All the Way In

by Betsy Locke

  When I saw people trying out ski jumping off a small ramp, I thought they were insane. Flying into the air at high speeds and soaring over a football field length of snow, seemed very dangerous. How did these people not kill themselves?

  I knew at that moment I had to try it for myself. My parents thought I had a death wish but I was determined.

  Ski jumping has different categories of hills depending on their size. They wouldn't let a first timer go on a large jump. I couldn't even try the smallest hill yet. They were only for people with more experience. I first had to get used to ski jumping skis which were a lot bigger than normal skis.

  I never considered myself a great skier but I figured that ski jumping wasn't about going down a slope. It was all about your form through the air, creating the least amount of drag. I started going off normal jumps with the ski jumping skis on just to get used to the feeling of them.

  By the time I was ready for my first real jump, I was such a bundle of nerves that I doubted if I should even attempt it.

  I tried a twenty meter hill which was the smallest one the mountain resort offered. The view from the top was absolutely terrifying. I was never afraid of heights before but this definitely changed my mind. It didn't help that my brain was constantly thinking about all the ways my body could be broken from falling.

  I mustered up the courage and pushed myself down the hill. The winter air chilled my skin as I soared down the tiny hill. I made it off the jump and landed perfectly on the ground a moment later. It was a baby jump. I felt like I could do that in my sleep.

  I went up to forty meters and then up to sixty meters. All that changed was the speed, the altitude, and the hang-time in the air. I felt like I could actually do it.

  Before I got in anymore practice, the family vacation was over. I was so sad that it was over but I'd found a sport that I wanted to compete in more than any of the others. The feeling of soaring through the air like superman was unlike anything other.

  People called me an adrenaline junkie or whatever. I didn't care. Adrenaline did factor into it somewhat but I liked the challenge of trying to push yourself to fly further and further than ever before.

  When I told my family that I was skipping college to pursue ski jumping full time, they weren't shocked. They knew that they wouldn't be able to convince me.

  Luckily my stepbrother, Sebastian was going to college so he was the one they could look to for success. I would never make much money doing ski jumping. That didn't matter to me. All I wanted was to make enough to allow me to be on the slopes all day long.

  My ultimate goal was to make it to the Olympics. That was the dream of every athlete. Even the ones that their sport wasn't even a part of the Olympics.

  I had competed in a lot of the USA competitions through the years and done very well. Ski jumping had become second nature to me.

  The year that Sebastian graduated college, the year I turned twenty-two, was the year that I made the USA team and I was going to the Winter Olympics to compete for a medal.

  My parents were astounded. They didn't know that letting me try ski jumping during a vacation could turn into something like this.

  My stepbrother was even more ecstatic.

  The one bummer was that my parents couldn't come see me compete. They couldn't take off the time to see me because they had already taken time off to see my compete in the championship and Olympic trials.

  “I'm going to be there for you, Charlotte,” Sebastian said. “I've been saving all through college to take a nice vacation and this is it.”

  I put my hand on his chest. “I don't want you to waste your money on a trip for me. You can always watch me on TV.”

  Sebastian shook his head. “You're going to need all the support you can get. I'm going to go there and cheer you on as you win a gold medal.”

  I laughed and rolled my eyes. “The chances of me even qualifying for the final round is very low.”

  “Don't be modest, Charlotte. I've seen all your trophies. I've seen you have bad jumps and I've seen you fly farther than everyone else. If anyone can do it, it's you.”

  Sebastian was making me tear up and get emotional. I already cried once when I found out I was going to the Olympics. Now he was going to make me cry again.

  “I'm going to do my best.”

  It was good that Sebastian was going with me. He was always my rock.

  The biggest competition of my life was ahead of me.

  Chapter Two

  The plane ride was eleven hours long and I flew with some of the other athletes from the USA team. Sebastian was in the seat next to me asleep the entire time. He had taken some anti-nausea medicine that had knocked him out.

  Meanwhile, I had nobody to talk to and the only thing that kept me going was my music. I listened to a lot of rap to pump me up for a competition. It gave me that extra boost of confidence that I needed.

  When we landed, Sebastian and I had to separate as I went to the Olympic village for the athletes and he went off to his hotel.

  “Shall we get dinner tonight to celebrate our first night at the Olympics?” he asked.

  “That sounds great but first I need to sleep because I wasn't able to get any at all on the plane. Once I get settled in, I'll take a bus to your hotel.”

  The Olympic village was like high-rise apartments. The USA team had their own floor with about four athletes to each suite.

  The suites had a living room, small kitchen, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. It was cool because the entire place had American flag décor. The robes, the towels, and even the rugs had the flag on it.

  I found my twin-sized bed and threw my large duffel bag next to it. I face planted right into the pillow and passed out immediately.

  Six hours later and a text message woke me up. I hadn't nearly gotten enough rest but Sebastian wanted to eat and I couldn't deny that I was starving too. We were going to a nice restaurant and the only clothes I had with me was skiing clothes. Lucky for me that the temperature was twenty degrees outside so most everyone would be as bundled up as I was.

  The bus dropped me off right at Sebastian's hotel and we were eating at a restaurant on the bottom floor. Sebastian was waiting for me next to the elevators. He was all dressed up with nice pants on and a tight black dress shirt that showed off every muscle. I always thought that he could play a sport if he wanted to but he didn't have the same drive that I did.

  “You look great, Charlotte,” he said with a smile.

  I looked up at my beanie that covered most of my head. I had put my blonde hair into pig tails. “Very funny, Sebastian. I didn't know that I should bring formal wear.”

  “Don't worry about any of that, Charlotte. We're here for you to compete. You could've shown up in pajamas and it would be fine. Don't focus on anything else.”

  He was right. I was being silly about my appearance. There were more important things to worry about.

  We were seated at the Asian restaurant and the menu was all foreign to me. “Can you understand any of this?” I asked Sebastian.

  He shook his head. Luckily a waiter came over and gave us menus with English on it. It was a lifesaver even though I hadn't heard of most of the dishes they were serving.

  “Chicken should be safe, right?” I asked.

  “I hope so because that's the only thing that looks good here.”

  We chatted about him going to college and what he was going to do now. I liked that I wasn't the center of attention. Taking a break from constantly thinking about the competition was driving me a little crazy.

  It was even crazier because this kind of felt like a date. I'd always thought Sebastian was incredibly attractive but I never thought of him in that way.

  My feelings were slowly changing. I couldn't help but blush every time he smiled my way.

  After dinner, we stopped in the lobby to say our goodbyes. I wouldn't be able to see him for the next couple days while I prepped for my jumps.

  “Do you want to go up to
my room for a drink?” Sebastian asked.

  The temptation was right there for the taking.

  I knew what would happen if I went up to his room. It was forbidden and should never happen. At least that's what always stopped me before of ever developing feelings for him. Now I don't know if could stop them.

  But that's not why I told him no. I knew that if we walked down this path, I'd never be able to stay focused for my event. I might as well go home right now.

  There would always be time later for us to explore our feelings.

  Now was not the time.

  But afterwards...

  “I have to prepare for the event, Sebastian.”

  He put his hands up in surrender. “Say no more, Charlotte. You need to be at your best. Don't let me bring you down.”

  “Do you have your ticket for the event?” I asked.

  Sebastian produced the ticket from his wallet. “I'm all set to see you kick ass.”

  “I'll see you there then.”

  “I won't be able to see you before you compete. Remember that I'm proud of you no matter what. Focus on that win and you'll have that medal.”

  I had to leave before he made me break down and cry. I waved goodbye and took the bus for the Olympic village.

  On the ride back, my mind turned to the competition. Time to put my game face on.

  Chapter Three

  The next couple days was a blur of exercising and trying out test runs. The mountain was incredibly cold and the snow hard as ice.

  The high winds didn't help either. Sometimes they could carry you a lot farther and sometimes they'd push you back. The score you received always took into account if the wind was in your favor or against you.

  On the day of the competition, I was couldn't stop pacing from nervousness. It felt so easy just to run away and forget about the whole thing.

  Then I remembered that Sebastian was here to see me win a medal. I needed to make him proud.

  My first two competition jumps were just okay: seventy-five and seventy-three kilometers. But they were enough to get me into the final round which surprised me. I actually had a shot of getting a medal.

  I sat at the top of the hill during my first jump of the finals admiring the view of the city below. I congratulated myself for getting this far. I had to admit that it was a hell of a run.

  The timer turned green and began to count down from ten. I took a deep breath and made sure my goggles were on correctly. I stood up from the bench and bent my knees as my body was propelled down the ramp.

  I hit the exit and pushed off, extending my feet. My body faced forward with my arms straight and hands slightly behind me. The wind ripped around me as I soared through the sky. Everything went quiet. I could see where I wanted to land and realized that I was going to be too short.

  I set my skis down onto the snow and balanced myself on the landing. Seventy-six meters wasn't good enough for a medal yet. I would need to get eighty or higher to get on the podium.

  I skidded into the open snow and the crowd cheered, “USA!” over and over again. I tried to see if Sebastian was in the audience somewhere but there were too many people.

  I started to walk towards the lift back up the mountain when I heard my name. “Go Charlotte!”

  I turned and saw Sebastian in the front row of the crowd cheering for me. I ran to him and gave him a hug over the barrier. “I'm so glad you're here, Sebastian.”

  He smiled with those perfectly white teeth. “I wouldn't miss this for the world. You're first jump was really good.”

  I shook my head. “I'm not getting enough air. I don't think I'll be in a position to medal. At least not how I'm jumping right now.”

  “I believe in you, Charlotte. You still have one run left and nothing to lose. Give it all you got!” Sebastian put his fist up.

  I nodded and put my goggles back on. I wasn't going to let this mountain break me. I took the lift back up and readied myself for my last jump. The one that could change everything.

  Finally it was my turn. I took in a slow breath and held it in my lungs. I visualized the jump, going through all the motions, and sticking the landing. It was never that difficult in my head.

  I sat down at the gate and put my skis in the grooves of the ramp that ran the entire length. I slid my skis back and forth to get them ready.

  The timer beeped and it was time to go. An image of Sebastian appeared before my eyes. My confidence was restored a thousand percent.

  I launched off the bench and sped down the ramp, hitting the jump so hard that I thought I was going fly to straight up.

  The scenery zoomed by me and I could see my landing spot up ahead. I was going further than my previous runs. My body slowly fell from the sky and I gracefully landed on the soft snow, my arms out just a little to keep myself upright.

  I hit eighty-five meters. My jaw dropped. That was so fucking far. But it wasn't all about the distance. I still had to wait for my score.

  I stood patiently wondering what the announcers for TV were saying right about now. They had watched my entire jump and probably found every fault.

  I wasn't even able to see my score when I was clobbered with hugs and congratulations. I didn't know what was happening.

  Sebastian had jumped the barrier and draped an American flag around me. “You did it, Charlotte! You won gold!”

  My eyes slowly blinked. My brain couldn't process all the information so fast. Shock had set in. Could it really possible?

  Sebastian took me in his arms and raised me high in the air. I pumped my arms up and screamed at the top of my lungs.

  Dreams do come true.

  The next thing I knew, I was resting my head on Sebastian's shoulder in the back of a taxi on the way to his hotel. The heavy gold medal hung around my neck and I couldn't stop looking at it.

  “It's so beautiful,” I said, turning the round trophy around in my hands.

  “You deserve it,” Sebastian said. “All that hard work paid off. Can you believe you're an Olympic gold medalist?”

  “This doesn't seem real. Could it all be a dream?” I lifted my head and looked in Sebastian's eyes. They were so dreamy.

  “Only one way to find out.”

  He kissed me and confirmed that it had to be a dream.

  Chapter Four

  All those pent up emotions for Sebastian were finally released through my lips. He embraced me as our tongues met. I swelled with excitement and didn't think that this moment could get any better.

  Then I remembered the gold medal around my neck.

  This was going to be the best night of my life.

  We raced up to Sebastian's hotel room, ignoring the elevator and taking the stairs. We jumped the steps two at a time until we got to his floor. He kissed me again as we walked down the hallway. We stopped in our tracks and Sebastian pushed me against the wall.

  A devious grin stretched across his face. “Your lips taste so good.”

  My chest heaved in and out. I looked to my left and right to see if anybody was around. Sebastian was on me again, holding my hands above my head as he kissed me. We might not have made it to his hotel room if it wasn't for a bellboy walking down the hallway with a tray of food.