Tell Me Why

by Sydney Snow

  I nodded. “Things are looking good so far. I plan on asking her to move in with me as soon as she graduates.”

  “Wow, a college graduate. That’s impressive.”

  I laughed. “No, high school actually, but she’s eighteen already.”

  She raised her eyes in surprise. “How’d a high school girl manage to land you?” Attempt number three: Make the current girlfriend seem less than deserving. I knew this game so well.

  “She’s been one of my best friends almost my whole life. At some point it developed into something else. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but I’m crazy in love with her.”

  “That’s awesome. Hey, you know what? I remembered I’m supposed to meet a friend somewhere. I guess I’ll pay for this after all.”

  Game. Set. Match. A perverse sense of satisfaction washed over me. I enjoyed knocking her down a notch for some reason, probably because of her veiled attempt to discredit Anna.

  “No problem,” I replied, taking her credit card and discreetly glancing at the name. Erika Lindsey. I rang up the transaction and slid the receipt over for her to sign.

  “It was nice seeing you again, Erika.” Not. “Hope you have a terrific night.”

  “You too.” She finished signing. “Good luck with the new girlfriend.”

  “Thanks.” I didn’t bother watching her leave, instead taking her nearly untouched drink and disposing of it. The door opened again and a bunch of rowdy college age guys entered, heckling Erika as they passed by.

  “Leaving already?” one of them called. “I just got here, baby.”

  She laughed, glancing briefly toward me. “I’m supposed to go meet a friend.”

  “Is your friend a girl?” his friend asked.

  “And is she as hot as you?” Another piped up.

  Erika blushed and nodded her head.

  “Call her and tell her to come meet you here.”

  Erika glanced at me again and I simply smiled, turning my back to her, but continuing to watch the scene unfold in the mirror behind the shelves of bottles.

  “Okay,” she replied, reaching to dig into her small handbag for her phone.

  Her reply was met with whoops of glee and, before long, she was seated on a lap and one of the preppies was rubbing a hand against her bare leg. It looked like Erika was going to get lucky after all; and, with the attention she was getting from the group, I was betting it would be more than once.

  The door opened again and I glanced over, surprised to see Anna walking in. She was dressed in a pair of faded, skin tight, shredded jeans. Her black shirt, bunched tight around her tiny waist but loose on the top, dipped casually off one shoulder, revealing a creamy expanse of skin. Small mismatched black leather bands were jumbled together on her wrists, matching her black leather shoes. Swaying loosely down her back, her long hair looked sleek and perfect. Even her dark eyes sparkled in the dim light. A small smile curved her lips as she noticed me and headed my way. It amazed me how, without even trying, she managed to light the entire place up.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” one of the guys with Erika called out. “You want to join us?”

  Anna paused, glancing over her shoulder. “No, thank you.” She responded politely.

  Immediately, I stepped around the bar, going to meet her. “Sorry. This girl’s with me,” I said, staking my claim on her as I dropped my mouth to hers for a quick kiss. “What are you doing here?” I asked, noticing over Anna’s shoulder that Erika was staring at us with a frown. Grabbing Anna’s hand, I led her away to the bar. “I’ll be right with you guys,” I called to the group at the table.

  “Take your time,” the guy with Erika on his lap said.

  “You sounded down when we spoke on the phone earlier, so I thought I’d come see if I could lift your spirits,” Anna said.

  “Well, it worked,” I bent to kiss her lips lightly again. “How long can you stay?”

  “As long as you want—or at least until the last ferry. I do have school tomorrow.”

  Hugging her close to me, I whispered in her ear. “I say you stay all night and catch the early morning ferry back home for school.”

  Laughing against my shirt, she shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  Kissing the top of her hair, I pulled away and made my way around the bar. “I can think of plenty of things you could do with me,” I said as she took a seat on the barstool across from me.

  She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m sure you can.”

  “Don’t roll your eyes at me. You know you’d enjoy every bit of it.” I smiled wickedly at her.

  “Do I now? You know I don’t really have anything to compare it to. How will I know if you’re any good?”

  The smile dropped from my face. “You’ll know. I promise,” I replied seriously.

  She grew serious too. “And how will I know if I’m any good?”

  Leaning over the bar, I stared her in the eyes. “You don’t need to worry. I’ll teach you everything you could possibly want to know.”

  “Okay,” she replied breathlessly, a blush stealing heavily across her face.

  “Miss?” I said to her as I straightened. “I need to see your ID.”

  She laughed and reached into her pocket, sliding her fake ID across the bar toward me. Picking it up, I pretended to study it carefully, gazing back and forth between her and the picture.

  “Damn, you’re beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?” She blushed again, and I handed it back to her. “Think about what you’re having while I go check on these guys over at the table. You and I have some things to talk about. Be right back.”

  She nodded and I made my way over to the table. “What’s everyone having tonight?”

  “Miller.”

  “Lots of Miller.” Another added.

  “From the tap.”

  “A pitcher of Miller then?” I asked and everyone nodded except for Erika. “What about you?” I asked.

  “I’ll stick with the cranberry and vodka, for now,” she replied.

  “Put it on my tab,” the guy underneath her offered.

  “Got it. Anything else I can get you guys?”

  “Any other hot babes that come in here.” One of them chuckled.

  Laughing, I nodded. “I’ll be sure to let any I see know that you’re interested.”

  “Even that one?” The guy nodded toward Anna.

  Forcing my smile to remain relaxed, I shook my head. “Sorry, I don’t share. She’s all mine.”

  “Well, damn. I figured it didn’t hurt to ask.”

  Turning away, I went back to the bar to fill their drinks.

  “Are you all right?” Anna asked with a puzzled look. “You seem angry.”

  “Those guys asked me if they could party with you. I’m trying to refrain from the urge to beat them all to a pulp.”

  A loud giggle escaped her. “Pipe down, tough boy. I’m not going anywhere—even if they did ask.”

  “Be careful. I don’t want them hitting on you.”

  “You forget I work in a bar too. I know how to handle drunk idiots.”

  “Sorry, I’m just feeling a little possessive tonight.”

  “How come?”

  “I think your news about Cal State rattled me a bit. I can’t help but think you should pursue this great opportunity; but you won’t, because I’m holding you back. It’s not fair of me to do that to you. I want you to be able to live your dreams.”

  Reaching her hand across the bar, she placed it on my arm, stilling me. “I am living my dream, Caleb. I’m singing in a band I love and the guy I’ve been secretly crazy about for years has finally noticed me. Trust me. I don’t want to be anywhere else but right here. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll go to college at UW and everything will be great. You’ll see.”

  At that moment, I wished the rest of the world would fade away and it was just her and me. I wanted to kiss her senseless, kiss until her heart was pounding like mine.. I wanted to claim her so badly that
it made me ache inside.

  “I love you,” I whispered as I finished filling the tray of beers. “Thank you for everything.”

  “Everything?” she asked.

  “Everything. You have no idea what having you in my life has done for me. And, if I weren’t at work right now, I’d carry you off to my loft and thank you properly—right this minute. Tests be damned.”

  Smiling, she blushed as she bit her lip. It made me want to lick it.

  “Soon,” she promised.

  Picking up the tray I walked past her. “Not soon enough.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Caleb-

  It was Friday. Not surprisingly, I found myself awake at the crack of dawn. By nine in the morning, I was counting down the seconds as I waited for the clinic to open so I could finally call and get my test results. As soon as the time rolled over, I picked up my phone before quickly putting it back down. There was no way I could call the clinic this early. How desperate would that look?

  Rolling my eyes at myself, I got up and went to pour myself a bowl of cereal. Strolling across the room, I sat on the couch, picked up the remote and casually began flicking through channels, trying to find something to watch. Finally settling on one of the morning shows, I pretended to be interested as I chewed my cereal and tried to plan the perfect scenario for our big moment.

  Anna was in school all day today; and we had our regular gig tonight. Tomorrow, during the day, would’ve been an option, but Fringe was scheduled to play at the fundraiser event being organized by Jessi’s friends. That left Sunday.

  Growling in frustration to myself, I shifted in my seat, stretching my feet out onto the leather ottoman. There was no way I was going to rush this with Anna. I’d waited forever to be with her, and this was her first time. One thing was for sure; all this anticipation was turning me into an incurable romantic. If we had to wait, then I wanted to pull out all the stops. I wanted this to be special—for both of us.

  There was no reason to lie; I was as excited and nervous about it as she was. I’d never been in love with any of the girls I’d been with prior to her. Sure, I liked them just fine, but being in love with Anna made my need for her even stronger for some reason. This wasn’t about quick gratification or having the casual convenience of having someone to slack my need. No, this was me planning for the future, my future; and Anna had always been the one starring in it.

  Truthfully, I never really believed I’d get this chance. I wasn’t about to blow it now. Already risking a lot to be with her, I needed to make sure everything went perfectly.

  Finishing my cereal, I glanced at the clock. Nine fifteen. I sighed, wondering if it was still too early to call.

  “Oh, hell. Just do it.” I mumbled. What did I care if they thought I seemed overeager? I was. Glancing at the business card on the counter, I dialed the number.

  “Downtown Seattle Health Clinic.” A sweet feminine voice answered. “Ashley speaking. How can I help you?”

  “Hi, my name is Caleb McCord. I came in last week to have some tests done. I was told I could call for the results today.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. McCord. There was an equipment failure at the lab we sent out to last week. The problem has been fixed and they are trying to get everything back to us as quickly as possible. We are asking for our patients to please call back on Monday for their results.”

  You’ve got to be kidding me! Was the universe out to get me? It certainly felt that way. “Um, okay. Thank you anyway,” I responded.

  “I’m so sorry for the delay. Is there anything else I can help you with?” Ashley asked.

  “No. That was it. Have a nice day.”

  “You too,” she replied. I hung up the phone.

  Well, damn. There went that plan. Next week was going to be a busy one for Anna too. She had a few finals and then she graduated on Friday. We’d even managed to get a replacement band for that night, so we could all attend her graduation.

  That’s it! I thought excitedly. We’d both have that night off. We could spend it together and sleep in on Saturday. That would also give me plenty of time to think of something nice to surprise her with. It was going to suck having to wait a whole week again; but I’d managed to go this long, surely I could control myself a little longer. Perfection was worth waiting for, right?

  Excitement filled my mind as the ideas began to start tumbling, only to be interrupted by my phone buzzing. I immediately recognized the number of the facility Danica was staying at.

  “Hello?” My voice was full of concern.

  “Is this Mr. McCord?” a man asked.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Good morning, Mr. McCord. I’m calling on behalf of your mom. She had a pretty rough night last night and has been asking for you quite a bit. The doctor asked me to please call and see if you might be able to come see her today. He feels it will help to calm her.”

  “Let me get a shower and I’ll be right over,” I replied, my heart aching as I wished there was something more I could do.

  “All right. Thank you.”

  Hanging up, I went into my room, grabbed some clothes, and texted Anna.

  Hope U R having a good day. Will B with Danica most of the day it looks like. She had a rough night.

  ***

  Spending the day stretched out on a couch in a mental hospital eating Jell-O cups with my stepmom was never something I imagined I’d ever be doing. The good news was she seemed happy to see me, and even seemed fairly normal. I was careful to steer all conversation away from Jessi because I knew it was a big trigger for her.

  “So, guess what, Mom?” I asked, taking another bite of my red Jell-O.

  Smiling, she stared at me pleasantly. “What?”

  “I have a new girlfriend.” I waited to see how she would take that.

  “Really? Anyone I know?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yep. It’s Anna.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.

  Danica frowned slightly, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. “Jessi’s Anna?”

  Damn. I hadn’t planned on that. “Yes, Jessi’s friend. Anna and I have finally admitted our feelings for each other. I really love her a lot. I’m hoping to ask her to move in with me next week after graduation.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t understand. Anna’s just a child, Caleb. You can’t possibly be in love with her. She’s not even in high school yet.”

  Well, that answered that question. Her mind was clearly stuck in the past.

  “Mom. Look at me. How old do you think I am?”

  Rolling her eyes, she waved her hand at me. “Stop playing games with me, Caleb. I know you’re fifteen.”

  “I’m not fifteen, Mom. I’m twenty-one years old, almost twenty-two. Don’t you remember? I’ve graduated and I live in my own place with the guys from the band.”

  “You do?” I could see she was starting to fidget with her lap blanket.

  Placing my hand over hers, I held it tenderly. “There’s no reason to be afraid, Danica. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. Things have been terribly difficult for you, I know. No one blames you for wanting to find a way to hide and protect yourself. We all love you and we want you to feel better, so you can come be with us again. Do you understand me?”

  Tears welled in her eyes, slowly dripping over the rims and running down her face. “Something bad happened, didn’t it?”

  Treading carefully, I nodded, not wanting to push her too hard. “Yes, something really bad happened.”

  “Is Jessi dead?” she asked, her voice shaking and I gripped her hand tighter.

  “Yeah, she is.”

  A sob escaped her and she looked away. “I dreamed it last night. There was so much blood everywhere and I kept screaming for you to come help me.”

  Pulling her into my arms, I guided her head to my shoulder, her own shaking as she let the grief flow from her. “Let it go, Mom. I’m here for you. I simply need you to stay here with me. Okay? I need yo
u too.”

  “I’m so sorry, Caleb,” she hiccupped out between her tears. “I haven’t been a very good parent, have I?”

  “You’ve been the best parent I’ve ever had.” I reminded her.

  She snorted. “That’s not saying much. You have a mom who physically abandoned you and a dad who did the same, emotionally. I’ve tried to be a good parent to you ever since we found out the truth. I loved you like you were my own.”

  Her words puzzled me and I pulled away from her, slightly. “What do you mean since you found out the truth?”

  Glancing up, her eyes widened and she looked frightened. “I slipped. Don’t tell Hank. Please.”

  “What are you talking about?” I wondered if I was losing her again, but she seemed so lucid right now.

  “It happened when you had your accident,” she said, reaching to trace where my newest tattoo covered the scar on my arm. “You lost so much blood and they called your dad in to do a transfusion, but he didn’t match. His blood is type O. Your mom’s was A, but yours is B. It’s not genetically possibly for people with O and A type blood to create a B positive child. That was when we both knew; though I think he suspected it before then.”

  I felt my breath whoosh from me as if I’d been punched in the stomach. “Are you saying Hank isn’t my dad?” I asked incredulously.

  “Not your biological father. Your mom abandoned you both and left him with someone else’s child.”

  I was speechless, my mouth gaping open like a fish out of water; and, for a moment, it seemed as if the room was spinning. Closing my eyes, I had to remind myself to breathe as the many pieces of the puzzle of my life started falling into place. Hank hated me because I wasn’t his. The chip he carried around on his shoulder was because he’d been saddled with a kid he didn’t father. Seeing me everyday reminded him of her infidelity.

  “So, I’m guessing this means neither of you know who my father is?” I finally said.

  Danica shook her head sadly. “No, and it gets worse.”

  “Really?” I replied, a sardonic chuckle escaping me. “How’s that?”

  “A while back, Hank got a letter that upset him. He wouldn’t talk to me about it, but I saw him slide it into his nightstand. When he went to work, I read it. It was a letter from an attorney somewhere in Arizona, notifying him of your mom’s death from accidental overdose.”