A knock sounded at the door and she groaned. ‘Who the fuck is that?’ She got up, Reggie following behind her, and opened the door. ‘Will. What are you doing here?’
‘What’s that…stuff on your face.’
‘Avocado face mask. Fancy a lick?’ I said, taking in the awkward glances and body language between my two best friends.
‘Not hungry,’ Will muttered as Skye came back the sofa beside me and Will bounced up and down on his tiptoes with his hands firmly planted in his trouser pockets.
‘Can I interest you in some wine?’
Will eyed Skye first. She hid her mouth behind her hand and lifted her eyebrows. ‘Yep. Wine. Alcohol is always good.’ He sat on the other sofa, putting his feet up on the coffee table. ‘Is this what women do when they’re heartbroken?’
‘Yes, it’s a secret, so don’t tell all the other men,’ Skye replied, rolling her eyes. ‘We’re having a catch-up, just the two of us, which is why you weren’t invited.’
‘I can help. Give a man’s perspective,’ he said, shrugging his shoulders.
‘Go on then,’ Skye goaded.
‘It’s like this. If he was a baker and his cheeky little baker’s trousers were getting a bit tight around the waist…’
‘Has he got this analogy from you?’ Skye asked as I shook my head.
‘You’d say to him, or perhaps suggest, that he needs to cut back on tasting his delicious recipes. Fair enough, you might think. But he’s working with delicious treats all day, every day. He needs to taste them to know how perfect they are. That cheeky little baker can’t stop eating them and you’d be a fool to ask him to stop.’
I narrowed my eyes as I stared at him. ‘I’m not following.’
‘Matt’s an escort, right?’ I folded my arms, now knowing where this was going. ‘You can’t ask him to stop meeting with women. Newsflash. That’s his job.’
‘How helpful,’ Skye said, shaking her head. ‘And you’re here because?’
Will glanced at Skye again but her eyes stayed fixed on our Game of Thrones marathon. ‘Can I crash here tonight?’
Skye continued to ignore him, and I was wondering what on earth was going on.
‘The sofa has your name on it,’ I said.
‘Yeah, sorry about that. I was doodling,’ he replied, smirking.
‘You’re hilarious.’
‘Can I have a shower?’ he asked, already getting up and making his way down to the bathroom.
I shouted after him, ‘Sure, help yourself, don’t you worry about it.’
Skye held her wine glass to her mouth, using it like a shield.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked. ‘That was weird.’
‘He’s weird.’
‘You’re both weird,’ I said. ‘That’s why I love you.’
‘Can’t we just ignore him for the rest of the night? We haven’t had any quality time together in ages.’
I thought back to last weekend, my frantic commitments and my date with Matt, which led to some high-quality hijinks in this very flat. Sigh. Would I ever hold his astounding cock in my hand again? Skye hadn’t come home that night, wasn’t here when we left for the hospital in the morning, and I hadn’t had time to ask her where she had disappeared to.
‘You weren’t here last weekend, lady. Where were you? Did you hook up?’
She got up, disappeared, and returned with a packet of baby wipes. ‘Nope. No. Absolutely not.’
‘Skye, do you have any spare towels?’ Will shouted from the bathroom.
She sighed dramatically and threw up her hands. ‘I guess I’m just going to have to go and help him, aren’t I?’
I narrowed my eyes as she disappeared to the bathroom but was distracted as my phone lit up, Matt’s name displayed across the screen. Letting it go to voicemail, I held it against my heart.
Not-really-a-break-up-because-we-were-never-together-in-the-first-place breakups were the worst kind.
* * *
‘I think it’s a beautiful piece of writing,’ Anna said as she scrolled through the article I’d emailed her this morning. It was the follow-up to ‘One Night Only’ and featured Sarah, Matt’s client. ‘Though I must admit, it stings a little bit to read about his experiences with another woman. I’m sure it was hard for you to write too. Oh!’ she said, laughing. ‘We’re all in the Matt club!’
‘Oh! Yes. Thanks for pointing that out,’ I replied through gritted teeth. ‘Anyway…Sarah is coming in today to read and approve it. I’ll get her to sign all the relevant documents if she’s happy.’ She pursed her lips and carried on scrolling. ‘But…are you happy?’
‘Yes. I’ll approve it for the next edition,’ she replied. ‘Great job.’
‘Thank you.’ I dropped my head and drew together the nerve to ask my next question. ‘Should I get Matt’s approval too? It is about him, after all.’
She pushed her glasses to the end of her nose and studied me. ‘I’m seeing him tonight,’ she replied. ‘I’ll ask him to read through it. That is, of course, if we’re not too busy.’
I winced, my lungs closing in on themselves as I gasped for a breath. When would that stop happening? The reaction to Matt so strong, imagining him with anyone else was physically painful.
‘Great,’ I gasped, holding onto my chest. ‘That’s sorted then.’
‘Indeed,’ Anna replied. ‘Hope the day goes quick!’
‘Super quick,’ I replied, getting out of her office as fast as I could.
When I returned to my desk, I found an email from Matt. A simple, Hey, you in the subject line, the email itself blank. I tapped on reply and my fingers hovered over the keys. I wanted to make them work, wanted to type out Hey, like all the complications didn’t exist and we could bask in the beauty that was first steps into a new relationship. Anna came out of her office, waving and smiling to staff members she usually didn’t have the time of day for. I could only come up with one conclusion. Matt’s dick really was magical.
I closed down the email and deleted his, knowing that after meeting Sarah this afternoon and the follow-up article going out, I really didn’t need to see him again. So why did that great freaking clap of thunder fork through my heart?
* * *
‘Stacey, Sarah’s here to see you,’ Vanessa said. I smiled, picking up the paper copy of my article and all the relevant documents before I went through to reception to meet her.
‘Hi, Sarah. Nice to see you again.’
‘And you,’ she said, shaking my hand.
‘Follow me and I’ll get you settled. I’ll make you a drink and leave you to it for a couple of minutes.’
She took her reading glasses out of her bag and I left her to make her a coffee. When I returned, she was smiling. A good sign. ‘You liked it?’
‘I think it’s fabulous,’ she replied, tearfully. ‘It explained everything beautifully.’
‘I’m pleased you’re happy with it.’
‘I’m not going to lie, I’ve been worried,’ she said, laughing. ‘But this’—she started reading again—‘it’s perfect. It captures how Matt made me feel, my reasons for meeting him, my relationship with my husband.’ Her voice caught on her last words. ‘Thank you.’
‘When Matt and I first met, we both said that we wanted to bring a humanistic side to escorting, to explain the reasons and try to blow away some of the stereotypes. I lost focus a little bit, but meeting you has allowed me to do that. I wish we could be less judgmental and just let people live their lives. If you’re not breaking the law or hurting anybody, what does it matter?’
‘Exactly,’ she replied, patting my hand. ‘You didn’t happen to find any other good escorts while you were researching, did you? Anyone you could recommend?’
‘No, I only interviewed Matt,’ I replied.
‘That’s a shame. I would have trusted your recommendations.’
‘Why?’ I asked, cocking my head. ‘Aren’t you seeing him anymore?’
‘No,’ she replied. ‘Don’t you k
now? I assumed you would.’
‘Know what?’
‘He’s finished escorting. Called me the other day to explain.’
I covered my mouth and dropped my head. ‘I haven’t seen him in…a while.’
‘He said he wants to concentrate on his studies,’ she said. ‘I thought you were part of the reason. I knew you struggled with it.’
‘No,’ I whispered, tapping my pencil on the table. ‘We’re not…together.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘It’s complicated.’ I laughed softly.
Sarah smiled. ‘Not anymore, sweetheart.’
Oh, if only she knew.
29
Matt
‘Stace, it’s me…again. Can you give me a call just to let me know you’re OK? Dad’s doing really well. To say he only had the surgery just over a week ago, he’s being his usual stubborn self. Anyway, can we talk? I need you.’
I’d lost count of the number of messages I’d left on Stacey’s phone, stopping count after twenty-two. Some were cheery and light—Hey, hope you’re OK. Call me—and others were oral examples of the depths of despair I’d reached since she left the hospital, making me wish I could run as fast as a taxi.
I miss you. Did I fuck up? I shouldn’t have said those things. I take them back. I’ll be your friend as long as you want, and if that means I get to kiss you occasionally or even sink into you when you’re unable to resist me, that’s fucking cool with me too.
Fuck. Desperation never sounded good. She didn’t reply. There was a missed call yesterday, from a withheld number. I hung on to the hope that it was her. Imagined she’d lost her phone or was borrowing a friend’s or…yeah. It wasn’t her, was it?
I dropped the idea of bombarding her with phone messages and texts, and went with a different route. An email sent this morning with a simple ‘Hey, you.’ I was hoping for a response, even just a ‘Hey’ would have been soul-reviving. By the afternoon, there was nothing and that hollowness started to seep wider until there was nothing else for it. I jumped on a train and found myself standing outside Turnip The Beet.
‘We’re about to close,’ Skye said as I walked through to the counter. Although her back was turned, I knew it was her by her bright pink hair.
‘Have I got time for coffee and a chat?’
She turned, open-mouthed, before another guy, who I remembered as Will, came through from the gents. ‘Hello,’ she said before glancing at Will.
‘Matt, isn’t it?’ Will said as he held out his hand. ‘I’ve washed them.’
A laugh burst through me as he broke the tension brilliantly. ‘Good to know.’
‘She isn’t here,’ Skye said. ‘She won’t be home from work until around seven.’
‘Actually, I’m here to see you. She’s ignoring my calls. I thought I could get to her through her best friend.’
‘Good plan,’ Will said as Skye gave him a death stare.
‘Take a seat and I’ll bring you a coffee.’
‘Plenty of milk, almost tea-like in colour. Two and a half sugars.’
‘Specifics,’ she said, smiling. ‘I like that.’
‘It’s something Stace taught me. Second meeting we had.’
She laughed. ‘I know. That’s such a Stacey thing. Be right back.’
‘So, what are your intentions?’ Will asked as we sat down. ‘In the absence of Stacey’s father, I feel I need to ask.’
I chuckled into the sugar pot. ‘My intentions are to make her happy for the rest of her life.’
He lifted his shoulders. ‘Fuck me. Can’t argue with that.’
‘It’s the truth.’
‘Good answer,’ Skye said as she brought through my coffee. ‘But aren’t there a few things we need to get sorted before we talk about the rest of her life?’
‘Fire away.’
‘How is your dad?’ Skye asked, and my smile appeared as her tone become softer.
‘He’s doing great, thanks.’
‘Is he home?’
‘Monday.’
‘Support covered?’ she asked.
‘Covered.’
‘Great.’
Will tipped his head. ‘Hats off to how you’re dealing with this line of questioning. Rather you than me, mate.’
‘It’s fine,’ I replied.
‘Of course it is.’ He smirked. ‘You’ve still got Stacey to face. This’—he trailed off, pointing to Skye—‘is nothing.’ I laughed lightly as Skye crossed her arms, and I wasn’t quite sure who she was directing her anger at, me or Will.
‘Stacey is my best friend. She’s been there for me more than my family. I’m looking out for her, of course I am. She’s a truly beautiful person who sees the good in everything and everyone. She never makes judgements and she puts every single person she even just meets before herself. She’s loved by all she comes into contact with. She’s strong and independent. She knows what she wants and goes for it every time. She’s never loved hard, Matt, and she doesn’t fall fast…until now.’
I let a breath slip out, one I’d been holding onto just as she started to speak again. ‘But there is something she just can’t shake.’ I nodded, understanding completely. ‘You had your reasons for escorting, I know that.’
‘Yes,’ I replied. ‘I did.’
‘If Stacey didn’t find that part of your life so difficult to accept, I would commend you for doing what you’ve done to save your father from sinking, but I can’t do that. Best friend rules.’ I smiled, knowing this girl only wanted the best for the woman she adored almost as much as me. ‘I don’t know where to start with the messy business of her boss…fuck.’
‘Sorry?’ I asked, leaning into the table. ‘Anna? What about her?’
‘I don’t want to have to go into specifics here.’ She blew her fringe up. ‘That isn’t necessary at the end of a long shift on a Friday afternoon.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘What she’s trying to say is…the boss’s vag is a bit close for comfort,’ Will replied, sitting back. ‘As it would be for many.’
‘Will…honestly,’ Skye groaned.
‘I’m lost,’ I said, trying to make sense of everything they were saying. Did she know about Anna’s proposition? How could she? Unless Anna told her. Fuck. I glanced at Skye and swallowed what felt like a brick before turning to Will. ‘Can someone tell me what’s going on?’
‘Let me get some carrot cake,’ Skye said. ‘And we’ll go from there, shall we?’
30
Stacey
‘That’s all for tonight. I appreciate you all s-s-staying so late.’
We held back until Anna stood up, waiting for her to leave the room like you would the Queen before dispersing back to our desks. She’d never kept us late on a Friday night and I had to wonder if she was simply delaying the need to go home by calling a meeting about the huge list of things she wasn’t happy with for next month’s issue.
My bra cup vibrated as I reached for my phone and pulled it out. I saw Skye was calling, probably checking what time I would be home.
‘Hi,’ I said, closing my computer down and locking my desk drawers.
‘Are you still at the office?’ she asked, an urgency to her voice.
‘I’m just leaving. I got trapped in a meeting.’
‘Is Anna there?’
‘Yes,’ I replied, catching a glimpse of her through her office blinds.
‘Are there others with you?’
I frowned. ‘A few. Why? What’s going on?’
I heard a deep sigh, then a few muffled voices until she came back to the phone. ‘You need to know something. Something important, but I’m not sure what your response is going to be.’
I sat down in my chair. ‘What is it, Skye?’
‘Anna lied,’ she replied. ‘Matt didn’t sleep with her. She propositioned him, yes, but he turned her down.’
The room suddenly turned into slow-moving pictures. Faces of colleagues leaving for the weekend, raising their h
ands to wave as they left, smiles, noise…it was all muffled and heavy. All I could hear was the sound of my pulse whooshing in my ears.
‘Stace? Are you there? Speak to me.’
I slowly moved the phone from my ear and put it down on the space in front of my keyboard. I remember getting up, moving on instinct to Anna’s office door and knocking on it three times, before hearing her bellow to come in. Glasses started chinking, the sound of a bottle scraping across the desk and put away into her…what was that? Her drawer? Possibly. I wasn’t sure. Anna looked up, blinked her eyes as if to get some focus, and painted on an all too sweet smile.
‘No home to go to?’ she said. I caught an edge of what I thought was slurring and as I glanced down at the bottle of gin peeking out her bag, she kicked it under her desk with her foot. Her heels had been abandoned beside her and she had replaced her readers with sunglasses.
‘Did you sleep with him?’ The words left my mouth without a second thought. Spilled out. Tumbled violently across the desk.
‘Sorry?’ She pleaded innocent but I knew as soon as her shoulders slumped, she wasn’t up to the fight.
‘Did you sleep with him?’
‘Whatever are you talking about?’ she replied with a wry laugh.
‘Matt,’ I clarified, helping her out, sensing she had checked out of this world and was in a daze of whiskey.
‘We have something in common, you and I,’ she slurred. ‘Something that holds us together.’ She held her head in her hands, elbows on the desk. ‘The men in my life don’t want me, Stacey…but they all want you.’ She lifted her head, finally looking at me behind those dark lenses. ‘He was worse when he thought you were available. I’d go as far as to say obsessed.’
‘I don’t know who—’
‘My husband!’ she spat out. ‘Why do you think I set you up with so many men?’ She tilted her head, laughing into the air. ‘I did it to get him off heat!’
Her laughter faded as she folded her arms. ‘He dropped the obsession when you were dating. Gave a little piece of it back to me.’ She held her thumb and fingers together. ‘A little,’ she mouthed, before raising her voice again. ‘Don’t think it was only you, though. It wasn’t just you.’
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