Opening the Door

by Michael Roberts

  When I hugged him good-bye Bill said he didn’t like the idea that we were two women living alone and we should think about moving in together permanently. I told him that we would consider it.

  Then he looked at me and said something that touched my heart. “Sarah, you are a good person. I know you like to think that you’re not, but you are. Deep down inside you are a lot like Beverly was at your age.” His eyes seemed to lose a little of their focus as he brought up some old memory of long ago. “I never liked her brother, or that scoundrel she was engaged to. I wish I had been wrong about them but I wasn’t. They were both worthless men and got what they deserved. I only wish she hadn’t been hurt so bad too. But she did what she had to do to keep out of jail.”

  I wasn’t sure how to take all of this in but deep inside I knew what he said was honest as truth from the gospel. There were tears in my eyes as I walked away.

  On our way to the store we struck a bargain. If I let Ann teach me how to make a chicken casserole she has to make cookies for my lunch tomorrow. I still don’t know what she puts in her cookies, (maybe crack?) but I am not the only one who is fanatical about them.

  Before our other friends tasted them they were puzzled by my addiction to these heavenly morsels. All I could tell them was “Cookies never judge. Cookies never ask silly questions. Cookies just understand.” They thought I was whack-o but after tasting some of her creations they are as hooked as I am. Cindy is frustrated because Ann won’t give out the recipe. When people ask for it she smiles and shakes her head.

  Ann said the casserole I made that evening under her guidance and using her recipe wasn’t “too bad.” However I noticed that she couldn’t look me in the eyes when she said it. While she was making my sugary treat later on I was talking to her in the kitchen. Being perfectly innocent I swear. I told her I was only there to keep her company but she chased me out anyway saying “These are for tomorrow and not before.” (Sometimes she is just so suspicious of me.) I only wish I knew where she manages to hide them. After all if you wait until one minute after midnight isn’t that technically ‘tomorrow’?

  The next day when I was heading to work Ann handed me a nice serving platter to share with Beverly. I know she will find a way to check and see if I did, so I need to do it. (But only with Beverly.) As I was leaving for work Ann was going for a morning run and said she would bring Bill some cookies later. (Okay, I will share with Bill too.)

  I was very good and did not scarf them down while driving. It was not for lack of desire, but because I enjoy savoring each and every delicious morsel while I am drinking coffee in the morning. When I got to the office Beverly was on the phone so I placed a couple in a napkin and left them on the corner of her desk. I went to my office and opened the books to begin studying for next semester’s classes.

  So far the only one of the philosophers that we are studying, who appeals to me, is a guy named Nietzsche. I think he ended up dying in a looney bin, but he does make a lot of sense. Maybe it doesn’t pay to be either too smart or too sane.

  The regular subjects were pretty straight forward. My method was to read a chapter, then read it again. I then complete the questions in the study guide and check my answers in the back of the instructor’s edition. After that I go back over the chapter and look the answers up the old fashioned way. Even the ones I had gotten right. After all it is not enough to be correct, you have to be able to prove you are correct.

  This may be tedious to most people but it works for me. Actually for every five hours of class time a week I spend roughly ten hours studying. I don’t know how people with kids can do this. Maybe I am trying too hard. But it beats the heck out of failing.

  Our phones in the office can double as an intercom. Around 10ish Beverly called and asked me to bring two cups of coffee to the conference room. Then added “Could you please bring in some more of those delightful cookies from this morning? Thank you.”

  Damn it! I am not some coffee girl gofer to bring people their snacks. Not to mention that I do not like to share Ann’s homemade cookies with anyone. On the other hand this was Beverly so I just said “Yes ma’am, be right there.”

  I put everything on the serving tray that we only use for guest clients, along with the plate of cookies. I tried not to cry when I was carrying the tray and looking down at them. (They looked lonely without me)

  The door to the conference room was closed so I gave a polite knock and walked in.

  When I did I was surprised to see Mr. Kostas and almost dropped my tray.

  “Good morning Sarah.” He smiled “It is so good to see you again. You are as beautiful as always.”

  Since the last time he had seen me my top was torn and my skirt was smeared in oil from climbing out of his company’s dumpster at Spartan Automotives. This was a very polite thing to say.

  “Hello Mr. Kostas. It is always good to see you sir. I hope you enjoy the cookies, my roommate made them last night, and she is a very good cook.” Whoops….almost forgot. “Also I want to thank you sir for that very thoughtful and generous gift you sent me.” I motioned down to my outfit, “As you can see I have put it to good use.”

  “May I get the two of you anything else? Since neither one of you uses cream or sugar then perhaps some Ice water?”

  They both politely said ‘No’ so I left. Making sure to close the door firmly behind me when I did. I don’t know what is going on but I do know that Mr. Kostas is one of her ‘special clients’ and privacy is always required by them.

  When I turned to go to my office both Charles and Christopher were standing there staring at me. Since they were blocking the hall way I waited to see what the issue was. Charles spoke first of course, his voice betraying his surprise.

  “You know Mr. Kostas.”

  “Yes.” Since the two of them were listening at the door it was kind of obvious.

  “How do you know him? Is he a friend of yours? Why did Beverly ask for you to bring the coffee and not Katie? How did you know how he likes his coffee?” All of this was from Charles, Christopher stood back quietly taking everything in. It is plain to see which of these two has the brains.

  “I did some work for him a while back. He is a nice gentleman and very polite. His granddaughter made some cookies last time we met, so I shared some of my friend’s cookies with him this time. If you want to know why Beverly asked me to bring the coffee then you will really need to take it up with her. Now if you will excuse me?”

  I could tell Charles wanted to ask more questions but didn’t know where to start. Christopher stayed quiet and appeared to be thinking about something. I am going to have to watch him a lot closer from now on. I don’t know why these guys are so excited about seeing Mr. Kostas but I am going to find out.

  As I was standing up to stretch out the kinks in my neck from being hunched over some books I heard Mr. Kostas and Beverly leave the conference room. When Beverly was walking him out he stopped at my office, held my hand for a moment and said “I can see Beverly has chosen well. I am glad you are her apprentice. I look forward to working with you too. Take care Sarah.”

  It was quiet in the office. No one was talking. The quiet tap of fingers on either key pads or calculators was also absent. More than a little strange.

  Beverly nodded towards her office so I followed her and closed the door. We sat and looked at each other for a minute. Some people are upset with silence. They have an overwhelming need to fill up every spare minute with inane chatter. Beverly is different.

  Beverly will stand quietly watching people. She judges them as much by the inflection of their voices as she does what each person’s body language says.

  We sat across from each other without speaking for a long moment.

  “He likes you.” She said with no voice inflection what so ever.

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “I think it is better to be liked then not to
be.”

  “Why are the others so curious about how I know him?”

  “That is a good question. However knowing you, sooner or later you will figure it out for yourself. By the way, we could hear you talking to them in the hall. Good answers.”

  “If you want them to know more then you will tell them. Not me.”

  She smiled, but I noticed that this smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I am glad we understand each other.”

  “Yes Beverly. Is there anything else you want me to do for you before I go see Bill?”

  “One last question. Did Ann really bake those cookies?” Oh crap, now she’s smiling again.

  “Yes she did. I’ll tell her you liked them.”

  “There’s no need. I am going to call her myself.”

  “Do you need her number?”

  “I already have it.” Crap, crap, crap….I know I didn’t give it to her. “Please tell Bill I sent my love.”

  “No problem Beverly, see you tomorrow.”

  The next time I checked my phone I saw a text message from Ann saying that she was leaving to go fix Bill a hot lunch. That means she probably took the cookies with her. Damn. Sometimes I just cannot catch a break.

  Because of my reducing everyone’s rent, and paying for the water heater at Ann’s place, money is a little tight right at the moment. Or at least tighter than I want it to be. Thankfully I do not have to pay for classes and tuition. I do have to pay for my instructors guides. However in my opinion they are worth every cent they cost.

  Of course on the bright side I was able to deposit the maximum yearly amount to my IRA. Not to mention having more than a fair amount in the bank. It is gratifying to watch it grow every month. This is the third time I have been able to make the maximum contribution. Sometimes the dollar amount of value goes down but since everything is being reinvested even if the shares go down in value then at least I will have more of them. No matter what else happens to me over the years I will have a little something of value for when I am old and gray.

  Maybe more than a ‘little’. Smiling now. Of course that depends on my holding together this “house of cards” I built everything on. That means keeping my secret problem to myself.

  I went to see Bill in the afternoon. Ann was there listening with rapt attention while he told a sea story of his youth. I approached quietly. He didn’t even notice I was there. The cookie plate beside him had barely any crumbs left. I listened to his voice without taking in the words. The words didn’t really matter to me. All that mattered was the inner light that came from him as he was speaking. Bill enjoyed retelling tales of his youth. I realized this may be the first time in years that anyone except Beverly or me wanted to hear what he had to say. Everybody needs to feel needed. I did and so did Bill.

  After he finished his story I brought out the papers for him to notarize. He tried standing up to greet me but Ann and I told him to ‘stay put’. His trying to get up was the reaction of an older style gentleman to rise when a lady entered the room. Why can’t all men be like Bill?

  I brought his ledger and other documents to his chair. He looked tired and said Ann had made him eat too much at lunch. His ‘office’ was really his garage so we offered to close up and bring in his Public Notary sign from the yard while he headed off to bed. The fact that he accepted showed how tired he really was.

  Leaving the house just before seven in the morning and not getting home until after ten at night does put a dent in one’s personal life. I need to spend more quality time with Dave but there are only so many hours in a day, especially when he doesn’t get off work until around five. We try to make our relationship work but I know he is frustrated. So am I but I need to keep doing this. The good news is that Beverly looked at my long term school schedule and said that after this year I will only have to take two classes at a time. Maybe she too feels I need a break.

  It is time for mid-terms exams this semester and I am torn between cramming for the tests coming this week and getting a jump on what next semester will bring. All I can say about this hectic schedule is that ‘Life happens, coffee helps’. That is why it was a total surprise when I looked up from my desk and saw Ann heading down the hall to Beverly’s office. WTF. I of course got up and followed her. She handed Beverly what was obviously a large tray of cookies and Beverly gave her a check.

  Seldom in my life have I been so totally caught off guard. All I could do was stare at the two of them. Beverly looked at me saying “Ann has graciously agreed to provide us with some delicious cookies for a meeting this afternoon.”

  My first thought of course was, ‘Where’s mine damn it!’ However out loud all I said was “What a wonderful idea. Would you like me to hold on to the platter and serve them with coffee again?”

  Beverly smiled and said “It won’t be necessary. That is part of Katie’s job. Please inform her that when needed they will be on the corner of my desk. I know you are busy cramming for your mid-terms and have to get back to your books. Ann has agreed to stop in and check on Bill the rest of this week so you won’t be distracted.”

  I left feeling both baffled and slightly betrayed, and told Katie what Beverly needed. She seemed miffed, that made me feel a little better, but not much. Ann stayed another 15 minutes and left. Somehow reading about payroll deductions and derivatives didn’t seem to make me any happier after that.

  Beverly’s meeting lasted more than an hour. When it was done Katie brought me the empty platter and said “Beverly asked me to return this to you.”

  Definitely sad now.

  When I got home to change clothes for school I got a wonderful surprise. Ann left a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter with a note: “You know I would never forget you, love Sis.” Hooray, hooray! I knew she loved me! And I love cookies.

  Dave came over to spend a little quality time with me. He brought spaghetti from Anna’s Pizza. Since he is such a good boyfriend, and to prove my love for him, I shared some of the cookies. But just some.

  He is off work both this Friday and Saturday night. We usually get out of class early on Friday so we made plans for him to be here when I get home. I promised there would be no studying allowed. At least until sometime Sunday afternoon. After all Dave needs some quality personal time too along with my undivided attention.

  Classes this semester seem more boring, mostly because Ben isn’t here to liven things up with his charming wit and off-the-wall sense of humor. Thankfully the Philosophy professor is going by the study guide that Ben gave me. The other classes are wonderfully predictably also. So far everyone is following the instructor’s book guidelines exactly. But I keep studying everything so there won’t be any unpleasant surprises. I still see Ben and Charlie as we pass each other in the hall and wish one of them was taking the same class with me.

  Ann is not happy that I don’t make time to attend her aerobics classes at the ‘Y’ but understands about my work schedule and school. She offered to bring over a work out video to my place so we can exercise together. She says that I am obsessive because I am always studying but she doesn’t exactly have much room to talk about obsessions. I did agree to have her come over with the tapes, but not when Dave is here.

  * * *

  The question that Ben asked me a while ago is still buzzing around in my head. ‘What am I going to do after I get a degree’? AKA: What am I going to be when I grow up? I have another birthday coming up soon, shouldn’t I at least have a clue about where I’m going in life by now?

  Things at work are getting busier which is a good thing. I usually end up doing about 12 -15 Notaries a week for the office. I am never going to get rich doing this but every little bit helps. I even did one for Christopher. He offered to pay me but of course I told him “No”, explaining that it was a professional courtesy. I think he was surprised, but I don’t know why.

  Beverly hired Ann to make and deliver platters of her coo
kies for some of her client meetings. Only a select few clients get the cookie treatment so I think that these must be the ‘special’ accounts that she handles personally. No one else in the office has had a chance to try any of Ann’s cookies so they haven’t caught on to how good they are. Neither Beverly nor I are about to tell them. After all if one of them tried to horn in on the cookie action there is no telling what might happen. Not to mention that blood stains are so difficult to remove from the carpet.

  Not impossible, just difficult. I ought to know. I mean I REALLY ought to know.

  I wish there was something more that I could do around the office, professionally speaking, to help but there just isn’t. At least not yet. Once in a while Beverly will call me into her office to show me some account and explain how and why she did something a particular way. These are always closed door meetings so I know their curiosity is killing the others. Good.

  On the other hand Katie has been feeling her oats and pushing me a little. In the beginning she was instructed to refer all of her supply needs to me. She seems to think I should be her little office helper. Her newest game is to wait until we run out of something simple, like paper clips, then tell me. Which means that I have to leave what I am doing and run to Office Max and get them. A couple of days later we will just happen to run out of staples and need them in a hurry. Again I have to stop what I am doing and get some. When we were leaving last Friday she asked me to gather up and take out the trash for her. This has gone on too long. She would never think of asking the guys something like this and she had damn well better think twice before expecting me to.

  I thought about this over the weekend and got a game plan in order. I brought it up just before the end of the Monday morning meeting.

  Of course I did it with a pleasant smile and a professional demeanor.

  “Excuse me. Before we all get to work I would like to bring up an issue about supplies. Boring I know but still necessary. Lately we have been running out of things and scrambling around at the last minute to do what should be routine tasks. This is inefficient and unacceptable. From this point onwards if anybody needs something extra please do not wait until the last minute to let us know.”