One Night Only

by Stewart, Lynsey M.

  ‘I have no control over how your husband behaves.’

  ‘No one has control,’ she said, pushing her glasses with her finger. ‘That’s what makes it so fucking exhausting.’

  ‘Did you sleep with him, Anna?’ She hadn’t answered my original question and I desperately needed to hear her answer.

  She exhaled a lengthy sigh. ‘He didn’t want me.’ She shrugged as she gave a lopsided smile. ‘An escort who fucks anyone…didn’t want me.’

  ‘Why would you—’

  ‘Lie?’ she asked. ‘I saw how much he wanted you, Stacey…another man who wanted you. From the minute you met, there was a spark…I couldn’t take it. My husband doesn’t want me, my kids have chosen to live with their stepsister… Jealousy screws you over.’ She shook her head. ‘But rejection kills, take my word for it.’

  ‘How could you?’ I gasped. ‘How could you lie to me?’

  She removed her glasses and dropped her head. Her exhaustion was evident. Why didn’t I see the devastation she hid behind those glasses? ‘I know this probably means nothing to you right now, but I’m sorry. Genuinely sorry.’

  ‘I know you’re my boss, Anna, but I thought we meant more to each other than this.’

  ‘I let it go too far,’ she said softly, pinching the bridge of her nose. ‘I wanted to hurt you, but I didn’t realise at the time how much I would hurt myself too.’

  ‘Why didn’t you own up?’ I asked. ‘You could have come to me and explained.’

  ‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘But I couldn’t face the conversation we’re having now.’

  ‘You made me question what we had, if we had anything.’ A sob escaped and I covered my mouth with both hands in an attempt to squash it back down again. ‘I doubted him. Judged him. Christ, all the things I said I wouldn’t do.’

  ‘He loves you,’ she said briskly, the hurt still evident despite her apology. ‘He’d crawl over broken glass on his hands and knees if he thought that would make you his.’ She sat back in her chair, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘You see, Stacey, you’ve got something people find incredibly attractive. You’re completely unaware of how enchanting you are. Self-effacing and tempting. Quite a mix.’

  ‘I know my worth, Anna, and I deserve more than this.’

  ‘And I deserved more from him.’ She pulled out an almost empty bottle of whiskey from her desk drawer, raising her glass after pouring it half full. ‘To bastards otherwise known as men or, more precisely, Neil…my husband.’

  ‘Go home, Anna,’ I said. I’d never felt so let down.

  ‘No,’ she replied, squeezing her lips together. ‘I have no home to go to.’ She pushed a glass across the desk, to where I stood with my arms wrapped around myself.

  Disappointment must have shone through me. How could she do this? But my mentor was cracking in front of my eyes and part of me—the part that hadn’t caught up with my anger—felt desperately sorry for her. I tried to push aside the typical Stacey reaction of trying to understand what led her to do this. Rejection, humiliation, jealousy, those feelings didn’t bring out the best in people, but all I could do was picture Matt and take a shaky breath as I tried to tame my urgent need to see him.

  ‘Care to join me?’

  ‘No,’ I replied. ‘I’m sorry, Anna, but I’m not ready for niceties.’

  ‘I understand.’ She took a long sip. ‘Go home. You have a wonderful man you need to speak to.’

  31

  Matt

  I was desperate to see her, had never felt anguish so deeply. Skye had talked to her on the train home, and said she was hurt by, but still concerned about, Anna. She’d left her at the office in a cloud of despair and as she left, Stacey being Stacey asked the security guard at reception to arrange a car to take her home safely. My heart leapt at that. She was amazing in a heart-flipping way, and I’d fallen for her the minute I saw Stash written on her coffee cup in black Sharpie.

  ‘She got a taxi from the station, said her legs wouldn’t carry her home,’ Skye said as she popped her head through the door. ‘I’ll head out, give you some time alone together.’

  ‘Oh, fuck,’ I said in a weird vibrating tone, like I was on a roller coaster.

  ‘You got this,’ she replied as she brought over a chocolate cake under a glass dome. I watched her as she retrieved two plates and a cake knife. ‘And if all else fails, this is her favourite.’

  ‘Thanks, Skye,’ I said.

  She placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘It took me a while to warm up to the idea of my best friend with an escort but crikey, you belong together more than jam in a sandwich.’ She smoothed her pink waves and caught a look in the mirror on the wall behind me. ‘Do I look OK?’

  ‘Gorgeous, why? You got someone you need to impress?’

  ‘I’m not sure he’s impressed by anyone,’ she replied. ‘Sarcasm is his default response. I never know where I stand.’

  I smiled, knowing the process all too well.

  ‘Oh, and don’t mention anything to Stacey.’ She glanced at me but looked uncomfortable. ‘I’m not ready to…explain.’

  ‘No problem,’ I replied as she headed for the door. ‘Skye?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Thanks for everything.’

  ‘She’s my best friend, Matt. I’ll do anything to make her happy.’

  ‘Me too.’ I smiled.

  ‘You’d better, or I’ll be after you with my dough hook.’ I gave her a thumbs-up. ‘I’ve left the keys in the door. Just lock up and turn off the lights for me when you’ve claimed your girl.’

  ‘Enjoy your night,’ I said. There was obviously a story Skye wasn’t ready to share. I smiled as she waved and closed the door behind her.

  The café fell silent, a slight buzz from the fridges in the corner a comforting sound. Where was she? Lights cut across the wall as a taxi pulled up outside. I stayed in my position on the bench, legs up on the cushions, head falling back against the wall. I could hear her voice, chatting away to the driver. A small laugh, but with a weary tone. Jesus, I’d missed her. My heart rate increased as thoughts raged of what was going to happen here. Did she want me? Could we give this a try? And the truth was, I didn’t have a bloody clue. She was still talking, something about the Pavilion choir and how he should give it a go. Every Thursday at seven thirty. I laughed, unable to contain the smile. She was beautiful perfection and I wouldn’t leave here until she was mine. I would blend into the corner if I had to, ask Skye for a job, but I wouldn’t leave here until she was crying, “Yes, yes, yes.”

  ‘All right, darlin’. Thanks for the company,’ she said.

  ‘Keep my card, sweetheart, I’ll be your personal taxi service. Anytime you need.’

  Stay back, mister. Abort, abort, abort.

  ‘Aww, thanks! I’ll see you around.’ I could see her wafting his card around in one hand, waving with the other. She gasped as she found the café door unlocked, pushing it open slowly. ‘Skye? You here?’

  ‘No, but I am.’ She turned to me in the corner where I’d been waiting for her, the one I’d adopted as mine. ‘Hey, you.’

  ‘Hey,’ she replied, dropping her bag. She smiled, bit her lip, and pushed her gorgeous red waves behind her ear. Knee-high leather boots—fuck—peeked out from under a long camel coat, and those rose gold rings that dotted her fingers were sparkling in the dim light.

  ‘I hear you’ve had quite a day,’ I said, but didn’t know why. It seemed like a good intro into the mountains of conversations we were going to have tonight. ‘Skye left cake,’ I muttered as she stayed silent. ‘Your favourite.’

  ‘I could do with some cake,’ she replied with a small smile, and Christ, I wanted to kiss her to make it flourish into something bigger, something I knew as good. This cutesy one was hard to read. I watched as she let her coat slip down her shoulders before she draped it over one of the chairs and took a seat as far away from me as she could. She had on a black top that wrapped around her, leaving a triangle of skin on her chest framing
those tiny freckles I adored.

  As she removed the dome off the cake, she inhaled deeply, and I couldn’t help but feel her around me. My body had been softly buzzing since we met, the frequency of it increasing whenever she was near me or…just a thought in my head.

  She watched as I cut two pieces and slid them onto the plates Skye had left, pushing one towards her. She broke off the edge and moaned as soon as it landed in her mouth. Images of my cock there led me to clear my throat.

  ‘Good?’

  ‘The best.’ Silence hung around us apart from those noises she was making, the same ones I’d heard in my ear as I sunk into her. She wasn’t making this easy. Raging erections never helped when you needed clarity. ‘How’s your dad?’ she asked as I crossed my legs. I didn’t need her noticing I was a second away from breaking free from my jeans.

  ‘Getting there. Thanks. Thanks for asking.’ She set my heart on fire in that conference room when we first met and I needed that, so desperately needed something that was mine and made me feel good. ‘Stace—’

  ‘Tell me what she offered,’ she asked softly. ‘Anna. What did she offer you?’

  ‘To pay my outstanding university fees and dad’s treatment.’

  ‘In exchange for what?’

  ‘One night.’

  She shook her head and pushed her finger gently into the frosting on her cake. ‘That’s what you need,’ she said softly. ‘Why didn’t you take it?’

  ‘Because of you.’ Her eyes closed at my words and her lips started to tremble. She pushed them together, and a tiny tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. ‘I couldn’t do it to you.’ She reached her hand over the table and I linked our little fingers together. ‘I knew it would be a step too far, that I’d shatter everything, lose you. Stace, I couldn’t lose you, so I said no.’

  ‘But what about your dad, the support costs?’

  ‘He’s fine, he’s great.’ I drew a circle on the table with my finger. ‘Beth found my Aunt’s will, Stace.’ She looked at me with all the hope in the world. ‘She’s left me money, but Beth wants me to have it now. She’s paid for my Psychology degree, went to uni and paid everything off. They didn’t want to give it to me because they were worried Dad would start gambling it away. I haven’t seen a penny, but my fees are zero. Done.’

  She lifted her head, squeezing her eyes shut, and more tears escaped.

  ‘The rest of the money has paid for Dad’s home support. They’ve done it for us, Stace. To give us a chance. I told Beth everything—my dad, rehab, the escorting.’ I sat forward. ‘How hard you’ve found it to accept. Beth loves you. You give her mum back to her every time you play your fucking accordion.’ She laughed out a sob. ‘She wants this to work. I want this to work.’

  ‘No more escorting?’

  I shook my head. ‘You’re looking at a part-time waiter.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘From Monday…but, yeah.’

  I pushed myself off the bench and knelt before her. ‘Stace, you’re all I fucking see,’ I rasped out, right against her earlobe, the place that makes her yelp out and whimper. ‘I’d do anything for you, to have you in my life. Anything.’

  ‘Oh, God. Beth’s the one who offered a lifeline,’ she whispered, her hands scraping my scalp. ‘Not Anna.’

  ‘That’s why she came to the hospital,’ I replied, kissing her wrist. ‘But I was a dick and you’d already left.’

  Her hands stopped. She rested her head in the space against my neck where her mouth usually teased me, before pulling away and looking visibly pained. ‘We argued that day. About me keeping you hanging around, dangling. Can’t live with your life escorting but can’t walk away either.’ She sighed. ‘Neil said something similar about me being a…cock tease. Is that what I am? Is that what you think?’

  ‘Jesus,’ I rushed out. ‘No, baby. Nothing was your fault. Not with Neil, not with me. Nothing. He was a shitty piece of work and my job was hard for you to accept. I completely understand that, always have. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.’

  ‘I could never walk away from you. I didn’t like the escorting, but I couldn’t walk away either,’ she said. ‘I just couldn’t.’

  ‘You were unexpected, Stacey Clifton.’

  ‘So were you.’

  ‘You hit me hard the day we met. I knew you came into my life for a reason. It was my time to have something good, something great, for myself. I love how you make me feel, Stace. This wasn’t a coincidence. Fate doesn’t care whether it’s the right time, or about jobs or circumstances. Fate finds a way.’

  I reached for her hands. She took in a breath and watched me, moving closer on instinct. ‘Have you heard of the invisible red thread?’ She shook her head. ‘It’s a Chinese proverb. I read about it the day we bumped into each other at the British Library.’

  ‘I remember the book.’

  ‘Some people believe that an invisible red thread connects people together who are destined to be.’ I pulled out a small ball of red string from my coat pocket. ‘It can tangle or stretch but never break.’ I ran it across her hands, watching as her breath hitched. ‘They say you’re tied to your soul mate at birth by a red thread to your little fingers.’

  Her beautiful green eyes met mine in recognition and she smiled as I started to tie one end to her little finger. I held up the other end in front of her. She took it from me and tied it to mine, all with a lip bite and wobbly smile.

  ‘Fate,’ she said, holding my face with the hand tied with string.

  ‘Fate,’ I repeated, tugging the string to make her hand fall to my knee. A giggle erupted, and it was fantastically her. ‘When I started my degree, I studied Existential Depth Psychology.’ She screwed up her face in confusion and fuck, she was beautiful. ‘It’s based on a model of human courage to live passionately, to your maximum potential, to understand that we all have the freedom to choose how we’re going to live our lives. I was so on board with that.’

  ‘I like the sound of it,’ she replied.

  ‘When you start the degree, you have therapy too, for different reasons. One of them is that it helps you decide which therapeutic intervention you’re more suited to when you go into practice. I thought I had it, you know. EDP was it. Making your own destiny, looking at the parts of your past and how they impact you as an adult. Stace, it’s like it had my fucking name written all over it.’

  She was staring at me in wonderment, like I had the most important things to say and she understood every part of them.

  ‘Tragedy could have been my fate. I could have gone the same way as my father after experiencing loss at a young age, but I chose to fight it. I didn’t accept that as my fate. I wanted more, I chose more, and that choice to fulfil my destiny, one I made myself…it brought me to you.’

  She smiled.

  ‘And everything I thought I’d figured out to that point?’ I raised my eyes to the ceiling, laughing as I shook my head. ‘You made me question it all.’

  ‘So, what do you believe in now? Fate or making your own destiny?’ she asked, her voice husky and low.

  I hesitated. ‘Both. Life is about joining dots. Nothing can stop you reaching the dots, they’re unavoidable, but what you do between them is up to you.’

  ‘Am I a dot?’ she asked, placing her hands on my face and pulling me to her mouth. I stopped a fraction away and rubbed my nose along hers, weaving my hand through her hair, tangling the red thread in her red waves.

  ‘No,’ I whispered against her mouth. ‘You’re a string.’

  My body took on another force. I felt like I could lift a house from its foundations, carrying it on my shoulders like it weighed nothing. I was up before she could take that shaky breath. I pulled her up, to me, round me, on me. Arms and legs and her and us. Time had kept me away from her, but I was never letting her go again. Wrapping her legs around my waist, she connected her feet and thrust her sweet pussy against my aching cock.

  ‘Stace…fuck. Tell me you’re mine, tell me it�
��s all been worth it.’ I could feel her warmth, her breath against my skin, her fingers trailing their way across my neck. Nerve endings prickled and pulsed, and if I didn’t get inside her against the salad cart in the corner—with just the right height ledge to sit her on and rock it out the window—I was making some hefty complaints to the manager in the morning. ‘Look at me.’

  ‘I can’t, you’re too perfect,’ she groaned as her ass hit the ledge.

  ‘Look.’ I pushed her face up, tilting it to me. We were a mess of red string, now wrapped around our hands, our arms, across our necks. It only helped to bring us closer together, and jokes of never being able to let her go seemed too futile. We knew that, even without the visual reminder. ‘I love you, Stace. I think I always have.’

  Her beauty made me lose my breath. I shook my head a little, squeezing my eyes shut because I couldn’t believe she was finally mine. It was like the blur from looking through binoculars, until you brought into focus the view you wanted to see. Her. That’s who I wanted and now she was pulsing beneath my fingertips.

  ‘We’ll need to scrub this salad cart clean before the morning,’ she said, laughter and lust colliding as her chest filled, pushing her breasts against my chest. ‘Skye will go crazy if she knew.’

  ‘Look at me,’ I repeated, needing my serious girl, the one she showed me glimpses of at exactly the right times. She gave me her full gaze and my hands begged to touch the places that were, unfortunately, still clothed. ‘I love you.’

  ‘I love you too,’ she replied, and I fell to my knees in exhaustion, finally looking up as she giggled against her hand. ‘I love you. I love you. I love you!’

  I pulled myself against her, using her body for strength, and dug my fingers into her ass as I yanked her forward on a yelp. Ah, there it was. Her amazing snort-filled laughter. This woman. Where did she come from? Who had sent her to me? Fate, destiny, whatever it was. I couldn’t rely on them anymore because fate is what you make it.