Alien Education

by Gini Koch

  Heaved a sigh. “Walt, did anyone alert you to what’s just gone on?”

  “Yes, and I have eyes on you and the President. But Director Katt said that things were under control, though she agreed that Lieutenant Billings and Captain Muir should go to cover you.”

  “Yeah, Joe and Randy are here with us.”

  “Yes, I see them, too. Everyone else is inside, per Director Katt’s order. I’m sorry for letting the imposter in. I should have had him tested.” Walter sounded ready to resign.

  “Um, why would you have ever thought to have done that?”

  “Because we know there are copies of you, Chief First Lady. I should have assumed that there are copies of everyone.”

  “Walt, we all should have thought of that. Stop berating yourself. This is how we learn. By the way, where is the real Christopher and when did you let this fake Christopher in?”

  “I’ve confirmed that the real Primary is at Dulce.” Primary was an Alpha Four term for a close relative to the Head Dude who was also in charge of protecting things, which fit Christopher pretty much exactly. “The imposter arrived just before I put the shields on. He arrived via a gate.”

  “Oh really? Do we know which gate he came from?” Walter had been one of the Security agents running the gates at the Science Center before I’d hired him on as our Head of Security during Operation Confusion, and if there was anyone who could get intel out of the gates system, it was him.

  “Yes, I’ve backtracked it. He came in via a gate from Dulles International Airport.”

  “Huh. You mean the same airport it’s likely that someone flying in from Bahrain would be landing at?”

  “Yes.”

  “Interesting. Don’t write the letter of resignation I can practically feel you composing in your head, Walt. If I had to resign every time I’d made a minor error I’d never have had my first career, let alone all the ones since joining Centaurion Division. And that’s an order.”

  “Yes, ma’am, Chief First Lady.” He sounded a little better, which was good. “Shields will be going down in less than two minutes.”

  “Gotcha.” We hung up. “I’m glad that at least Mom trusts us to handle things with only Six Million Dollar Man backup.” Joe and Randy were flanking us now and both grinned at me.

  Jeff sighed and pointed to the roof of the White House. Where I saw a lot of snipers, including one whose stance I recognized—it was the stance of someone who’d spent a long time shooting people from rooftops. “I’m just wondering why they didn’t shoot him,” Jeff nodded toward the Christopher-Bot. “Siler in particular.”

  “They did shoot at me,” the Christopher-Bot said. “Then they stopped when Kitty got near to me.”

  “Don’t refer to me in a friendly manner, please. We aren’t friends yet. But yeah, that makes sense. So, who’s the person in charge of this Bot Initiative? And why Bots? They’re so much less adaptable than androids.”

  “We’re more disposable,” the Christopher-Bot said calmly. “We’re made faster and on an assembly line. Androids take more time, power, care, and have a higher rate of failure.”

  “So how is it you can overcome your programming, then?” Jeff asked.

  “I don’t know. I just know that I have.”

  “Or,” I pointed out, “you could be programmed to think this, come here and talk to us, and then explode.”

  The Christopher-Bot seemed to consider this. “That’s true. I don’t feel that it’s correct, but I can see how it could be.”

  “So, before that potentially happens, who’s behind all of this?”

  The Christopher-Bot opened his mouth as Bruno screamed another warning. And this time, I heard a different, but no less threatening, noise.

  “Run!” Jeff bellowed, as he grabbed Prince and flung him under one arm, while Bruno dive-bombed his way down to me.

  I got the bird tucked under my arm like a large, feathery football as Jeff grabbed my hand, Joe grabbed Duke, and Randy grabbed Riley, and we all headed off for the nearest building at top speed.

  “You, too!” Jeff shouted to the Christopher-Bot over his shoulder.

  But it was too late.

  CHAPTER 13

  LOOKED BACK TO SEE the incoming rocket slam into the Christopher-Bot. It exploded in a shower of parts as we reached the stately front columns. Was prepared for more rockets to launch, but there was nothing.

  “What the literal hell?” Joe asked everyone and no one.

  “The weirdness thickens, basically. So, any guesses for who just blew up our latest informant?”

  “No,” Randy said. “But if he was right and Somerall and Lee have wires in their brains, then they’re inside with everyone else right now.”

  My phone rang again. Dropped Jeff’s hand but kept a hold of Bruno while I got my phone again. “Yes, Walt?” The guys put the dogs down, presumably because German Shepherds were a lot heavier than Peregrines.

  “Shields are back up.” Walter sounded shaken.

  “Did all the deliveries and Bahrainis get inside?”

  “Yes, that’s what took so long. I’m sorry, but they were all coming in when the rocket launched, and turning the shields on when people are coming in can be . . . dangerous. For them.”

  “We understand. None of this is your fault.”

  “But it is, because this is my job.”

  Handed the phone to Jeff. “Reassure our most loyal and efficient security dude that he’s not allowed to quit his job.” Jeff took the phone and started speaking to Walter. Meanwhile, I looked around. “Dudes, this is getting weirder by the minute, and by that I mean we’re well past what the real flesh-and-blood Christopher likes to call Kitty Weird.”

  Joe nodded. “Want us to recover the parts?”

  “I want someone to do that, but I’m worried that whoever has the rocket launcher will just start shooting at you two next.”

  “That was a very well-aimed, limited strike,” Randy said. “It wasn’t aimed at any of us, just at the robot.”

  Jeff handed me my phone back. “Walter’s feeling better. Which makes exactly one of us. Seriously, has any other administration been unable to go out onto the grounds without expecting gunfire and bombs, or is it just us?”

  “Nope, you’re pretty much winning that one, Jeff,” Joe said cheerfully.

  “But look at it this way,” Randy added. “You’re leading the pack again.”

  “Oh yes, that makes me feel so much better.” Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “Now what?”

  My phone rang again. Decided answering it was what was currently what. “Malcolm? What’s up?”

  “We have the mad bomber in custody. So to speak.”

  “Who’s we and who’s the mad bomber?”

  “We is me and Wruck, since Siler’s having a nostalgic moment on the White House rooftop. And you’re just going to love who the mad bomber is.”

  “Breathless with anticipation.”

  “It’s Christopher.”

  Let that sit on the air for a bit. “The real one or another fake one?”

  “Another fake one, per the OVS that, thankfully, all of Security are required to carry on their persons at all times.”

  “Yeah, that was a good order we put into effect. So, um, is this Christopher saying anything?”

  “Yes. He says that he wants to speak with you and warn you against the robot he just blew up, as well as against Somerall and Lee, who he feels are there to kill all of you. He also insists that he’s become a real boy and has overcome his programming.”

  “Just like the one he blew up just said. Right before he was blown up, I mean.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. And the blown up Christopher-Bot also said that Somerall and Lee aren’t fully human in their brain parts anymore. Which might be true, since Jeff feels certain they’ve got emoti
onal overlays going and they insist they know nothing of this.”

  “Wonderful. So, it’s the usual party.” Buchanan sounded like he wanted to hit someone or something, but didn’t feel he had an appropriate target. I could relate.

  “Apparently so. And here I thought the day couldn’t get any worse than my morning show stint.”

  “Oh, never think that, Missus Executive Chief. That’s pretty much you daring the universe, and we all know that the universe loves to take your dares.”

  “Okay, point totally taken. By the way, the blown up Christopher-Bot said that he was the only Christopher-Bot in existence.”

  “Huh. This Christopher-Bot says that he had to destroy the other one because that one was impersonating him.”

  “Interesting choice, to program in paranoia. I don’t get why whoever’s in charge has chosen that as a thing, but apparently that’s how this particular group of robotic loons are rolling. Lucky us.”

  “Truly. So, what would you like us to do with this still-living, if we choose to call it that, Christopher-Bot?”

  “Um, bring him in? Carefully. Since I’m sure there’s another one out there gunning for this one. For all we know, there could be a phalanx of them, all waiting to kill each other one by one. It’s like we’ve fallen into a Russian nesting doll factory or something.”

  “Something like that, I’ll give you. I’m not confident about bringing him into the complex when we already have two suspected living bombs in there already.”

  Handed the phone to Jeff. “Once again, you get to make the Executive Decision. Enjoy Malcolm sharing what’s happening where he’s at.” Decided Bruno was getting heavy and put him down.

  He nudged against me to reassure me that he didn’t mind and had appreciated our cuddling. Gave him a scritchy-scratch between his wings as I looked around and gave Joe and Randy the fast recap while Buchanan brought Jeff up to speed and they discussed how much foolhardier we wanted to be.

  “So, um, dudes, your thoughts?” Prince, Duke, and Riley, not to be outdone by a bird, clustered around me for petting, which I gave them in abundance.

  “I think we need to get inside,” Joe said.

  “And stop Somerall and Lee from either blowing up, filming everyone, or potentially being assassinated,” Randy said. “We need to get them under protection if they’re really not human anymore. Or if they’re still fully human, come to think of it.”

  “Not that we’ll know without a brain scan,” Joe added with a bitter laugh.

  “That’s it. We need their brains examined. You two, get them to Tito right now, under heavy guard. Tell him to do a brain scan and see what we get.”

  “Doctor Hernandez might want to take them to Dulce,” Joe said.

  “He might, but he can probably scan them here. Let’s do the initial scan with them still under our complete control. Then, if they’re robotic in any way, we’ll decide what we do with them.”

  “You think the Christopher robot was lying?” Randy asked.

  “I think it’s got a lot of potential, since there is indeed another Christopher-Bot and Malcolm and John have got him. Honestly, right now, I think everyone’s lying to us—Somerall, Lee, the Christopher-Bots, and the Kristie-Bot or android or whatever she is. I think we’re surrounded by liars and it’s time we get to at least a semblance of the truth. If that’s even possible, probable, or even potentially viable in the far, far future.”

  Jeff handed me my phone back. “Buchanan and I agree with Kitty. Let’s get everyone examined and then figure out how much we panic.”

  My phone rang again. Managed not to complain. At least these were all people I knew and liked calling. “Lizzie, what’s up?”

  “Um, the Bahrainis are waiting for you and I think they’re totes getting kind of offended. I don’t know that they know what’s going on and all that jazz and I think you need to get in here, fast.”

  “Mona knows how we roll. So does everyone else with her.”

  “Ah, not everyone else,” Lizzie said, sounding worried. “That Wasim kid didn’t come alone. He’s got bodyguards. And they’re kind of jerks.”

  “Fan-freaking-tastic. I will be right there.” Hung up and heaved a sigh. “Okay, you guys do whatever and get someone we can trust to gather up the late Christopher-Bot’s bits. I have to go be diplomatic.”

  Joe grinned. “We’ll advise Walter that the explosions will continue.”

  CHAPTER 14

  COULDN’T FIND MY SHOES, which was problematic. Bruno, Duke, Riley, and Prince couldn’t find my shoes, either. Gave up and went inside the main building via the foyer to the Diplomatic Reception Room at hyperspeed because Lizzie hadn’t made it sound like a casual saunter or regally swanning in was in order.

  Everyone came with me, though Jeff stopped to order some of the Secret Service agents nearby to handle Blown Up Bot Cleanup Duty. Lucky them.

  Found everyone other than my team clustered in here with my mother, who had a long-suffering look on her face and, thankfully, was also holding my shoes. “Your team is trying to salvage the Bahraini situation. Len and Kyle went with them for protection.”

  “Why didn’t you go with them?”

  Mom gave me the “really?” look as she handed me my pumps. “Because I might know them.”

  Pondered this as I put my shoes back on. “Ah. And you might not like them. Or vice versa. Got it.” Wondered just who the hell Raheem had sent with his grandson. Considered who Mom sent with her grandchildren—people like Buchanan, Siler, Wruck, and several other P.T.C.U. tough guys and gals. Yeah, okay, perhaps having the Mossad Mamma showing up before the official introductions wasn’t a wise move.

  “Thanks for catching on so quickly.” Mom heaved a sigh. “You’ll want to take both of your security teams with you. You might want to take Jeff’s along as well.”

  This was different. Mom rarely shoved the Secret Service at us, because she understood how we rolled and was in favor of it most of the time. Therefore, she wasn’t suggesting this because of anything that had gone on so far.

  “You think I need to show that I have more bodyguards than Prince Wasim, don’t you?”

  “Let’s just say that I’ve dealt with more teenagers and foreign dignitaries than you have, so far, and leave it at that.”

  “Len and Kyle are impressive, you know.”

  Chuckie nodded. “They are, but I’m sure Angela’s right, Kitty. In this instance, you’re going to need more than Len and Kyle. I’d suggest that Jeff go with you, only I think that would also give the wrong impression.”

  “That we were too impressed and therefore Prince Wasim would feel that he could do anything because clearly we’re thrilled he’s here.”

  “Exactly.” Chuckie managed a grin. “On the plus side your security teams will get to do something.”

  “You mean other than guard the two potential prisoners?” Jeff asked, nodding his head toward the Security Huddle that was around Somerall and Lee.

  “Yeah. Joe and Randy can handle them. They’re taking them to Tito anyway.”

  As I said this, the rest of the flyboys arrived. “We called in backup,” Joe said.

  “Because we’re not stupid or trusting,” Randy added.

  Jerry Tucker, my favorite flyboy, winked at me. “I hear we’re back to the usual insanity, Commander.”

  “Always, as near as I can tell.”

  “Not to worry,” Matt Hughes said with a grin. “We know how to bust heads.”

  “Or not, if they’re going to explode,” Chip Walker added.

  “You guys light up my life. Okay, let’s have you take Ansom and Talia to Tito pronto. Do the brain scans and such. And let me know immediately what’s going on.”

  “I’ll go with them,” Chuckie said. “I want to have Buchanan bring the robot they caught back, too, and we might as well have Tito and a science team
take a look.”

  “Under heavy guard,” Jeff said worriedly. “We don’t need any more explosions today.”

  “Not that that means we won’t get them,” I said, as I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. Then I motioned to my security teams and they broke away and came to me. “Anyone know where our Bahraini visitors actually are?”

  “Yes, I got a text from Lizzie,” Evalyne Green, the head of my Secret Service detail, shared. “They’re in the Blue Room.”

  “I got one from her too,” Phoebe Manning, the second-in-command of said detail who was, thankfully, no relation to the late, unlamented android Leslie Manning. Had a moment of nostalgia for Leslie and Bryce Taylor, an also unlamented android who’d been her brother, as it had turned out. Not everyone from the Washington Wife class had somehow become my friend. Or were still living. “She seems more than a little freaked out.”

  My brain nudged. There was something about Leslie and Bryce it wanted me to think about. But I had no idea of what or why. “Yeah, Lizzie called me. Apparently we have a situation that demands bodyguard one-upmanship.”

  “I just hope they don’t object to being scanned with an OVS again,” Evalyne said as we started off. We were only going a floor above where we were, but it was going to take forever at human normal based on the route we needed to take to get there. Which was fine with me—now wasn’t the time to use up my hyperspeed reserves.

  “Better them objecting and being proven to be human than us having more androids or robots running around,” Phoebe countered.

  My brain nudged—harder. Okay, apparently it was time to think about Leslie and Bryce, aka, The Original Made From Scratch Androids.

  Well, sort of made from scratch. They’d been made from their original DNA, because they were the children of Evil Genius Extraordinaire, the late and, in this case, great Antony Marling. Marling’s androids could pass for human, complete with emotions, until you cracked their outer shell, so to speak. Though we’d destroyed Leslie and Bryce during Operation Assassination, most of the first generation androids like these had been destroyed during Operation Destruction, though we knew we hadn’t gotten them all.