by Brill Harper
“Relationship?” Tanaya stomps on his hand. “We broke up, asshole. You broke into my apartment? You threaten me with a knife? Did you think that would make me want to get back with you?”
The cops get here while she’s telling him off. She doesn’t stop while he’s getting cuffed or getting his rights read to him. She does stop when she’s giving her statement to the cop, who seems a little in awe of her. Enough that I’m pretty sure he just asked if she’d like to tell him the story again tomorrow over coffee.
When Annabelle and I are both done giving our statements, I notice she looks a little shaky.
“Babe?”
Her big blue eyes fill with tears, and she rushes into my arms.
“I got you, gorgeous. It’s okay now.” I hold her. Grateful that I can. Glad that asshole didn’t threaten her, or he’d be dead right now, and I might be the one in a police car on my way to jail.
“Did you see how hopped up he was? He used to take stuff to stay awake to study. But he must have gotten into the heavier stuff since they broke up. God, Anker. People who are drugged out are dangerous. He could have killed you. Or Tanaya. God, what if we didn’t come when she messaged me?”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Everyone is okay,” I tell her, trying to soothe her. Inside, I’m starting to feel a rush of my own emotional shit coming at me. “We handled it, didn’t we? You and Tanaya are badass.”
“I think I’m going to hyperventilate.” She leans into me more and I squeeze her. Probably too tightly. “I was sitting there and when I realized he had a knife, all I could think of was losing you.”
“You’re not going to lose me, babe. I’m right here.”
“I’ve been wasting so much time. I kept thinking if I could just not fall in love with you until you broke up with me, I’d be okay. But that’s not how it works. I’m already in love with you.” She sobs a little. “I love you,” she says.
I pull back and look down at her. I want to believe she’s ready to say it. I want to just accept it, but this could be the adrenaline talking.
“I was sitting there running through all the things that might happen with that knife, all the horrible possibilities, and the thing that stuck out the most was that I’ve been so dumb. Holding back.”
“You’re upset right now,” I warn.
“Yes, of course I am. But that doesn’t change how I feel. I’m sorry it took being faced with losing you to get brave enough to tell you. Do you forgive me?”
“Forgive you?” I fold myself around her, inhaling the scent of her. “I would have waited forever if I had to. I’m just glad you figured it out now.” I think I’m holding her too tightly, but when I try to loosen my grip, she grabs on to me harder. “I love you, Annabelle.”
“I love you back.”
“When we get married—”
She pinches me. “Too soon.”
I smile into her hair. We’ll see.
Chapter Sixteen
Annabelle
One and a half years later
“ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES?”
I look behind me in the mirror and catch Anker’s steamy gaze. “This is a graduation gown. I am fully clothed under it.”
“That’s too bad.”
He’s all dressed up for my ceremony and party after. But he’s supposed to be at home. “What are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you at the university?”
He crosses the room to kiss me hello. “I wanted to see you.”
I loop my arms around his neck and stretch up on tiptoe. “Well, that’s always appreciated.”
“Everything is ready for your party at the Crescent after the commencement.”
“I didn’t doubt it would be. Tanaya’s parents said they were decorating this morning. I bet there are lots of streamers and balloons. Oh, and cake. I heard there was a big cake.” I stop talking. He looks kind of pale. “Are you coming down with something?” I feel his forehead. He doesn’t feel too warm.
“I’m fine. Look, Annabelle, I was going to wait for the party, but I don’t think I can—”
A voice erupts from the doorway, “There’s my baby!”
I close my eyes. Shit. She was supposed to meet us at the party later too. I don’t need this right now.
A cloud of perfume precedes her as my mother squeals and runs into the room. She’s on hooker heels and wearing a tight mini-dress. She’s still got the body for it, especially the parts paid for by her last husband, but she’s about twenty years too old for the look. That never stopped her before. “Oh, Anna-Banana, you look all grown up,” she gushes.
She pulls me into a hug, but I sense the moment she notices Anker. As usual, when a man is in the room, her demeanor changes. As well as her voice. “Well, hello there,” she intones in a breathy style. “And who might this scrumptious lumberjack be?”
“Mom, stop.”
“Anker Beck, ma’am.” He holds out his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”
My mother blinks at him and then looks at me. “You’re Annabelle’s boyfriend. She told me you were tall and handsome, but I think she could have elaborated a little more.”
“Mom, stop.”
“She makes me work for every compliment, ma’am.”
My mother’s eyes light up. “Oh Annabelle, he’s just delicious.”
I press my hand to my eyeballs. “Mom—”
“I know, I know. Stop. She makes me work for every compliment too, Anker.” She takes my hands. “I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. The daughter of a showgirl, and now look at you. Graduating with honors, your pick of jobs, and a handsome man.”
I’m not sure how a handsome man is really an achievement. I mean, I love him and I’m glad we’re together, but he’s not something I tally as an accomplishment. But I guess that’s the difference between my mom and me. “I’m proud of you too, Mom. I know you scrimped and saved to help pay for my education, and that wasn’t easy. You work hard.”
“Well, being a showgirl is—”
“Hard work, Mom. I know it is.” She hasn’t been a showgirl in a long time, but I know those were her glory days, and I’m willing to give her that. She’s been a waitress since she was about thirty. She doesn’t like to tell people that, though.
“I love you, baby girl.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
She scoops me into an overly-fragrant hug and whispers in my ear, “You keep your claws in this one, you hear? He’s a looker.”
Anker walks her to the door, against my better judgment. I keep hearing her advice in my head, even though I don’t want to. I don’t want to keep my “claws” in him. I don’t want to be so desperate. I love my mom, but I don’t want her life. I don’t want my self-worth to depend on the male gaze or my relationship status. I don’t want to keep a stranglehold on my youth, fearing every gray hair or wrinkle. I don’t want to use sex like some kind of honeytrap to snag a good man and keep him at my side with claws out.
When Anker comes back in the room, he’s smiling. “Well, she’s something isn’t she?”
“Something all right.” Tanaya once told me she’s a Samantha. I haven’t been able to enjoy Sex and the City since.
“You okay?”
“Sure. I can take her in small doses. I love her—I just don’t want to be her. She thinks I look down on her because she waits tables and used to be a dancer. But I don’t look down on her. I never have. Wanting to get away from the Strip wasn’t a reflection on her choices. I just wanted something different.” I grab my purse. It’s almost time to go. “Your color is back. Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah.” He crosses the room. “I love you.”
“I love you back.”
He grins. “I was a little afraid I’d come in here, and she’d have set you back again.” He pulls my back into his chest, nuzzling my neck. “Like last summer.”
I spent part of the summer visiting my mom and had a weak moment or two when I got back. “Tha
t was almost a year ago. I’m not that fragile now. I trust you and I trust myself. I feel bad that my mom thinks you have to change to snag a man, but I won’t let her insecurities ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.”
He squeezes me harder. “I’m glad you said that.” He lets go of me and turns me around, then he lowers to one knee.
All the blood drains from my face. “What are you doing?”
“I was going to wait and do this at the party, but I wanted this for us. Just you and me. No crowd.” He pulls out a jewelry box and my hand flies to my heart. He opens it and a beautiful silver ring rests against the dark blue velvet in the box. “It’s not a diamond. I know better after you made me watch that documentary with you.” My eyes get teary and the image of the ring blurs. “Marry me, Annabelle. Please.”
He doesn’t offer me long poetic descriptions of his love for me, but he doesn’t have to. He shows me in actions every day. He hasn’t wavered once in his devotion. He’s never asked me to change—in fact, he calls me on it when I don’t tell him how I really feel about something.
I never wanted to get married. I promised myself I wouldn’t. I was seven at the time, hiding in my room while the movers took most of our furniture out while my mom and her husband argued about who got to keep the television.
Even though we’ve been a couple all this time, I still thought we’d never get married. It just didn’t seem like a good idea. But his eyes are so full of love right now. There is no future without him in it. My heart just expands in heat and light. Of course, I’ll marry him.
“I suppose.” I drop to my knees and kiss him, crushing the ring box between us.
“You suppose.” He pulls me down onto the carpet and covers my body with his. “You suppose.”
“I love you. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He gets the ring and puts it on my finger. “I commissioned it from a Norwegian artist. The knotwork is Norse.”
I hold it up to get a better look. “I love it.”
He leans down to kiss me when we are interrupted. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Get off the floor, both of you.” Tanaya is standing in the doorway. “We have to leave in two minutes.”
“We’re engaged!” I yell, looking at her upside down.
She screams and runs in, joining us in the pile and we’re all laughing and getting our gowns wrinkled until her mother yells at us from the door.
“Let’s go get you graduated,” Anker tells me, smacking a hard kiss on my nose.
“I suppose.”
Epilogue
Anker
Two years later
“ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES?” I ask, catching my new bride’s eye in the hotel mirror. She’s beautiful—glowing I think.
“It’s a wedding gown.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Actually, I took my panties off at the reception.” She smiles at me. “I’ve been commando since before we cut the cake.”
I clutch my heart. “Such a naughty bride.”
I cross the room and take her in my arms. “Well, Mrs. Rogers-Beck, I don’t think you know what you got yourself into, but you’re hitched now.”
I kiss her the way I wanted to at the altar. Slow, deep, wet kisses that make her hold on to me tighter so she doesn’t fall when her knees get weak. I walk backwards until the bed hits the back of my legs and sit down, bringing her to stand between my legs and putting my head on her stomach and just holding her. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you walking to me down that aisle. I’ll never forget it.”
Her fingers ruffle through my hair. “That really was the best wedding I’ve ever been to.”
I find the zipper on the side of her dress and pull down. “As pretty as this is on you, I think it’s gonna look amazing on the floor.”
I get her out of it until she’s down to some kind of corset thing and stockings. No fucking underwear. She’s so sexy, so curvy and pretty in her white lingerie. “I’m leaving this on you for a while.”
“That’s fine, but I want your clothes off. All of them.”
She helps get me out of the formal wear, and I lay on my back on the bed, pulling her on top of me. She’s straddling me, but I’m not ready to fuck her yet, and if I let her have her way, our honeymoon night will last about ten minutes. She’s a greedy thing when it comes to my cock. I’m not complaining. I just want to draw this out.
“Come here.” I scoot her all the way up so her sweet, pink glistening pussy is right above my face. “Hang on to the bedpost and fuck my tongue.”
She gasps when I squeeze her ass and bring her down on my mouth. I push my tongue in deep, licking her sweet creamy folds while I hold her ass right where I want her. It doesn’t take long until she’s squirming against my face. “Oh, yeah. That feels so good, Anker.”
She’s grinding now, no inhibitions. I love it when she’s feeling this dirty. Naughty. The rest of the world only sees her mostly-serious side, her intelligence and compassion. I also get the filthy, raw side of her when no one else is around. And she gets mine.
It means more than I could ever say that she trusts me this much. That she knows nothing is off-limits, that our love only gets stronger when we don’t hold back.
Her pussy tastes so good. The downside of taking her like this is I can’t give her the dirty talk she loves so much when my mouth is full, but I don’t think she currently minds. Her thighs start trembling, and she’s going to come. I hold her right there, not letting her move away, and she comes hard and sweet.
She rolls to the side. “That was obscene,” she laughs.
“I’ve been dying for you for two days. That ‘bride can’t see the groom’ thing is a bunch of shit.” I push some hair out of her eyes. “So, Mrs. Rogers-Beck...”
“Please. We’re friends. You can call me Annabelle.”
I tweak her nose. “Tell me, wife, how do you want to get pregnant tonight? Do you want to be on top? Doggy-style? Against a door?”
She pulls me down over her. “Like this. So I can feel your weight and look in your eyes.”
I kiss her, letting her taste herself on my tongue. I imagined this night with long massages and drawn out orgasms, but looking in her eyes, I just need to be inside her. Now. I slide in. One stroke, balls deep. We both gasp.
“Like this?” I ask.
“I suppose...”
I rock into her. “You are asking for trouble, gorgeous.”
“I just signed up for a lifetime of trouble. Give me a baby, Anker.”
Jesus. She knows how that drives me crazy. We’ve spent the last few years talking dirty about getting pregnant, but she’s been on the pill. This time it’s for real. I have to hold back from driving into her too hard. The thought of her, walking around pregnant with our child. I want it so bad. I don’t care if it’s biology that makes it so hot—putting my baby in her belly is the hottest kink I know of, and we’ve tried more than a few over the last three and a half years. When we retired her old dildo, we replaced it with a whole chest of toys.
But baby making is serious business. No toys necessary.
“You want me to come in this pussy, gorgeous? Fill you up?”
“Keep talking,” she pleads as she digs her heels into my ass.
“My hot seed is going to fill you up. You’re gonna get knocked up good. You need my baby, don’t you?”
“Yes!”
She’s fucking close now. “I’m not pulling out. When I’m done, I’m going to stay inside you until I get hard again, and then I’m going to fuck you once more. You’re going to be so messy.” I use my hand on her jaw. “Look at me.” She opens her eyes. “Look at me when you come.”
She cries out and spasms around my dick, setting me off and pulling everything I have to give out of me. We rest for a few minutes and then I start pushing again. I’m not all the way hard yet, but I’m not soft either. “Think you can come again? Your orgasm will pull it all in deeper, gorgeous. You want to be a mommy, don’t you?”
> I reach between us and give her clit more attention, but she stiffens. “I can’t do it. Not again.”
“Don’t tell me no when I want you to come. You’ll come again. You’re going to come as many times as I tell you.”
She moans, and I give one of her nipples a little love bite. Sure enough, my wife soars into another orgasm, and shit, now I’m getting hard again already.
We fuck like this for a long time. I don’t pull out, just shelter in place until I’m ready to go again. We’re going to be chafed tomorrow, but we’ll always remember this night.
“Bet you didn’t expect this that night I kissed you in the bar,” I say much later. I’m drenched in sweat and the room smells like sex.
She passes me back the water bottle. We’re both so fucking thirsty. “I remember you left me in that office forever, and all I could do was obsess about what you were thinking.”
“I was thinking I wanted to finish what I started.”
“If someone had told me that night we would get married in a few years, I would have paid for their psych eval.”
I twirl a lock of her hair around my finger. “I knew.”
“You did not.”
“I knew something was going on. I kept trying to get your attention, but you always had your nose in a book.”
“I was reading about Thor and imagining you.”
“I got your hammer right here, babe.”
“Keep your hammer over there. I don’t think I can walk anymore.” She cuddles in closer. “I actually thought of your dick as Thor’s Hammer that first time I tasted it.”
“If you don’t want me attacking you right now, do not start talking about the first time you gave me a blow job.”
“Seriously, Anker. We have a plane to catch tomorrow, and I need to be able to walk.”
I grunt. I don’t think I can get it up again right now anyway, but I’d be up for trying.
She winces as she eases herself into a new position. “The wedding guests liked the new sahti recipe tonight. I think that one is going to sell well. It was a good idea to serve it instead of champagne.”