Tainted Bastard

by Terri Anne Browning

  Chapter 23

  Roanna

  I folded my sweat-soaked shirt and placed it in the laundry bag so it wouldn’t make the rest of the clean clothes in my gym bag smell. My face was flushed from the show earlier, and my throat was on fire like it always was after singing for a solid hour, only times ten.

  I felt like hell, could feel a damn cold already trying to drain me, but I didn’t want to ruin the rest of the night. Not when I was spending it with Sin at his place.

  For the past four months, Sin and I had been inseparable. I slept at his house at least three times a week, which would have been more if it were up to him. Hell, after that first sleepover, he took me shopping so that I would have my body wash and shampoo at his place. More and more of my things were ending up at his apartment. If I didn’t miss my friends so much and need a few nights with them, he already would have had me moved in with him.

  And I was seriously thinking about it.

  When his bandbrothers went back East for Thanksgiving and Christmas to be with family for the holidays, he stayed behind with me. It was the best Christmas of my life.

  Fuck, it’d been the best four months of my life.

  The nightmares had slowed down until, lately, they had been complete no-shows, making sleep sweetly peaceful. Especially when I got to sleep in Sin’s arms.

  “Hey,” Genesis said as she walked into the green room. She had a beer in her hand and a frown puckering her brow. “Did you know the TK assholes are going to Vegas this weekend for Harris’s bachelor party?”

  I shook my head, zipping my bag. “Nope. Haven’t heard anything. Why?”

  She lifted her brows at me, as if she thought I’d lost some brain cells or something. She wouldn’t have been wrong. As drained as I was feeling, my brain seemed fogged up. “Ro, your man is going to Vegas this weekend. Without you.”

  “No way,” I laughed, but it came out sharp and lacking any trace of humor. “He would have told me if he were going.”

  He told me everything. Fuck, we were practically attached at the hip, and even though I was worried I was smothering him, he was the one who chased after me if I tried to give him some space.

  Still, he would have told me about a trip to Vegas with his bandbrothers for a bachelor party.

  Wouldn’t he?

  Suddenly I didn’t know and my confidence in him—my trust—was starting to slip.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to go…

  Scratch that.

  I didn’t want him to go, but I wouldn’t have stopped him.

  Yet he hadn’t said a single word about it.

  If it was even true.

  Shit, I was getting all worked up, and I didn’t know if he was actually going or not. Genesis wouldn’t lie to me, but she could have heard someone just bullshitting around. Just because they said the Tainted Knights guys were going didn’t mean all of them were.

  Because Sin wouldn’t do that to me…?

  Damn it.

  Angrily, I slung the strap of my bag over my shoulder and marched out the door without a word to either of my soul sisters.

  “Ro,” Aubree tried to call after me, but I was too upset to pause.

  My boots clicked on the hardwood floors as I stomped through the club, avoiding any and all of the hundreds of people still in attendance who tried to approach me. The majority of them were drunk at this point in the night, and I wasn’t about to let one of those dumbasses fuck with me.

  My hair bounced as I stormed past Tiny, who was standing at attention in his normal spot in front of the stairs that led up to the VIP floor. “Hey, Ro,” he greeted. “You okay?”

  “Tiny,” I half growled over my shoulder. “I’m good,” I lied.

  Good was a huge overstatement. I was feeling like total shit, and now I had to find out if my boyfriend had been keeping stuff from me.

  Sin had driven me to the club earlier and said he would wait for me upstairs after the show since Gray and Kale were coming tonight and wanted to hang out. I figured we would all go out for dinner together afterward with Kassa and Santana.

  It wouldn’t have been the first time we’d gone on a triple date. I liked both of the other two TK members’ girlfriends, and we always had a good time when we were all together. But just because we hung out when our boyfriends did didn’t make us besties.

  I knew exactly where they would be. It was as if the back corner of the VIP floor was their own personal sanctuary within First Bass. Two couches and two leather chairs were pulled together so they were facing each other with plenty of walking space between them. Sin was sitting in one of the chairs, while Gray and Kassa took up one of the couches and Kale and Santana occupied the other. The two chicks, total opposites in appearances, were laughing as they chatted. The guys were sitting close to each other, leaning forward so they could talk quieter.

  As if they had a fucking secret and were giggling little bitches at a sleepover.

  My nostrils flared as I stomped over to them.

  Gray saw me first, and amusement filled his sand-colored eyes. I saw his lips move, and instantly, Sin snapped his head around. He jerked to his feet, meeting me long before I could reach their group.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded, his hands catching my elbows as concern knitted his brow together. “Are you okay?”

  I shrugged off his hold. “You’re going to Vegas tomorrow?”

  “Fuck,” he groaned, his eyes filling with dread. “Sweet girl,” he began in a soothing voice that normally would have had me melting against him.

  “I’ll take that as a yes. Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded, feeling tears sting my eyes.

  “Because I knew you would be upset,” he said with a grunt, trying to grab my arms again.

  I stepped back. “The only reason I’m upset right now is because I had to hear about it from someone else the day before you’re leaving.”

  “I was going to tell you later tonight,” he assured me.

  “How was that conversation supposed to go, huh? You were just going to fuck my brains out, and while I’m half asleep, tell me you are going to fucking Vegas for a bachelor party?” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “Or were you just going to leave a note saying ‘See ya Monday, sweet girl’?”

  “Ro—”

  “Will there be strippers? You planning on getting a lap dance? Maybe the party is going to be at one of those bunny ranches.”

  His eyes narrowed on me. “Now you’re just being stupid, baby. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “Stupid?” I whispered, hurt. The threat of tears was growing more and more with each passing second. “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “Stupid to think this was something special to you and that we didn’t have secrets.”

  “Ro, goddamn it.” He caught me around the waist, jerking me against him roughly. “There aren’t going to be any strippers or bunnies or whatever else your damn mind is trying to come up with right now. It’s just a weekend of drinking and gambling with my friends. Nothing else.”

  “And yet you didn’t mention it once.” I pushed him back. “Go. I hope you have fun.”

  Turning, I stomped back to the stairs.

  “For fuck’s sake, Roanna!” he growled from behind me, following me down the steps. “I was going to tell you.”

  “Doubtful,” I snapped.

  I was nearly to the bottom when he tried to grab my arm again. I jerked away from his touch, only to miss the next step.

  “Ro!” Sin’s fingers grazed my arm as I felt myself begin to fall.

  Tiny caught me before I could face-plant on the floor. “You okay?” he asked, noting the tears that were glazing my eyes.

  I gave him a tight smile. “Thanks for the save,” I told him. “I probably would have broken my face. Can’t damage the goods. Then no one will ever come back to see the Blonde Bombshells.”

  His lips tilted up. “Doubtful. Even with a broken face, you would st
ill look good, Ro.”

  Sin took advantage of me being distracted with the head of security to lift me up and toss me over his shoulder. I was getting tired of him carrying me off like that whenever we had an argument. His arms tightened around my legs, making it impossible to kick him like I wanted to.

  He got three feet before I pushed his beltless jeans down over his ass, making them fall to his knees. The group that was just coming into the club stopped behind him, gawking.

  I smacked him on his ass, thankful he was wearing boxer briefs. “Put me down before you fall, asshole.”

  “Keep it up, sweet girl. I’ll kick these damn jeans off and walk out of here bare-assed if I have to,” he warned.

  “Whatever,” I muttered, calling his bluff. “Your keys are in your pocket. You won’t leave them behind.”

  “Didn’t say I was leaving them. Just that I would walk out of here bare-assed if I have to.” He moved aside so the group could get by.

  As one of the girls passed, she paused and helped him pull his jeans up. I watched as the brunette got close, her hands touching what was mine.

  Fuck no.

  I squirmed, kicking her in the chest with one foot. She jerked back.

  “Oops, sorry. Not sorry,” I snarled at her. “Get the fuck away from my boyfriend, slut.”

  “Jeesh, I was trying to help. Chill out, bitch.” She rushed off before I could kick her again.

  Laughing, Sin carried me out of the club. His car was parked in the back lot with all the other employees, so he walked around the building, taking the side alley to avoid the crowd still waiting to get in. “Your jealousy is adorable, babe.”

  “Stop laughing at me,” I yelled at him, beating my hand against his jean-covered ass. “I’m pissed at you, and you think it’s funny.”

  Reaching his car, he opened the passenger door and set me down. Crouching down in front of me, he took one of my hands in his and brought it to his lips. “I don’t think it’s funny that you’re pissed at me. It’s cute that you wanted to tear that chick’s head off just for helping me out.”

  “No one asked her to put her nose in our business,” I grumbled. “Her hands were on you, and you didn’t say shit.”

  “She helped me pull my pants up so I wouldn’t fall and drop the most precious thing in my world.” He leaned in, kissing the corner of my mouth.

  I pulled my head back after the first contact, needing to stay coherent so I didn’t give in. He’d hurt me tonight, something I had been sure Sin would never do.

  “For someone who is so precious to you, you sure know how to make her heart ache,” I told him, turning away so I didn’t have to look at him.

  “Ro,” he said with a long exhale. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I want to go, but I didn’t want to upset you.”

  “You failed that mission pretty spectacularly.” Pulling my hand free, I crossed my hands over my chest. “All you had to do was tell me when you first decided you were going. Instead, you didn’t say jack shit.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I tossed my hair out of my face. “Take me home, Sin. I’m tired.” I suddenly felt weak and exhausted. I didn’t even want to be around him right then. I just wanted to go home, take a long, hot shower, and curl up in my bed.

  “Are you still coming back to my place?” he asked, hopeful.

  “You still going to Vegas tomorrow?” I was more than a little hopeful myself.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  I shook my head. “Then no. I want to go home. You either drive me, or I’ll go with the girls. I don’t really give a fuck how I get there right now.”

  “Don’t be mad at me,” he muttered, still not moving from where he was crouched beside my seat. “I’m just going drinking with my friends, Ro. I’m going to blow some money on booze and the poker tables. I’ll be back Sunday night.”

  I shrugged, dropping my head back against the seat. “Have fun,” I choked out, my throat killing me.

  “Babe, don’t be like this.”

  “Like what?” I demanded, fighting tears. “Hurt? Upset that you kept this from me? Sorry, I can’t turn it off at your command. It doesn’t work like that. Go. Have fun this weekend. But don’t expect me to be okay about it.”

  “You have girls’ nights with the Blondes all the time, Ro,” he reminded me. “I don’t get pissed at you.”

  “And I tell you about it well in advance, dickhead. I’m not mad you’re going out with your fucking friends. I’m mad you didn’t say anything for what—weeks?” His silence only pissed me off more. “Months? You’ve been planning this for months and didn’t say a word. Nice.”

  “Fine. You don’t want me to go, I won’t fucking go.” He tried to cup my face. “I’ll stay home, and we can stay at my place all weekend. Just stop being mad at me.”

  “Oh, fuck you! You think I even want to be around you right now?” I slapped his hand away. “Just take me home.”

  Standing, he raked his hands through his hair. “Fuck!” he bellowed and walked around to the driver’s side.

  I closed the door and put on my seat belt, kicking my gym bag out of my way with the same aggression I wanted to use to kick him in the face.

  As soon as he pulled into traffic, he reached for my hand. I let him take it, let him place it on his thigh and rub his fingertips over the back of it. His touch, even when it was this innocent, felt so damn good.

  I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was addicted to the feel of his skin on mine in any shape or form. I’d gotten so spoiled from it, most nights I couldn’t even sleep until he’d spent hours rubbing my back. I never had to ask, making me think he was just as addicted to touching me as I was to his hands on me.

  “I really won’t go if you don’t want me to,” he told me as he stopped for a red light a few blocks away.

  I closed my eyes, turning my head to the window so he wouldn’t see the tear that spilled down my cheek. “No. I want you to go.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want you to tell me no.”

  “You’re a grown-ass man, Sin. You can do whatever the hell you want. It just would have been nice to have a heads-up.”

  He lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my palm. I clenched my eyes shut, equal parts hot and cold at the soft touch of his mouth on my flesh. Sin had this ability to make me crave him, and I allowed myself to fall deeper and deeper for him.

  Now, I realized just how much control I’d given him over me.

  I thought telling him I loved him would give him too much power, but now it was glaringly obvious he had it regardless.

  I felt almost a physical pain as I started putting up all the walls I’d let him tear down. Fuck, I’d helped him take a wrecking ball to a few of them, but it was time to rebuild.

  “Stop it, Ro,” his dark voice commanded.

  “Stop what?” I choked out.

  “You’re shutting me out again.”

  He was right, but there was no stopping it.

  I stayed quiet the rest of the ride home. As soon as he stopped the car, I was grabbing my bag and jerking the door open. I just wanted to sleep for the next few days, forget he was going to Vegas—without me—and would be doing things that could put our relationship in jeopardy. There were plenty of brunettes in Vegas he could fuck all weekend long.

  I was unlocking the door to the apartment building when Sin wrapped his arms around me from behind. “When I get back Sunday, I’ll pick you up. Be ready.”

  “Monday will be better,” I countered. “You will be tired from your flight and partying all weekend.”

  His lips pressed against my ear. “Be ready Sunday evening, Ro.”

  “No. I’ll see you Monday.” Removing the key from the lock, I pulled away from him and pushed the door open. “Enjoy your trip,” I muttered, stepping inside.

  “Ro,” he growled from behind me.

  “Bye, Sin.”

  By the time I got on the eleva
tor, my head felt like it was about to split open. My throat was still burning, and I felt like I was freezing. Wrapping my arms around myself, I punched the number for my floor and closed my eyes.

  As I stepped into the apartment, my phone lit up with a text message.

  Sunday.

  Rolling my eyes, I went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. There was a half-full bottle of NyQuil from when Genesis had a cold two weeks before. Grabbing it, I twisted off the top and swallowed a huge mouthful before recapping it.

  Taking the bottle with me to my room, I tossed both it and my gym bag on my bed and stripped before going back to take a shower.

  By the time I got back to my room, the NyQuil was doing its job, and I felt marginally better and was practically asleep on my feet. I face-planted on the bed and reached blindly for my phone.

  There were no more texts from Sin, but Aubree had sent one.

  You okay? You didn’t look so good when you left. Did you fight with Sin? Want me to come home?

  Dashing at a few tears that were leaking from my eyes, I turned off my phone and tossed it on the floor. I didn’t want to talk to or see anyone, not even my soul sisters. I just wanted to sleep the entire weekend and forget this night.

  Chapter 24

  Roanna

  The next time I opened my eyes, it took a few seconds to figure out why my entire body ached. I groaned as I turned over in bed, only to wish I hadn’t. My throat was on fire.

  Whimpering at the pain, I pushed back my covers and slowly sat up on the edge of the bed.

  Aubree wasn’t in her own bed, but there was proof she’d been there recently. The covers were tossed back. She normally made it after she had breakfast, so I knew she’d come home the night before.

  My head was pounding, and with my throat feeling the way it did, I knew I needed to get some prescription meds before I lost my voice and couldn’t sing next week. Groaning at the expense, because I didn’t have freaking insurance, I put on a pair of sweat pants and a thick hoodie and walked into the living room.

  London and Aubree were sitting on the couch eating bowls of cereal, but their heads snapped up as I walked into the room.