I Am Never Alone

by Campbell, Jamie

  “You know what.”

  “Are you talking to your little ghost friend again?” Jet commented.

  There were too many conversations going on for me to keep up with them all. I placed my finger on Jet’s lips, stopping my steps so I could do it. As a group of boys walked past, I tried to make it seem like we were sharing an intimate moment as a couple rather than the fact I was trying to silence him.

  As soon as the group passed, I turned to Oliver. “Can you please quit it? You know how I feel about this.”

  He put his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. But, come on, Ev. Don’t you see it?”

  “See what?”

  He shook he head, smiling to a joke only he understood.

  Whatever.

  “I’ll catch up with you later, Ev. Have fun.” He gave me a wink before blinking out of there.

  At least I was back to only one conversation. I started walking again, taking a few steps and realizing Jet wasn’t following. I turned back to him. “Are you coming?”

  He raced to catch up. His arm settled around me again. “I wasn’t sure if I was invited.” It took a few steps before he spoke again. “Who are they?”

  “Who are who?”

  “Your friend. Boy or girl?”

  “Boy.”

  “Oh.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. I just figured that whoever he is, he must be very special to you for all the trouble you’re going to trying to help him.”

  That was true.

  Oliver was the most important thing in my life. Everything else came second. And not even a close second.

  “He is special,” I muttered in reply.

  “Can you tell me about him?”

  I stole a glance Jet’s way to see whether he was just playing a game with me, like he wasn’t really interested in hearing the story. Or if he was merely trying to make conversation.

  But all I saw was sincere curiosity.

  Oliver had been all mine for so long I was reluctant to share him with anyone. I had thought not revealing who he was would protect him.

  But the truth was I couldn’t protect him from anything.

  And if Jet was going to risk his life by helping me free him so he could pass over, then perhaps he deserved to know the truth. Maybe it was time.

  It would have been nice to ask for Oliver’s permission to share his secrets but he wasn’t there. And I really didn’t think he would mind. Jet couldn’t do anything to him, he couldn’t even see him.

  “His name is Oliver,” I started, taking a deep breath. Because really, this was difficult to let go of. “He has been my best friend since we were little. We used to live across the road from each other and we were inseparable.”

  “How did he…?”

  “He was attacked, someone killed him.” The lump in my throat was forming again, like it did every time I pictured Oliver’s death. He had spared me all the gory details but my mind was perfectly capable of filling in the blanks for him.

  “How long ago?”

  “A few months.”

  Jet nodded along slowly, taking in all the details one by one. Savoring them like he was privy to something special. Which he was, I’d never talked about Oliver to anyone before.

  “Is it weird, having him around as a ghost?” Jet asked. “Knowing he’s… passed but seeing him all the time?”

  “Weird doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

  “Is it painful?”

  “When I think of what happened to Oliver, it’s like there is a gaping hole in my chest that just sucks the life out of me and brings me to my knees. So, yeah, it hurts.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. It happened, it sucks, but we’ve both got to deal with it.”

  We took some more steps in silence. I had no idea what was running through Jet’s head but if it was anything like my thoughts, they weren’t pretty.

  When he spoke again, his voice was whisper quiet. “You know he might be able to cross over soon.”

  “He promised me he won’t leave until I’m ready for him to go.” It was the only way I had agreed to help the spirits. Oliver would only leave with my blessing. It was the only assurance I had that was getting me through the whole thing.

  Jet let out a whistle. “Heavy.”

  “Beyond heavy,” I agreed. “So now you know why I have to do what I’m doing, no matter what might happen to me. I can’t leave him trapped here.”

  He shrugged. “Good enough for me.”

  “What?”

  “If he’s your friend, then it’s enough of a reason for me to help.”

  I bumped him with my shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “We haven’t freed him yet, you can thank me after that.”

  How I was going to be able to thank him for risking his life for the dead was beyond me. I guessed I would have to deal with it if we both survived. Neither of us might be around for that kind of sentimentality.

  As we turned the last street for the tunnel entrance, the spirits that had been listening in on our conversation starting talking all at once.

  “They’re really going to do it. They’re going to free us.”

  “They’re only talking about it. Talking and acting are two very different things.”

  “You’re so pessimistic. You don’t believe anything.”

  “I believe in some things.”

  “Well, I believe in this girl.”

  “Kids shouldn’t be left to deal with these things.”

  “Well, they are. And this one is smart. She’ll help us cross over.”

  “She’s going to use Hell to do it. Maybe we’ll all end up there.”

  “I’m not going to end up in Hell.”

  “You might not get a choice.”

  It was all too much.

  “Everly? Everly, are you okay?” Jet’s voice penetrated through all the others. I focused on drowning them out but there were so many of them.

  Too many of them.

  “Well, I hope she hurries. I can’t stand being in this suspense for much longer.”

  “It’s not her fault we’re like this.”

  “No, but she’s the only one who can hear us.”

  “And therefore help us.”

  “We shouldn’t get our hopes up. She’s just a girl.”

  “We’ve been through this.”

  “I know, but look at her. She’s so small, so weak.”

  “She’s stronger than she looks. Remember what that boy said to her?”

  “Which one?”

  “Her boyfriend, that other spirit. He said she can do anything, including freeing us.”

  I smiled, at least I had a few fans among the disbelievers.

  “Everly?” Jet again. He was trying to pull me back to him. He physically reinforced his words, pulling me closer against his side. “Are you okay?”

  We reached the tunnels and the relief was instant the moment we entered. All the pressure on my brain let up, allowing my own thoughts to be heard again.

  “Everly?”

  “I’m fine, the noise has stopped now.”

  “The spirits? How many of them were out there?” His brows knitted together in a frown.

  I didn’t exactly have time to count them.

  “I don’t know. About a dozen or two, I guess. Maybe more.”

  His eyes bugged out for a moment. “That many?”

  “Yeah. They’re everywhere. Except underground.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know how you deal with it.”

  It wasn’t really an option.

  It never was.

  The tunnels were so familiar to me now I barely stumbled in the darkness. And even when I did, Jet was there to steady me. We walked silently through the narrow passageways, enjoying the few glimmers of light from the vents as we passed underneath.

  We reached Jet’s room and closed the door behind us. It was the only place we could be ass
ured of not being overheard and gave us some semblance of privacy.

  Plus, it kind of felt safe there.

  Unlike every other place in the city.

  I would never actually say that to Jet, because even I didn’t understand what it meant. But it was the best place for us to plan our attack against Kostucha. He couldn’t touch the adults down there, which meant he was also banished from the underground. He wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop on us either.

  It took the rest of the day for us to work everything out. Whenever it appeared like we had a solid plan, one of us would find the loophole that just might cause us to fail and we’d have to work out a different strategy.

  Several times I felt ready to give up.

  Jet kept me going every time.

  We got back to work and found a way around the problems, solving each as if it was a puzzle that had to be pieced together. It was worse than doing homework. There were real, deadly consequences if we got it wrong.

  The line was thin.

  Too easy to cross and fall onto the catastrophic side.

  Jet walked me home just before dusk. My head was buzzing with everything that had to happen.

  And it was going to happen tomorrow.

  There was no point in waiting around for a better time. That time would never come. Every day the spirits spent in limbo was one too many. I couldn’t prolong their suffering any more than I already had.

  When Oliver popped into the apartment later that night, I explained everything to him. He would be able to come to the tunnel entrance with me but was unable to be underground for the actual ritual.

  It hurt him as much as it did me that he couldn’t participate. Even the simple act of having him nearby gave me comfort. But some things we couldn’t change. Ever.

  I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep for nerves but I did manage to drift off into the numbness for a few hours. Oliver stayed with me all night, still sitting beside me when I woke up in the dark.

  While the sun was still rising over the horizon and smudging the sky with its orange hue, I was preparing for battle. I wrapped my arms with both of the bandages I had, hoping the extra layer would be enough to soften any blows to the fragile remnants of skin.

  My long hair was wound high in a pony tail, my coat tight around me with all the buttons done up. This was my armor and it would do nothing to save my life if Kostucha got a chance to kill me.

  No amount of clothing would.

  Nor steel and Kevlar armor for that matter.

  Demons were in a class of their own with the amount of damage they could inflict on a mere human mortal. We were nothing more than playthings, toys in a box that could bend to their bidding.

  But not today.

  Kostucha was spending his last few hours on this earth. I would not stop until one of us was dead. That was my vow, my mantra, my motto, to Oliver and all the other spirits that were people’s parents, friends, family, and loved ones.

  I would not stop.

  Either way, someone was dying today.

  And I would do everything in my power to make sure it wasn’t me or those I cared about.

  When I was dressed and had something to eat, I didn’t hesitate in leaving the apartment. Reading through the ritual instructions one last time was the only preparation I needed.

  My feet hit the street with purpose, every step making my hips hurt but I refused to let the pain creep into my conscious thoughts. I would show no weakness today. I would give Kostucha nothing to exploit.

  Oliver walked every step of the way with me. He was unusually quiet but I didn’t blame him. Today might be the only shot he got at crossing over so he could finally rest in peace. That was a big deal. So much was at stake today.

  When we reached the tunnels, it was the first time I had hesitated since waking up. Oliver and I turned so we were standing face to face. My heart skipped a beat at seeing his beautiful face so close to mine.

  “I’ll wait here, the whole time. I’m not going to go anywhere,” he said seriously. “I promise I’ll be here.”

  “You better,” I said, trying to sound like I was teasing him. Really, it was all I could manage. I wouldn’t be able to get through what I had to do if I thought about Oliver not being there for me.

  There was so much I wanted to say to him before he left but I couldn’t do it now. Once I started, I would be useless to do anything. And right now I needed to be beyond strong. I needed to be a warrior.

  Fierce.

  Fearless.

  Brave.

  I was feeling none of those things but I was determined to pretend anyway. Oliver saw through my act, I know he did. But he also had an unwavering belief in me that I felt I never deserved.

  Maybe today I would deserve it.

  I would earn it.

  “You’ll probably feel it if it works,” I added. “So… cross your fingers.”

  “I don’t need to. I’ll be right here when you’re finished. Come up quickly, okay?”

  I nodded. “I will.”

  He held up his palm and I placed my hand against it. The coldness charged me, filled me with the courage I needed to do what I had to.

  “Be safe, okay?” Oliver whispered.

  “Always.”

  He gave me a smile, one I wanted to remember forever. I nodded and took the few steps to the tunnel entrance. I looked back, mentally willing myself to take a snapshot of the way he looked, the way he felt, the way he smelled. I needed to remember him exactly as he was, looking at me with such love in his eyes that I could do anything.

  Turning away from him was one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.

  Once inside, I ran down the corridor in the darkness, my hand still tingling with Oliver’s frozen touch. Jet was waiting for me outside his room, leaning back against the wall like he didn’t have a care in the world. His bottom lip was bearing the brunt of his nerves.

  “Are you ready?” I asked. Today was not a day for small talk.

  He kicked off the wall, standing tall. “Sure am. Are you? You look ready to kill something.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  His eyes travelled over me, first up and then down. He wore a look of confliction, as if he was internally warring with himself. I braced myself, waiting for the lecture that would surely follow. I was about two seconds away from getting a speech. One where he said I shouldn’t do what we had planned. That it was too dangerous. That he should do it alone instead.

  My eyes went to the floor. “Don’t say it, Jet. I’m doing this.”

  “I know you are. I’m not going to try and stop you. I’d never do that.”

  That got my attention. My gaze met his. His eyes burned with something raw, something I couldn’t quite understand.

  He continued. “I’m not going to stop you but I sure as hell am going to fight right next to you. Every step of the way, I’m going to be there… with you. This is my fight, too.”

  “It’s not, you can still back out,” I reminded him.

  His lips quirked into an amused smile, it reached his eyes and made them sparkle even in the dim lighting. “Not going to happen, princess. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

  “You know, I could start the fight with you if you don’t stop calling me that.”

  “I can’t, you’re gorgeous when you’re angry. Let’s go.” He picked up his backpack from the floor and started striding down the corridor.

  All I could do was shake my head and follow after him. Catching up, we walking side by side into the fight of our lives.

  Chapter Seventeen

  With the aid of a single flashlight, Jet and I found the place where Hunter had said he could feel Hell the strongest. Really, we didn’t even need his help. The entire underground cave reeked of the evil that was so close to us.

  It crawled across my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. And not the good kind.

  My mood instantly shifted into one of despair. I kept thinking how the ritual wasn’t going to work. T
hat we were going to fail and the world would only contain hopelessness and pain.

  But it was only the influence of Hell talking. With every horrible thought, I had to take it apart and replace it with one of my own. That we could do this. That Oliver and all the spirits would be able to be free. They would not be consumed by the demon.

  I set up the candles and Jet followed behind me, lighting them. Eventually we had so many we could switch off the flashlight. The flames cast an eerie glow in the small space. Every shadow danced, making me think that they held something sinister that would spring out and attack at any moment.

  But the creatures that attacked were aboveground.

  They were called humans.

  Down here, nothing could hurt us. Not until we summoned the demon we were hunting, anyway. After that, it was anyone’s game. The proverbial gloves would be firmly off.

  “You ready?” Jet asked once we were standing in the semicircle we had created.

  Was I ready? Would I ever be ready?

  No.

  But I nodded anyway. “Yeah, let’s kill a demon.”

  He smiled and stepped closer. Our hands linked together as we started reciting the incantation from the stolen library book.

  “Lirach tasa vefa wehlic, Belial”.

  We repeated the words over and over again until they became meaningless. The incantation spun around and around us in the air as the wind kicked up in earnest. Where before it had been as still as death itself, now it was like a hurricane was forming around us.

  Little glimmers of the magic we were calling forth started sparkling around us, humming like a swarm of fireflies. My grip on Jet grew tighter as I feared I might be swept away by the movement. If we broke contact, it would be all over. Two people had to perform the ritual, it was impossible alone.

  “Lirach tasa vefa wehlic, Belial.”

  The words became our shield, spinning around us like a carousel and making my head spin. Waves of nausea pounded over me, kicking up the despair and misery by tenfold. In that moment, I wanted to be one of the dead. I would have done anything to escape the horrible world.

  But that was only Hell speaking.

  I focused on Jet to keep from drowning in those thoughts. Our eyes locked and I refused to look away. He was my anchor, the one who would get me through this.