nervous?” Michelle asked.
“Kinda.”
“If you’re having second thoughts, we can always put this off until a later date.”
“No. No, I want to do it now.”
“Alright. As soon as Steve and Caleb get back, we’ll sit down together,” Michelle promised.
“Good,” she replied, standing up and clearing her place at the table.
A few minutes later, Caleb came bounding into the kitchen with Steve on his tail. “Wanna go throw the baseball with me?” he asked Amber.
“Hold on, there, buddy,” Steve said. “Your mom and Amber and I want to talk to you about something first.”
Caleb stopped in his tracks. “Are you mad at me?”
“Not at all. We just have something to tell you,” Michelle replied. She could feel her own anxiety rising as she watched Caleb’s puzzled expression.
“Let’s go into the living room,” Steve suggested. He rested his hand on Caleb’s shoulder as he guided him out of the kitchen and over to the couch. Sitting on one end, Steve patted the cushion beside him. “Have a seat, sport.”
Michelle sat on the other sid
e of Caleb, and Amber took a seat in the rocking chair across from them.
Steve immediately took the lead in the discussion. “Caleb, you remember when we told you you’re adopted?”
“Yeah. You guys picked me to be your kid.” He looked very nervous.
“That’s right,” Michelle said. “We very much wanted you to be our little boy,” she said, trying to keep her voice level and calm.
“We’ve never talked to you about the person who gave birth to you,” Steve added.
“You told me she was someone you knew,” the little boy said seriously.
“That’s right,” Steve replied.
Michelle took Caleb’s hand, and he looked up at her. Then she turned to the girl in the rocker. “Amber?”
Amber smiled nervously, clasping her hands in her lap. “Caleb, I was the one they were talking about. I gave you to them to be their little boy.” Tears welled up in her eyes.
“You did?” Caleb asked, amazement in his voice.
She nodded. “Yes. I did.”
“So I was the baby you were talking about when you said you had to give one up for adoption?”
“Yeah.” Amber cleared her throat and brushed away a stray tear. “I want you to know that I didn’t give you up because I didn’t love you. It’s just that I was so young, and I didn’t know what else to do.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Your mom was really good to me, and she cared about me, even though I had a lot of problems.”
Pausing again, she glanced over at Michelle, and Michelle’s heart swelled with maternal love.
“Every time I looked at your mother, I wished I had a mom like her.”
Now Michelle thought she might start to cry. Glancing at Caleb, she saw him processing all this new information. Then she looked at Steve, who was watching Amber closely.
“When I found out I was going to have a baby,” Amber continued, “I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom. So I decided to ask your mom if she would consider adopting you. And she said yes.”
Caleb looked up at Michelle, seeming uncertain how to respond. Michelle squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.
Around the Bend (Sandy Cove Series Book 4) Page 11