Forgiven (Book 3, The Watchers Trilogy; Young Adult Paranormal Romance)

by S. J. West

  I remembered Ms. Cane well. Who could forget that head of hair?

  “What about her?”

  “I found out she got married not too long ago.”

  “What? I thought she would stay an old maid the rest of her life.”

  Will shrugged, “Guess not. She ended up marrying Principal Wright. You know his wife passed away a couple of years ago.”

  From then on Will and I spent at least two hours reliving events from our childhood and laughing over things which happened to us as kids. They were things which help build a person’s life and form them into the adult they eventually become. It made me realize how similar Will and I were because most of our life had been shared with one another. I knew I would never again love Will like I did the night he first kissed me. And I was all right with that fact now. It took me a long time to get over him breaking my heart, but I had finally found the one person in the world who my heart had always truly belonged to.

  After classes on Friday, Tara and Malik rode to Dalton with me and Brand. We were supposed to meet Utha Mae and my mom at the church to help with the decorations. For the most part, the sanctuary was already bedecked with the churches own Christmas décor. Two twelve-foot Douglas fir trees stood tall on either side of the choir section behind the pulpit. Each was tastefully decorated with twinkling white lights, red and green mesh ribbon, glass gold- filigree painted balls, red and white glittery poinsettias, and gold painted sprigs. At the altar was a classic white sweetheart arch festooned with white gauze, red and white roses and greenery. Basically all we had to do was put the finishing touches on the pews and reception area.

  Pastor Ryan also wanted us to do a run through of the ceremony just to make sure we knew what to expect. It was going to be a simple, quick wedding. I didn’t think my heart could take anything too drawn out. The sooner Brand and I were married, the better.

  Brand asked Abby to stand in as his ‘best man’. As she and Tara walked down the isle side by side, I stayed at the front of the church waiting for the bridal march music to begin. I felt a familiar hand grab one of mine hanging at my side. When I looked behind me, I saw Malcolm.

  “Abby told me Will refused to walk you down the isle, dearest.” He came to stand beside. “I would be honored to do the job if you’ll let me.”

  I reached up and hugged Malcolm tightly around the neck realizing he had just officially reached best friend status.

  “Thank you,” I told him, knowing what he was doing couldn’t be easy for him. To hand me over to Brand would be just as hard for him to do as it would have been for Will. But, unlike Will, Malcolm was putting my needs first. God was right. Malcolm had indeed changed.

  After the rehearsal, we put the finishing touches on the sanctuary decorations and finished decorating the reception hall. Brand and Malcolm decided it would look nice to drape white lights from the exposed cedar beam rafters in the room. I played decoy with Utha Mae and my mom while they used their phasing ability to make quick work of what would have been a time consuming job.

  I stepped outside to the back of the church to dispose of some trash when I felt a presence behind me. I turned quickly and found someone I thought I would never see again staring straight at me.

  Robert stood at the edge of the woods. Before I knew it, he phased in right next to me and grabbed one of my arms.

  “I couldn’t let you get married without giving you my wedding gift,” he hissed.

  I immediately tried to phase but Robert counteracted it with one of his own, not allowing me to reach my destination. While we played a tug of war on who could phase faster, he pulled me to him with what seemed like the strength of a hundred men. I tried to wiggle out of his hold but found it impossible. For a few minutes, it seemed like we were stuck in a white misty cloud as each of us tried to keep the other one from phasing to their destination. During that time, he ripped my shirt open at the front and grabbed the back of my head forcing me to face him while he tried to cover my mouth with his own. I felt the savage intensity of his hate as he forced himself on me. I tried to fight but found myself no where near strong enough to fend him off.

  When I felt him try to undo the front of the jeans I wore, a burning rage I’d never had reason to feel before consumed me. My whole body suddenly felt like it had been lit on fire from the inside out. I grabbed Robert’s arms with my hands and heard the sizzle of burning flesh. He immediately let me go and stopped trying to prevent me from phasing. I phased us to the one place where I knew we would be alone: the forest where he tortured my friends on Halloween night.

  A holy righteousness burned deep in my soul. Even in the dark I could see the fear in Robert’s eyes clearly. Within his dark pupils, I could see the flames lighting my own eyes reflected there.

  “You can’t be one,” he screamed at me. “You can’t be one!”

  I tightened my hold on Robert and watched as he burst into flames falling into a black pile of ash at my feet.

  I held my burning hands out in front of me but didn’t feel frightened by the sight. Instead, I felt a strange sort of comfort by the fire’s presence. I brought my hands to my face and let the flames flicker against my skin. They felt like a warm wind on a summer day. They didn’t burn hot against my flesh but instead brought a sense of calm.

  “Lilly?”

  I looked up and saw Brand staring at me with an expression I’d never seen on his face while in my presence: fear.

  “What am I?” I asked him, hearing my voice but realizing it sounded different, slightly deeper, infused with power.

  I saw Brand’s chest move up and down quickly like he was having trouble breathing.

  “What am I, Brand?” I asked again, demanding an answer.

  “The child of an arch angel,” he said breathlessly.

  After he said the words, I knew he was right. The forest around me suddenly began to fade away. I collapsed to the forest floor losing consciousness.

  I felt a cold wet cloth resting against my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I found all three of my angels standing around my bed watching me. I immediately sat up.

  None of them said anything, just stared at me like they were waiting for me to sprout horns out of my head.

  “Why are you all staring at me like that?” I asked, sitting up, removing the small wash cloth from my head and laying it beside me on Brand’s bed. “Haven’t you ever seen an arch angel’s kid before?”

  I meant it as a joke but none of them laughed.

  “Stop staring at me. You’re starting to scare me.”

  Brand sat down on the bed beside me while Malcolm and Will continued to watch me carefully, like they weren’t quite sure if I was still the Lilly they knew.

  “Lilly,” Brand said. “Tell us what exactly happened?”

  I told them about what Robert tried to do once again.

  “I knew in my heart,” I said, “even if I was able to stop him this time there would be another attempt. I’m not really sure what happened. It was like something buried deep inside me suddenly erupted. Before I knew it, I grabbed him feeling more powerful than I ever have before and destroyed Robert with that power until all that was left of him was a pile of ash at my feet.”

  “The slimy bastard deserved what he got,” Malcolm snorted. “I won’t lose much sleep over his loss.”

  “But how can she be the child of an arch angel?” Will questioned.

  “She’s not the child of just any arch angel,” Brand said, understanding finally lighting up his eyes. “She’s the child of Michael.”

  The room went completely silent. The term ‘you could hear a pin drop’ came to mind.

  “Is that bad?” I asked, needing to know.

  “Unexpected,” Malcolm answered. “But it makes sense.”

  “Why does it make sense?”

  Brand touched my face tentatively letting the palm of his hand cup one of my cheeks in its warmth.

  “I see it now,” Brand said, his voice full of wonder. “That’s what we’ve all
been seeing in you, Lilly. We just didn’t know it.”

  “See what?” I asked, realizing we were finally solving the mystery of what made me so special to the fallen. “What do you see?”

  “God was right,” Will said, staring at me like he was seeing me for the first time. “We can see Michael’s essence inside her. That’s why she has the effect she does on us. Why are we only realizing it now?”

  “Because none of us have known the arch angels to procreate with humans,” Malcolm answered. “Why would we even think of such an absurdity?”

  “There must be a reason God let it happen,” Brand said. “But what could his purpose be?”

  “Michael didn’t have a child with just any human, though,” Malcolm pointed out. “He had one with a descendant of Lillith. That can’t just be a coincidence. It has to be divine intervention.”

  “Malcolm’s right,” Will agreed. “It had to be planned.”

  Becoming frustrated I said, “Will anyone answer my question? What do you see when you look at me?”

  “Michael’s job was to banish fear inside others,” Brand told me. “That’s what made him such a good warrior and leader in the fight against Lucifer when he rebelled. His strength helped guide us through the darkest hour in Heaven. You have his strength, Lilly. You have his power to make us reach above what we fear most and strive to be better. I think you are meant to guide us through whatever it is Lucifer has planned.”

  “If I’m supposed to stop Lucifer, why did God let Uriel keep trying to kill me? That makes absolutely no sense.”

  “I think it was because of me,” Will said, realization bringing tears to his eyes. “God told you he still watched over us. I think he knew you were never in any real danger because I was always there to keep you out of harms way. My relationship with you, Tara and Utha Mae is what changed me from being someone who hated humanity to someone willing to do anything to protect the humans I love. You were never in any danger of dying in those accidents Faust orchestrated because I wouldn’t let it happen.”

  “But what am I supposed to stop Lucifer from doing?” I asked.

  The room fell completely silent again for a second time. No one had an answer.

  “It may be time to gather the Watchers together,” Brand said, standing to face Malcolm and Will. “Maybe with our combined knowledge we can figure out Lucifer’s plan before it’s too late.”

  “You know there’s only one way to get them all together,” Malcolm said sounding like that in itself might be an impossible task too. “Our sides hate each other too much to do it willingly.”

  “What are you talking about? What has to be done?” I asked.

  “Samyaza will have to order it,” Brand said.

  “Well, he’s already helping us, right?” I said, not thinking this was an impossible task. “Doing us one more favor shouldn’t be too hard, should it?”

  “I don’t think he will do it if I’m the one who asks.” Brand looked down at me. “But he might do it if you ask him, Lilly. He’s a Watcher and we’ve already established those of us you know would do anything you asked of us.”

  “But he doesn’t know me.”

  Brand smiled. “I didn’t either; yet, you captured my heart with one glance in my direction.” He looked at Will and Malcolm. “You made the outcast of Heaven yearn for a better life. You are your father’s daughter, Lilly. I believe it’s your destiny to lead us through this dark time.”

  “I’m not a leader,” I whispered.

  “You’re wrong, my love,” Brand smiled at me, his eyes filled with certainty. “You were born to be a leader.”

  After Will and Malcolm left, Brand lay down in bed and held me in his arms. I began to tremble.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked, holding me tighter.

  “I’m no one special, Brand,” I said. “How am I supposed to lead a legion of angels?”

  “You brought three of us completely under your control and you didn’t even know you were doing it. I wouldn’t worry about a couple hundred more of them. They’ll see what we do in you and follow you into battle if it comes to that.”

  I buried my face in the side of Brand’s neck, wishing I could just forget everything I learned that night. It was the night before my wedding. I should be excitedly anticipating the ceremony and the wedding night instead of worrying about the fate of the world.

  As if sensing my dilemma, Brand rolled me onto my back and straddled my hips, lightly pressing his body into mine. Looking into his eyes was like delving into the ocean of his love. I felt drenched to the bone in his love for me and knew in that moment I would do whatever I needed to win against Lucifer. I wouldn’t let him rip my world apart when I had just found the one piece which made it whole.

  “You’re glowing,” Brand said, a hint of a smile touching his lips. “What are you thinking about?”

  “That I have too much to live for,” I confessed. “I won’t let him win, Brand. I won’t let him take you away from me when I just found you.”

  “We’ll find a way to stop him,” Brand promised. “It’s our destiny. Just like it was our destiny to meet one another and fall in love. I don’t think you were made to just defeat Lucifer, Lilly. I think you were born to show me how to love again too.”

  He bent his head down and gave me a tender kiss not meant to awaken my passion but to demonstrate without words how much he treasured and adored me for who I was. After a while, he pulled away and held out his hand to me.

  “I don’t want to,” he said. “But I promised Tara you would spend tonight at her place. You know it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.”

  Reluctantly, I placed my hand in his.

  “If there’s anything we don’t need,” I said, “is bad luck.”

  Brand phased me to Tara’s front door but gave me a kiss meant to tide me over until we could be together again the next day.

  “Meet you at the altar,” he whispered before phasing back home.

  I stood there for a minute after he left, needing to have a moment to myself to absorb everything I just learned that night. All my life I thought myself to be no one special: the illegitimate child of a woman who would rather spend her nights with strange men than her own daughter. Now, I knew I might be the most important person on the planet.

  How are you supposed to deal with that knowledge and not let it change you? Vanity had never been a problem for me, and I didn’t really feel like it was a problem now. Yet, I couldn’t lie and say knowing I might be the only person who could put an end to whatever Lucifer had planned didn’t make me feel powerful. I felt almost drunk on it. I was no longer someone a creature like Robert could push around and frightened. Now I was able to harness the power my father passed down to me and use it against anyone who might try to get in my way. I felt pride in myself knowing I could put an end to those who would try to harm me or those I loved. I would no longer let anyone hurt me. If they tried, I knew I could strike them down like I had Robert, disintegrating them into a pile of ash, never to be heard from again.

  Chapter 7After I went in and told Tara everything I now knew about myself, she decided it was a good enough excuse to dive head long into the pan of chocolate pecan fudge she had just made. It wasn’t quite cool enough to cut into little squares so we grabbed a couple of spoons and sat in front of the blazing fire lit in the living room fireplace, spooning out scoops of the ooey gooey chocolate goodness.

  “What did it feel like to murder someone?” She asked.

  Her question caught me off guard.

  “He was trying to rape me,” I defended. “It’s not like I planned to do it. It just happened.”

  “I know you, Lilly Rayne Nightengale. You’re kind hearted to a fault. You can’t sit there and tell me killing someone didn’t affect you, even if he deserved it. Hell, he deserved worse. He got off easy if you ask me. But, I don’t care about him. I care about you.”

  I sat there for a moment trying to think of a way to explain to
Tara how I felt. There was really only one way to put it.

  “I know I should feel some guilt over what I did, but if I’m being honest, it made me feel unstoppable. It was a rush of power, to know I could destroy him just with my touch.”

  The disappointment on Tara’s face from what I admitted forced me to look away.

  “You know that’s wrong, don’t you?” She asked.

  “It may be wrong,” I said, chancing a look back up at her. “But it’s the truth.”

  Tara sighed heavily. “Listen, girl. I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through. But, I don’t think you need to let this newfound power go to your head. I kinda doubt that’s what the Lord had in mind. You know He’s not much for arrogance. Be careful, Lilly, you don’t need to piss God off.”

  I smiled. “Did you really just say that? I don’t think those two words belong in the same sentence.”

  Tara waved her hand in the air as if flinging away my admonishment. “He knows what I’m saying. I’m just a plain talker is all. Anyway, the point is you need to keep him in your corner. Don’t do something that makes him turn his back on you.”

  Tara and I went to bed soon after. All I needed were bags under my eyes on my wedding day.

  I found myself back in the house Malcolm built for me, looking out the large picture frame window at the snow capped mountain and crystal clear lake far in the distance. When I looked beside me, I saw the form God had chosen the last time I spoke with him.

  “I know who my father is now,” I told him.

  “Yes, I know you do. I also know how it’s changed you.”

  “Is it wrong to feel powerful?”

  “Yes, and no.”

  “Do you always think that like?”

  God cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

  “It seems like you keep seeing both sides of a coin even though you’re looking at it on its edge.”

  God smiled. “Almost nothing is always one way or the other.”

  “I think I know why it’s good to feel powerful,” I said. “It gives you strength. But, why is it bad to feel this way too?”