The Vampire Destiny 3: Awakening

by Alexandra Anthony

  "Is that another no?" Stefan hadn't moved from his knees.

  "Yes, I mean no. Yes, I'll be with you," I mumbled. I watched as he slid the beautiful ring on my finger. It twinkled, the red rubies gleaming almost as brightly as Stefan's blue eyes as they watched me.

  Without warning, I was surrounded in an instant. His solid arms and a warm wall of muscle pulled me into a rough embrace. His enormous frame swallowed me up, making me feel safe, desired and most importantly, loved.

  "I love you, Stefan." I breathed in his scent, closing my eyes against the tears that threatened to spill over. I hugged him tighter. "I love you because you accept all my flaws, my insecurity and manage to love me anyway. You are the other half that completes me, the best part of me.”

  His arms trembled as they held me. He didn't loosen his hold, yet I could feel the effect of my words. I’d managed to astonish him.

  I knew beyond a doubt this beautiful creature loved me, valued me above anything and everything. And I knew he always would.

  "Min hjärta," his voice was soft in my mind.

  Before I could ask him to translate again, his mental voice spoke again. "It means my heart. It may not beat, yet it is filled with love for you, vackra."

  I dissolved into tears in his arms, soaking his shirt. And he was willing to just hold me and let me have this moment.

  Chapter 5

  I Remember You

  As the dim light of morning peeked around the curtains, the previous night came back into focus. I was alone in bed, Stefan's mind spiraling in the background of my psyche.

  We'd stayed on the rooftop until my eyelids drooped and my brain entered the muddled, foggy half-asleep state where I was only partly aware of my surroundings. I'd felt Stefan lift me in his arms, cradling me tightly against him, yet so gently that he barely jostled me as he carried me down two flights of stairs and into our apartment. The cool softness of the bed greeted me, followed by the warm embrace of his arms as he spooned behind me.

  Rubbing my hand across my eyes, I sat up and slowly swung both legs over the bed. I felt strangely disoriented and light-headed. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath, hoping to settle the oddness I was feeling. As I stood motionless in the middle of the room, I noticed I could hear the sounds of papers ruffling quietly in Stefan's office. Concentrating more intently, I realized I could hear the muffled sound of Lukas's voice in the next apartment. Had the latest infusion of his blood increased my ability or was it simply my body changing yet again?

  I went through my morning routine much slower than usual. My mind sorted through the differences, the subtle changes I'd experienced. My speed had increased; I was not nearly as fast as Stefan, but my new found agility had caught him off guard at least twice. Mentally forming a list, I added the changes: cooler body temperature, my skin becoming firmer and paler. My vision had become sharper and now my hearing had become keener. Add that to my ability to project my shield outward, it was amazing to think of how different I'd become in the matter of weeks.

  With all the strengths I’d gained, I'd suffered a crippling loss: my ability to see the future of humans. It was a double-edged sword. I loathed the ability, blamed it for my inability to maintain normal relationships. It had been an easy scapegoat for me to blame. Now that it was gone, I felt like a piece of myself was missing. I'd used it selfishly when it was convenient for me to have it. Now I silently mourned its sudden disappearance. It had allowed Aidan to catch me unguarded. I'd have to attempt to learn to live without the advantage of predicting human behavior.

  A wry smile reflected back at me in the mirror. How quickly I'd adapted to separating myself from what I'd always considered myself to be. Already I was classifying myself as something different than human.

  More.

  The room came alive when Stefan stealthily entered, our eyes meeting in the mirror. He slouched against the doorframe, his long arms folded across his chest. He was quietly observing me, slipping seamlessly into my mind, an eager witness to my every thoughts and feeling.

  "When you were changed, did you lose your ability?" I asked suddenly. Turning quickly, I glanced upwards to look into his eyes. He hadn't predicted my question and his blue eyes unfocused briefly only to refocus and meet my unblinking stare.

  "No. My ability shifted from reading humans to vampires. You were the only human I had envisioned in over 900 years." His mouth tensed. He shifted slightly so more of his large frame filled the doorway. "I agree with what you think. You are not human, nor are you a vampire. You are something in between. It could be as simple as that."

  Moving to his side, my fingers twirled up the length of his exposed flesh between his wrist and bicep. "Nothing is ever simple with me or with us. It never had and it never will be, Stefan."

  An ancient grin surfaced on his lips. It was wise beyond my years, all-knowing and slightly jaded. It was easy to forget everything he'd seen in his long life, the pain and loss he'd encountered.

  He unfolded his arms and reached to smooth my hair away from my face. His fingertips slid across my cheek, his eyes following the path his fingers had made. "You are right. It is never easy, yet after centuries you look forward to complications. I searched. I persevered and I found you. You are the home where I wanted to be, only complete with you."

  Closing my eyes under his soothing touch, I smiled weakly. "What was my sacrifice? I only waited 28 years to find you. It seems sort of unfair in the grand scheme of things."

  "You were alone for 28 years. You had resigned yourself to spending a solitary existence. You atoned plenty." He placed his calloused hand on my cheek. Leaning into his caress, I sighed in happiness. As we stood together, my mind was filled with strange memories. I saw Stefan in his human form, fighting his final battle, sinking to his knees as his opponent's sword breached his chain mail. His lightly tanned skin paled as he watched his blood darken the hand that clutched his wound. Realizing his mistake, he knew he was facing his death at that exact moment.

  Feeling his pain as if it was my own, I dropped to my knees, clutching my own side in agony. I barely registered Stefan joining me on the bedroom floor, panic exuding from him as he desperately tried to comprehend what was happening. I could hear his faraway voice, calling my name. Unable to answer him or to let him see what I could see, the vision had dragged me in and I was unable to pull away. I had to see it through until the end.

  I was with him on his funeral pyre, listening to his ancient language fall from his beautiful lips in a muffled chant. His blond hair was long, matted with his sweat and tears. His handsome face was streaked with blood and dirt as he cried out into the night sky. His voice was heavily accented and hoarse. Not only could I hear the the pain in his words, I could feel it searing through my entire body. "Let me die. Release me from this suffering."

  And for the first time, I saw Solveig. Statuesque with dark blond hair and blue eyes, she took great pleasure in releasing him from his humanity. His last human vision was of her face as she cradled his head to her, letting him drink from her wrist.

  "I will see you soon, my lover," she whispered to him in the same dialect.

  Flashes of his life rushed through my mind. They were each so vivid that it was like reliving my own memories. I was able to glimpse Stefan as a child, playing at the sea with his siblings. The vision morphed to see him on his first hunting expedition. I witnessed first-hand the quiet beauty of his mother and the imposing strictness of his father.

  I cherished the glimpses of his disarming smile in the sunlight, admiring the human softness of his skin. More than anything, it was his laughter, his freeness that captivated me. He was a carefree young man, his entire life in front of him until that fateful day he met his untimely death. He fought a battle that would immortalize him for me, a life he had never imagined possible.

  How long had it taken him to accept his immortality? To let go of his mortality? A decade? A century? Seeing him through these memories as a human made my own struggle easier. He'd been forced
to change, to adapt to his new existence. He hadn't asked for this life either. Even though I detested Solveig, if not for her intervention, Stefan and I would have never met. She'd saved him for me.

  The memories made a full circle until I watched his immortal life begin and I was strangely pulled from his memories. It was if there was some sort of disconnect and I couldn’t access anything else from his mind at the point of his change to a vampire.

  My eyes popped open. "Did you show me your life? Your memories?"

  He looked at me strangely, narrowing his eyes in confusion. "Vackra, I have told you what little I remember of my human life. I can recall my siblings names… but the memories are hazy at best. As the centuries pass, the faces from your human life grow harder to recall. Why do you ask?"

  "I saw you. The day you died," I recalled, squinting as I struggled to remember every detail. "I watched a sword inflict the fatal blow. I was with you as you lay dying on a funeral pyre. I heard you beg for death."

  Blinking, I attempted to swallow past the knot in my throat. "Then I saw you as a child, then a young man. It was like I was there with you as you aged, up until the moment of your human death. I saw her."

  Stefan was speechless. His eyes went round, his lips parting slightly. His voice was barely perceptible. "Who did you see, vackra?"

  "Solveig. She took great pleasure in killing you."

  "Yes, she found great pleasure in taking human life. She was a decent maker but was extremely sadistic. She was kind to me. Others...she enjoyed to torture. She was slowly going insane, vackra. It is not an excuse, only an explanation."

  He effortlessly leaped to his feet. He offered me both of his hands and pulled me up. "Shower and come to my office. There are things I need to share with you."

  ***

  Still shaken from my experience, I was freshly showered when I entered Stefan's office. It was a masculine space, filled with dark, heavy furniture. The bookshelf was filled with books, ancient looking weaponry lining the dark brown wall. One sword on display reminded me of my vivid memory from his past. I walked to the wall and my fingers hovered over the hilt. It was so tempting to touch it, to hold it in my hand…

  "You do not have to be so hesitant, vackra. Whatever is mine is now yours."

  Startled at the sound of his deep voice, my eyes jolted from the sword to his face, offering him a distracted smile. My fingers absently brushed over the ancient metal. "This sword. This is the one you used the night you died. Your brother spent hours forging the metal to create this for you. You were proud to carry it."

  Facing him, I noticed that his hands were gripping the arms of the chair. His eyes became stormy, luminous in the light from the windows. They were filled with an emotion I couldn't understand as he stared past me and focused on the weapons.

  And his mind...his mind was a jumble of hazy memories and undisguised admiration. I'd staggered him again, rocked him to his very core. He didn't want to remember his human life, yet I kept dredging it up, memory after painful memory.

  "It is difficult to recall, however I do recall it being a gift from Ragnarr," he murmured. His eyes never left the sword. "How is it possible that you know what I cannot remember?"

  I was just as confused as Stefan. The memories seemed to appear in my mind with no coercion. "I don't know, Stefan."

  He extended a shaky hand to me, his anxious mind silently pleading for me to come to him. He was unsettled, shaken and he needed our physical connection. Crossing the room, I sank into his lap. His hand stroked up and down my back as I nestled against him. He buried his nose in my hair, breathing in deep, ragged breaths. I felt his mood start to calm, his mind becoming less frantic as he methodically stroked my skin.

  As his panic lessened, his cheek came to rest against the top of my head. Rubbing circles over his heart, the sun from the window made tiny prisms from my ring dance across his chest.

  "We have another matter to address," Stefan murmured against my ear.

  As he’d been calming himself, I'd been slowly relaxing, enjoying the comfort of his touch. Even the caress of his hand was unleashing a warmth that was spreading through me. I was considering throwing him on the desk so I could straddle him to prevent him from talking. "Ugh," I groaned, frowning. "Will it involve conversation?"

  I began nipping along his throat and he tipped his head back in allowance of my tender bites. He curled his lip back in a beautiful smirk, the worry vanishing from his handsome face.

  "Obviously."

  "Then no," I denied matter-of-factly, stretching to peck the cleft in his chin. "No deal."

  "It is important," he gently scolded and leaned into my mouth, enjoying my little bites and licks.

  "This is more important. We've talked enough," I countered. I alternated between kissing and nibbling across his stumbled jaw line, dragging my teeth over it lovingly.

  "You will be the death of me," he begrudgingly replied. He hugged me closer, our bodies molding together.

  "Never," I retorted, kissing the corner of his mouth. "I won't allow it."

  "You enthrall me. Completely captivate me." He caught my face in his massive hands and dragged me out of his throat. Back in control, he swooped in and launched his own offense, kissing and biting my lips in return.

  Melting against him, I relaxed my lips against his willing mouth, enjoying the gentle persistence of his kiss. Much too soon for my liking he drew away.

  "I am serious. We need to talk," Stefan whispered. I could tell by his tone he was resigned to tell me what he felt I needed to know.

  Dread washed over me. Stefan never passed an opportunity to fool around to talk. "It must be important. What's going on?"

  "There is a journal."

  "A journal?" I repeated, confused. "What are you talking about?"

  He released me from his embrace, standing and motioning for me to sit in his vacated desk chair. I sat and watched as he leaned against the edge of the desk, his long, muscular arms crossing under his chest. His blue eyes turned into icy glaciers, his lips set in a thin line.

  "Nigel was able to obtain this text from the archives." He grabbed a leather bound book from the book shelf. The pages were yellowed and appeared brittle even closed. He strummed his fingers against the front of the cover. "Again, he put his life at risk for you. You bring that instinct out in many of our kind."

  Wide-eyed, I looked between Stefan and the book. "Have you read it? Do I want to know what's inside?"

  "Most of it. You and your brother may be the only two of your kind left. At least that are documented," Stefan said hesitantly. He raised a blond eyebrow and drew in an unnecessary breath.

  "The only two left? Are you implying there were others like us?" I’d never given any thought that I might have other siblings besides Nikolaus. Stefan’s explanation sounded ominous.

  "This text documents possible siblings you may have had. It was long before your father met Armes, dating back as early as the 1800's. He had many other offspring. They did not fare well."

  "What are you saying, Stefan?"

  He leveled his steely stare at me, his eyes unwavering. "From my understanding of his writing, he was attempting to create a super breed of hybrids. When they lacked any special talent, they were used for experimentation purposes."

  My stomach heaved. I broke out into a cold sweat, my vision going cloudy. Light pricked behind my eyelids as I listened to his words, letting them slowly sink into my disbelieving mind.

  "There's more, isn't there? Tell me everything."

  He crouched down in front of me. His strong hands gripped my thighs and he gave them a reassuring squeeze. "He wanted to see what kind of torture they could withstand. According to his note taking, it was impressive."

  Struggling to breathe, I concentrated on attempting to comprehend his words. My mouth didn't want to cooperate with my brain. "But they were killed?"

  He nodded sadly, glancing down at the old book. "Yes."

  "He spared Nikolaus and me. Why?"

>   His eyes closed for the briefest of moments before opening to drown me in contemplative blue. His emotions spiked at my question and his thoughts turned deadly. "I can only assume, vackra. Perhaps your talent spared you."

  "I was only a baby. How could he have known?" I queried, sitting up straighter in the chair. "What happened to the other women he impregnated?"

  "They were killed after giving birth. They no longer served a viable purpose so they were disposed of."

  Good god. I’d thought Kian was twisted before, but he always managed to take being evil to a whole new level. He continued to make me despise him more with each passing day.

  "How many?" I was barely able to strangle the words out.

  Solemnly, his fingertips traced the curve of my cheek. "How many of what, vackra?"

  "Women...children. Both?" I needed to know the truth, even though I knew I wouldn't like it.

  "Between 30-40 women and children. Kian was vague with his record keeping in the beginning. After the 1820's his journaling improved vastly."

  Neither of us spoke. Not only was my mind trying to process the information Stefan had provided me with, and I was struggling to keep my anger at bay. My eyes slid closed, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths. Feeling marginally stronger, I opened my eyes.

  "Is this the worst of what's inside of it?" I bored holes in the worn book. I wanted to rip it apart, page by page. That wouldn't accomplish anything except destroy evidence of his misdeeds.

  This might be the very evidence we might need down the road.

  "No. He was quite detailed with his descriptions," Stefan advised. He pushed the journal away. "I had each page copied. I must return this to Nigel before it is missed."

  His long hands massaged my thighs, his blue eyes searching my face. I could sense his concern for me in the magical blood that coursed through me, his influence making us almost one entity. We shared everything: body, soul, heart and blood.

  Sliding off the chair, I fell into his waiting arms. He'd anticipated my need for him and his long, strong arms snaked around me, pulling me against his chest as we sat on the floor in his office. His hand stroked through my hair, a deep, calming hum rumbling in his chest. It was soothing, comforting me to the point where I'd almost slipped into a meditative state. I let myself sink into it, knowing Stefan would be there to hold me yet again.