by Fiona Cole
“Not yet.”
The silence became heavy with the words Jameson and I weren’t saying, making the tension at the table awkward.
“My PCR reaction worked this week. I’ve been struggling to get results for the past couple of days, so it’s a huge breakthrough. Now I can move on to work on the gel and then on to the Southern Blot,” Lu blurted out with forced brightness.
Jameson broke eye contact and turned to Lu. “What?” he asked, with a slight shake of his head.
“Something worked out,” Jack piped in, laughing and helping with the confusion. He was used to Lu rambling off science jargon that made no sense to anyone but herself. Either way, it worked to break the somber mood between Jameson and me.
“Where did I go wrong with you?” Jameson asked with mock seriousness. “You’re such a nerd.”
“Damn right I am.” She raised her glass in a salute before taking a drink.
Jack kept the conversation going with another funny story about one of his employees working a case. It made the rest of lunch go by faster, but it didn’t wash the doubt from my mind. It didn’t hide the way Jameson was holding my hand a little bit tighter, like he was afraid I would leave him at any moment.
Twenty-Two
The following Saturday was my birthday, and Lu had talked Jameson into having a get-together that night at King’s. I fought it, but she said we needed to celebrate my last birthday in my twenties. I had to admit that I was excited about the idea. I loved parties, and I loved my birthday. I was a shameless attention-whore when it came to my birthday.
My mom flew in late the previous night and then met me and Lu for a quick lunch on Saturday to catch up. My mom loved Lu. Said she was a strong woman with a future full of success. When Lu showed off her wedding ring and bragged about Jack, my mom eyed her with skepticism and gave her the same warning she gave me. “Be careful with love, dear. It will crush you whole.”
Luella, used to the spiel, gave a polite smile and thanked her for the advice. God, she was the perfect friend. I would miss her fiercely if I left for Italy.
After lunch, my mom went to settle into her hotel and said she would meet me at King’s later. She was around people all the time for business, so when the opportunity for privacy presented itself, she usually took it. I offered to let her stay at my apartment, but said she would enjoy the space to relax. Apparently, the hotel had a spa she was hoping to use. She mentioned us getting facials and pedicures tomorrow for my birthday. Lu said we could push the lunch back to a dinner so I didn’t have to miss our weekly gatherings.
Lu and Jack picked me up to take me to the bar so I could drink without worrying about driving. Poor Jack would be carrying our drunk asses out later that night, but it had been too long since Lu and I had tied one on.
“Bartender! Más alcohol, por favor!” I shouted, leaning over the bar.
“What can I get the sexiest woman in the bar?” Jameson asked, letting his eyes fall to where my breasts spilled out of my low-cut halter top.
“Will you let me take a body shot off your rippling abs?”
Placing his elbow on the bar, he leaned into me. “Not here. Maybe later at home.”
“Hmmmm….” I put my finger to my lips and squinted my eyes in thought.
“What about a blow job?” he suggested.
“Not here. Maybe later at home.” I repeated his words. “Or maybe when you come out from behind that bar. I can meet you in the back. I know the owner, he won’t mind.”
He shook his head at my lewd suggestion, but not before I saw a spark of interest in his dark eyes. “I’ll be out from back here in a bit. One of my bartenders had car issues and I need to cover until he gets here.”
“I know,” I sighed dramatically. “I’ll be waiting for you, Jamie-Boy. But until then, I’ll just take a water. It’s still early, and I don’t want to be completely trashed when my mom comes in.” But part of me was wanting to be drunk when she got here. I had made the decision to not tell my mom about Jameson because I was a chicken shit. She was a smart woman and it wouldn’t have taken her much to figure out a link between Jameson and my putting off accepting the internship. She had always looked at me with pride and I didn’t want to see the disappointment when she made the connection.
“Good choice.” He winked and moved to get my water. When he brought it over, he was looking over my shoulder. “My bartender is here. Finally. You want to go dance once you’re done with your drink?”
“Jamie-Boy is going to dance with me?” I asked excitedly, clapping my hands together.
“Only for you. And only because it’s your birthday.”
“I’m the luckiest girl in the whole world.” I downed my whole glass then crooked my finger at him to come follow me.
The songs blurred together and I did my best to imitate sex while dancing with him. As my lips were glued to Jameson’s, someone tapped on my shoulder. When I turned, I found a cringing Luella motioning to the bar. “Your mom’s here and she’s looking for you.”
Looking through the crowd, I saw my mom perched on a stool with a glass of wine in front of her. I wasn’t surprised to see a guy move over to talk to her only to have her shake her head at his offer. My mom was a knockout sitting there in jeans and a t-shirt, her long black hair flowing down her back. Men flocked to her but were always shut down. I knew my mom saw other men, but she never did around me. She was always discreet. I appreciated that growing up, not having to deal with men coming in and out of our lives. Not that she ever kept anyone for long. I learned to avoid relationships from the queen of anti-relationships.
“Mommy!” I shouted, throwing my arms around her shoulders. My mom laughed and hugged me back.
“Happy birthday, baby.” She patted my back and looked around at the surrounding crowd. “Hello, Luella.” She looked at Lu’s arm wrapped around Jack and smiled. Something flicked across her eyes as she took them in. It looked like sadness, but I’d already had too much to drink and was probably seeing things. “Is this your husband?”
“Hey Mrs. V. And yes, this is my husband, Jack.”
He reached his hand out and gave her his most charming smile. “Nice to meet you. You have one hell of a daughter there.”
Nodding my head and batting my eyes, I told my mom, “He loves me.”
“Yeah, he totally loves all the shit you give him,” Lu joked.
“Luella, are you the one responsible for this birthday party?” my mom asked.
“That would be me,” Jameson spoke up, stepping out from behind me, reaching his hand out to my mother. “Jameson King. I think we’ve met before briefly.”
“Yes. It’s been a few years. You’re Luella’s brother, correct?” My mother shook his hand and smiled warmly. “How sweet of you to take care of Evelyn like this.”
“Well, she’s become a part of our family out here. She’s an amazing woman.” His hand moved to wrap around my waist. My mom watched the move, and her smile shifted, looking more forced.
“Oh.” Her lips pinched and she looked up at me before looking back at his hand resting possessively on my hip. “She is.”
To make matters worse, Jameson leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I have a cake for you. So, stay put while I go get it.” I watched his retreating back before turning back to my mom.
“You two seem friendly. More friendly than the casual dates that I’m used to seeing you with.” Her smile was calm, but I could hear the question in her tone. She had spent my childhood reminding me not to become attached to anyone. To only rely on myself. So, seeing me with Jameson had to be a bit of a shock to her.
It was in that moment that I realized it was a mistake to put off telling my mom. I loved my mom and respected her belief that a man would hinder my success. But I was a grown woman and it wasn’t like I was looking for Jameson; it just happened. Despite knowing I should’ve told her, I still decided that the party wasn’t the place to correct it. We would have the next day to hash it all out and I would fix it then.
I just wanted to enjoy my night and kept my answers vague. “Yeah, we’ve known each other for a long time.” Glancing over at Lu, I begged her to help me out of the situation. She knew what my mom was like.
“Oh, look! Cake!” she exclaimed, seeing Jameson make his way over with a cake.
“Oh my God!” I laughed. He set it down on the bar top before me. “Is that one of my designs?”
“Yup! Took a picture from the website and had the bakery make it for me,” he said, proud of himself for being so creative. It was a Barbie cake, with Barbie standing up and the skirt of the dress was the cake surrounding her. But the pattern of the dress was my own design.
“I love it.” I turned to him, letting him see how much I cared for him all over my face, unable to hide my feelings. “Thank you.” Leaning up on the bar, I moved in, placing a hard kiss on his lips, not caring about our surroundings but remembering to keep it PG. My mom was always accepting of my open sexuality, but that didn’t mean I flaunted it either.
He pulled back and looked over at the DJ manning the sound system and nodded his head. The music cut off and Jameson shouted to the crowd. “Everyone listen up! It’s my girl’s birthday today and I want everyone to join us in singing her Happy Birthday.”
Jameson kicked it off, and I felt my cheeks warming at the attention of the whole bar chiming in. They also heated because I never got tired of Jameson referring to me as his girl. My cheeks cramped from all the smiling I was doing tonight, all because of the giant staring at me with adoration as he sang loudly with everyone else.
Everyone clapped when it was over and the music kicked back on. “Make a wish, baby.”
I closed my eyes and tried to think of what I wanted the most. When I opened them to see Jameson in front of me, my heart swelled in my chest. I wished I would stay that happy forever. I wish my heart would always beat that way when I looked at him. Keeping my eyes on his, I blew out my candle.
“Alright, let’s cut that bad-boy open,” Lu clapped her hands, eyes on the dessert.
I looked over at my mom and saw concern shining in her eyes beneath slightly furrowed brows. I knew she wasn’t mad, she was just worried. My feelings for Jameson must have been obvious to everyone in that bar. I knew she was concerned I wasn’t taking her mantra into consideration.
But I didn’t want to deal with it. So instead I plastered a big smile on my face and leaned in for a hug. “You better dance with me tonight!”
Her pinched lips relaxed into a soft smile. “Evelyn, I’m too old dance.”
“Old shmold! You can probably dance better than ninety percent of the people here tonight.” When she still hesitated, I did an exaggerated shimmy in front of her. “C’mon, Mama! Who do you think I got these moves from? Let’s show ‘em how it’s done!”
Shaking her head, she laughed. She’d had spent years putting up with my antics and pushy ways. She never held me back and always encouraged me when it came to figuring out who I was. Which was probably why she placed her hand in mine and let me lead her to the dance floor. “You are going to be the death of me.”
Twenty-Three
My mom ended up staying for a few more hours, and I did my best to ignore her glances at me and Jameson. She had seen me with guys before, it wasn’t uncommon for me to have one on my arm for a night or two, but even I knew there was no way to deny the way I let Jameson hold me and the way I stared up at him with adoration. I knew I was going to hear about it the next day at the spa.
Jameson took me home in the wee hours of the morning and stripped me bare before tucking me into his bed.
The next morning, I woke up to soft kisses starting at my clavicle and working their way up to my neck. When they reached my ear, he nibbled and whispered, “Happy birthday, beautiful.” Feeling something placed on my chest, my eyes shot open to find a small box in front of me.
Sitting up in bed, I bit my lips to hold back the smile trying to explode across my face. “My birthday was yesterday.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t have time to give you your gift then.”
Looking up, I was hit with his smiling eyes. Those eyes lit a fire inside me. Something that choked my breath and filled my entire body. He was such an amazing man, and every time I looked in his eyes, I wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner. Or maybe it was just Jameson. He made my heart fill to the brim and I found myself holding back tears.
Blinking, I looked down and focused on unwrapping my gift. Lifting the lid, I was greeted with a silver-chained necklace. The charm was two stamped circles. The smaller one was silver and said ‘Genius Works’ and the smaller one was copper and said ‘Talent Creates’. On top of the two charms rested a perfect pearl.
“It’s your birthstone.”
I only nodded as I struggled to hold back my emotions. I wasn’t ready to look up. His large hands came into view and removed the necklace from the box before leaning over me to clip it around my neck. It rested perfectly above my breasts against my skin.
“You’re so damn smart, Evelyn. You run your business all on your own, and you do it better than anyone else ever could.” His finger stroked down the chain and fingered the pearl. “And you are the most talented artist I have ever known. I am awed by you.”
I gripped his hand tightly in mine. I didn’t know what to do. I may as well have been a virgin for as much panic as I felt trying to sort these feelings out. My eyes were welling up, and I was failing at getting the tears under control. I took one last effort to lighten the mood. “That’s because you don’t know any other artists, Jamie-Boy.”
Placing his fingers under my chin, he lifted my head to look at him. His eyes widened when he saw the wetness rimming the edge. Every part of me wanted to jerk away at all the emotion bouncing between us. I was so used to never letting anyone see me as weak. But this was Jameson. So I stared him down and let him see exactly how he affected me, affected my heart. Letting him know that he was inside my heart.
“I know plenty of artists. You’d be surprised the people I come across at the bar. And you, by far, are the most talented, beautiful person I have ever had the privilege to know.” He leaned in, gently pressing his lips to mine. Leaving them there, just slightly touching, he muttered the words I didn’t think I would’ve ever been prepared for. “I love you, Evelyn.”
They whispered across my parted lips and reached into my chest for a response. I love you too, Jameson. It was there – right there – being tugged out to reply. Instead I clamped my lips shut and inhaled deeply through my nose, fighting them back. No matter what the previous years had held, I’d never, never, said those words to anyone other than my mom and Lu.
The time after he said I love you seemed to last forever. I was swirling in a downward spiral of panic while the words choked me. I didn’t know what to do, and part of me seriously considered rolling out of bed and making a run for it. But I wanted to give him something. Just because habit and fear held me back from saying the words, didn’t mean I didn’t feel it roaring through my body. Just because I couldn’t say it, didn’t mean I couldn’t show him.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips to his, forcing all the passion into my kiss. I attacked him, nipped at his lips, pushed my tongue into his mouth, hoping he could taste the words I was holding back. Things felt like they were going to be okay despite my inability to say the words when I felt his strong hands stroke down my body, soothing the panic in me. I rose to my knees and shoved the covers aside, moving to straddle his long legs.
He was sitting up against the headboard, with his legs stretched out in front of him. At some point he must’ve put boxers on and I made it my mission to remove them from him as soon as possible. Rolling my hips over his erection, he thrust up, increasing the friction. I made my way down his chest, flicking my tongue across his nipple, pulling a grunt from him.
Gripping his waistband in my fists, I tugged down as I leaned in to tongue at his navel. He lifted his hips to help me get his boxers off, and b
y the time my mouth had reached his dick, there was nothing holding me back.
My heart, still full of emotion from what he’d said to me, urged me to move faster. To do more. I flicked my tongue across his bulging head and then took him in all the way to the back of my throat.
“Fuuuck.” His hand had pushed into my hair to move it aside so he could watch my lips stretch along his girth. Moving my eyes to stare up at him, I reached under to cup his balls and drew my mouth up. Dropping back down again, I relaxed my throat to take more of him in. “Fuck. Evie.”
His hands tugged at my hair, and I relished the sting that moved through my scalp into my body, hardening my nipples. Closing my eyes, I pushed harder and focused on the task of sucking his dick. I moved fast, rolling my tongue along the ridged base of his head, sucking hard on each pull.
“Fuck. Stop. Stop. This isn’t how I want to come,” he panted above me.
My lips popped off and I flicked the slit on his cock one last time before crawling up his muscular body, letting my breasts sway with each movement of my shoulders. His narrowed eyes took me in as I moved in to bite his chin. The more I took control of the situation, the more my panic eased. Making the choices and being on top came naturally, and I found comfort in the routine.
Straddling his hips, I placed my wet pussy on the ridge of his erection and slid back and forth, letting him feel how wet I was. That close, I wasn’t keen on looking into his eyes, not wanting to be confronted with the love pouring out of them. “I’m going to fuck you,” I whispered into his ear.
His growl vibrated against my breasts mashed against his chest, and it was the only warning I got before Jameson took control. I didn’t know what I expected. It was one of the things I loved about him. He didn’t treat me like he was intimidated by my dominance. He just dominated harder.
His hands dug into my hair and pulled me back, forcing me to consider his narrowed eyes. He searched my eyes, studying my face, looking for what was buried underneath. I wanted to move away, but pride prevented me from dropping his stare. Instead, I let him look and with just his thumb stroking across my cheek, I cracked. My façade of controlling the situation was gone, and I let his midnight blue eyes see inside me. I let him see how scared I was and how much I wanted to say the words, but couldn’t.