Apocalypse: Generic System

by Macronomicon

  Sure it is, buddy. I’m so good at it, I didn’t even realize I killed him.

  Gresh’s Subtlety Accolade Granted!

  +3 Body +3 Nerve

  Ding!

  Your party has cleared the Forest of Gnashing Teeth! Please take your rewards.

  “It looks like Ron must have killed the boss on the way through,” Jessica said as he brought her closer. “I guess we’re just going to have to roam out further to find…”

  Jeb couldn’t stop his eyes from sliding off of her face.

  “You killed the boss, didn’t you?” she asked, scowling.

  “I didn’t even know it was there!” Jeb protested. “His mastery of stealth was beyond reproach!”

  “I get the loot.”

  Jeb’s inner haggler howled in outrage, but she had him dead-to-rights on that one. Better to take the loss now than let resentment build up. “Fine.”

  Jebediah Trapper

  Mystic Trapsmith, Level 28

  Body 16

  Myst 56 +2

  Nerve 21 +3

  Abilities: Mystic Trigger

  Finger-gun clips: ‘ack’ X10 ☑ ‘pip’x10 ☑ ‘kip’ X10 ☑ ‘Alpha Strike’ ☠

  Full auto: ‘Juggernaut’☑ ‘Mark of Cain’☑

  Cane Auto: x4 BP ☑ HR ☑ BD ☑ OD ☑

  Cane Manual: x2 ‘just getting started’☑ ‘alt blinks’☑

  Shield: x4 ☑

  Armor: head ☑ torso ☑ legs ☑ upper arms ☑ lower arms ☑

  Projectile reflection x50 ☑

  Safety Phrases: restraints ‘3W’ ☑ ‘Scarabs’ ☑ ‘Plitskin’ ☑ ‘no homo’ ☑ ‘Room full of Charlies’☠

  Grenades ‘go boom’: ‘nut’ ☑ ‘rock’ ☑ ‘knife’ ☑ ‘authorize magical girl transformation’☠

  Aerial Bomb: x10 ☑

  ***1 day, 15 hours remaining***

  “Oh look, there’s Ron,” Jessica said, pointing out a pinprick in the far distance surrounded by a swarm of shambling pinpricks making their way up the side of the bald mountain.

  He could barely make it out. Was it Body or Nerve that boosted her eyesight. Maybe both? Body to make her eyes muy bueno, and Nerve to interpret the data? No wait, I’ve seen a Youtube video on this. There’s literally a limit on how much detail you can perceive based on the size of your eye and how much light wavelengths expand over distance…or something like that.

  So are her eyes magic now, or just tippy top of what a human can do? Or like so many other things, is it a moot, nitpicky point?

  These were the thoughts that occupied Jeb’s mind as they tracked down Ron’s army of the dead.

  Jeb was relieved to see the vast majority of the man’s shambling zombies were non-human as he came in for a touchdown at a reasonable distance from the necromancer.

  Ron must have seen him coming, because he cleared a spot for Jeb to land.

  Standing right beside Ron’s rough palanquin was a hulking skeletal brute in heavy armor, wielding a giant axe and overflowing with black energy. Ron’s personal bodyguard.

  Formerly Redbeard.

  “Flight?” Ron asked, shaking his head. “Oh man, I’m jealous.”

  “It’s not really flight. More like carrying myself,” Jeb said with a shrug.

  Ron rolled his eyes.

  “It’s flight,” He and Jess said at the same time, glancing at each other with a moment of startlement.

  “So, what’s up, man?” Ron asked, crossing his arms.

  “Got my class, thought I’d stop by and trade. I also wanted to hear what you know about the people to the northeast.

  “That camp of fifty or so people?” Ron scoffed. “I got out of there. It was getting too political for me.”

  “They’re not big fans of me reusing dead people, even though…” He rapped his knuckles on the Death-knight’s armor. “High level humans are definitely worth recycling. They just can’t get over the idea of someone using their corpse. I mean, come on, they’re already dead, what do they care? I’m not using their damn soul or anything.”

  “They’re not…” Jeb wiggled his fingers. “Evil, or anything though?”

  “Naw.”

  “Well, they’re going to try to raid the World Tortoise tomorrow,” Jeb said. “A line of disposable pawns would save a lot of lives.” Jeb glanced at the army surrounding them.

  If Ron signed on to the Tortoise Raid, Jeb might be interested in giving it a shot, since the man’s army would make an excellent safety buffer.

  On the battlefield, the speed at which things could turn to absolute shit would spin your fucking head, but if they had Ron’s undead to give them time, save stamina and realize they were losing…it could give them time to realize they were screwed and sound a retreat.

  “Nooope,” Ron said, waving his hand. “I know how this works. If I join up, they’re gonna burn through my army without so much as a ‘thank you’ and leave me back at square one.”

  “I’m not exactly combat effective in one-on-one battle, you know.” He said, pointing a thumb at himself.

  “You could negotiate for them to give you monster corpses.”

  “How do I enforce it without my army?” Ron asked, scowling, his demeanor becoming more agitated.

  “All right,” Jeb said, putting his hands up. “What if I paid you in advance with the army of dead monsters you’ll be expected to use?”

  “Well, that’s a different story.” Ron said, relaxing. “You’d have to sweeten the pot a bit since I don’t get to keep them. Raising the dead isn’t free or easy.”

  He tapped his fingers on his elbow.

  “I want a fire Lens from the mountain of fire,” He said, pointing toward the distant volcano. “And three stat potions. Preferably Body, but I can’t be picky.”

  “How about two potions and a tool for self-defense?” Jeb asked. “You mentioned not being combat effective.”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  Jeb fetched a sturdy stick from further down the mountain, binding a shotgun blast of telekinetic blades to the tip of it with Mystic Trigger.

  “Can I use one of your zombies as a demonstration?”

  “Knock yourself out.” Ron said with a shrug, a nearly shredded dino zombie limping to the front of the pack.

  “Here, Jeb said, holding the stick out. “If you say the words ‘Turnip factory’, buckshot will blast out this end.”

  Ron’s brows raised.

  His death knight stepped forward and took the stick out of Jeb’s hands, the necromancer seemingly unwilling to handle the object himself.

  “Pardon my caution,” Ron said

  “Understandable,” Jeb said as the death knight raised the stick and pointed it at the mostly destroyed zombie.

  “Turnip Factory.”

  SSSHHH-

  The zombie dino exploded into chunks.

  “You can just make those whenever you want?” Ron demanded. “Hax!”

  “Says the guy riding a palanquin.”

  Ron sat back in his chair and clicked his tongue. “Walking was getting tiresome…Alright, I’ll drop one of the potions in exchange for four shots on that shotgun wand.”

  “Jessica, are you okay with giving up a couple potions?”

  “In exchange for the next four bosses.” She said with a shrug.

  “Four!?” Jeb demanded.

  “There’s the one you already owe me, “ She said, ticking them off with her fingers. “The one I would have got anyway if we were splitting them fifty-fifty, and the next one to actually make up for my lost share of the potions, the fourth one to see some kind of benefit from the deal. I think that’s a pretty good offer, all things considered, since under normal circumstances, I would have gotten the fourth one as part of the split anyway.”

  “You already traded the boss I owed you for all the loot that time around.”

  “The loot sucked!”

  “Not really my fault, is it?”

  Jessica turned red and scowled at him, her freckles standing
out on her cheeks.

  “Alright, I’ll give you the next four, but after that it’s me then you.” She wasn’t wrong about number two and four belonging to her anyway. Jeb just put some pressure on her so she felt like she’d gotten a good deal.

  Turns out humans are much better negotiators than fairies.

  “Fine.” He turned back to Ron. “You got a deal. I’ll meet you there with your stuff and see about getting you an army.”

  “Alright.” Ron nodded. “Did you still want to trade?”

  “I figure I’ll have more when I meet you there,” Jeb said, waving as he and Jessica rose up into the air.

  A moment later he had a thought and dipped down, just as Ron was turning to leave.

  “Do you care if your monster corpses are dismembered?”

  “I can patch ‘em back together, but it takes a lot less Myst if they’re relatively whole,” Ron said.

  “Got it.” Jeb turned and rejoined Jessica in the sky before the two of them headed off to the west, aiming at the volcano while Ron turned towards the northeast.

  ***1 day 8 hours remaining***

  You have gained a level!

  You have gained a level!

  Acting as the support was a whole different ball game. Jeb had to make sure he didn’t directly interact with the bosses as they came across them, instead doing crowd control from above for Jessica. The assassin flickered around them, making pinpoint turns at speeds that upset his stomach to watch, each turn accompanied by a spray of blood.

  At the top of the mountain was a giant goat with phenomenal horns surrounded by hordes of smaller ones. Jessica had a little trouble when the big one’s horns unfurled and began whipping around like tentacles while firing beams of energy, but she eventually found an opening to inflict a major wound on the creature’s neck.

  After that she danced around the creature a good ten minutes until it ran out of steam, then ended its life with a quick slash.

  Beyond that, the rocky mountains turned…flame-y. All the scraggly brush that supported the hardy goats was burned away by the jets of fire erupting from the earth. Rock monsters reminiscent of the one he’d seen on Galaxy Quest seemed to be the creature of choice.

  Some of them were tougher with an obsidian sheen and flames spurting out of their joints, and those ones were just as liable to toss a fireball as try and squish the puny humans to paste.

  Jessica switched weapons to a heavy mace and used it to crack apart the monster’s stony exterior, forcing them to bleed magma.

  The boss was a ten foot monstrosity with heavy obsidian armor and powerful flame magic. Jeb thought he might have to step in several times, but Jessica was able to chip the creature’s armor away by the skin of her teeth before driving Razorback into its weak core with a powerful thrust.

  The Golem sank to the ground, collapsing onto its face.

  When she drew the weapon back, it was missing the last third of its blade, ending in a glowing white stub.

  Aw man…

  Seeing the first treasure he’d ever found get destroyed sent a little pang of remorse through his heart, but he knew it couldn’t have lasted forever.

  They spent most of their time scanning the mountain, searching the flamy-est bits for fire lenses.

  After they found one in the largest geyser on the mountain, they decided it would be worth their time to check a lot of them.

  There was only a lens in one out of every six or so geysers, but being able to fly around the mountain, they were able to spot and identify several dozen flame geysers, netting them a healthy profit of flame lenses.

  All the lenses looked and felt like some variation of coal with a gentle flame rolling off of it. Jeb had to point out the pieces he suspected were lenses just so he didn’t grab an actual piece of coal.

  In the end their haul was such:

  5 flame lenses, ranging from large to small, looked like regular lumps of coal.

  1 Large Geysering flame lens the size of a fist, with the appearance of compact bituminous coal.

  1 Small Pure Flame lens, about the size of a golf-ball, but lumpy and oblong, with the jagged, glassy appearance of anthracite coal.

  1 Noxious Flame Lens, sized between the first two, with the appearance of Lignite streaked with a pale impurity.

  Raw Flame Lens (Vars.)

  The common flame lens is used from applications from cooking in homes to fireballs created by the most powerful wizards. The utility of creating fire on demand will always be highly sought after in every sector, making these lenses somewhat valuable, despite their relatively common status among Lenses.

  Raw Geysering Flame Lens (large)

  Geysering Flame lenses have an element of high pressure in their nature that causes the created flames to manifest more violently, at a higher energetic state than a normal flame lens might. This increase in volatility makes this a dangerous choice for home use, although they are highly sought after for military and industrial applications.

  Raw Pure Flame Lens (Small)

  Coveted by craftsmen across Pharos, the Pure Flame Lens creates a beautiful blue flame that achieves the highest temperatures with the lowest amount of contaminants. Rarely found in nature, this lens is of tremendous value to those who work with metal for a living.

  Raw Noxious Flame Lens (Normal)

  Tinged by a metallic impurity, the Noxious Flame Lens creates flames accompanied by toxic fumes that can disable or kill those exposed to it. Unsuitable for use in home or industry, Noxious Flame Lenses occasionally see use in warfare; however, their use is a violation of the Sacarus Accord.

  Hmmm…. Got some good goods, Jeb thought, eyeing the lenses. He was tempted to hide the pure flame lens from Ron when he came back, but he’d only agreed to give the man one, and Jeb didn’t think the necromancer would choose the small lens over the more explosive large one, or even the noxious lens, giving his undead creature’s presumed immunity to toxins.

  If the necromancer did take the small, high quality one, that simply meant Jeb would walk away with the geyser lens, which would presumably make an excellent weapon – on the military scale – with a little sanding, shaping and polishing to focus its beam on a single target rather than exploding in his hand.

  I don’t think I have time to do that…

  The loot they got from clearing off the volcanic range netted them two more Potions, – Body and Myst – along with a gold Ring of Body, a magical shield, a Feathersteel chain shirt, a Weighted Greataxe, Anklets of Retraced Steps, and a Stein of Bottomless Beer.

  Jeb took the Feathersteel chain shirt and the ring, switching out his Myst Ring for it. Jessica picked out the Anklets of Retraced steps and Weighted Greataxe.

  After a few hours of heated debate, they agreed to shared custody of the Stein of Bottomless Beer.

  The shield was added to the Barter pile, along with a couple of Jeb’s regular fire lenses.

  One of Jessica’s accolades gave her +5 to Myst, so once she got past the horrifying headache and alarming nosebleed, Jeb taught her how to draw in Myst, with the intention of forming a core.

  He told her to imagine her most ideal magic, something she thought was incredibly cool, and build an image around it.

  “Why do I have to think it’s cool?” she asked, still dabbing blood out of her clothes.

  “Because it works better if you think it’s cool.”

  “Maybe you know in your head,” Jeb said, tapping his skull. “That creating plants is a handy, self-sustaining power, and a rational choice to take…but if you don’t feel it, well, it’s probably not going to work.”

  “Is that how Ron got his power?” She asked.

  “Pretty much. Ron was probably one of those nerds that played nothing but necromancer on Diablo.”

  Jessica spent a couple hours concentrating, but failed to manifest a core.

  It took me days, and I had way more Myst than her, so I’m not surprised. But if she’s able to manifest a core of any kind, even if they’re little tr
icks, it’ll add more options to her toolbox.

  Once she decided to take a break from trying to form a core, they packed up and headed Northeast, sailing above the forest at eighty miles an hour.

  After the wind problem reared its head, Jeb had been able to solve it by extending a section of the field that supported him into something of a windshield, baffling the rush of air and making it possible to see where they were going at speeds faster than sixty MPH.

  It only took about an hour to fly the two of them from the top of the volcano to the other safe-zone, then they walked the rest of the way to the safe zone with the smoke of a dozen campfires rising above it.

  Didn’t want to advertise what he could do just yet.

  ***1 day 3 hours remaining until Safe Zones expire***

  Chapter 10: Colorful Characters

  The situation at the safe zone could only be described as ‘tense’. Some thirty men and women stood at the edge of the safe zone, forming a human wall that denied Ron access to what appeared to almost be a little cobbled together village.

  Their weapons weren’t drawn, but a few hands were heading that way.

  “We never arranged for any kind of deal with you. None of us feel safe around your walking corpses, so beat it.”

  “Oh, you don’t feel safe!?” Ron asked, eyebrows raising in mock astonishment. “So you turn away an honest offer of help. Tell me, what other decisions are you making based on how you feel?”

  “Honest offer? You want two stat potions in exchange for maybe helping us? The way I see it, you’re just as likely to –“

  “Wait up!” Jeb cried, clomping forward on his cane as fast as he could, pushing through the army of shambling corpses before the guy could say the wrong thing and piss off the best source of disposable troops they had.

  “Who are you?” the man in front asked, glancing at Jeb.

  “I’m the one that offered to pay Ron to help the raid. I thought you could use the extra bodies.”

  Ron snorted.

  The man’s eyes narrowed, leveling a flaming spear at Jeb. “Now listen here -

  “Eddie! Wha’s goin on out there?” came a reedy voice deeper into the safe zone.

  “Shit,” Eddie cursed under his breath.