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Shahryar

Page 10

by Rakhshanda Jalil


  The kiss on the lamp’s flame is the wind’s

  As is the bouquet of scratch marks

  Gouged from my neck to my chest

  Waiting for the magical lock to open

  I have spent countless seasons of separation

  After years

  The wind has lowered its feet in the water

  Be born from my ribs

  Carrying the same scent of wheat

  The vastness of earth and sky have gathered unto me

  Bathe me in divine, ineffable pleasure

  I am a thirsty ocean

  Come in the boat of your body

  And row across me)

  And this soaring expectancy:

  Mera To Iraada Tha

  Mera to iraada tha

  Honth seerhiyon se main

  Aasman tak jaoon

  Tu ne is jagah mujh ko

  Itni der tak roka

  Yeh bhi bhool baitha main

  Mera kya iraada tha

  Is wujood-e khaki mein

  Jism kuchh ziyaada tha

  I Had Planned

  (I had planned

  To climb the skies

  On the ladder of your lips

  But you made me tarry here

  So long that

  I forgot

  What I had planned

  In this mortal reality

  The body became a bit too much)

  As also this yearning:

  Yeh Raat

  Yeh bistar-e tanhai

  Ji mein hai lapetoon main

  Aie raat! wajood apna

  Keh de to sametoon main

  Us aadhey badanwali

  Parchhai ko dikhla de

  Main aag mein jalta hoon

  Tu os mein nehla de

  This Night

  (How I wish I could

  Wrap myself in the solitude of the bed

  Night! If you let me

  I will gather myself into you

  Show me that half-bodied shadow

  I burn in a fire

  Bathe me in dew)

  And a most unusual take on the fatigue that comes in the wake of bodily pleasure:

  Wamandagi-e Shauq

  Kharhi raho

  Isi jagah issi tarah kharhi raho

  Safed barf ki chattaan qatra-qatra gal rahi hai

  Galney do

  Siyah aur taveel raat dheerey-dheerey dhal rahi hai

  Dhalney do

  Meri nigah ke hisaar mein yuhin kharhi raho

  Main tumse aur duur ho raha hoon, mujhse mat daro

  In ungliyon pe os ke nishaan thay jo mit gaye

  Labon pe ek ajnabi ka naam tha jo bujh gaya

  Hiran ki aanth khauf ki chamak se bhi tahi huyi

  Darindey jungalon ko chhorh kar kahin chaley gaye

  Kharhi raho

  Isi jagah issi tarah kharhi raho

  The Fatigue of Love

  (Stay

  Stand right there

  Drop by drop

  The white cliff of ice is melting

  Let it melt

  The dark and long night is waning

  Let it wane

  Stand there

  In the circle of my sight

  I am going far away from you

  Don’t be scared of me

  These fingers carried the stain of dew

  That is rubbed off now

  These lips bore the name of a stranger

  That is snuffed out now

  The deer’s eye is empty of the flare of fear

  The beasts have left the forest and gone away somewhere

  Stay

  Stand right there)

  And the somewhat darker, shorter ones from Shaam Hone Wali Hai, that hint at the dark underbelly of bodily desire:

  Badan Paataal

  Hawas aakaash se neechey bhi utro

  Badan paataal mein ta-dair thehro

  Main apne aap ko ji bhar ke dekhoon

  Abyss Body

  (Come down from the skies of lust

  Linger in the abyss of the body for a long time

  So I may look at myself to my heart’s content)

  And:

  Tujhe Kuchh Yaad Aata Hai

  Main terey jism tak kin raaston se

  Ho ke pahuncha tha

  Zameen awaaz aur gandum ke khoshon ki mehak main

  Saath laya tha

  Tujhe kuchh yaad aata hai

  Do You Remember Any of It

  (The routes I had taken

  To reach your body

  Bringing with me

  Earth voice and the scent of sheaves of wheat

  Do you remember any of it?)

  To conclude, let us remember that love, be it romantic or bodily, is for the most part unattainable, as hard to find as a restful, dream-filled night’s sleep.

  SECTION II

  A Selection of Poems

  Mere liye raat ne

  Aaj faraham kiya

  Ek naya marhala

  Neendon se khaali kiya

  Ashkon se phir bhar diya

  Kaasa meri aankh ka

  Aur kaha kaan mein:

  ‘Maine har ik jurm se

  Tumko bari kar diya

  Maine sada ke liye

  Tumko riha kar diya

  ‘Jaao jidhar chaho tum

  Jaago ki so jaao tum

  Khwaab ka dar band hai’

  Tonight the night presented me

  With a new dilemma

  It emptied the basin of my eye

  Of all sleep

  And filled it with tears

  Then it whispered in my ear:

  ‘I have absolved you of all sin

  And set you free, forever

  ‘Go wherever you wish

  Sleep, or stay awake

  The doorway of dreams is closed for you’

  Shankh Bajaane ki Gharhi

  Aankh mandir ke kalas par rakho

  Shankh bajane ki gharhi aati hai

  Devdasi ke qadam ruk-ruk kar

  Aage badhte hain

  Zameen ke neeche

  Gaai ko seeng badalne ki barhi jaldi hai

  Bulhawis aankhon ne phir jaal buna

  Raal tapkaati zubaan phir huwi masruf-e safar

  Jism ke khurdure kuchh narm ilaqon ka safar

  Sadhna bhang na ho abke bhi

  Zor se cheekh ke ishlok

  Pujari ne padhey

  Aankh mandir ke kalas par rakho

  The Moment for the Blowing of Conches

  Keep your eyes on the temple spire

  The moment for the blowing of conches approaches

  The temple dancer’s feet halt

  Then move again

  Beneath the ground

  The cow is in a hurry to change its horn

  Lustful eyes have once again woven a web

  The salivating tongue is once again engrossed in

  its journey

  Across the soft, sometimes coarse, terrain of the body

  Lest the concentration snaps once again

  The priest chants the verses

  With a loud scream

  Keep your eyes on the temple spire

  Main Nahin Jaagta…

  Main nahin jaagta, tum jaago

  Siyah raat ki zulf itni uljhi hai ke suljha nahin sakta

  Baraha kar chuka hoon koshish main to

  Tum bhi apni si karo

  Is tago-daw ke liye khwaab mere haazir hai

  Neend in khwaabon ke darwazon se laut jaati hai

  Suno, jaagne ke liye inka hona

  Sahal kar dega bahut kuchh tum par

  Aasma-reg mein kaaghaz ki naao

  Ruk gayi hai isey harkat mein laao

  Aur kya karna hai tum jaante ho

  Main nahin jaagta, tum jaago

  Siyah raat ki zulf

  Itni uljhi hai ke suljha nahin sakta koi

  I Won’t Lie Awake

  I won’t lie awake, you do

  Night’s dark tresses are so tangled

  I can’t untangle them

&nbs
p; I have tried, time and again

  Now, you do

  I will give you my dreams

  To help you in your endeavours

  Sleep has turned away from the doorway of these dreams

  Listen, these dreams will make it easy

  For you to stay awake

  The paper boat has stopped in the sands of the skies

  Row it, make it move

  You know what you have to do

  I won’t lie awake, you do

  Night’s dark tresses are so tangled

  No one can untangle them

  Ek Kaali Nazm

  Main kore kaghaz par likhoon phir kali nazm

  Alakh jagate sannaton se phir se sajaoon bazm

  Gaddar amrudon ki khushboo pagal kar jaye

  Meri in khali aankhon ko jal-thal kar jaye

  Door darindon ki awazein khud se larhti hon

  Mere uske beech mein kaali raatein parhti hon

  Shiknon se aari ek bistar mujh ko takta ho

  Jism mera aadha sota aadha jagta ho

  Tab main karoon yeh azm

  Ke likhoon koi kaali nazm

  A Black Poem

  Let me write a black poem on virgin paper

  Let me light this banquet with unseen, formless silences

  The smell of unripe guavas maddens me

  It makes my empty eyes brim with wetness

  Far away wild animals growl at each other

  Between us, lie endless nights

  An uncreased bed stares at me

  My body half sleeps, half wakes

  And I resolve

  To write a black poem

  Zindagi ki Khwahish

  Abhi botalon ke badan mein thi

  Abhi ek glass ki tah mein thi

  Abhi qatra-qatra laraz rahi thi

  Labon ki zard mundeir par

  Abhi halaq mein, abhi dil mein thi

  Abhi haan, abhi-abhi, bas abhi

  Kisi reghzaar mein kho gayi

  The Desire for Life

  In the bottle’s body a moment ago

  Now at the bottom of the glass

  Now trembling drop by drop

  At the pale parapet of the lips

  Now sliding down the throat

  Now inside the heart

  Now, yes, just now

  It disappeared in some desert

  Ek Aur Peshangoi

  Phir ghane pedon se udenge tayur

  Phir bajayenge taaliyan patte

  Taheniyan phir ladeingi aapas mein

  Konpalon ke shaheed jismon ko

  Muntashir phir karegi mauj-e hawa

  Another Prophecy

  Once again birds will fly from dense trees

  Once again leaves will clap

  Branches will beat against each other

  Gusts of wind will once again scatter

  The martyred bodies of young leaves

  Kuchh Bolne Do

  Kholne do

  Khushboo ke dariche kholne do

  Tolne do

  Is tayar-e-jaan ko duur des ke lambe safar par jaane do

  Par tolne do

  Bolne do

  Is jism ki qaid mein surkh lahoo ko bolne do

  In sabz sunehre pardon ke us simt

  Bada sannata hai

  Mat toko mujhe, mat roko mujhe

  Kuchh bolne do

  Let Me Speak

  Let me open

  Let me open the window of fragrances

  Let it fly

  Let this bird-like soul fly far, far away

  Let it speak

  Let the red blood imprisoned in this body speak

  Behind the gold-and-green curtain

  Lies an impenetrable silence

  Don’t hush me, don’t stop me

  Let me speak

  Kya Tumhe Yaad Hai

  Kya tumhe yaad hai

  Tumne raat ke haath par qasam khaai thi

  Ke subah ke suraj ki talwar ki chamak

  Aur kaat se

  Tum khauf zada nahin hogey

  Aur apni aankhon mein

  Tumne khwaabon ke jo khazane chhupa kar rakhey hain

  Unhein kisi aise aadmi ko

  Ba-taur tohfa de dogey

  Jo tum se zyaada

  Bulund hausla, nidar aur jari ho

  Toh ab kya sochtey ho

  Do You Remember?

  Do you remember

  You had sworn

  Placing your hand on the night’s palm

  That the glitter and keen of

  The sword of the morning sun

  Would no longer frighten you

  And you would give away

  The dream treasures

  Hidden in your eyes

  As gifts

  To someone

  Braver and stronger

  Than you

  So, what stops you now?

  Humein Zameen Poochhti Hai

  Humein zameen poochhti hai

  Koi keh raha tha

  Kaun keh raha tha

  Titliyon ko dhoop ke azaab se

  Bachanewale haath phir jhulas gaye

  Badi ki fasl ke liye

  Bahut sa khoon chahiye

  Badan tatol kar zara bataiye

  Kahan se fasd kholni hai

  Kitni der ka sukoot shart hai

  Chalo yeh mashk bhi karein

  Sunein yeh ghaur se sunein

  Humein zameen poochhti hai

  Log keh rahe hain yeh

  The Earth Asks Us

  The earth asks us

  Someone was saying

  Who was it?

  Hands that would have saved the butterflies

  From the terrible heat of the sun

  Have been singed again

  The harvest of evil

  Demands a lot of blood

  Touch your body and see

  Which festering wound needs to be lanced

  How long must we preserve this silence

  Come, let’s practise this

  Listen, listen carefully to this

  The earth asks us

  That’s what people say

  Badan ke Bund

  Main hisaar-e arzu mein mutmain tha

  Tumne yaad aa ke

  Badan ke bund khole

  Aao main tum par hawis asraar kholoon

  Lab-tarazu mein tumhe taa-deir toloon

  Aakhri siski talak main chup rahoon aur kuchh na boloon

  Bus isi eik kaam mein mashhaq hoon main

  The Clasps of the Body

  I was content in the circle of desires

  By your remembrance

  You made me open the clasps of the body

  Come, let me reveal the secrets of the senses

  Weigh you for hours in the balance of the lips

  To remain silent till the last whimper

  And say nothing

  That, now, is my sole preoccupation

  Is Deewar ko Girtey…

  Is deewar ko girtey-girtey

  Jaaney kitni der lagey, main aankhein

  Band kiye leta hoon apni

  Mere honthon par barish ho

  Tez musladhaar

  Chattanein apni-apni jagah se sirkein

  Main jazbaat mein behte-behte ruk jaoon

  Beech nadi mein kashti phir hichkole khaaye

  Duur kinare par do aankhein

  Meri raah takein, khamoshi

  Ik lambi sargoshi bann ke

  Saari simton par chha jaye

  Bheege bistar ki shiknon se

  Khushboo ki laptein-si uththein

  Meri aankhein uske aage

  Kyun kuchh dekhein?

  Is deewar ko girtey-girtey

  Jitni der lagey, achcha hai

  The Crumbling Wall

  Who knows how long it will take

  For the wall to crumble

  I shall close my eyes

  Strong and gusty

  The rain will lash upon my lips

  Let rocks shift from their places

  I shall stop myself

  From being
swept away in a flood of emotions

  Once again

  The boat will wobble midstream

  Far away on the bank

  Two eyes wait for me

  Like a long whisper

  Silence spreads in every direction

  From the creases on the damp bed

  Fragrance rises like flames

  Why should my eyes see

  Anything beyond this?

  The longer it takes

  For the wall to crumble

  The better

  Hairaan Karne Wali Eik Baat

  Doobti shaam ke us paar

  Khadhe thay jo log

  Humne in aakhon se dekha hai

  Ke un logon ki

  Mutthiyan band thi

  Yeh reit kahan se aayi?

  A Bewildering Thing

  Across the descending gloam

  Stood some people

  I saw with my own eyes

  That their fists

  Were clenched tight

  Where, then,

  Did this sand come from?

  Eik Siyaasi Nazm

  Magar be-zaiqa honthon se

  Tumne sakht chattanon ko chooma tha

  Woh unki khurdarahat noke nikli chhatiyan

  Tezaabiyat namkeen kaai

  Sab ki lazzat se rahe na-aashna bachche tumhare

  Isi baeis to unke jism mein khoon ki jagah paani ki gardish hai

  Isi baeis woh apni nafraton ke khud hadaf hain

  Aur dushman un pe hanste hain

  A Political Poem

  With savourless lips

  You had kissed

  The hard rocks

  But your children remained unfamiliar

  With the taste of their rough, pointed breasts

  And the acidic, somewhat salty algae

  And that is why water courses through their bodies

  Instead of blood

  And that is why they are victims of their own hatreds

  And the enemy laughs at them

  Ek Main Bhi Hoon

  Patjhadon ke aaney se

  Aur kuchh toh kya hoga

  In ghaney darakhton ke

  Saaye ke taley baithey

  Log uth khadey hongey

  Lambi dooriyon waley

  Ajnabi safar jinko

  Yeh bhula chukey hongey

  Unko yaad aayengey

  Lazzat-e safar unko

  Kab yeh sochne degi

  Patjhadon ke aane tak

  In ghaney darakhton ne

  Dhoop ki tamazat se

  Kitni kya hifazat ki

  Patjhadon ke aane ka

 

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