by Sydney Snow
He was going to continue giving me the space I’d forced on him. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not. True, I wasn’t sure if I could get past all of this yet, but I missed him like mad.
I still love U, Caleb. But what is love without trust? I don’t know how 2 trust U again. I typed out, hitting send. Holding my phone in my hand, I stared at the screen for the next thirty minutes before I finally realized he wasn’t going to text me back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Anna-
“File drawer three,” I mumbled to myself as I sorted through the stacks of sheet music I’d been organizing in the office, while letting my mind wander.
A month had gone by and I’d never heard from Caleb again. I’d made no attempt to contact him either. The pieces of his life I knew about, came through the grapevine from my mom. Danica was staying with my parents now and was readjusting back into life. Caleb was a regular visitor there, coming to check on her. Danica and Hank were divorcing, and Hank was still in jail awaiting trial. The police had decided not to press charges against Caleb for his part in the fight, due to the extenuating circumstances.
Mom told me that Caleb was fronting the band now, since they’d been unable to find a suitable replacement for me that he would accept. Apparently they were doing very well though, even having a music scout come by to check them out. I was thrilled for him. He deserved some good in his life. I was a little sad I hadn’t been there to share that with the band though. I knew how excited they all would be.
Life for me was getting slightly easier. I was part way through my first summer semester and had managed to get a job through the school work-study program, helping the choir instructor, Mrs. Ashley Burns, a few hours each day. She insisted I call her by her first name and we hit it off pretty well. I enjoyed working for her.
“Anna, there’s someone here to see you,” Ashley said, breaking into my meandering train of thought when she stuck her head into the room.
Puzzled, I went out to find Tyler Reese standing there with a large bouquet of roses.
“Hey,” he said, shifting somewhat awkwardly as he thrust the flowers at me.
I laughed and took them from him. “What are these for?” I asked, lifting them to my nose and breathing in their beautiful scent.
“I’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, for weeks now, to get you to go out with me and you keep shooting me down. I figured I’d give the traditional way a shot. You know, see if flowers would work any better for me? Please say yes.”
Sighing, I stared at him over the top of the roses, taking in his hopeful expression. I noticed Ashley quietly slipping into the office and closing the door to give us some privacy.
“Tyler, I keep saying no because I don’t want to do anything to lead you on. I’m not very good relationship material right now. I came to LA because my heart had been broken by someone I loved and trusted very much. I just don’t think I’m ready to get back up on that horse again.”
Tyler stepped closer to me, brushing a strand of hair back behind my ear. “I’m not asking you to marry me, or to even be exclusive. I simply want to take you on a date. Is that so hard?”
It was the soft touch that did it. I missed having that closeness with someone, that comfortable companionship. Tyler had been around a lot with Shawn, when he was over to visit Holly. I knew everyone secretly hoped we would hook up. We all got along really well together as a group, our personalities meshing perfectly.
“Fine, I’ll go on a date with you. But just because I’m committing to this one, doesn’t guarantee there will be more.”
“There will be more,” Tyler said with a self-assured wink. Holy heck he was hot, but he was so different than Caleb. Other than the fact they were both tall and amazingly fit, the similarities ended there. Tyler was all blonde, tan, with surfer boy good looks. Caleb was tattooed, brooding, and more dark and mysterious. I loved seeing his tattooed arms wrapped around me.
Pushing these thoughts from my mind, I responded. “Don’t get your hopes up. I don’t want to lead you on. I’m going against my better judgment even agreeing to do this.” I wasn’t going to sugar coat it for him. He deserved better than that from me. “When are you wanting to go?”
“Tonight,” he said with a bright, beautiful smile; and I briefly wondered how many girls had fallen prey to it.
“Tonight?” I swallowed hard. That wasn’t much time to mentally prepare.
“Is that okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m free. It’s sooner than I expected is all. What should I wear?”
“A bikini,” he replied without missing a beat. “We’re going to the beach. I’ll be by to pick you up at seven.”
“Okay.” I was so nervous as I watched him leave the music building, continuing to stare at the door even after it closed behind him. What if I wasn’t doing the right thing?
“Everything all right, Anna?” Ashley asked, poking her head out.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I carried my flowers into the office. “Any chance you have a vase around here?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. My husband is often known to surprise me with flowers at work. I keep one in the far cupboard over there.”
“Your husband sounds wonderful.” Going to the cupboard, I located the vase and retrieved it.
“Here, let me get some water in it for you and you can start unwrapping those,” Ashley said, taking it from me.
Laying the flowers on the desk, I slowly began pulling the cellophane wrapping away. The flowers were beautiful, but I sure hoped I wasn’t about to make an even bigger mess of things.
***
“What do you think?” Tyler asked, as I glanced nervously around at the intimate little cove he’d brought me to.
“It’s beautiful,” I responded, setting the bag with my things down in the sand next to a blanket and picnic basket Tyler had brought. Glancing to where the last rays of the sun were barely edging the horizon, I loved how the light rippled softly in muted colors of orange and pink against the steely gray tones of the water.
“Are you up for some night surfing?” he asked.
“Night surfing?” Did people actually do that?
He grinned. “Yeah, I thought I could teach you in the cover of darkness. That way if you fall no one will see you and you don’t have to feel self-conscious.”
“Well, that’s very considerate of you, but you’ve forgotten one important thing.”
“Really? What’s that?”
“You will still be there to see my humiliation.” Folding my arms, I stared pointedly, arching my brow.
“I would never laugh at you.” He chuckled.
“You say as you laugh,” I replied, not believing him for a second.
“Come on. It’ll be fun. I promise.” Pausing he glanced around. “But first, we need to build a fire before it gets any darker. If you want to gather any dry driftwood you can find around here, I’ll run back to my truck and get the firewood I brought.”
“Okay,” I responded with a nod, watching for a few moments as he ran off in the direction of where we’d parked. Silently, I squinted my eyes, wondering if I could make him look like Caleb, but it was no use. His blond hair was too light to pull it off.
Slowly, I made my way around the higher edges of the cove, gathering up several smaller pieces of wood and placing them in a pile near our belongings. I heard Tyler’s heavy breathing before I could actually make out his outline, his arms loaded with wood.
“Sorry I took so long. I kept dropping pieces,” he apologized, carelessly tossing the wood down and brushing his arms off. “Give me just a second and I’ll have this thing roaring.”
“Not much of a Boy Scout, are you?” I asked when I smelled the fumes of the lighter fluid he was spraying on the stacked wood.
“I’m the best kind of Boy Scout,” he disagreed. “Always prepared for quick action.”
Before I could possibly ponder the double meaning of his words, he lit a match and tossed it, and a lou
d whoosh filled the air as the fuel ignited. Shielding my eyes against the sudden flare, I stepped backward, lifting my arm as protection.
Tyler laughed beside me. “Sorry. I should’ve warned you. It’ll die down here in a second.”
True to his word, the flames were already getting lower as they quickly ate up the lighter fluid. He squirted more on a couple of different times until the wood was evenly caught on fire.
“There we go,” he said with a dazzling grin, closing the container and tossing it off away from us. Grabbing the blanket, he spread it a safe distance from the flames. “Food first? Or surfing?”
“I thought we were supposed to wait an hour after eating to go swimming. You know, cramps and all that?”
He shrugged. “We could find something to occupy our time with for an hour, I’m sure.” He winked, his eyes traveling over me suggestively and it wasn’t difficult to decipher what he meant.
“I already told you—I’m damaged goods.” Nerves plagued me as I shifted, kicking my sandals off and burying my toes in the sand.
“You aren’t damaged. You’re hurt. There’s a difference.” Looking away, he lifted the picnic basket and set it in the middle of the blanket. “What you may not have considered is that you and I are in the same boat.”
My eyes widened a bit in surprise as he started laying deli food out, sandwiches, chips, and beer. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I get the whole broken heart thing. My girlfriend . . . ,” He laughed wryly. “I guess I should say my ex-girlfriend, is currently in Maui on her honeymoon with my ex-roommate.”
“Oh, that does sound painful,” I replied sympathetically, sinking down on the blanket next to him. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
He shrugged. “No, I don’t mind. I’ve got to get used to talking about it at some point, I guess.” Stilling, with some bottled water in his hands, his eyes took on a faraway look and I knew he wasn’t seeing me anymore. “I was majoring in Business and I was chosen to go spend the last three months of the semester back East, interning with a large financial firm. Only five students from the West Coast were chosen to go, and I was one of them. My girlfriend, Shelby, was totally supportive of me going. We planned to call each other every day, FaceTime each other, and whatnot. It started out okay, but then the time difference made things a bit more difficult for us and we seemed to have a harder time getting together. Long story short, I arrived home and found her in bed with my roommate. We fought, I moved out, she moved in, and now here we all are a month later. They’re married and on a beach somewhere for their honeymoon. I’m single and here on a beach with a first date.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, knowing it wasn’t really enough. He might be glossing over all the juicy details, but the hurt still showed in his eyes as the firelight reflected in them.
“Don’t be. I’d rather be here with you anyway. It’s obvious she wasn’t the one or she’d still be here.”
His comment made me immediately think of Caleb. Did that mean he wasn’t the one for me since he wasn’t here with me either? A tightening sensation in my chest made me realize I was holding my breath.
“How about you? What’s your story?” he asked, focusing back on me.
I shook my head. “Mine . . . is a story better left untold, I’m afraid.” I felt bad for ditching out, but I couldn’t betray Jessi’s secret—or Caleb’s for that matter.
“Gonna keep playing the mysteriously wounded card, huh?” Tyler asked in a light tone, not sounding upset at all.
“I guess so,” I replied, absently rubbing my arms. “I’m not trying to dodge you, but I’m definitely not ready to talk about it.”
“Well, hopefully I’ll still be around when you are,” he said in a good-natured manner, adding another wink.
“You know what?” I said suddenly changing my mind and wanting to get away from the subject of my past. “I think we should do the surf lessons first, after all.”
Squinting at me, he cocked his head to the side before studying me. “All right, but I left my board in the back of my truck. I’ll need to run and get it.”
“I’ll wait right here,” I said with a laugh.
“Promise?” he teased back.
“Promise.” Smiling, I watched him as he ran off one more time before turning to stare out at the dark water.
Slipping my shorts off, I left them on the blanket and moved toward the rhythmic surf, the sound soothing my senses. Stopping when the waves started washing over my feet, I was reminded of the lapping of Puget Sound as it moved against the beaches of Bainbridge Island. I missed the view of Seattle all lit up across the harbor and, for the first time since I’d left, a longing homesickness flooded through me.
Images of home danced through my mind and, in all of them, Caleb was present—sometimes laughing, sometimes kissing me, sometimes drunk, or even crying. I missed all the complexities of his personality. He existed on such a deeper level than I did, feeling and experiencing everything from the very depths of his soul. Every emotion he had was lived to the extreme.
A strange bluish glow caught my eye, and I found myself stepping farther into the water to try and see it better. The closer I got, the more it spread until I was standing hip deep in the water trying to figure it out.
“Phosphorescence,” Tyler’s voice broke into my solitude as he waded up next to me. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“It’s incredible,” I replied with a sigh. “I’ve heard about it before, but I’ve never seen it in person. It seems almost otherworldly.”
“I’ve only seen it one other time myself, and not this close before. It’s definitely magical. We’re lucky to get to see it.”
“Are they safe?” I asked as they floated closer, allowing me to see individual specs of light in certain places. “Should we move?”
“No, it’s fine. They’re just micro organisms.”
“With a very bright light,” I said with a smile. Dipping my hand into the water, I lifted it to see a few of the glowing spots scattered across my palm. “Look!” With child like glee, I held my hand up for Tyler to see.
“Gorgeous,” he replied, never taking his eyes off me. I recognized his look and found myself frozen as his lips descended to mine. Soft and warm, he kissed me gently, slowly wrapping his arms around my waist and dragging me closer to him. He deepened the kiss, parting my lips with his tongue, dipping farther into my mouth.
Water lapped at our bodies, the cool mixing with the heat of our skin as we stood together, and I felt . . . nothing. Absolutely nothing. The fire that sizzled in my veins with every touch I got from Caleb was clearly absent. It didn’t matter that I was hurt, that I was tired of crying, or that Caleb’s betrayal ate at me.
I was still in love with him . . . hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him. He was it for me, but was it too little, too late?
Lifting my hands to Tyler’s shoulders, I pushed him away. “T . . . Tyler,” I stuttered. “I’m so sorry, but I need to go home.”
A look of disappointment crossed his face, though he nodded and stepped away. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I whispered, barely hearing my own voice over the water. “He’s still waiting—hoping I’ll come back. I owe it to him to try and fix things. He’s always been there for me, for as long as I can remember.”
“You don’t need to justify yourself to me, Anna. I get it. I really do.”
“I just didn’t want you to think I intended to lead you on.”
He raised his hands in defeat. “In all fairness, you did warn me.”
Biting my lip, I nodded and began walking toward the shore.
“I have to say, whoever this guy is, I hope he realizes how lucky he is.”
Smiling, love infused my heart. “I’m the lucky one,” I replied. I couldn’t wait to get back to my apartment and call my mom. I was ready to go home.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Caleb-
“Did you hear the news?” Stix burst into the l
oft so loudly that I jumped, dropping my glass of water and it shattered into the sink.
“What the hell, Stix? You scared the shit out of me!” Carefully, I began gathering the shards so I could dispose of them.
“Forget that!” Stix practically hollered, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. “Did you hear the news?”
“What news?” I asked, experiencing a moment of panic as Anna’s image flashed through my mind.
“Man, you need to start answering your damn phone! Rick just got a call from that Hensley dude who came to listen to us play. His record label wants to sign us! They are paying for all of us to fly to LA to talk to the bigwigs!”
“You’re serious?” My mind was having difficulty forming a coherent thought at the moment. “Don’t mess with me, Stix.”
“Do I look like I’m messing with you? This is for real! What do you think?”
A whoop escaped me as I grabbed him, hugging him tight. “Damn! This is huge! I can’t believe it! Where are Rick and Riley? This calls for a celebration!”
“They’re on their way over from the island, right now. I think we need to go out and party!”
“Definitely! Let me go change so we can leave as soon as they get here.”
Anna’s picture greeted me as I entered my room. It wasn’t a very clear image, just one I’d snapped of her as she walked across the stage at her graduation. I’d had it printed off and framed it, setting it on my nightstand so I could always see her. Night after night, I’d fallen asleep with her image the last thing I saw. When she’d texted me after the altercation with Hank, it had taken all I had to tell her to take her time and then not reply to her again. I’d left her texts on my phone, rereading them over and over like some sappy, lovesick fool. I missed her.
How could we accept a record contract without Anna? She was the one who’d gotten us the recognition in the first place. This guy had initially come to hear her, not realizing she’d left. We’d been lucky enough to still make a good impression on him.