Rancid: A Zombie Novel

by P. A. Douglas

  “Thanks,” Noel said, rubbing the shaved side of her head. “Yeah, my parents hate it.”

  “Well, I think it’s cute. Really.”

  “Thanks. I like it too and that’s all that matters.” Noel returned her gaze to the cell entrance door. “When do you think they’re going to be coming back?”

  Chelsea shrugged.

  “So, what’s the deal with… well, you know?” Noel said, looking up.

  “I don’t follow,” Chelsea said.

  “The helicopter. We getting the hell out of here or what?”

  “Oh, that.” Chelsea ran her fingers through her hair. “That belongs to my boss.”

  “No offense, but I could care less who it belongs to. I just want to know that we’re getting the hell out of here sometime soon.”

  The instant her words came out her mouth, she wished she hadn’t said them. If she was going to make sure she had a seat on the first ticket out, she needed to know who was in charge and who owned what.

  Noel smiled, then continued. “Well, what I meant to say… is, Who do you work for?”

  “I work… well. I worked for the G.A.C. south of here.”

  “Oh, that’s so disgusting. You talking about the freaking golden arch factory place? That’s so nasty!” Noel put her index finger in her mouth for emphasis. “Why the hell would anyone work there?”

  “You mean to tell me you have never had a Golden Burger before?” Chelsea asked.

  “Not no, but hell no!” Noel insisted. “You do realize that it’s called gac for a reason right? Because that’s all it is. If you eat it, it makes you gac. And besides, I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat anyway.”

  “Yeah, it is pretty lame.” Chelsea agreed. “I guess I got sucked into the American dream. I think that’s been the only thing keeping me from leaving.”

  “That lame, huh?”

  “Yeah… It’s that lame.” Chelsea sighed, falling silent. Her eyes drifted to the floor then at her feet.

  “What?” Noel asked, able to tell that something was on Chelsea’s mind.

  “It’s just that my boss, Mr. Watts… He’s just…”

  “He’s what?” Noel asked, sure to remember that name.

  “Well, there’s really no other way to put it other than he’s a selfish swine!”

  “Wow, been holding that in much, have we?” Noel grinned.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that…”

  “Don’t worry about it. I don’t need to know.” Noel said, throwing up a hand. “Besides, what the hell is taking those two so long? I’d feel better if we went to check on them. Then get the hell out of here. We can pick this little conversation back up once we’re airborne. How’s that sound?”

  “Deal,” Chelsea said, smiling.

  They both stood, making their way toward the door leading to the cells. As much as Noel liked Chelsea, she was mostly just glad to know that she had one person on her side. Now all she needed to do was get Watts to like her too. Maybe then she would be set in finding a front seat on the helicopter when it did decide to get the hell out of Dodge.

  Neither one of them really knew where to find the men. Chelsea had more of an idea, because she’d walked through the precinct earlier. The only part of the police station that Noel really knew was the lobby. And she knew it well. She had probably spent more than a total of four hours, out of the dozen times that she had picked up Jared, when he was released. He was always getting into trouble for vandalizing, or breaking and entering. He had always just blamed his trouble on the way he dressed, or the fact that he was a skateboarder. Noel knew better. He was a troublemaker, not someone who just got profiled. That was why she liked him. He kept things exciting.

  They walked through a narrow hall that had doors along both sides of the walls. She was glad that Chelsea was in the lead. It kept Chelsea from realizing that she was crying. She missed Jared, and still found herself not being able to accept that he was never coming back.

  Ahead, one of the doors kicked open. Joe and Dane both stepped out into the hall engaged in a conversation.

  “… and that’s it. Just clean it up like that?”

  “Yep, pretty much.” Dane said. He looked rough. His complexion had grown pale and the bags under his eyes were getting darker. It also didn’t help that he was sweating up a storm. Tom’s corpse couldn’t have been that heavy.

  “So let me get this straight,” Joe said, wiping his hands on his jeans. “This Watts guy expects you to clean all this up and you’ve already lost, how many employees?”

  “I don’t want to even get into it,” Dane said, tossing his hands up in surrender. “Watts is a real piece of work. Let’s just say that much.”

  “Definitely not wrong there,” Chelsea said, butting in on the conversation.

  “Hey girls. We were just headed your way to check on you,” Joe said. “Sorry for the hold up. Dane here was filling me in on what’s been going on.”

  “It’s okay,” Noel smiled, happy to have Joe in her sight. “We barricaded the back door. Could have used some help.”

  “Good,” Joe grinned, returning the smile to Noel. “Let’s go take a look at it. Make sure it’s up to code.”

  “Oh… and us ladies aren’t able to do it, is that it?” Noel put her fists to her hips.

  “No, that’s not it.” Joe said, patting her on the back. “Just want to see how great of a job y’all did.”

  The four made their way back down the hall toward the back door to look things over. While they did, Dane continued to fill them in on what had happened so far. He also showed them his hand and what had happened to his friend and co-worker in the supply closet. Noel wanted to tell Dane that he was fucked, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. In a way, she felt like he already knew. It was written all over his face. He seemed on edge. Scared. Not scared in the sense that they all were, but scared like he knew it was over for him. His time was up and it was just a matter of his body finally giving up on the fight that he would inevitably lose. Noel frowned, watching him walk along. He looked like crap. As sad as it was for him, she frowned because she didn’t want to be anywhere near this dude when his body did finally call it quits. She didn’t like the idea that he was here with them now. If it were up to her, this dude would be locked up in one if the cells already. Having him around was just endangering the rest of them.

  “If you weren’t one of the police sent out with the cleanup crews, then…” Chelsea asked.

  “I was… well, I’m on duty. Me and my partner were on third shift this week. They rotate the officers every week.”

  “So, it was just you and one other cop to patrol the entire town?” Dane said, confused.

  “It’s a small town,” Chelsea insisted, speaking up for Joe.

  “Yeah, it’s a pretty small place,” Joe confirmed. “Even during the day we only have three units on patrol at a time. Aside from the kids snooping around at night, nothing really ever happens around here. At least not till now.”

  “Where’s your partner now,” Chelsea asked.

  “Officer Barrett.” Joe’s head dropped low, his eyes scanning the floor. “He didn’t make it.”

  “A lot of people didn’t make it,” Noel interjected.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Chelsea trying to sound sympathetic. She just sounded afraid.

  Joe shrugged Chelsea off, looking at the barricade that Noel and she had made. It looked fine. Assuming the cabinets were full, which they were, it would hold. With the door locked, nothing was getting in.

  “You move these on your own?” Joe asked, patting Noel on the shoulder.

  “Yep.” She said, he shoulders sore against his patting hand.

  He rubbed his hand through her hair shoving her playfully.

  “Awesome,” he said. “Looks like it’s going to hold.”

  “Hey, I helped too,” Chelsea said.

  “Well, it looks good.” Joe smiled. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s go up front and talk abo
ut getting the hell out of here.”

  “Finally!” Noel said.

  “You mentioned the pilot is up front with a few other people?” Joe asked, looking at Dane.

  Dane nodded, holding his balance against the wall. His hair was soaking wet and his skin was turning whiter by the minute. With his hand no longer in his pocket, everyone could see the bloody mess seeping through the bandages.

  “Man, you look like shit,” Noel said, saying what everyone else was thinking.

  “I’ll be fine.” He wheezed. “I just need to lie down. I did lose a lot of blood, you know.”

  “No… it ain’t that…” Noel started to say, but Joe nudged her to keep quiet.

  “Well…” she shrugged. “What about Tom?”

  “He woke up right after we set him in the cell.” Joe said.

  “Exactly my point.” Noel said, staring at Dane.

  The room fell silent. Sorrow and fear fell on the group like a thick fog. If they were going to do something to help or detain Dane, it needed to happen real soon. He was going to turn eventually and they all knew that. So did Dane. His eyes were glossed over showing his regret and frustration with this situation. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He struggled to open it, revealing a small strand of photos cased in plastic.

  “That’s my wife,” He said, spitting up red plasma. “Been married a long time, you know. I’d like to call her if I can.”

  “She’s pretty,” Chelsea said, not actually getting close enough to Dane to take a look.

  “And these are my two boys. They’re all grown now. I need to tell them I’m proud of them. I haven’t told them that enough, you know.”

  “You’ll get that chance.” Joe said. “Don’t give up, man.”

  “Who the hell said I was giving up?” Dane stuffed the wallet away and stood up straight. Forcing back a fit of coughing, he said, “I’m fine. Seriously… like I said, I just need to lie down for a while.”

  “We know, Dane”. Joe started to say.

  The sudden scream from the front of the building cut him off before he began.

  “What the hell was that?” Chelsea said.

  “Sounded like June!” Joe insisted. “She still here?”

  “Yeah.”

  Before any of them could reply or step into action, the door leading into the hall kicked open. It was the pilot. His face was flush with fear and his hair was a mess from running down the hall.

  “Come quick!” he cried. “It’s Mr. Watts. He’s lost it!”

  FOURTEEN

  With the pilot in the lead, the five darted down the hall to the room where Benjamin Watts, June, and Shorts had been left.

  “Where the hell did he get that gun?” Chelsea gasped.

  “June keeps one in her desk drawer,” Joe said. “You alright, June?”

  She was being held in the corner of the room. She nodded her head with hands raised in the air in surrender to Watts.

  “Oh, dear God. Joe, you’re alive.” June relaxed a little in relief. “Where’s Officer Baily?”

  “Shut the hell up!” Watts shouted, shoving the revolver in her face. “I’m running this show now, damn it.”

  “Benjamin, please calm down and lower the gun.”

  “Shut the hell up, Chelsea. I’m in charge. Not you, or you or you… and definitely not you, prick!” Watts spit toward Dane, while keeping the gun on June.

  The room was the first beyond the lobby. It felt claustrophobic with everyone crammed in. June had her back against the wall behind her desk. Watts was standing beside her desk, close to the supply closet. Everyone else was standing shoulder to shoulder just inside the room. Joe stepped out in front of the group and put an arm up, pushing the others back, and suggesting that they keep their distance.

  Chelsea looked around the room. Something was missing. The homeless old man, Shorts, she didn’t see him anywhere.

  “What the hell happened?” Joe whispered over his shoulder.

  “Shortly after we came back down from the roof, Chelsea told me I should check down here. I did. And well…” The pilot paused, then continued, “He seemed cool at first. Mr. Watts was rantin’ a little to himself, but then he just flipped out and pushed that big lady aside. He started diggin’ through her desk. I didn’t know what to do, so I came to get y’all.”

  “You did the right thing,” Joe assured, reaching for his sidearm.

  Watts puckered his lips and mimicked Joe, saying, “You did the right thing.” His voice was high and feminine. “Shut the fuck up and don’t even think about it cop. I own this town. I own you!”

  “Okay, Mr… Mr. Watts is it? What do you want then?” Joe said calmly, while easing up on his gun.

  “I’ll tell you what the hell we’re going to do!” Watts shouted, shoving the revolver even closer to June’s face. “You’re going to start by opening that supply closet.”

  “What the hell is that going to… p-prove?” Dane started coughing as he swayed.

  “If that man in there is truly dead… then how the hell is he beating against the door to get out?” Watts protested. “Dead people don’t come back to life! That’s just crazy!”

  The shouting of Watts’ animated voice had only excited the zombie in the closet more. The door shook.

  “Look… Mr. Watts…” Joe’s voice remained call. “Even if that man in there isn’t dead like you say. It’s best we leave him be. It’s obvious he’s upset. We don’t need to let him out. He might harm somebody.”

  “Come on!” Chelsea protested. “This is bullshit!”

  “No one fucking asked you, woman!” Watts shouted, waving the revolver. “I tell you what else we’re going to do… Not only are we going to let that man out of the closet, we are going upstairs, getting in the helicopter, and radioing for more cleanup crew members. We aren’t leaving here until all of this is cleaned up. Is that fucking clear?”

  “I like that idea,” Noel grinned, raising her hand. Her black fingernail polished fingers poked out from behind Joe.

  Chelsea nudged her.

  “What?” Noel grimaced. “I wasn’t kidding. The sooner we get in that helicopter, the better!”

  “Noel…” Joe said disapprovingly.

  “Thank you.” Benjamin proclaimed. “Finally, someone on my side.”

  Noel smirked.

  “Figures it would end up being the stupid mall rat.” Mr. Watts groaned. “Forget thinking you’re getting a ride with me, Goth-girl! Go back to Hot Topic or hell. Whichever you came from.”

  Noel’s grin quickly faded.

  “Not to contradict you, Mr. Watts.” Joe disagreed. “But, although you’re clearly in charge. I don’t doubt you there… But who are you to say who gets a ride out of here and who doesn’t?”

  “Wow… goes to show they let anybody be a cop these days. Go back to Puerto Rico, you stupid Spic. I call the shots because it’s my damn bird. That’s how. There’s only room for so many of us. There’s the pilot and myself, of course. Then Chelsea, because we still need to go on that date… and hell, I might change my mind and actually bring the Halloween whore. She’s kind of kinky looking. I could get into that.”

  “Screw you, pal!” Noel shouted.

  “That’s the point, sweetheart.” Watts laughed. “But enough fooling around. You… yes, you. Hispanic boy. Take out that gun and drop it. Do it now! That’s right. Take it out and drop it to the ground.”

  Joe slowly removed his pistol from its holster, and then set it lightly on the floor before him.

  “What the hell are you doing, Joe?” Noel protested.

  “That goes for you too, prick. I know you’ve got that gun. Yes, you Dane.” Watts shouted looking to the back of the group. “Get rid of yours too.”

  “I can’t believe this!” Chelsea scorned.

  “Believe it, sister.” Watts said, as the sound of Dane’s gun clinked on the floor at his feet. “Now, both of you kick them over to me.”

  They did as they were told. Watt
s looked serious enough and Officer Joe Montoya didn’t want to risk giving this scum any reason to pull the trigger on June. She was a nice lady. A little overweight, but nice.

  “Talk about a rough first day on the job,” Joe grumbled as both guns skittered across the tile.

  Dane’s gun landed under Benjamin’s foot. Joe’s slid past Watts, disappearing under the desk.

  “Listen, Mr. Watts, I don’t want any trouble.” Joe insisted.

  “Call me Benjamin. I feel like we’re all well acquainted enough at this point.”

  “Okay, Benjamin,” Joe said, trying to regain control of the situation. “What now… You have the guns. Now, let’s talk this thing out.”

  “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do next.” Watts waved the revolver at the group. “Dane over there is going to step away from the rest of you and open up this fucking closet. Then after this little walking dead charade is finally put to rest, we are all going to sit tight, while Dane calls more cleanup crews to come down and take care of everything. Is that clear?”

  Chelsea frowned in disapproved.

  “What’s the matter, woman?” He continued. “You’re the one that said I should come down here. Show some face time. Let the people know I cared. Well, I’ve had enough… and yeah, let’s say I do care. I care alright. I’m not about to have anyone pulling my leg and messing up my future. I’m in control. This town needs me. When tonight’s over, this town is going to worship me for cleaning all this up! For exposing this elaborate hoax. You guys might have each other fooled, but no… not me. I’m a C.E.O.!”

  “Open your eyes, Benjamin. What’s happening is real. Please see that and put the gun down!”

  “No, Chelsea. Of all people, I couldn’t see you getting in on this sick joke.”

  “She’s telling the truth, man!” Noel shouted. “We all are. I’ve been out there. Almost got fucking killed. My boyfriend is dead! My best friend and her boyfriend are dead too! Joe’s partner was eaten to death by his own fucking daughter, dude. This ain’t no elaborate joke! You need to wake up!”

  “Nobody asked you, kid!” Benjamin lunged forward with revolver at the ready. Aiming it at her, he said, “I’ll let you talk when I’m good and ready… now, shut the hell up.”