by Tara Lain
She gave him a little shake. “Jake, for crap’s sake, this is the twenty-first century. Why didn’t you think you could tell me you’re gay?” She gave a little smirk. “It’s not like I didn’t give you lots of openings with my lectures on Alexander the Great.”
The music changed to something upbeat, and he led her off the dance floor to a small table and pulled a chair for her. When he sat, he took a deep breath. “Look, I can’t really explain this to you because I can’t explain it to myself. I’ve always been with women, and like I told you, there’s a woman I really care about. But Roan… I don’t know. Since I first saw him, I just kind of lost my senses. I can’t seem to stay away from him.”
“So you’re bisexual. What’s the prob?”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think my university would think so highly of my fuck-buddy.”
“No way, that’s discrimination.”
“Sure, but people get bad performance reviews all the time for less, plus Roan’s a superstar. Someone’s sure to find out, and then my boss would know and—”
“She’s the one, right? She’s the one you dream about.”
He stared at an empty wineglass on the table. “Yeah.”
“Does Roan know?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. Your love life is so complicated, it makes my lack of love life seem positively restful.”
He grinned. “You have no idea.”
“I hope you won’t take this wrong, but I wish I could see you and Roan have sex. Want to do a video?”
“What?”
“You’re both so damned beautiful. The idea of the two of you naked and sweaty gives me cold chills.”
“Laney, you little pervert.” He laughed.
“So what am I tonight, your fag hag?”
“What?”
She laughed. “A woman who hangs out with a gay man to help him look straight.”
“No! I mean, I wasn’t kidding when I said I like your company.”
“So who’s the bitch goddess? And what’s she doing with your man?”
“Yeah, that’s the question. Actually, she was engaged to him at one time, and they’ve stayed friends.”
“And lovers, from the look of it.”
Jake sighed. “Yeah.”
“So he’s bisexual too?”
“Laney, I’m straight, really. But I’ve never seen Roan look at a woman at all before, much less the way he looks at Alex.”
“And this is a problem for you?”
“No!” Her skepticism was back in full. “Yeah, well, maybe.”
“So why is he with her and you with me tonight? Is this some exercise in sadism or what?”
“No. Believe it or not, neither of us knew the other one would be here.”
She chuckled and shook a finger at him. “So, you were cheating on each other and got caught, huh?”
“No, we’re not exactly committed to each other.”
Laney looked surprised. “Really? Jeez, he looks at you like you hung the moon.”
Okay, that made him squirm.
“And like I said, you didn’t exactly look unhappy to see him either, Jake.”
He sighed. “Yeah.”
“Look, I kind of figured this thing out a bit while you were dancing with the redheaded ice queen. I’ve made arrangements to go home with your folks, so you can stay here and work things out with your guy, okay?”
His breath caught. “What did you say to them?”
Her gaze turned appraising. “You really are uncomfortable with this, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess. With good reason.”
She made a face at him. “I said you had work to do, and I needed to get back. That’s what I said, Mr. Hyde-in-the-Closet. What I thought was this looks like a pretty promising relationship to me, and I don’t think you should leave the field to the bitch, even for one night.”
“Laney, you don’t have to do that.”
He got that straight gaze again. “So, you’d rather drive me home to Brooklyn?” A smirk hovered at the corners of her mouth.
Okay, here it was. Choose, straight boy. A nice drive with a pretty girl and maybe some making out on the couch or seeing Roan naked, fucking a woman? “I should stay here and…work.”
Her rich, throaty laugh attracted a few stares from people at other tables. “Yeah, baby, do a little work for me too.”
Shit, how soon could he get upstairs?
* * *
Damn, he had to get out of this ballroom. He tried to concentrate on the high-profile guests Jenny was introducing him to, but his head filled with images of what Roan and Alex had been doing—for the last forty-five fucking minutes! Yeah, fucking minutes was very likely right on. Or maybe oral sex. Roan said he loved to eat pussy. Was that on the menu? Was that redheaded bitch sucking that beautiful cock?
Laney was gone. His folks had totally bought her story, bless her, and they’d taken her back to Brooklyn with them, ostensibly so she could work on her dissertation. If he could just get Jenny to stop introducing him to more and more people, he’d be home free. He’d done a good job. Worked hard. Em would be proud. Now it was his turn.
He looked around and saw Jenny separating another potential contributor from the herd. He moved quickly through the crowd and grabbed her shoulder, whispering in her ear, “Sweetie, I’m beat. Done for the night. Thank you so darn much.”
She looked a little surprised but turned to him with a hug. “Hey, I got it, kiddo. Give me a chance, and I’ll run you ragged. Get out of here and get some rest.”
Rest. Not likely. “Thanks again, Jenny-bean. Em’s going to be so happy and grateful too. I’ll call you soon.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah. Honest. Bye, sweetie.” He kissed her cheek and headed through the thinning crowd to the entrance to the ballroom. Out in the hall, he identified the direction of the elevators and walked to them as fast as decorum allowed, punching the Up button like it was a defibrillator and would get his heart started beating again. Floor sixteen, suite 1625. Floor sixteen, suite 1625. Finally, the damned elevator showed up, and he leaped in and pushed the Close button, leaving a couple of expectant boarders with their mouths hanging open. Floor sixteen, suite 1625.
Ding. Happy sound. He got off the elevator and headed in the direction the wall arrows indicated. 1621. 1623. 16—. He stopped dead and leaned against the wall. This was it. Almost as confronting as when he’d gone to Roan’s condo that first time. That time he’d known if he walked through that door, he’d have sex with a man. This time? Shit, let’s step way outside the boundaries of polite society. But his cock knew what it wanted, even if he didn’t. It throbbed at just the thought of what lay behind those double doors. If he walked away, he knew he’d always regret it. He faced the door, inserted the key card, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.
No steamy sex scene. Just a dramatic entry hall with a center table that boasted a huge arrangement of flowers. He moved slowly down the hall into the suite. He glanced at a gorgeous view of the water and lights through a wall of glass but didn’t really give a damn. Where was Roan? A soft moan turned him around, and he saw the light shining through a partially closed door. He walked slowly to the door and pushed it open.
Now this view he could get off on.
On the huge bed in the middle of the room, Roan was bent over Alex’s lean, bare body, his huge cock pumping slowly in and out of her pussy, doggy-style.
Jake gasped and literally grabbed his own cock. In his life, he’d never seen anything so erotic as his very gay lover fucking a woman. That beautiful body was completely nude, hard back rippling, head thrown back with eyes closed as he concentrated on thrusting that huge phallus into her and pulling it out. In and out. In and out.
“Shit, Jake, it took you long enough.” Alex’s voice was strained and breathy.
Beyond speech. Medusa couldn’t have turned him more to stone than watching that man fuck. Roan never opened his eyes. He just kept pumping.
Alex was gasping. “Jake, get the fuck over here. I’ve come three times, but Roan is not going to come until you’re in him; it’s just that simple. So get that cock out, baby, and go to work.”
Okay, that was the right invitation. Jake ripped off his bow tie and hauled the tux jacket down his arms. With a careless throw toward the chair, he started pulling off his shoes and pants, his eyes riveted on Roan’s flexing ass. When he was naked, his erection stood so hard against his body it was painful. He gasped. “Where’s the lube?”
“End table. There.” Alex motioned as her butt continued to take the hammering Roan was giving.
Jake grabbed the lube, swiped some on his cock, knelt on the bed, and began to push into Roan’s tight ass with two fingers as the model leaned farther over Alex’s back to accommodate him. When Jake’s fingers entered Roan’s ass, the man began a soft keening sound. Jake pulled his fingers out and grabbed his cock. Positioning the dripping head against Roan’s shining hole, he pushed, and the keening became a wail. “Jake…yes…yes.”
In to the balls. The pressure on Roan must have pushed him harder into Alex, who cried out, and then Roan simply took over pushing back onto Jake’s cock and forward into Alex’s vagina. He’d lost his dirty talk; just grunted and moaned each time he pushed and pulled. Jake knew the man desperately needed to come, and he hammered into him until Roan exploded, screaming, “Yes, yes, yes!”
Alex shrieked, “Jesus, Roan! Come in me, darling. Come!”
Shit! A flash of jealousy ripped through Jake, stopping his orgasm, like two fires burning each other out. Roan kept shuddering and bucking, pouring cum into Alex’s body. He leaned his head back, grabbed Jake’s head, and kissed him passionately. “Only for you, my love,” he whispered. Then he began to pull his slightly softened cock out of Alex. “Finish her, Jake. Fuck her. Let me watch.”
Jake shook his head, fighting the lust that filled him at the idea. Not the redheaded bitch. Roan extended a condom pack. “Do it. You want to. Do it. You’ll love it. I’m right here. You’re going to drive me crazy watching you fuck her. Do it, Jake. Do it.”
Jake snapped. Grabbing the condom, he rolled it on, and in one dive, he turned Alex over onto her back and pushed his throbbing cock into her very wet pussy. Yeah, wet with Roan’s cum. The idea inflamed him.
“Shiiiit,” she screamed. For a moment, Jake thought he’d hurt her and had to wonder if he cared, when she began screaming, “Fuck me, Jake! Let him see. Do it for Roan, baby. Oh shit, Roan, he’s so hot.”
Roan lay on the bed beside her, “Isn’t he amazing? God, I love his cock in me.”
“Oh, me too, darling, me too.”
Jake lost it. A fucking machine. He knew his lover was watching. This made Roan happy. Hell, this made Jake happy. He hadn’t felt this wild for a woman in years. It was Roan that made the difference. “Baby,” he moaned. “Give me your cock.”
He could see Roan was hard as steel again watching him fuck Alex. The beauty jumped to his knees, straddled Alex’s head, and guided his huge dick toward Jake’s mouth. Jake licked and licked around the big head as he hammered Alex’s pussy. Then he grabbed the mushroom top with his lips and sucked as much of the monster cock into his throat as he could get.
“Oh Jesus,” Alex moaned. “I’ve never seen two men suck cock. Oh fuck, it’s so beautiful.”
Roan thrust hard into Jake’s mouth. “Baby, it feels beautiful. Oh God, Jake, I want to come in your mouth. Do you want me to, baby?”
He couldn’t talk, so he just sucked harder, trying to take as much as the man delivered. Roan was more than a mouthful, and Jake was barely past his amateur cock-sucking status, but he tried not to gag on the huge rod. Alex’s pussy felt hot and soft. It wrapped his cock like a velvet glove. He had to admit he missed the tightness of Roan’s ass, but this pussy was special. Sucking Roan made the whole thing insanely sexy. Propped up on his straightened arms, he tried to force as much of the cock into his throat as physics allowed.
He was close. Oh shit, he was gonna have to come soon. This was just too great. Then Alex began whimpering, “Oh God, you guys. I’m gonna come again. Oh shit, I’m gonna—” She made a deep moaning sound, and Jake felt her body trembling. The contractions of her vagina pushed the last button, and Jake felt semen rising up like liquid fire from his balls. In response, he sucked as hard as he could on the cock in his mouth. Roan thrust hard and then threw his head back, eyes shut tight, and Jake felt the first splash of semen in his mouth. “Oh God, Jake, I love you so much.”
No! Cum pumped from his cock into the condom, but it felt like ice. He wanted to stop! Roan’s cum soaked the back of his throat. Jake gagged and swallowed. No. Not love. No. Pleasure ripped him apart. No. Roan collapsed half on top of him, forcing him down on Alex. No. Get out. No love. No. Caught between a woman he barely knew and a man he didn’t—couldn’t—love. He could practically see the endorphins and hormones flowing though his body, soothing him, bonding him—trapping him. He was not in love with a man. No. I have to get out of here!
He pushed against Roan, who moaned softly and rolled to the side. Ripping his softened cock from Alex, Jake maneuvered himself to the side of the bed and pulled off the condom, tying it and tossing toward the wastebasket.
Roan’s hand caressed his naked back. “Hey, baby. Rest a little. C’mon.”
Jake jumped up. “No, gotta go. Just realized my family expects me. Laney—gotta go.” He grabbed for his underwear and trousers and started pulling them on.
Behind him, Roan’s silky voice sounded confused. “Jake?”
Jake couldn’t look at him. He just kept dressing. “Sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have—I mean, I’ll go and call you later. Okay?” In his ears, his voice sounded breathy.
“Don’t go, Jake. Let’s talk about this. I know you’re freaked. I can feel it. C’mon, stay.”
Alex’s throaty contralto chimed in. “Yeah, Jake. Stay. I can go get another room. You two can talk.”
Two? Shit, no. No two. He and Roan were not a two. “No, really, I gotta leave. I’ll call, okay?” He looked over his shoulder. Big mistake. Roan knelt on the bed, almost in supplication, alabaster skin glowing, beautiful cock hanging, his face a mask of hurt and confusion. Alex stretched out beside him, her slim, boyish body half covered by the sheet. Jake saw green. Crazy! How could he be jealous over a man he didn’t want? How could he hurt a man he did want?
Outta here. His shirt already on, he shoved his feet into the shoes, minus socks, and grabbed his jacket. “Gotta go.” He didn’t look back again.
Chapter Twelve
Gotta go to work. Gotta go to work. Jake sat on the edge of his couch, the one Jenny called “serviceable.” Yeah, and it wasn’t very comfortable either. He knew he was rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around himself, but he couldn’t stop. He must look blind. He felt blind.
What the fuck had he thought? He could just have sex with Roan and not get involved? Not have Roan get involved? Love and family were everything to Roan. Jake knew the model would trade all the money and fame he’d acquired just to have someone he loved to come home to. And Jake had led him on. Let him believe he could be that guy, just so he wouldn’t lose Roan’s beautiful ass.
Jake rocked back so hard he banged the couch against the wall. No, that wasn’t the truth. He cared about Roan. Admired him, respected his intelligence and integrity. But love? No. Jake loved women—no, he loved Em. He fisted his shaggy hair. He’d tell her. He’d confess his feelings. Maybe the looks she gave him sometimes really were more than friendship? Maybe he could have her? She’d never want some mixed-up guy who couldn’t figure out his sexuality or his feelings. Jesus, she wouldn’t even want to employ that mixed-up bastard. But if he got his shit together, maybe he could have Em.
He pulled his hands down and stared at them. Have Em—and never see Roan again. His hand crept up and touched the wet on his cheeks. Oh Jesus, he was so fucked.
* * *
Jake stared at the computer. He’d b
een doing a lot of that lately. Around him he heard the key strikes of his fellow researchers—researchers working a lot harder than he was. He tried to make up at night what he couldn’t seem to get done during the day. Four days, actually. Despite his resolve, he’d never said a word to Em. A wise man once said, “That about which you’re unsure, put off as long as possible.” He just wasn’t sure. Every time he thought about speaking to her, the words stuck like pins in his throat. Was he scared? Sure. At least now he had her friendship and their professional relationship, but if he confessed his feelings, he could lose it all.
And he’d lose Roan. Yeah, he had to admit that too. The thought ripped him in two and made tears pool behind his eyes. Jeez, he was a fucking pussy. Of course, he’d probably lost him already. Roan had called again and again, but Jake never answered. He didn’t know what to say.
He realized his fingers were resting on the keyboard, but nothing was happening.
“Jake.”
He jumped and looked up into Em’s face. His cheeks heated. Guilty much? “Hi, boss.”
“That’s Doctor Boss.”
He smiled but just wasn’t up to the banter.
She stared at him a moment, and he noticed strands of her auburn hair were escaping her usual ponytail. Probably pulling her hair because he was leaving her with so much work to do.
“Jake, come get a cup of coffee with me.”
Oh, not good. “Uh, anything on your mind, boss?”
“Yes, come on.”
She turned and started threading through the desks toward the break room at the back of the lab. With no other options, he followed. Once inside the cramped room with its Formica table and assorted vending machines, she closed the door. Anyone who closed the break room door sent a signal to the rest of the lab rats that there was a private conversation going on inside, and the rest of them should go get their coffee from the cafeteria. People didn’t take advantage of the privilege often, so it was sacrosanct. Especially when the door-closer was Dr. Emmaline Silvay, the boss.
She cranked two coffees out of the vending machine, putting cream in his the way he liked it. She gestured to the table, and they both sat. His Diane Lane lookalike, his boss, his fantasy.