Blooded

by Amanda Carlson

  “Jessica!” My father stood on the ground in front of me, angrier than I’d seen him in a long time. “Get the hell out of there.” He slashed his hand from the ring to the bleachers in a quick, precise gesture. His voice held massive power and it flowed over me, testing my skin, pressing against it. And even though his Alpha mojo didn’t work on me because I wasn’t a wolf, I skedaddled. I was extremely good at pushing the envelope, but I also knew when said envelope was about to explode in my face. My father turned to James and flicked his head toward the doors. “Take him away. Now.”

  I climbed out of the ring gingerly, picking my way through the ropes and down the small flight of steps in the corner. My whole body pulsed with pain now that my fighting high had come to an abrupt halt. Once on the ground, I limped past my father and took a seat on the nearest bleacher, closest to my bag of supplies. Across the room, my brother had his fists wrapped up in Josh’s shirt. It seemed Josh had his greatest fears realized once my father had arrived on the scene. Tyler shook him, forcing his neck back and forth like a puppet on a string, snarling, “Did you guys think you were tough shit beating up a female? Huh?”

  I could feel Josh’s quivering from where I sat. For a beta, there was nothing worse than coming up against a strong alpha. Betas, the absolute followers of Pack, shied away from confrontation. Less than a third of the wolves born were beta; all the rest were alpha, constantly fighting and jostling for their place in line.

  Much to my chagrin, I’d been alpha-born too. I’d just drawn the extremely shitty straw of being a girl and a human, instead of a boy and a wolf. The fact I’d been born at all equated me to being one big, scary genetic freak. Werewolves didn’t possess the DNA to create a female, so there was no rational explanation for my existence. I’d been labeled a witch, a freak—something the wolves had the right to punish. Couple that with a myth declaring me evil, and my life on the Compound had been set from birth.

  Wolves were pain-in-the-ass superstitious, which meant my very existence threatened them. By walking around, I reminded them of that daily.

  “Explain yourself.” My father stood in front of me, legs splayed. “What exactly did you think you were going to accomplish here tonight? Death? Challenging wolves is the quickest way to get yourself killed. This behavior won’t be tolerated, and it will stop tonight.”

  I slid my gym bag closer, unzipped it, and plucked a towel out with my left hand. My right was so swollen it didn’t even look like a hand anymore—it looked like a cartoon glove. It throbbed, but it hadn’t overcome me yet. It was about time something swung in my favor. I cleared my throat, which was still bruised and sore. “I had no other choice but to fight him.” Surprising myself with honesty. That hadn’t been the plan. “It was either we clashed here or the bullshit was going to escalate to violence on its own. So I made a decision. Things have changed. Pack has gotten less tolerant of my presence, and I was hoping if I took Mitch down a few notches, I could breathe again for a little while.” I glanced up at my father, blotting the towel carefully on my face. “I know there are ‘sanctions’ against harming me—that you will kill any wolf who touches me—but I needed this fight. It’s time for me to choose a battle to fight, or it’s time for me to leave.” The word “leave” hung in the air with unspoken meaning. “The wolves and I can’t coexist here any longer. Now that I’m of age, the wolves are too restless, too fearful of what my presence means. You know all this already; you’ve seen the signs. You’re just choosing not to see what’s right in front of you. I’ve asked you to send me away, begged you to send me anywhere, but I’m still here.”

  “I see just fine,” my father growled. “I understand there’s posturing with the young ones. I understand there are dominance issues with having a female in Pack, and there’s fear, but that doesn’t mean it can come to blows and end up like this.” He gestured to the ring in frustration. “You could’ve died tonight, and I won’t allow that to happen. If the wolves are agitated, I’ll institute more changes and deliver steeper penalties for any behavior involving you. I can fix this without sending you away, where you would be in more danger without my protection.”

  I sighed. Mitch had been willing to die tonight to rid the world of me. What penalties could be more severe than his own death? I tossed the bloodied towel onto the ground. “I’m not Pack.” I fished around for another towel but couldn’t find one, so I settled on a T-shirt instead. “You and Tyler are the only ones who consider me ‘in Pack,’ because we’re family. I’m not a wolf; therefore I don’t qualify for the elite membership—and, honestly, not being Canis lupus is pretty much the biggest obstacle I face. The wolves don’t want me around, haven’t wanted me since the day I was born. And now I’m old enough to fight. They will find a way to get rid of me.” My throat closed for a second without my permission, but I shook it off immediately. “I’m a threat to their existence, a mistake, a witch, a problem, the Daughter of Evil—take your pick.” I lowered my voice and threw the soiled T-shirt on the ground. I was tired. “And guess what? I don’t want to be here anymore, which is exactly why I chose to come here tonight.” I waved my swollen cartoon hand at the ring. “I’m making the fight public. Beating Mitch tonight would’ve given me an edge and was the only way to slow down what I know is coming. In the end, we both know, I’m either going to die fighting, or you’re going to have to finally let me go.”

  My father’s eyes sparked violet, his face cemented in rigid lines. I’d never been shy about my feelings, but I’d never been this blunt either. My leaving home was a prickly subject, and had become a polarizing disagreement between us over the last year. The moment I’d turned eighteen, I’d started petitioning for my independence, even more so when the wolves had become more aggressive. He’d gone as far as allowing me to submit a police academy application down in the cities, but after that hadn’t allowed me to attend. I’d had elite tutors my entire life, and had passed all the tests at the highest level, but he cited too many dangers and left it at that. My father was worried about how the supernatural community would view me, how they would treat a female born to a wolf, and in the process he’d blinded himself to the dangers right here at home.

  “We’ll talk about this after you get cleaned up,” he said.

  “Fine.” There was slim to no chance things would change, even with this fight. I was stuck in limbo with no safe place to go.

  But I knew one thing.

  I’d just celebrated my nineteenth birthday, and if I wanted to see twenty, I had to find a way to get the hell out.

  Chapter Two

  Jessica, it won’t work.” My father rocked forward in his chair, placing his elbows on his desk. We were sitting in his office. I’d left the ring six hours earlier, the infirmary a mere twenty minutes ago. My wounds were stitched and bandaged as well as they could be, considering the damage. I wore a thick cast on my broken hand and a number of Band-Aids dotted my body. In order to set the broken bones, Doc Jace had reduced the swelling with anti-inflammatories and loaded me up with Percocet. Being high on hallucinogenic painkillers was bound to make this conversation more entertaining than it had any right to be.

  But there was no avoiding it. My father wasn’t going to let me out of his sight until we hashed this out, injuries or not. It was time for me to explain myself and make another case for leaving Compound life for good. Contrary to what it seemed when I fought Mitch in the ring, I did want to continue living. Starting a new life somewhere else was the only option I had left, even though batting it around again so soon with my father was taking a toll on my sanity. “Of course it can work,” I said. “You just don’t want it to work. That’s your stubbornness talking.”

  My father blew air out of the side of his mouth, his exasperation building. “There’s no stubbornness involved. This is a simple situation. I’m not letting you walk out of here without adequate protection, and I can’t supply an army of wolves to make sure you stay safe. Logistically it’s not feasible.”

  An army of wolve
s? Maybe an army who wanted me dead. “I’ll have plenty of protection. Nick is coming with me, and our applications to the police academy were already accepted, as you well know. We deferred for a year, and it’s almost up. Now’s the perfect time for us to leave. I’ll be issued a gun after I graduate and be allowed to chase down the bad guys. Sounds like a career tailor-made for me. If you believe in fate—and I know you’re a big fan—the stars are finally in alignment. This fight with Mitch couldn’t have happened at a better time.” Even if the stars weren’t exactly lining up in my favor in real life, they were certainly aligning themselves around the room. My Percocet-filled vision was playing tricks on me, and for a moment mini fireflies appeared to be zooming along the ceiling. I tired not to follow them with my eyes.

  “Having Nicolas accompany you is not enough. He doesn’t have the means to protect you from everything you could encounter off Compound.” Nick Michaels, my best—and only—friend, was a werefox. He’d been adopted into Pack by my father as a child, as a favor to Nick’s dad when he died. Nick had it almost as bad as I did on the Compound—almost. “Nicolas isn’t skilled enough to handle the job of your protection by himself.” Which tactfully implied that Nick wasn’t strong enough, meaning not as strong as a wolf, therefore inadequate to protect. Egotism abounded.

  “You’re right,” I agreed. My father’s eyebrows arched. “Nick won’t be able to protect me from everything in the entire world, but the last time I checked”—I turned my wrist to glance at my nonexistent watch like a smart-ass on drugs—“I was a fully functional human being who could protect herself just fine. I have these.” I raised my fists, one moveable and one fully casted. “I can hit anything dead center with my throwing knives, and I’ll have a handy new gun. That sounds locked, loaded, and ready to go to me.”

  “Jessica.” My name came out in a staccato, my father’s sky blue eyes flashing a violet warning. Most wolves’ eyes spark gold with emotion, but my father’s eyes were a striking amethyst, unusual and completely arresting. “You’re delusional if you think I’d risk your life by sending you away with no plans in place and no adequate protection to speak of. It’s not going to happen. You’re too fragile to deal with the supernatural community. You don’t have any abilities or defenses. I’m not going to risk it, and there’s not a damn thing you can say to make that change.”

  I leaned forward, narrowing my goofy firefly vision back into sharp focus with concentrated effort. “You’re the one who’s delusional if you think my life’s not at risk right here.” I tapped my index finger against his desk to accentuate my point. My father sat back on his chair and crossed his arms. “The way things have escalated in the past six months, I could be killed the moment I walk out of this office and there’s nothing you could do about it. Just like you said, I have no natural defenses to fight off the supe community—including werewolves. I have these.” I held up my hands again and wiggled my fingers. “And my brain.” The drugs had liberated my tongue. But, honestly, I wanted to settle this now. These were the facts. “I understand your distress about supernaturals, but they’ve never even seen me. And I’m not jumping continents; we’re only talking about a move two hours south. There are literally ten thousand ways we can figure this out if we put our heads together. I know we can find a compromise.”

  Before my father could reach across the desk and choke the insolence out of me, James strode into the room. He took the chair on my father’s right, facing me. The tension in the room lessened a little, like a puncture in a tire, which was a relief.

  I glanced at him, assessing his intent. His face was drawn and serious, his eyes focused on me. I slumped back in my chair. James was my father’s most trusted companion. He’d been so for too many years to count. When James appeared, it usually meant it was time to close down the argument. James would back my father and expound—which meant he’d say a few choice words—and then I’d be excused like an errant child. Case closed.

  “So, James,” I started before he had a chance to say anything. “I’m assuming you’re going to agree with my father here—as per usual—but let me add something before I get sent to my room. If you agree with him this time, after everything I went through last night”—I leaned forward, the sudden movement causing a halo of lights to erupt in my field of vision, distracting me—“um…if you do that… You have…big…spots…and colorful stuff…floating around.” I ended lamely, blinking a few times, shaking my head and gripping the front of the desk. I pulled my focus back with concentrated effort and clenched teeth. “What I mean is, everything I went through last night will have been for nothing. You have to consider what it means if I continue to stay in this environment, and it’s going to be on your conscience if you agree with my father. You’re going to have to live with it.”

  James’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Did you just say I had colorful spots?” His laugh mingled nicely with his Irish brogue as he spoke, giving it a nice chime. “I don’t think that’s quite accurate, but I’ve been called worse, that’s for certain. And to address what I think was your statement—no, I don’t agree with your father. I think it’s time for you leave the Compound. It’s not bloody safe for you anymore and that’s plain enough to see. If you stay here, it’s only a matter of time before you’re hurt beyond repair.”

  Now it was time for my eyebrows to mingle with my hairline. I couldn’t shake my astonishment, so I left them up there for a few seconds. I’d known James my entire life, and he’d never once taken my side—and over the years there’d been ample opportunities for him to do so. “Wha?” I finally managed, shaking my head again. Please don’t let it be the drugs talking. “Can you please repeat that?”

  “You can’t be serious, James.” My father slapped his hands on the desk. “You’re actually recommending I send my daughter down to the cities alone? Unprotected?”

  “No, I’m recommending we find a plan that suits,” James stated evenly, his voice firm. “The wolves have grown more unsteady in the last few months—more than they’ve been in a long time. It’s becoming apparent Jessica is no longer safe here, and we cannot protect her at all times when she’s on Compound.”

  “Then I’ll issue a stronger threat,” my father argued.

  “In your direct presence the wolves will not attack; that we know,” James said. “But your authority will lessen while you’re away. And now that Jessica has openly challenged a wolf, they will view it as an invitation to do more harm.” And since I hadn’t won, they wouldn’t think twice about it. “The Pack is running on strong emotion, and it’s too late to rein it all in. It’s been building for nineteen years. The discontent has momentum, whether we like it or not. Keeping her here is too great a risk.”

  Lesser wolves could not physically disobey a direct order from their Alpha when he was near, but when they were agitated enough, their emotions overrode their orders. They were living, breathing bodies with animal instincts. They weren’t robots. Unfortunately.

  “Then they will swear blood oaths. Every single one of them.” My father’s voice held more than rage; it held both sadness and a ferocity I’d never heard before. Chills ran up my arms and I hugged myself.

  James sucked in a sharp breath. “You cannot be serious.” He moved forward in his seat. “If you do that, the Pack will dissolve within a month. The wolves have always been restless having a female in their presence, and if you make them swear to accept her, upon death, they will flee rather than risk their lives.”

  “Dammit!” My father pounded the top of his desk with his fists. It was solid mahogany, but it splintered. He knew James spoke the truth—but he didn’t want it to be true. Nobody was a better Alpha than Callum McClain, and everyone knew it. My father was a fair leader with a strong hand, and not all Alphas were equal—actually, far from it. Wolves followed their Alpha by instinct, but when overcome by extreme emotion, they became restless and confused. It would be disastrous to have them swear an oath of fealty to me resulting in instantaneous death if they s
tepped out of line. A blood oath would bind their blood to the Alpha’s, and vice versa. The words they swore would become a binding contract. If they laid a finger on me thereafter, they would be breaking their vow and they would die, my father’s blood extinguishing their life in some capacity that was still a mystery to me. My father stood up and paced to the windows. “There has to be some way to solve this that doesn’t include putting my daughter in more danger. My wolves will obey me! I am their Alpha.”

  “The only way is to send me away,” I repeated quietly. “What danger could I possibly face in the cities that I haven’t already encountered here?” I paused for a second, feeling unaccountably emotional. I blamed the drugs. “I’m so tired of living with conflict. I deserve to have my own life. I don’t belong here.” I picked at nonexistent lint on my pants. “I’m sure I never did.”

  “Jessica, you don’t understand how the supernatural community works,” my father growled, turning to face me. “They are extremely powerful and they will be curious about a female born to a werewolf. I can’t allow it. It’s too full of unknowns, dangerous beings with deadly skills, any of which could kill you. You are human and I can’t possibly prepare you for everything you may encounter, and even if I could, it would be useless. You are no match for them.”

  “Then I won’t go as myself.” I shrugged. “I can leave here as anybody. Nobody knows my face except for the wolves up here. I’m willing to start over and live in secrecy if it gets me out of here. I will do whatever you ask of me—I will be safe, keep my head down, and follow your rules. I swear.” That would be new for me, but I was willing to try.