Lovestruck

by Bronwyn Sell

  Yes.

  She relaxed into it, sliding her arms up his chest, the noises around them amplifying, a bird’s tremulous wail, the ocean slipping in and out, a rustling in the brush. Bliss, in literally every sense. Yes, there was no future in this, and she didn’t want to break his heart any more than she wanted to be heartbroken herself for the second time in as many weeks, but she liked this present very much.

  He let her go, abruptly, and stepped back, sending her off-balance for a second.

  ‘We can’t,’ he said, shooting a hand out to steady her by the elbow. ‘This can’t …’

  ‘I’m good with it happening, Harry,’ she said, her voice shaky and husky.

  He released her and shoved his hands into his hair. ‘People behave differently when they’re on holiday, do things they wouldn’t normally do, and then go back to their lives and forget all about it. This is not you.’

  People. And again, he thought she was some cliché. And again, she probably was.

  ‘I’m confident this is all me,’ she said. What was with the voice wobbles? ‘But if it’s not y—’

  ‘No,’ he said. Shouted.

  She startled. He stepped forward as if to apologise, then raised his hands and backtracked. Ugh—how many times had he indicated that he didn’t want to be her distraction, and what had she just tried to make him into?

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘can we forget that ever happened?’ His kindness—and that was all it was—had been such a gift and she had to go and ruin it, and now she’d have to start all over with a whole new list of regrets. ‘You’re right, I’m not myself.’

  ‘It wasn’t on you. Sophia, you’re an insanely attractive woman, in every single way. But this is not the time, or the circumstances. You need to heal. And I … You need to heal.’

  She turned toward the door, feeling the sting of tears in her sinuses. She mentally shoved them back in. ‘You’re right,’ she said robotically. ‘You’re absolutely right. Nicest rejection ever, and deserved. I shouldn’t have … I wasn’t thinking.’

  ‘Sophia.’ He laid a hand on her forearm and coaxed her to face him. Her veins seemed to pulse double-time. Change your mind, she silently begged. Kiss me. Take me inside. ‘Right now, you don’t know what you want, even if you think you do. I know we—okay, I—set a rule about not thinking about the past or future, but we both know that at some point you do have to deal with the fallout from your wedding. You need time. You don’t need this. I’m not rejecting you. I’m …’ He let her go. ‘I’m sorry if …’

  ‘It’s fine.’ She felt like one of his beached starfish, deflating into a puddle. She dragged herself up the steps.

  ‘You can come with me tomorrow, if you like,’ he said.

  She paused with her key in the door. Could he sound any more reluctant? ‘No,’ she said, turning slightly. ‘That was a sensationally dumb idea. You need to work. Cody offered to take me to Whitehaven Beach in his helicopter. And he’s running a tour out of Hayman Island, so he can drop me off at the resort for a few hours afterwards. I could have a swim, have something to eat.’ By herself. Yay. She didn’t even have her laptop as a substitute for a human lunch date.

  ‘Of course he did.’ Harry shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘But yeah, that’s probably more the distraction you need.’ Meaning, an afternoon on Hayman, or Cody? Was he handing her off to his brother? ‘Enjoy it,’ he said abruptly and strode off.

  She slid open the door, stepped inside and quickly shut it behind her. Where did he get off, sounding bitter? He was the one who’d rejected her. Not that he was calling it that. I’m not rejecting you. But what the hell did that mean? Great. Now she was confused about her status with two men.

  She pulled off her sandals and flung them, one by one, at a frangipani cushion on the sofa. She was such a dope. The whole evening—the whole day—had been magical, aside from the part where half a dozen people saw her naked, but the very fact that she kept forgetting to dwell on that particular humiliation illustrated the point. She’d escaped from herself, and she’d found the perfect person to talk things through with—someone wise and caring and funny and laidback, who took her seriously but wasn’t afraid to challenge her. She’d started to get herself into a marginally better place and then boom.

  She stumbled to the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed nose-first, like a fallen tree. When her lungs insisted she take a breath, she managed to lift her head and flop it to one side. Survival instinct intact—that was a positive. Housekeeping had turned down her bed and stacked the books Harry had picked out for her on the bedside table. A weathered Wild Swans sat on the top, dotted with a foil-wrapped chocolate. She’d read it years ago. Maybe it was time for a revisit. Several days in twentieth-century China with people who had real problems could be just what she needed. She lurched her arm out and grabbed it, sending the chocolate flying, then rolled over and opened it.

  Several chapters were stuck together. Of course they were. And she’d have to accept that they’d remain that way. She shut the book and shoved it aside.

  At least she’d now been kissed on her honeymoon. And what a kiss.

  Trip Review: Curlew Bay

  Rating:

  Review: Far too many good-looking young people. I felt old and haggard.

  20

  Harry

  Harry leaned his backpack against the bar and checked his watch. Just enough time for a couple of double-shot espressos before the morning boat up to Airlie Beach.

  ‘Aren’t you a little overpacked for a day trip?’ Lena said, pulling out a cup.

  ‘Decided to stay over there a few days. Giving a talk at the high school about coral bleaching tomorrow, and I have a list of other stuff to tick off.’

  ‘You’ve been putting that talk off for months. Why now?’

  ‘Good a time as any. Reg will monitor the traps and take care of other stuff. That’s if you think you can handle the military base alone.’

  ‘This wouldn’t have anything to do with the jilted bride?’

  Footsteps sounded behind Harry and he shushed Lena, turning. It was Cody, his eyebrows raised at Lena’s words.

  ‘Shit, Cody,’ Harry said. ‘I thought you were Nan.’ He should have known by the footsteps. Nan didn’t walk. She apparated.

  ‘And why would Houdini need to hide from Nan?’ Cody said, pulling up onto a bar stool.

  ‘Guilty conscience,’ Lena said. ‘He was out on the beach with the jilted bride very late last night.’

  ‘Holy frooze balls, you screwed her on the beach?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘In the Frangipani Villa? You devil.’

  ‘Didn’t screw her.’ Shouldn’t have kissed her back either, because now that was all he could think about, but at least he’d stopped anything worse from happening.

  ‘Right,’ Cody said, contemplating. ‘She turned you down.’

  Harry thought about that a second. ‘Nope.’ He stared straight ahead at Lena as she made the coffee, but he could sense Cody’s gaze on the side of his face.

  ‘Nooo,’ Cody said. ‘She made a move and you turned her down. What were you thinking?’

  Bloody hell.

  ‘And now you’re running away.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Remind me how we’re related? Maybe it’s time to order some of those DNA kits off the internet.’

  ‘Have you told her you’re running away?’ Lena said.

  ‘Nothing to tell.’ And I’m not running away.

  She slid him the coffee. ‘Sure there isn’t. You do realise how it’s going to look to her?’

  Cody crossed his arms. ‘Yeah, bro, spending the night with someone and running away? Not very mature.’

  Lena tossed Cody a smoothie from the fridge, forcing him to hurriedly uncross his arms to catch it. ‘I would have expected better from Hazza, quite honestly. This is the kind of behaviour I’d expect from you and me. Shocking.’

  Harry rolled his eyes. Was it any wonder he’d stayed up al
l night with Sophia when this was the level of conversation he was usually stuck with?

  ‘Confession time,’ Cody said. ‘I’ve never run away when a woman’s come on to me.’

  Lena snorted. ‘He’s an embarrassment to the family name.’

  Harry waved a hand between them. ‘Still here.’

  ‘Let me nail this down,’ Cody said, cracking open the drink. ‘You think it would be disrespectful to take her up on her generous offer but rejecting her and running away is all good?’

  ‘Back up,’ Harry said. ‘I never said she made a move on me.’

  Lena leaned on her elbows. ‘Sorry, Hazza, you left it too late to refute it and it went viral, so now it’s fact. It’s the twenty-first century. Rumours become reality just like that.’ She snapped her fingers.

  ‘And she wasn’t making any offer. She was just …’ Just letting off steam. And that was all.

  ‘Just?’ Lena said, looking at Cody with victory in her eyes. Damn, what had Harry confirmed? How did they always do this?

  ‘Bro,’ Cody said, slapping Harry on the shoulder, ‘respecting her means respecting her decisions.’

  ‘And that’s why I’m walking away. I respect her.’

  ‘Running,’ Lena corrected, sliding him coffee number two.

  ‘Not. Running.’

  ‘Stop acting like you always know best,’ Cody said. ‘She’s a smart woman. If this is what she wants, give her the credit for having thought it through. You’re such a fucking chauvinist.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘You think your job is to protect women, be the hero. When it comes to this shit, women are way smarter than me or you. Be straight-up and let her make her own decision. You can be so fucking dense and 1950s.’

  Lena held up a fist. ‘Holy flaming crickets, Cody, look at you. You’re giving Hazza advice. So proud.’ Cody fist-bumped her. Lena’s eyes widened and she turned them on Harry. ‘Wait—the high school? This wouldn’t be the lovely Ms Munro’s class, would it?’

  ‘Katie Munro?’ Cody said. ‘You’re not going there again?’

  ‘We’re different people now.’

  Lena and Cody exchanged a look. ‘No, you’re not,’ she said.

  ‘We’ve been meaning to catch up for a while. Dinner with an old friend, that’s all.’ An old friend who was single, fun, shared common interests, and lived less than fifteen hundred kilometres away. ‘Besides, I’m well overdue a few days away from the island.’

  ‘So not only are you running away, you’re running to a booty call,’ Cody said. ‘All class, brother.’

  ‘Booty call?’ Their mother’s voice. Harry shrank. Sure enough, she was walking in from reception with Aunt Rosa and an older guy in military whites. ‘Who? Where? When?’

  ‘Nothing,’ said all three siblings at once, and Harry blessed the sibling code of silence.

  Cody stood and tossed his empty glass bottle into the recycling bin behind the bar. ‘Shot!’ he muttered as it clunked in. He leaned down and whispered in Harry’s ear. ‘The jilted bride likes French champagne, yeah? Any other tips, brother to brother?’

  ‘I told you, her name’s Sophia, and you’re not going there.’

  ‘If she wants to go there, we’ll go there. If she doesn’t, we won’t. So fucking simple, it’s genius. And let’s keep Mum away from the guy in the uniform so we don’t get a freak of an army-general stepfather who forces us to get buzzcuts and line up in height order.’ On his way out, Cody bear-hugged their mum, briefly lifting her off her feet. She laughed, swatting him away. As he passed the military guy, he touched three fingers to his forehead.

  ‘Harry, this is Captain Huong, the officer in charge of the base,’ Jaz said as she reached the bar. Was it Harry’s imagination or was his mother’s dark hair even more elaborate than usual, all swept up with twists and plaits? ‘Captain, the eldest of my four, Harry. Lena you’ve met. And that was Cody. My youngest boy is off-island at the moment.’

  ‘Please, call me Duc,’ the guy said as he shook Harry’s hand. He was way too sharply pressed for the island.

  ‘The captain will be permanently stationed here, so we can be assured the base is kept under tight control,’ said Nan, materialising. Duc was the only one who flinched. She placed her laptop on the bar. ‘He isn’t married and his children are grown, so it’s perfect,’ she added, ignoring Lena’s quiet groan.

  They gave coffee orders and sat around a table. Harry slipped to the bar to help Lena, and she sidled up to him. ‘Do you think Nan allowed this military base just to import a guy who might marry one of her daughters?’ she murmured.

  ‘Bet she made it a condition that all the visiting soldiers are single too.’

  Lena grinned. ‘You think so?’

  ‘Any potential there yesterday?’

  ‘Hell yes. You have to come with me next time. The bulk of them will only be coming and going to do training, so it’s even better. Wham, bam, thank you, sailor.’

  Harry shook his head. Like Cody, Lena was eighty percent talk.

  As they delivered the drinks, Amy arrived with Mika, who waddled in wearing a head-to-toe turtle costume that made her look like a stuffed toy. Harry stifled a laugh. Poor kid had way too many indulgent relatives. And that was another thing about living in the family silo—with everyone single and only one kid around, it was easy to forget there was a big part of the human experience that was ticking on by him, the part that Sophia was only too aware of. At this rate, Mika would inherit the entire island and have to single-handedly repopulate it. With some navigation, Rosa managed to seat the kid on her lap.

  ‘Amo, did you bring that outrage from Melbourne?’ Lena said, pointing at the costume.

  ‘She loves it.’ Amy planted her hands on Rosa’s shoulders. ‘Mum, we need some help with the choreography for that routine after all. Can you make it to Gurrawang Bay about ten?’

  Rosa twisted to look up at Amy. ‘I can do ten-thirty?’

  ‘Great. Carmen’s going to bring Mika so we can nail the whole thing in one go.’

  ‘Is everything good with the dance?’ Rosa said. ‘You seemed off-colour last night.’

  ‘It’s just Josh and me. We didn’t really connect yesterday, dancing-wise, and that was a much simpler routine. And I’d feel better having spotters there, for safety.’

  ‘What’s his type?’ Nan asked suddenly.

  ‘Of dance?’

  ‘No! What’s his taste in women—or men?’

  Amy’s face had gone pink, which Harry found very interesting. ‘I’ve only known the guy a day or two.’

  ‘Is he into troppo-Goth?’ Jaz said, looking at Lena.

  ‘Is that what you call that look?’ Nan said, studying Lena as if she had a medical condition. ‘He’s a firefighter, isn’t he? He could work with this one on security.’ She pointed at Lena—it was quicker than the alternative, which was to crank through all the family names until she reached the one she wanted, like one of those old-fashioned bus-destination scrolls.

  And now Amy had gone rigid. Well, well. Last Harry had seen her and Josh, they were slinking off into the night.

  ‘Nan, you’re not employing a firefighter until I get a new boat,’ Harry said, to take the heat off his clearly uncomfortable cousin.

  You think your job is to protect women, be the fucking hero.

  ‘There’s room in the personnel budget,’ Nan said. ‘Just not the capital budget.’

  Everyone but Nan and the captain shared knowing looks with everyone else. ‘Personnel budget’ was code for Nan’s matchmaking fund, which was protected from any threat of retrenchment.

  ‘Hazza, call your boat The Love Boat and you’ll be amazed how quickly the money arrives,’ Lena said, returning to the bar. ‘Everyone good for drinks? I need to go and sort out some freight schedules.’

  Harry finished up his second coffee, said his goodbyes, and indicated to Amy with a jerk of his head that he wanted to speak with her privately. She followed him out to reception.

  �
��Can you give this note to Sophia?’ he said, removing an envelope from his pocket. ‘I’m going to the mainland for a few days.’

  ‘I was wondering why you were wearing shoes. Did something happen last night?’

  ‘Nothing I want to discuss.’

  ‘You guys seemed to be getting on well. You’re a grown man and she’s a grown woman, you know.’

  ‘You’re starting to sound like Cody.’

  ‘Take that back!’

  ‘Anyway, I could say the same about you and Josh.’

  Amy plucked the envelope from his hand. ‘There’s definitely nothing going on there, and nothing will.’

  ‘Is he gay?’

  ‘He’s not ruling it out.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Just something he said. A joke.’

  ‘If there’s nothing going on, why are you acting all shifty?’

  ‘Am I? Shite. No good reason at all. He cooked breakfast,’ she added with a sigh of defeat.

  ‘And it was bad?’

  ‘No, it was amazing. He’s a firefighter so he’s used to cooking for a crowd. He made hollandaise sauce,’ she added in an undertone. ‘Thick and smooth and tangy and oh.’ She looked at Harry’s backpack. ‘Can I come with you?’

  ‘You’ve been on the island two days. Nan would have a fit.’

  ‘We could tell her we’re going shopping for life partners. We can wingman each other.’

  ‘Does your sudden urge to leave have something to do with Josh?’

  ‘Does your sudden urge to leave have something to do with Sophia?’

  He laughed. ‘This workshop has been on the calendar for ages.’ The talk with the school and the dinner with Katie? Not so much. ‘But you’re definitely staying. And listen, do me a favour. If you see Cody going after Sophia, steer him away? Preferably to Port Moresby. Or find him some starched naval officer. He’d love that.’

  ‘Harry Tova, you are a hypocrite. You’re making me stay and face my crush and you’re running from yours.’