Deny Me

by Fiona Cole

The attendant fell hook, line, and sinker. “How sweet. Usually men aren’t allowed in the women’s dressing room, but since you are the only ones here, I don’t see an issue.” She quickly walked back to collect Jameson.

  Looking at myself in the mirror, I devised a plan. I was in a thin, white, silky slip that hit right above the knee, and a lacy push-up half-bra that dipped low in the front. My tits looked amazing. Jameson had seen me in less when we went swimming, but I knew he would get flustered seeing me in underwear. I wanted to clap my hands, imagining the look on his face. I let my chocolate waves out of the clip to fall down my back, and slipped my heels on.

  “Luella, what dress do you want me to see?” He sounded irritated.

  “Well nothing, if you’re going to be pissy about it,” she fired back.

  “It was a late night at the bar, so getting a call to bring my sister a bag of lace when I should be sleeping doesn’t put me in a great mood.”

  “You looked?!” she screeched.

  “Not intentionally,” he said, sounding embarrassed. “I slammed on my brakes and they fell out. I had to put them back in.”

  My hand flew to my mouth, stifling the laughter from the mental picture of this big man picking up his sister’s sexy lace underwear. Gathering my composure, I decided it was time to strike.

  I flung the curtain open and stepped out, staring down at my breasts as I cupped them, pretending I didn’t see Jameson at all. “Lu, what do you think of my breasts in this bra? Do they look perky enough?”

  I looked up, gasping in shock at seeing Jameson. “Oh, no,” I said, lifting my hand to caress the skin of my chest. “Jameson, I didn’t know you were in here.” Luella was snorting, trying to hold in her laughter at my exaggerated show. “But while you’re here, why don’t I get your opinion?” I cupped my boobs again, lifting them for inspection. “Do they look perky enough in this bra?”

  Finally taking a moment to meet his eyes, I prepared myself for a look of embarrassed shock. Instead, I was greeted with overwhelming heat. If his eyes could reach out and touch me, they would have singed my skin. The smile slipped from my lips and I swallowed, trying to wet my dry mouth.

  His eyes scanned all the way down to my pumps and back up to the breasts I lifted for his inspection. A lifetime seemed to pass as his stare stroked a fire across my skin. My breath stuttered out between my lips at the way he took me in. It threw me off and I was struggling to collect myself.

  “Like what you see, Jameson?” Lu asked, laughter filling her voice.

  His eyes blinked a few times, pulling himself from the trance. Looking between us, he seemed to make a decision. Standing tall, I prepared myself for whatever he would throw my way.

  He focused his eyes on me and let them slide up my body again. But this time was different, it was an intentional ogling that shocked me. Jameson never stared at me like that. I would catch him every once in a while, checking me out, but never so openly ogling my body.

  When he dropped the bag at Lu’s feet and started taking steps toward me, a fluttering kicked up in my chest. But I set my jaw and held his stare. Whatever his plan was, I would win.

  Nothing could have prepared me for when he squatted down and hoisted me up over his shoulder. I let out a loud yelp and braced my hands on his firm ass. As he began walking with me still over his shoulder, I beat at his back and demanded, “Put me down, Jameson King!” His response was to slap my ass and keep walking. “Luella, help me!”

  That traitor only laughed.

  “Jameson, put me down!”

  “Fine,” he said calmly, dropping me to the floor.

  A victorious smile formed on my lips until I saw he had brought me into the fitting room. He winked before turning back to Luella, who was still laughing in her chair, and said, “Ignore the moan of pleasure coming from in here. It’s just me fucking Evie.” Her smile falling was the last thing I saw before the curtain closed and he turned to me.

  My back hit the mirror as I backed away from him.

  “Jameson,” I tried to reason. “Don’t you-”

  My words were cut off as he covered my mouth with his hand, only letting muffled groans escape. “Oh yeah, Evie. Rub all over my dick. That’s a good girl.”

  My eyes were going to pop out of my head from shock hearing Jameson talk dirty to me with his sister right outside. My body just leaned against the glass as I stared into his cocky eyes. They held victory because he had the upper hand and knew it. How was I losing?

  I had reached out to grab his crotch when the curtain was ripped back and Lu’s eyes flicked from me to him, her lip curled in disgust. “Fucking gross, Jameson.”

  Tossing his head back, he let out a deep laugh and removed his hand from my mouth. “Maybe that’ll teach you guys to stop playing with me.” He edged out of the small enclosure, kissing Lu on the head on his way out. “See you later, baby sister.” He gave me a wink before turning to walk out of the gold room, tossing over his shoulder, “Enjoy your dress shopping.”

  We stood frozen, watching his retreating back. “Well, shit,” I muttered, dropping my shoulders in defeat.

  Lu smirked. “Looks like you need to up your game, Evelyn.”

  Four

  The following weekend, I sat across from a date, watching his lips move but not taking in any of the words he was saying.

  Taylor had asked me on a date a couple of weeks ago. He was an amazing-looking man that I frequently ran into at the coffee shop close to my apartment. Finally, he had approached me and we’d started talking. He was nice, if not a little arrogant, in a pretentious way. He wore designer suits for whatever his job was had mentioned the brand to me a few times in passing. As a designer, I couldn’t help but be a little impressed.

  I think he thought he was being subtle about sharing that he could afford Dolce and Gabbana. But other than his good tastes, I wasn’t impressed by his money. I was a successful woman who could make her own badass clothes.

  But he looked like Scott Eastwood and I wouldn’t mind sleeping with him. So, I agreed to a date with him. When we first pulled up to a place that specialized in hot dogs, I thought I was going to turn around and tell him to not waste my time. But it ended up being a high-end place and I had to give him brownie points for originality. I’d been on a lot of dates, and not one had found such a unique place to take me.

  I felt like his brownie points came in the form of my brand new red pumps that made my legs look fantastic. I knew they were the right choice when he greeted me at the door to my building, staring me up and down. “You look amazing,” he had greeted me with a soft kiss to the cheek. I tried to remember the way he made me feel when his eyes first took me in at the coffee shop, but sitting across from him, listening to him talk about his bank job, I was bored.

  No matter how hard I tried to focus on the man in front of me, my mind kept wandering. I found myself looking around the restaurant, cataloging women’s dresses, running through ideas for Lu’s dress.

  “So, Evelyn. Where do you work?” he asked, lifting his glass of red wine to his lips. His question pushed through the fog and pulled me out of my wandering thoughts.

  “I’m a freelance fashion designer.” I put my fork down in anticipation of him allowing me to talk. In all fairness, it became easy to zone out when he did all the talking.

  “Interesting.” His squinted eyes and tone implied interesting was not meant in a good way. “Why freelance?” I ignored his condescending tone and gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was just curious.

  “I knew freelance was a risk, but I couldn’t resist the idea of being my own boss. I’m a powerhouse, running everything. I make my own rules and chose my career path. I have to admit that it’s worked out pretty damn well for me.”

  “Of course you’re a strong woman. That’s what drew me to you. That, and the way those toned legs look in a pair of heels. That’s what caught my eye originally,” Taylor delivered smoothly, reminding me of the sexy, accomplished man before me, making me eager
to move on into the main event of the night: to get laid. “But I can see the benefits of owning your own business. It’s very admirable to take on such an accomplishment. You know if you ever needed help getting a loan, I work at a bank and would love to help you set up a business.”

  Typical man, thinking a woman needed him to reach her success. My mother taught me better to stand on my own and never rely on a man. I guess it was sweet of him to offer. He began talking again while I stuffed my face with hotdog and continued watching the women passing by on the street.

  I like the way her straps cross in the back. What about that pencil skirt, except looser, in a chiffon and longer? I love that shade of rose. It would complement Lu’s dark hair perfectly.

  Damn, I wished I’d brought my sketchpad.

  “Have you lived in Cincinnati long?”

  His question pulled my attention back to him. “For about ten years. I came here to go to college at UC.”

  “Good college.” As if I needed his approval. The University of Cincinnati had one of the best design programs in the country. It was better than ‘good’. “But ten years isn’t long enough to know the best spots. Maybe I can show you around and let you in on the hidden gems of our city. You know Vine Street used to be a scary place, but now it’s got great restaurants. Like…”

  I wonder if Lu would want gem-colored dresses for bridesmaids? Aquamarine would be fantastic for the beach.

  I began questioning if I wanted to bother sleeping with Taylor since I couldn’t even keep my focus on him for a short conversation. Instead, I stared at his lips moving as he listed off his knowledge. We hadn’t even kissed yet. And while he was sexy like Scott Eastwood, his lips were a little thin. Jameson had full lips that felt like soft pillows pressing against your skin.

  “Have you heard of King’s?” Taylor asked. Apparently he had moved on to listing off local bars.

  The mention of King’s brought Jameson to the forefront of my mind. The past few days, I kept thinking back to the times he roughly covered my mouth with his hand and played back. The past few weeks had shown me a new side to him. At first I was sad to lose to him when he challenged me, but then I got excited about the bigger challenge. It was like a game of sexual chicken. Who would back down first? Not me, that was for sure. I wanted all up on that man. He was the one that wanted a relationship with the sex. I wondered if he would since he was dating that new chick.

  Shit! He asked me a question. What was it? King’s! That’s right.

  “Yeah, my best friend’s brother owns it.”

  “Fascinating.” My face contorted in confusion. It wasn’t very fascinating, but okay. “Maybe we could finish up here and head there for drinks.”

  Internally, I rolled my eyes, not wanting to drag out any more conversation. And I didn’t want to deal with Jameson’s judgy eyes. He always made his disapproval of my dating lifestyle be known. He was traditional, and according to Lu, he has only become more traditional, looking to settle down.

  “Why don’t we just go back to my place for drinks,” I said making a decision to at least take it one step further to remind myself why I wanted to sleep with him. I reached over, dragging my finger down the back of Taylor’s hand sensually and biting my lip. When he looked up, I winked and licked my swollen lips. He talked a lot, but I could keep his mouth busy in other places. When he smiled, his dimple reminded me how much he looked like Scott Eastwood and it sparked my desire. Hopefully, when he kissed me, it would turn to into a roaring flame and could burn these thoughts of Jameson from my mind.

  “Yeah, yeah. Okay,” he stammered, lifting his hand for the check.

  When we stood to walk toward the car, I wrapped my arm through his and began stroking the inside of his bicep as my breasts pressed into the outside of his arm.

  We made our way to where he’d parked his car and I stared at everyone walking past us. Some were dressed up for the night out, some were being catcalled by the homeless men lurking in the entrances of buildings. Despite my rush to have Taylor get me home, I slowed my pace and checked out more outfits.

  When he reached past me to open his car door, he leaned down to press his lips to mine. In that moment, a tall brunette in a cream lacy crop top and mini skater skirt walked past, pulling my gaze toward her, which caused his lips to brush my cheek. He took advantage and trailed his lips down my neck, but I was too entranced with the ideas bombarding me for Luella’s wedding dress. She’d said unique and vintage and all of a sudden I knew what to do.

  I pulled back from Taylor, pushing him back from me as I stepped backwards on the sidewalk. “Actually, I’m sorry, but never mind the drink.” He stood there with wide eyes, frowning at my retreating form. But I had to get home. I had to get this idea down. “Something came up. But let’s do this again sometime. ‘Kay?”

  Lu was going to love this. Evelyn, you are a genius!

  Five

  “What the hell has you so antsy?” Jameson asked from behind the bar. He was getting us drinks for our weekly lunch. I was the first person there and sat in my chair at the table, biting my thumbnail and staring at the gray suede of my booties bobbing up and down.

  “Nothing. Why?” My mind was racing, thinking of the possible reactions Lu would have when I showed her the dress I had stayed up sketching until three in the morning. I hadn’t been this excited about a design in a long time. And the fact that it was for my best friend frayed my nerves.

  “You’re just quiet. Usually you come in with flair and give me hell.”

  “I don’t have to mess with you all the time.” My answer was dull while I stared at the scratches in the wood floor. He was right, though. When I’d arrived, I’d only had brief conversation with him. Even then I answered distractedly.

  What if she didn’t like it?

  I dropped my bouncing foot and turned as he placed our drinks on the table. “What’s going on, Evelyn? You’re never this distracted unless something is wrong.”

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I sat up and fully turned to him. His eyes rested on me, waiting me out. That was Jameson. Always the rock of the family. Even though he wasn’t my family, he had been there when I needed someone. Nostalgia relaxed my posture, allowing me the comfort of having this man before me. I held his eyes and let the moment stretch between us. There weren’t many that we could enjoy like that.

  “Talk to me.”

  My shoulders lifted with my huge sigh and my eyes dropped to my nervous fingers in my lap. Needing to say it out loud, I figured Jameson was as good a person as any. I didn’t want to attack Lu as soon as she walked in, so maybe admitting my nerves would settle them. “I came up with a design for Lu’s wedding dress and I’m nervous she will hate it, but won’t say she hates it because we’re best friends and then it will haunt our friendship forever as the dress she hated but had to wear on her wedding day. Like Beyoncé with her mom who designed her dress and five years later it comes out that Beyoncé hated it and it sits between them like an awkward elephant in the room.” It all rushed out in one solid breath.

  Pulling a deep breath in, I looked up to find his eyebrows raised in shock at my diatribe. But then he started laughing. Full belly laughs that made him fold in half in his chair. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened, glancing side to side to make sure I was the only one watching Jameson have a big ole giggle-fest over my distraught nerves.

  My jaw clamped shut and I ground out, “It’s not funny, Jameson.”

  Sitting back up, he dragged a hand down his face, scratching the scruff on his cheeks. “Evelyn …” He laughed a little more, but his tone rang with some admonishment. “Would Lu tell you she liked a dress just to make you happy?” I cocked my eyebrow, letting him know that it was no surprise that she would. Lifting his hands in surrender, he agreed. “Okay, okay. Yeah she would.”

  “See! I have every right to be nervous,” I accused, stomping my foot.

  “You have no right to be nervous,” he replied in all seriousness, not laughing anymore. Lifting
his hand, he silenced me. “I have seen your designs. You make amazing clothes and anyone would be lucky to have you designing their wedding dress. And you know Lu better than anyone. Of course you will design something beautiful; it’s what you do.” The words were delivered so casually.

  He didn’t even realize that he had just given me one of the best compliments I’d ever had. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest it swelled so big. I dropped my head and reached for my water when tears burned my eyes. Of course I had been complimented on my work before. Many times. But coming from Jameson, who rarely approved of anything out of the norm, such as freelance fashion designing, it was some of the highest praise possible. No one had ever given that to me before.

  I never sought anyone’s approval, but getting it from him lifted me up higher than I had been before. I didn’t know what to say. A silence was starting to linger and become awkward. Or maybe it was just me since he didn’t seem to care that he was bringing me to tears. “Jameson …” I croaked out past the lump in my throat. I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but I had to try.

  Before I could utter a word, the door flung open with a chilling breeze from the outside air. “Hey guys, sorry we’re late. Jack and I … were busy.”

  Jameson cringed and got up to get them drinks. I wasn’t sure how I felt, since being soft with Jameson wasn’t a situation I usually found myself in. But with Lu sitting across the table from me, my earlier nerves returned. Jameson’s surprising reassurance kept me from being a stumbling mess, but it was still nerve-wracking whenever I shared my designs.

  “What’s for lunch today?” Lu asked Jameson when he set the drinks on the table.

  “Pizza. With lots of pineapple and bacon.”

  “Oh, gross!” She made gagging faces sticking her tongue out and Jameson just smirked. “You know fruit has no place on a pizza. It’s just foul!”

  “Hey, hey, hey. Fruit is the perfect contrast to the salty bacon. Am I right, Evie?” He looked to me for reassurance, knowing I loved Hawaiian pizza. It was about the only thing we ganged up on Lu about.