The Book of a Few

by Rodgers, Austen

  I couldn’t think of anything to say that would make her stay. Will shrugged his shoulders when I looked to him to say to something. I took one step forward when I thought that the right words had reached the tip of my tongue. But when I looked at her, walking away without any inclination of where she was going, I swallowed those words. I respected, admired, and envied her bravery to leave without a plan and search for heaven in this hell.

  I will miss her greatly. She was always kind, at least to me. She hated Dana, and I already knew that. But now that I think about it, we were all assholes to her. She was always on the sidelines, and the last to be informed of anything. We should have taken more care to involve her and thank her for taking care of Joey while she did. I hope that she finds someplace safe.

  Moving on to today, our plan was to go to the hospital and tell them what we found. That plan proved harder to accomplish than expected as we awoke to a mass of the sick roaming just outside the building. Not only had they wandered up through the drop-down gate that unfortunately leaves the parking lot and one small portion of the building easily accessible, but they also got up into the main entrance of the building through the broken doors.

  Dana and I practically interrogated one of the C.V.P.M. We asked the man, if it was true that they were providing at least one man on guard at all hours of the day and night, how so many infected got so far in. He answered us casually and honestly, or at least that’s how he seemed.

  “Private Rizzo was on roof-duty last night. I apologize on his behalf, as the infected were led closer to the building because of his actions. Rest assured, we are planning to take care of the problem,” the serviceman said.

  “How did he lead them in here? Streaking?” Dana asked in his usual crass manner.

  Luckily, the serviceman smiled at Dana’s crude joke and replied, “No. I believe he wasn’t debriefed properly before coming here. He said that one of the infected wandered in and he shot it, as he thought he was supposed to do. But as you know, the infected tend to investigate sounds. Before too long, all of ‘em wandered in. We decided it would be best to wait until morning, so we could see under the sun and put them down silently.”

  Dana was somewhat satisfied with his answer. But he still told the man to hurry, and that he was going to make a trip to the hospital. That sparked all four of the servicemen into action within a half an hour. After waiting only another short twenty minutes, the parking lot was clear. I never did doubt the efficiency of the C.V.P.M. If I were to guess, I’d say there was at least fifteen infected out there.

  Like yesterday, only Dana, Branden, and I left for the hospital on foot, of course. Three seemed to be the sweet number, and Will didn’t mind being left behind. The only unfortunate thing for him was since he was the only one that wasn’t to be exposed to danger, we made him help the C.V.P.M. burn the corpses. Must be rough.

  Dr. Milaka was in an unusual mood. We spoke to him about the blob we had found and where we had left it. He was perturbed by what we told him and partially wished that we had not shot it. But in the end, he agreed with our decision to do so as it wasn’t worth the risk of someone else’s life. When we asked him what he thought, he only restated previous information. He had said in our last encounter how some hospital doctors believed that they don’t have the virus completely figured out. He theorized that this skin-sack may be the ‘next link’ and was thankful that we told him.

  On our return trip back to the Warehouse, we made two other stops to try to locate the remainder of the supplies that Dana needed. Surprisingly, a small grocery store still had some wares left inside. The front door, which had been boarded shut, looked like it had only recently been broken into. Evidence showed that more than one or two people had been inside, but not enough to completely clear the store of valuables.

  Outerwear such as gloves and light jackets for the upcoming fall season, throw blankets, nonperishable food, a few bottles of cheap liquor, and plenty of packages of lighters were all found in pristine pre-Silence condition. Unfortunately, there were no cigarettes. We did not want to overburden ourselves in case we needed to sprint along the way back to the Warehouse, so we took all but the throw blankets.

  Since then, we have made it back and settled in for the night. Dana is finishing his preparations as I write. He is hoping to leave for California sometime tomorrow afternoon, but we will see if he actually goes through with it. I partially think that he won’t actually go. Anyone could tell you that it would be suicide to travel over fifteen hundred miles by yourself. Not to mention that I’m pretty sure Dana said it would take over a full day of driving, so he would have to stop at multiple places along the way.

  I just had another thought: What about the condition of the roads? It’s pretty likely that there have been multiple accidents on the freeways and highways that have been left unattended. Bumpers, glass shards, screws and bolts, and just straight up shrapnel would be littered all over the roads. Not to mention that the cars that were in the accidents are probably still sitting in the ditches and on the roads. Such dangerous roadblocks and obstacles would require that you drive slower a majority of the time. If anything were to happen to the car, the trip would be in vain. Even walking a mere twenty miles out of the whole fifteen hundred would be outlandish.

  The possibility of something happening to the car is incredible. If he makes it there without any problems at all, I’ll be surprised. If he made it there and back with both the vehicle and himself unharmed, I’d shit my pants.

  Day Fifteen

  So I was up on the roof this morning urinating off the side of the building (which is something that I’ve been tempted to do for a while, oddly), and both Branden and Will came up to speak with me. I zipped up, turned to face them, and hopped down from the ledge.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Dana is starting to move his stuff to the door. I figured we all better help him load up,” Branden said.

  “Yeah, probably. Or we could just watch,” I joked.

  Will and Branden smiled in return, and we began walking toward the roof access door.

  “Do you guys think he is going to make it?” Will asked. “Like, even just to California.”

  “I’m not sure,” Branden said. “What about you, Will?”

  Will’s answer was slightly more negative. “He’ll die, I’m pretty sure.”

  “It’s definitely likely,” Branden said.

  “Good riddance. I honestly hope he does die.”

  Somewhat shocked at Will’s comment, I interjected, “I think he at least has a chance.”

  Will shrugged his shoulders as we walked down the steps. Dana stood by the door after having just finished moving everything that far. It left him huffing and puffing a little.

  “Think you got everything?” I asked.

  “Yes. I’ve already checked. Twice,” he said holding up two of his fingers.

  “Well, we will help you move it into your car if you like,” Will offered.

  Dana nodded. “Sure. I need a minute, though. If you don’t mind.” He leaned his back against the wall to rest.

  Branden, Will, and I had no qualms with Dana resting while we packed his things away, although it was somewhat infuriating when he would yell out to us with requests on where to put things. “The fix-a-flat can, flares, and food should be in the passenger seat!” or “Gas in the trunk, please!”

  He thanked us all when we were done, and we asked him if he still planned on leaving sometime in the afternoon. He said that he wanted to hang around for a while and just meditate on everything. He needed to be sure that he was making the right decision, I guess. Or not necessarily the right decision, but to be certain that he was willing to go through with it. This time of thoughtfulness and wandering around the Warehouse lasted for a few hours. After the first two hours, we simply asked him to just let us know before he left so we could wave him off.

  I bet that the C.V.P.M. is pretty happy that Dana is leaving. That is one huge stressor leaving on
e of ‘their’ most precious locales. The Colonel probably raised up outta his wheelchair and danced at the news. But who is going to stand up for us like he did? Either Will, Branden, or I am going to have to play the aggressive talker. I’m not sure that I’m cut out for it, but I bet that Branden could do it fairly well. He has a pretty logical head on him, so I don’t think he will make as many threats as Dana does. That alone is quite advantageous.

  The C.V.P.M. guys just called out over the radio for me. I’m not sure why, and I’m a little concerned. I’m going to go see what they want. I hope Branden and Will have their radios on them. If they do, I hope even more that they are going to be there.

  ——

  WHAT THE FUCK! What a horrible fucking day. I can’t believe it and I don’t even know where to begin. There is no way in hell. I’m not that careless! How the fuck did this happen? Please, my fucking God! Why? I can hardly write my hand is shaking so much. They have my fucking journal. They know everything that happened! GODDAMN IT!

  I’m a fucking dead man. I’m either a dead man, or I’m destined to walk this wasteland with this fucking guy. ‘Cause I sure as shit can’t wander off on my own! Jesus Christ, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Wait a minute! I CAN’T FUCKING DO ANYTHING! Too late to go back now! Jesus fucking Christ, I need a cigarette. Too bad I lost mine and Casey smoked Taylor’s.

  ——

  Okay, I’ve finally composed myself. Let me explain what has happened. I went to the C.V.P.M. like they had asked. They were clad in all of their gear, and all but one were present. I asked them what they needed from me, and they showed me my notebook. My old notebook. I froze for a second and hoped that they hadn’t read it. They asked me if it was mine, and I just knew that my answer wouldn’t have mattered.

  Two of the men pinned my back against the wall just as Branden and Will showed up. If I still had the chance, I’d thank them for what they did. Fists started flying between them and the C.V.P.M. Will and Branden didn’t even know what was going on, but when they saw me pinned down, they immediately jumped into action. I’m so glad they did. It was like a tiny pit of flailing limbs, and I nearly felt lost in it. Without a clue which direction I was facing, I put my head down and plowed my way out.

  I didn’t know where to head, so I just ran out the door, aimlessly. I’m pretty thankful that I carry my rifle around the Warehouse at all times because that was the last time I’ll ever be there. I cut across the grass and out the drop-down gate and started heading out of town. I figured my chances would be better in the less populated and C.V.P.M.-free countryside than deeper into Cedar Falls.

  I reduced my speed to a jog by the time I reached the main road and heard the hum of a vehicle behind me. There were no places to duck or hide so fleeing was pointless. I slowed to a stop with my head down, accepting defeat and my upcoming punishment for my thoughtless actions. Coming up on my left, what I saw wasn’t a green military truck. It was a small red car, and Dana was behind the wheel. With a press of a button, the passenger side window slid down inside the door.

  “Get in,” he said.

  Confusion? Astonishment? Shock? I’m still not quite sure what I felt at that point. Probably all of them, but without too much hesitation, I got inside the car.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked Dana once I had secured myself to the seat.

  “Well,” Dana jerked the car around a corner, “saving your ass. I was overlooking my car when I saw you sprinting out of there. What’s going on?”

  “The C.V.P.M. has the notebook I lost.”

  Dana’s eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

  “Yeah, right?” I nervously laughed. “They know everything about us now.” Dana sighed, and I continued, “I hope Will and Branden are all right. They started smacking the C.V.P.M. guys to give me a window to escape.”

  “I don’t think that they would open fire and kill them,” Dana said. “But they will probably get sentenced for it. The C.V.P.M. will probably see it as harboring and assault at the least.”

  “Yeah. I just can’t believe the servicemen have my notebook to begin with.” I shook my head. “There is no way I dropped it. They must have gotten into my bag and stolen it.”

  “That’s not impossible. What are you going to do now? Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?”

  I laughed. “Take me back to Readlyn, I guess.”

  “I can’t do that,” Dana said.

  “Why?”

  “If I drop you off in Readlyn, to the north, I’ll have to turn back around and head south until I hit the interstate. I’d be doubling back and waste my limited amount of gas. I do have over fifteen hundred miles to drive.”

  “Well I sure as shit can’t stay in town with the C.V.P.M. gunning for my head,” I said, and at that same time, I knew what Dana was going to say.

  “You can always come with me. I’ve got everything all packed in the back,” he said.

  Yep, I knew it. After a long and heavy sigh, I answered bitterly, “If you can’t get me to Readlyn, I might as well.”

  I turned to look out the window of the car; it’d been a while since I’d been out of town. I intended on keeping my eyes affixed to the glass to hide from Dana’s prying eyes. It was a self-protective front. He was getting what he wanted, a partner to travel across the country with. The disappearance of my original notebook and the C.V.P.M. getting ahold of it, as well as Dana being right there to scoop me up on the side of the road in my time of trouble, are all too convenient for him. Convenient enough to make me suspicious of him, and I don’t want him to see that’s how I feel. Not yet. If I find out what I’m thinking is true, I’ll kill him.

  “It will probably take three or four days to get there if we have to stop. With you here, and minimal stops, we could probably make it in two if we switch seats and keep driving,” Dana suggested.

  “I hate long car rides,” I explained. “We can try, but I can’t promise that I will retain any sanity.”

  Dana chuckled. “If they aren’t at the house, I want to begin looking for any fallout shelters. It might take us a while to find them.”

  “We can’t just wander around forever, Dana.”

  “I know that. With the food we have, we could probably search for three to five days. After that, we either need to settle somewhere, or head back.”

  “Agreed. What’s the name of the town they live in?” I asked.

  “Newberry Springs. The fastest and only roadway I know by memory takes us through a few big towns. I’d like to avoid attention, but we have to drive through Des Moines, then Omaha, Denver, and finally Las Vegas.”

  “I’m more worried about people than infected,” I groaned. “Big towns are probably starving by now. We shouldn’t stop around them.”

  “That’s what I was thinking.”

  By this point in our conversation, we had already made it onto the interstate. To my surprise, within an hour of our journey, we passed an oncoming car. It was nice, honestly. It was like the world was trying to tell us that it was still alive. Maybe at a crawling pace, but it was still pushing forward. Trying to adapt and find ways to survive. I wish the person driving that car the best of luck. I hope they make it to their destination.

  We just passed through Des Moines, and it was mostly uneventful. Abandoned vehicles were scattered along the road like sprinkles on a cake. One of the infected noticed us when Dana tried to squeeze the car between an SUV and a bus. I was just watching the right side of our car when the zombie slammed into one of the bus’s windows. It tried to pummel its way out, but we managed to get through without spending too much time to see if it did. Since then, we haven’t had any problems. Not even a pit stop.

  I’m going to recline and try to rest for a while. Dana wants me to drive around nine or ten o’clock, so I had better take a nap. I’ve never been a fan of driving at night, and I don’t want to be the cause of any failure to reach California. It seems weird thinking that I’m going to California. But it’s the beginning of another cha
pter, I guess.

  I understand that this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I could just move on from the Warehouse and forget about it, but I can’t. I’m leaving behind the only people and places that tie me to anything normal. Branden, the Warehouse, and Cedar Falls. That’s all I have, right there, and all of it is going to be more than fifteen hundred miles away from me. God help me, because this is not where I want to be.

  Over and over I keep asking myself, How did it get to this? and I never answer myself back. It would be a waste of time to tell myself the answer I already know. Dana is a smart guy. He’s also manipulative. But Dana keeps a log of his own, I know. Maybe he is as foolish as me and writes everything down in it. I just need a clue that points the blame on him, but I want a confession.

  Dana, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that as I am writing this, you are sitting right next to me. If there is ever a time I have contemplated the process of justifying cold-blooded murder, you should know that it is now. You, sir, set me up. You gave the C.V.P.M. my notebook because you needed someone to come with you to California. You turned me in, like it was my fault Bruce is dead when you’re the one that made the call. You’ve destroyed everything I’ve fought for over the last two weeks, and it will more than likely cost me my life. I’m on to you.