Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set

by Martha Sweeney

  One Hundred Forty Two

  The next few days I’m waiting impatiently for information from Joe and his father with regards to what I found out about Hammer Corporation. The longer this takes, the more I’m thinking that what I found is having a hard time being proven wrong. In the meantime, my neurotic need for control turns to anything I can control. This ends up becoming more research on pregnancy - all while trying to see if Joe is plotting a proposal and helping get the New York penthouse in order. Yes, I caved and worked with Anna several times on furniture and other things.

  The days move slow even with everything that needs to be done. The last bits of furniture from my parents’ place have been removed — Joe doesn’t think I notice when a few items were not loaded on the truck that is meant for donations. The pieces he kept mysteriously show up at the new place or are shipped back to California. The Nelson’s have all of their final stuff packed and on its way to the West Coast with them flying out tomorrow to move into my old apartment. It’s amazing how quickly movers can get everything packed and moved — Joe hired at least twenty men for each property to handle everything.

  Brenda and Gwen follow me around for at least half of each day as I make lists of things that need to be done or researched more. They assist with answering questions, but their answers always lead to me asking more questions. Both of them are friendly and patient with not just my inquiries, but all of the craziness of my life as Joe and I juggle everything that needs to be done. Thank God I don’t need to focus on Naturally Me or Raven Media, but then again that could help calm me.

  With it being the beginning of May, Jared and Nathan have finally picked a date for their wedding. They were hesitant at first to have it early, claiming they didn’t want to be in the way of when Maggie and I were due, nor did they want to wait too long afterward just in case either of us got pregnant again — I did not find the humor in their comments. After checking everyone’s schedule, and I mean everyone with regards to our immediate family, they’ve decided to have their wedding in January. They’re going to have it on the same day that Nathan proposed to Jared, making it a winter wedding in New York since Nathan will have another runway show just before that date.

  Tonight, I’m sitting in one of the guest rooms of Joe’s, I mean our new place in Manhattan with Leslie and Brittany. The three of us are hanging out for the weekend. With it being our second night together, we’re listening to more than watching a movie while we sit in our pajamas and do each other’s nails.

  “Emma?” Brittany calls.

  “Hmm?” I return.

  “Do you miss them?” Brittany asks. “You know . . . your parents?”

  I take a moment to think about my response. “Yes,” I admit. “But, it’s different.”

  “What do you mean?” Leslie searches.

  “I’m not sure how to explain it,” I begin. “Do I miss them? Yes. But, I’ve been able to let go . . . let go of the pain, yet still have the memories.”

  “Does it bother you that you don’t have the pain?” Brittany asks.

  Smiling, I reply, “Do you have pain when you try to remember yours?”

  “No,” Leslie admits calmly.

  “You wouldn’t remember them,” Brittany says to her sister. “So, it would be hard for you too.”

  “I’ve felt pain before,” Leslie expands. “Wondering what it would have been like . . . with them. Did they love us? Why they let us go?”

  “Can I ask you girls something?” I say.

  They nod.

  “Do you blame yourselves for them not being in your life?”

  “I used to,” Brittany admits.

  “Me too,” Leslie states. “But, it’s hard to, especially since I don’t have a point of reference for them.”

  “What changed for you, Brittany?” I ask.

  “You,” Brittany answers.

  “Me?” I reply in surprise.

  “Yes,” Brittany confirms. “I used to blame them for putting us with Dean and Amber. But . . . then you came along and saved us.”

  “I was only around for two months,” I remind.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Brittany replies. “Leslie and I were praying for something different . . . better, but we didn’t know what. If you didn’t come along, we wouldn’t have mom and dad.”

  My heart melts hearing her call Martin and Celia mom and dad.

  “We feel safe . . . loved with them,” Leslie shares.

  “We never felt that before with anyone . . . other than you,” Brittany adds.

  I lower my head, smiling at their kind words as a tear gathers in my eye.

  “Do you blame yourself, Emma?” Leslie asks.

  “I used to . . . for a very long time,” I share.

  “What changed?” Brittany inquires.

  “Me,” I state truthfully.

  They look at me, waiting for an explanation.

  “When I left you girls and went to California . . . I turned into a really dark person for a long time,” I share. “I did things . . . many things that most people would regret. But, I don’t regret the things that happened . . . the things that I did. Not anymore.” I pause, collecting my thoughts.

  “What do you mean?” Brittany asks.

  “I’m at peace with everything that has happened in my life. The good and the bad . . . which I don’t count as bad . . . just different. Those things that were different . . . the ones that I didn’t like . . . gave me opportunities to learn more about myself. Learn about who I was, who I wanted to be and what I wanted in my life. I was so upset about losing my family that I didn’t realize until this past year that I’ve recreated it and made it even better than I could have ever imagined.”

  “Did it change . . . you change, when you met Joe?”

  “He was an influencing factor,” I agree with a smile.

  “How did you let go?” Brittany searches.

  “I realized that any pain, and any happiness, that exists in my life was, is, my own doing. By holding onto those negative emotions and blaming everyone else, I wasn’t really letting myself grow as a person. Allowing my parents to be free . . . forgiving them and forgiving myself has drastically changed so much in my life.”

  “Would you have done anything different?” Leslie questions.

  “No,” I confess. “All of it has made me who I am today. It took me a while to learn this lesson and I’m grateful that I’ve learned it. I am in charge. I am responsible for anything and everything that happens in my life. The stuff around me, including the people in it, influence me as I influence them, but ultimately . . . my choices . . . my thoughts, my feelings and my actions are my responsibility. The consequences for those choices are solely mine.”

  “You’re going to be a good mom,” Leslie says suddenly.

  “Definitely,” Brittany agrees.

  “Thanks, girls,” I accept, believing in myself just a little bit more knowing they believe in me.

  “Hi, ladies,” Joe greets from the doorway.

  My head jerks around to find him. “Hi,” I return.

  “Hi,” Brittany and Leslie reply with a sing-song tone in their voice.

  “Anna told me that dinner’s almost ready,” Joe shares.

  “Awesome,” Britany exclaims, getting up from the floor. “I’m starving.”

  “Me too,” states Leslie, rising to her feet.

  The girls disappear past Joe, probably heading out to the kitchen to see if Anna needs help. They helped her last night when they were really hungry.

  Joe offers his hand to assist me to stand. “Hey, beautiful,” he hums, kissing me.

  “Hey,” I return.

  Joe kneels in front of me after several more kisses. “Hey little prince,” he greets my belly.

  “Or princess,” I add.

  “Or princess,” Joe chuckles. “Daddy’s home.”

  “We should get out there,” I encourage. “If dinner is ready, you know they won’t wait for us. They’re like teenage boys when it comes
to food.”

  “I know,” Joe agrees with a chuckle. “How was your girl time?”

  “Good,” I confirm.

  “Good,” Joe replies. “Any more information from Jared on the wedding yet?”

  “Nope,” I return. “They won’t tell me much . . . still not convinced that I won’t try to take on wedding projects. Any news about our . . . challenge?”

  “It’s not looking good,” Joe shares.

  When he doesn’t say anything else, I give him a look to coax more information from him, but he gives me nothing in return.

  One Hundred Forty Three

  We’re back in California and Joe has yet to share much concerning what’s going on with Mr. Ward’s company and I know that Joe and his father are trying to finalize some facts before the three of us and Mrs. Covelli sit down and discuss the topic. I know they’ll talk to me when everything’s confirmed, and they don’t want to burden me with little details in an effort to minimize the stress of being pregnant, but what they don’t realize is that my stress goes up when I don’t know anything.

  “Joe,” I call as I zip up my dress.

  We’re scheduled to have dinner with the family at Maggie’s tonight.

  “Yes, beautiful,” he returns as he buttons up his shirt.

  I pause for a moment, trying to figure out how I want to present my thoughts.

  “What’s wrong, Emma?” Joe asks when I take longer than he expects. “Is everything okay? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

  “What? Oh. Yes,” I confirm. “I . . . I just wanted to ask you something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “What’s going on with Hammer Corporation? I know that you don’t want me to worry or be stressed out, but not knowing anything is worse, making me more stressed than knowing,” I blurt quickly.

  Joe studies me for a moment. “You’re right.”

  My head tilts to the side, a little surprised by his answer.

  “I know that about you and I should have said something sooner,” he states. “What you saw with the financials is indeed accurate.” He pauses, waiting for my response.

  I nod.

  “And the environmental concerns are just as bad,” he shares. “Dad and I have been discussing it at length about what we want to do, how we want to handle it . . . the challenge is in more than one of Mr. Ward’s companies.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask. “They’re my shares and I’m the person who is deciding whether to sell them or not, regardless if your father does business with Mr. Ward, you know that I can’t . . . .”

  “I know,” Joe interrupts.

  “I’m not selling them because I feel threatened by him or his daughter,” I continue. “It’s about morals and principles.”

  “I know,” Joe repeats. “That’s what dad and I are trying to figure out.”

  “What are you two trying to figure out?” I press, realizing there’s more to his words.

  “You’re not the only one with a large stock interest in the Hammer Corporation,” he shares.

  “Oh,” I reply, realizing the depth of our conversation.

  “Regardless of the fact that our families have done business for years, dad and I both agree that the matter needs to be resolved. We’re hoping to be able to talk to Mr. Ward privately first to address the concerns, but . . .” Joe stops and takes a deep breath.

  “But, you don’t think Mr. Ward will respond positively?” I state more than question.

  “Exactly,” Joe confirms. “Dad would rather the matter be addressed by him directly, giving Mr. Ward a chance to explain, if he knows, and to correct the issue regardless if he does or not.”

  “That makes sense,” I agree. A thought pops into my head. “What would happen if Mr. Ward doesn’t?”

  The look in Joe’s eye confirms my suspicion before he even opens his mouth to reply.

  “Not good,” I present.

  “Correct,” Joe huffs. “My father and I have already agreed, if Mr. Ward, regardless if he knew about these challenges, chooses to not take any action to correct them, then all of our actions will have a monumental impact on the value of Hammer Corporation. We’d rather not have to do that, but dad and I agree with you.”

  “Why would us selling our shares change the value of the stock?” I ask.

  Joe takes a deep breath. “Because between dad, mom, you and me, we have a significant amount.”

  “Oh,” I gasp, comprehending the impact that would have for not only Hammer Corporation, but what it could possibly do to the rest of Ward empire and their family. “Do you think it would be better for all of us to talk to Mr. Ward together, or just your father?”

  “Dad wants to get him alone to chat and see how things go,” Joe returns.

  My head bobs in agreement. “If he’s open to fixing things, what’s the timeline your dad was thinking to offer?”

  “Depends,” Joe begins, “we don’t want it to be too short of a timeframe, but we also don’t want it to be too long.”

  “Okay,” I say. “Thank you.”

  With a sweet, relaxed smile, Joe replies, “ You’re welcome, beautiful. And, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

  “It’s okay,” I state.

  “No,” Joe argues. “We’re a team and we’ve always done best together when we talk. I should have known it would be easier for you to handle this, I just didn’t want to pile on more things to distract you with the baby and all.”

  “I know,” I soothe, moving closer to him.

  “Please, forgive me, beautiful.”

  With a wicked grin, I reply, “I forgive you . . . this time. Just don’t let it happen again.”

  “Is that a threat?” Joe searches with a widening smile.

  “Yes,” I confirm happily.

  “Maybe we should do some shopping tonight for more toys when we get back from dinner,” Joe mentions.

  My eyebrows raise in shock. “This coming from the man who thinks he’ll hurt the baby?”

  “I’m getting better with it,” Joe defends.

  “I know,” I encourage.

  “Do we have time for a quickie?” Joe questions with his boyish grin.

  “For you? Always,” I return playfully.

  One Hundred Forty Four

  As the days pass, Brenda and Gwen do a pretty good job keeping Joe and me busy without feeling overwhelmed. There are fewer people in our home, allowing us to be able to focus more easily on a number of things. Joe and I have been spending some time with our friends and family, and I’ve been spending the rest of my time, when I’m not with Joe, pretty much with Maggie. She calms me and it’s actually comforting to hear her share and answer questions about being pregnant.

  Jared and Nathan have announced that they’re keeping the wedding small and are planning everything themselves, claiming that the rest of us just need to show up on the day. They’ve also begun redecorating one of the spare rooms in the condo for the babies. Yes, seriously. They’ve bought two cribs, a bunch of toys, a dressing table and so much more. Maggie’s and my baby’s are loved — they’ll be spoiled, but definitely loved.

  I’ve begun showing — the bump is officially here. Maggie seems to get bigger each time I see her, which is every few days. Today, Maggie secretly plots an outing with me, leading everyone on that we’re going baby shopping. Joe tries to come along, but I tell him that we need some girl time, promising to take some photos of anything that I might be interested in. We’ve started buying some stuff for the baby, leaving everything in his office while we have yet to find a place that makes us both feel like we’re home.

  For two hours, Maggie and I honestly shop, getting her and Henry a bunch more items that they really don't need, just to cover for what we have planned after lunch. We take a drive over to Kim’s house and the three of us solidify my plan before Jade gets home from school.

  By the late afternoon, Anna manages to get Joe out of the penthouse as I requested, with the aid of Jared and Nathan. Other t
han Maggie and Kim, Jared and Nathan are the only other people who are aware of what I’ve been plotting — they don’t know everything, but they know enough. With the penthouse empty, other than Sadie and myself, I get things in order. Jared texts me updates about every half hour of their status.

  While I’m in the kitchen, putting the final touches on dessert as dinner stays warm in the oven, I faintly hear Joe call for me and Anna. I stay where I am with my back to the kitchen door, waiting to share his surprise. Joe calls out my name and Anna’s several more times as I eagerly wait for him to find me.

  Joe calls, his voice getting louder as he hits the doorway. “Anna have you seen Em . . . .”

  Silence falls upon the kitchen — I know he has found me.

  I turn my head to face him, knowing that I’ve gotten his complete attention.

  “Don’t move,” Joe commands.

  My head shifts back a little further until we make eye contact.

  “Don’t . . . move,” Joe repeats, this time in a calmer tone. “For the love of God, beautiful. Whatever you do . . . do not move . . . not yet.”

  I can’t help but smile at his words. “Why?” I ask, acting innocently.

  The sound of a few pictures being taken from his phone is heard.

  I face back to the last few cupcakes that need icing. “What for?” I tease.

  “God, you’re so fucking hot right now,” Joe lets out on a strained breath before he takes several more pictures. “Please . . . just let me enjoy the site of you for another moment.”

  “I hope that those photos are for your eyes only,” I comment.

  “Definitely,” Joe confirms, moving closer to me after about another minute of silence. His warm hands cup my bare ass and slide around onto my hips, under the apron I have on — I’m not wearing anything else but the apron and a pair of high heels.

  “Is this what you were planning with Maggie?” he asks into my ear as he presses his groin into my ass.

  “Maggie didn’t know everything,” I state. “Nor did Jared or Nathan.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yep,” I confirm.

  Joe’s hands slide around to my belly, hugging me and the baby from behind for a minute before allowing his fingers to find my sex. “So, Jared knew?”