I Am Never Alone

by Campbell, Jamie

  “Everly, over there.” Oliver pointed to a dip in the ground. I couldn’t see beyond it, like the forest simply ended right then and there. I had no idea what Oliver was thinking but I headed in that direction anyway. I trusted him.

  And I almost went right over the edge of a cliff.

  I jumped at the last minute, hearing the kids behind me skidding to a stop. Leaves were displaced underfoot, many falling down the cliff face like glitter in a parade.

  It felt like I was in slow motion as I jumped over the chasm. Oliver was waiting for me on the other side, his jaw set in a shocked grimace. My arms flailed as I wondered how bad it would be if I fell down between the gap. Would it be the rocks hitting me from the side that would kill me? Or the sharp stop at the bottom when I hit the ground? It all flew through my head in the space of a heartbeat.

  Which was ironic, considering my heart felt like it had already stopped.

  My feet hit the ground and I tumbled forward with the momentum. Leaves stuck to me like glue as I turned over and over, finally being stopped by the thick trunk of an old tree. My ribs screamed in pain as I tried to sit up.

  “Are you okay?” Oliver asked, crouching down and running his eyes over me.

  My hand cupped my side. My ribs were probably just bruised, not broken. I hadn’t heard anything snap and I could still breathe. Surely that had to be a good sign. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m sorry I told you to do that, but it was the only way to get rid of them.”

  I looked past him back to the chasm. The kids were still there, standing on the other side and shooting daggers at me with their eyes. They wore barely more than rags, far underdressed for the conditions of winter.

  Yet… they looked like they didn’t even notice. Their eyes, while angry, still held a faraway look. They were all slightly crouched over, like they spent a lot of time in that position and not standing upright.

  They looked primal.

  They reminded me of a story I had seen once about a child found in Europe that had been raised by a pack of wolves after his parents died in a remote part of the forest. He didn’t realize he was human.

  Neither did these children.

  They whined and grizzled, angry I had gotten away from them. At least they were smart enough to realize their little legs wouldn’t take them over the chasm.

  “We need to get away from here,” I whispered, sliding up the tree until I was standing. My side hurt like hell but it would be nothing like succumbing to the clawing of thirty little fingers and three sets of teeth.

  I rounded the tree and kept going, slower now with my injuries. My senses were on high alert. Chances were if there were three kids in the forest, there would be more. We wouldn’t be alone out there. That was the only thing I was certain of.

  “You should rest, you’re hurt,” Oliver said, nodding toward my side. “It’s going to get dark soon. What do you want to do?”

  I looked up to catch quick glimpses of the sky through the thick canopy. He was right, it was going to be dark before I realized it. The sun had already left, leaving the grayness to dissolve into darkness. It wouldn’t take long.

  “We’re going to have to stay here for the night,” I replied. The thought of sleeping in my new apartment was calling to me but I had to ignore it. I would never make it back in time and would have to cross the city in the most dangerous part of the night.

  “There should be caves around here somewhere.” When I gave Oliver a questioning look, he continued. “What? I was a boy scout for a few weeks. I know some things.”

  “A few weeks? That’s all the time it took you to earn all your merit badges?”

  He grinned and it was just like being back to before the Event. “When you’re good, you’re good. What can I say?”

  I wanted to nudge him like I used to but stopped myself, needing to remember he was only a spirit without an actual body. I hated remembering that. I wanted my old friend back, the one I could feel the warmth of and playfully push whenever he deserved it.

  But he was gone.

  I had to remember that.

  “So where are these caves then, boy wonder?” I asked instead, not really succeeding in covering my melancholy.

  “I think they’re this way.” He started veering right and I followed dutifully. Hopefully we weren’t going around in circles. I did not want to encounter those kids again. I had no doubts they knew the forest a lot better than I did and would somehow find a way to catch up with us.

  We walked for what felt like forever. So long the sky completely turned black with only a silvery moon left to highlight our way. If it wasn’t for Oliver’s constant directions, I wouldn’t have had a clue how to put one foot in front of the other.

  I had a flashlight, thanks to Jet’s cupboard supplies, but I was too worried about using it in the darkness. It would have been like a beacon to the kids, they would have been moths to a flame. I couldn’t risk it, our footsteps were bad enough.

  Finally, we found the caves that I had thought might be nothing more than wishful thinking. I had to crouch over to wriggle my way through, praying there were no eager animals waiting for me inside.

  Absolute darkness surrounded me.

  I stifled down the panic.

  “Turn on your flashlight,” Oliver urged. I obeyed, feeling around in the dark of my backpack for the solid piece of metal. Its weight felt reassuring in my hand as I flicked it on.

  The rock walls instantly lit up. I scanned the cave and followed the beam of light further in until it opened up. Soon, I was able to stand completely. Oliver too, even though he was only acting for my benefit.

  “Home sweet home,” I muttered. Everything felt damp but it was actually warmer than outside and the wind was only a thin whistle at the entrance. There were no signs anyone else lived there, which hopefully meant both humans and animals alike.

  I curled up on the floor and leaned against the hard black rock wall. My head fell back as I sighed. “It might have been really stupid coming out here.”

  Oliver settled next to me, sitting cross-legged so he could face me. “Since when have we been the most sensible people in the world?”

  I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Even dead, I was glad he was the one to be there with me. How on earth was I ever going to let him go?

  “As I recall,” I started. “You were supposed to be the sensible one between us. And yet you let me go on this fool’s errand anyway. I don’t even know what thyme is, let alone what it looks like.”

  “Where’s the fun in being sensible?”

  Good question.

  “You didn’t happen to study herbs while you were a boy scout for those few weeks, did you?” I asked. It was worth a shot.

  “Mostly I learned to tie a reef knot. Which was really boring, hence the refusing to go back part.”

  “I don’t think knots are going to get us out of this one.” I chuckled under my breath, causing me to wince with the effort again. My ribs were killing me.

  All the humor left his face as he continued to study me. “You should try to get some sleep. I’ll keep a lookout all night and wake you if someone comes.”

  I didn’t need to ask him if he would stay with me all night. I knew he would. I also knew he would protect me at all costs so I didn’t have to worry about being vulnerable while asleep.

  “Thank you,” I breathed as I moved to lie on the floor. It was nothing but damp mud packed tightly on the bottom of the cave, but it was going to be my bed for the night.

  I drifted off into a nightmare-filled dream state. I was being chased by the feral kids but they were joined by another. Faith was one of them. She wasn’t the sweet little girl I had known, but a monster. She caught up to me in the dream, tearing me down to the ground before gnawing on my flesh like I was a piece of fresh meat.

  I awoke with a start, sweating despite the coldness in the air making my breath mist.

  Oliver was watching me, his eyes instantly full of concern. “Bad dream?” I n
odded. “You were whimpering, I wanted to wake you but I didn’t know if that was a good idea. Anything you want to talk about?”

  I really didn’t.

  “Nope. Maybe we should just get going.” I pushed myself up to a sitting position, my side screamed in protest. I ignored it, making sure Oliver didn’t know how much it hurt. He would only want to turn back and I couldn’t do that. Not after coming this far.

  Oliver stood too, much more elegantly than I had. “I think I’ve found some of the ingredients.”

  “Seriously?”

  He nodded happily. “I had a bit of time up my sleeve.”

  A bit of time. He’d had all night. A long, boring night of nothing but my whimpering to keep him company.

  “Well? Where is it?” Electricity coursed through me, feeling almost like hope. Maybe we hadn’t been wasting our time out in the middle of nowhere for nothing.

  “Come with me.”

  Oliver led me further down into the cave where I needed to use the flashlight just to stop myself stumbling over. Except we weren’t going down, but across. The ground was largely level, we could even have been rising a little.

  The cave gave way to an opening. Light from a large hole above lit up the round space. Oliver stopped and crouched down next to some grass growing along the edges. “I’m pretty sure this is thyme and over there is coriander.”

  It all looked like weeds to me.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, unable to keep the skepticism out of my voice.

  “Pretty sure.”

  “Good enough for me,” I sighed. I took out a few of the plastic bags I had brought along and took all the herbs Oliver pointed out. If he was right, we’d have everything we had come into the forest for. “Do you think this will be enough?”

  Oliver shrugged. “I’m not sure how much is needed to conjure a demon. We’ll have to cross our fingers.”

  Or spend another entire day walking around the forest looking for more ingredients. The answer was clear, we had enough. Either we were going to summon a demon or we weren’t.

  “Let’s go home,” I said, never more grateful to mutter those words.

  We had been turned around a few times when we were chased by the wild kids the day before. That made it considerably harder to find our way back out again.

  Which translated to taking us almost twice as long as it should have.

  I walked while Oliver walk-glided beside me. It was probably so frustrating for him to move so slowly as I kept stumbling over fallen branches and sliding on moss covered rocks. It had rained in the night, adding to our misery.

  Eventually, we found our way back to the highway and the rows upon rows of cars that doubled as coffins. From there, it was just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other over and over again. They eventually took us back to the city and to our apartment.

  The moment I stepped foot into the place I had come to call home so quickly, I knew something wasn’t right. My neck spread with goosebumps, something had changed.

  Someone had been in my apartment.

  And they could still be there.

  All thoughts of safety and security rushed from my mind like nothing more than sand through an hourglass. It slipped through my fingers like it was nothing more than an illusion anyway.

  Which it was, just an illusion.

  I made a shushing motion to Oliver, even though nobody could hear him anyway. My instincts told me to turn around and run but that wasn’t an option anymore. This was my territory. If I left, I would never come back and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

  Something bumped in the bathroom.

  Oliver heard it too. He hurried toward it, disappearing through the wall. I was never going to get used to seeing him do that. It would never be normal for us.

  The makeshift door I had made out of cardboard for the bathroom flung open before he could return. I was about to run or fight or scream or something.

  Until I recognized Jet.

  All that fear turned into anger. “What are you doing here?” I demanded. I felt like throwing things at him, anything I could get my hands on.

  “Where the hell have you been?” he yelled back, matching my anger and then upping the ante.

  Oliver walked out of the bathroom behind him, hovering nearby but purposely staying out of our conversation.

  Or… argument.

  “It’s none of your business,” I replied.

  Jet came closer, leaving barely more than a few feet between us. Seeing him up close, the anger burning in his dark eyes was clear. I hadn’t seen him that mad in a long time. “I know you left the city. Where on earth did you go?”

  My arms crossed over my chest without consciously doing it. “Have you got spies watching me?” His silence spoke volumes. “You can’t do that! I didn’t realize accepting this place came with strings. You don’t have a license to stalk me, Jet. This is ridiculous.”

  “I wasn’t stalking you. I’m looking out for you. For some stupid, idiotic reason I don’t want you to end up dead somewhere. Call me crazy but I actually care about you. Although, right now, I have no idea why.” He threw his hands out from his side, like he was giving up.

  No words came to mind as my brain tried to process what he was saying.

  “Where did you go?” he asked again.

  I looked at Oliver for some guidance but he was just standing there, looking out the window. So much for that.

  “I went for a walk,” I replied. I knew it wasn’t a good enough explanation for Jet but it was all I was prepared to concede. He wasn’t my keeper and I would gladly give him back the apartment and all the remaining food if he thought he was.

  Jet stared at me for so long I wasn’t sure if he was anything more than a statue. All the life had drained from him, leaving nothing but a lump of marble and stone in its place.

  “Clearly I was wrong,” he muttered before storming toward the door. He slammed it behind him. Even with the closed door, I could still hear his footsteps stomping down the stairs outside.

  I had no idea what just happened.

  Oliver joined me, about to open his mouth to speak when I held up my hand to silence him. “Don’t say it. I know you think I need to be nicer to him.”

  “You should be.”

  “He doesn’t know me. I owe him nothing.”

  Oliver pursed his lips together but didn’t say anything. He knew when to remain quiet, it was only one of the things I loved about him. He knew me. Jet didn’t.

  Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty over his anger. Perhaps he was only looking out for me and I shouldn’t be as harsh on him as I was.

  But… he was only doing it out of guilt. I could see through him like he was nothing but glass.

  “Whatever you say,” Oliver said under his breath.

  I went to the food cupboard so I could bury myself in it and distract myself with some much needed sustenance. Even for only a few minutes, the respite was worth it.

  The walk home had exhausted me. So had the brief argument. Nothing could conjure up as much anger in me as Jet could. He made my entire body burn with rage and frustration.

  I think the feeling was mutual.

  I locked the door. Jet’s presence earlier proved he had a key and could come in any time. It didn’t settle my nerves any. Who knew how many keys there were to my apartment.

  Perhaps I needed to move.

  The moon was still making its way into the peak of the sky when I fell asleep. I needed all the energy I could get.

  Tomorrow I was conjuring a demon.

  Chapter Five

  The pangs of guilt were weighing me down when I awoke. I didn’t like the way things had ended when Jet stormed out of the apartment the night before. No matter how many times I told myself to get over it, the regret still found a way to creep back into my consciousness.

  I had two options: trek through the city to find Jet and apologize, or attempt to conjure Kostucha. The decision really made itself. Jet
could wait, the spirits trapped in between could not.

  There were bigger things in the world than one guy’s ego.

  Pulling out the torn page from the ancient spell book, I smoothed it out as much as I dared. Both the paper and ink were as fragile as human life, it was a miracle it had managed to survive for hundreds of years already.

  Setting it on the bare concrete floor of the apartment, I laid out the ingredients we had gathered and tried to commit the words to memory. I had never performed a spell before so I wasn’t sure how long it should take me. I doubted fumbling for the next stage would help.

  The steps didn’t look that complicated. I basically needed to light the fire and then add the ingredients one by one while repeating the summoning words. Providing I didn’t somehow mix it up, I figured I would be able to do it.

  “You shouldn’t be doing this,” Oliver said, watching me from his position by the wall.

  “You helped me get the ingredients, what did you think I was going to do?” I asked. He had been fretting all morning like an old woman.

  “I agree with the spell in concept. But I think you should have help. If something happens, I can’t…”

  He couldn’t help me.

  I knew that already.

  I was on my own.

  “There is nobody to help me,” I pointed out. “No-one with an actual, corporeal body anyway.”

  “You could ask Jet.”

  I snorted. I definitely didn’t need his help. He would only give me another lecture. Plus, he had made his position on what I was doing quite clear, he wouldn’t change his mind.

  “I’m not asking Jet. I can do this, Olly. And I’m going to do it whether you like it or not. So are you in or are you out?”

  Conflict raged over his face, his eyes a picture of perfect torment. He didn’t like being so powerless or useless. Oliver was the kind of guy who rushed in to save the day. He wasn’t a good bystander.

  Death had robbed him of who he really was.

  But I still knew.