River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel Book 2)

by Heather Mar-Gerrison

  He blinked, “Oh? What?”

  “I choose you, River,” I said quietly, “I want to be with you.”

  He stared at me for a good minute before a massive smile broke out over his face, “Seriously?” he asked, “You mean it? You really want to be my boyfriend?”

  I nodded, biting my lip. I’d lain there for ages after he’d dropped off, worrying about the pros and cons of being with him. In the end it really was just down to the way he made me feel. I was in love with him and nothing else really mattered...

  Chapter 48 – Finally mine...

  River

  Oh. My God! He’d chosen me! If I’d have been stood up, I’d have done a happy little dance – but I wasn’t, so...

  He still hadn’t told Jake but that was okay. I knew it would take a little time because Jake was away so much. He didn’t want to tell him with me. He was going to say he couldn’t handle the distance and let him down gently instead. Fair enough... It seemed a little bit like the coward’s way out but to be honest, I didn’t need the drama of confessing that I’d been cheating on him either...

  My phone buzzed in my pocket as I got changed out of my uniform from the restaurant. I was just about to hit the shower to get ready for my night shift at the club. I frowned. It was Rob. What the hell did he want – I’d be seeing him in an hour or so. “Hey Rob.”

  “River,” he said, “Got a minute?”

  “Sure.” I said happily. I had all the time in the world. Jodie was my boyfriend. I was going to be able to proudly walk down the street with him. Turn up for work with him – walk into the club hand-in-hand with him. He was mine. Mine!

  “Here’s the deal.” Rob said, “There were a couple of scouts in at the weekend. They saw you dancing and the show you and the boys put on – and they want you to join their dance troupe for a UK tour. It might even be rolled out to the US if it’s successful – the pay is phenomenal, mate – how do you fancy it?”

  “Oh, wow,” I breathed, looking at Jodie with shining eyes. We could go together. We’d have all day every day to do as we liked and then a couple of hours dancing....

  Jodie looked back at me with a questioning look, “I’ll let you know tomorrow, mate – I’ll have to square it with Luca anyway before I can make a definite decision.”

  “Sure, sure.” He said, “No pressure – just let me know – I’d prefer you to stay – you know that.”

  I ended the call and stared at Jodie, “I’ve been offered the chance to go all over the country, dancing with a crew of others...”

  His face fell and my heart stuttered. He wasn’t exactly on board with it... “Oh...”

  “We could go together, babe.” I said excitedly, “We’d see loads of new places...” I trailed off. He was definitely looking more worried than excited. Uh-oh... He really wasn’t on board with this, was he?

  “I guess...”

  I gathered him into my arms and gave him a slow, loving kiss, “We can talk about it later.” I said, “And I don’t have to go – I just thought it could be a lot of fun...”

  He nodded, “Sure.” He said, “We’ll talk about it later...”

  I went to work with a sense of foreboding. Something told me that when I got back, we’d be talking – but not necessarily making plans for our future together...

  Chapter 49 – Wrong decision...

  Jodie

  Oh God. I couldn’t handle this. Going around the country? Dancing provocatively and inviting kisses and all sorts of other inappropriate advances from thousands of new guys he’d never met? No. That sort of a boyfriend wasn’t for me. I’d made the wrong decision...

  It was torturous waiting for him to get home. He looked a little tired and a little stressed as he pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and flopped down in it. “I’m absolutely knackered,” he said, “Shall we crack open that bottle of wine and have a glass?”

  I swallowed hard. I was about to break him... “I’m so sorry, River. I can’t do this.”

  He looked at me with his beautiful, big, sorrowful eyes and shook his head. Finally he spoke. His voice wavered. “I knew you were going to say that.” He whispered.

  I blinked. “You knew? How?”

  He shrugged, “I get it you know – that I’m cute and everything but I’m not a keeper,” His voice cracked a little, “I knew it was too good to be true that you’d want to be with me long term.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands hurriedly.

  I frowned, “It’s not that...”

  He nodded, “It is that.” He insisted, “And it’s okay – really.” His eyes were full of unshed tears again but he was doing his best to hold it all together. “I’ve had the time of my life with you – for the first time in my life I’ve actually felt loved – really loved – like I actually matter.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He was so close to breaking down completely.

  My eyes filled with tears, “You do matter, River – so much. I really do love you.”

  He nodded, “I love you too,” he said, “So much – but I know that you love Jake too – and breaking up with him will be too painful. You probably belong with him. He’s not flaky like me – he’s the one you need.”

  Yeah. I used to think so too but he wasn’t the one I loved... I loved River. I was just terrified that he’d find someone else out on the road... either one of the other dancers – or a punter. The sad fact was that I just didn’t trust him enough. I was scared that he’d cheat on me – because I knew how easy it was. I’d never thought I would do such a thing – but I’d cheated on Jake and call me a total hypocrite, I was scared of the same thing happening to me...

  He wiped his eyes and sniffed, “Would you just do something for me – one last thing?”

  I smiled, “Name it.” I said.

  He smiled shyly at me, looking totally embarrassed, “Come out for dinner with me?”

  I nodded eagerly, “I would love to come out for dinner with you.”

  *

  River smiled as he looked at me across the table, he’d spoken to Peyton and Peyton had agreed for us to have a table reservation straight after our shift.

  Jake would be home tonight, but we’d said that our shift had been put back a couple of hours so he didn’t suspect anything – and then River was going to go on the road with the dance troupe the following week. He’d been really lucky and had been offered the last place. “I was actually going to save this place for our first anniversary or something.” He said as he looked around with a sad little smile.

  My heart twisted in my chest. I was trying my best not to cry, “Or something sounds interesting.” I said with a smile.

  He grinned back at me, “I was going to propose to you here.”

  I gaped at him, “River,” I whispered, “Stop. Please.”

  He shook his head, “I can’t help it.” He said, tears running down his face, “I had our whole life together planned out in my head.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes, “I guess I’m just not destined for the happy ever after – that’s for you to have with Jake – that’s the right way.” He nodded, “Just promise me that you’ll be happy with him – you’ve chosen him over me. Make sure it was the right decision.”

  I nodded. Oh... Fuck. I knew in that instant that I’d made the wrong decision...

  River

  The meal was as amazing as it looked when we were serving it to everyone else.

  It was a fitting end to the most amazing love affair I’d ever have in my whole life. Nothing could top what I’d had with Jodie. Nothing. I never wanted a relationship again. I’d loved. Truly, madly and deeply loved him. And I’d lost...

  “Come on, beautiful.” I said, “let’s get you back home to your future husband.”

  He nodded and we walked out into the car park.

  Jodie stopped and put his hands on my shoulders, “I meant every word I ever said to you.” He said, “I really loved you.”

  I nodded, “I know.” I leaned in and kissed him. He wrapped
his arms around my back and pulled me in to deepen the kiss.

  Oh. God. How the hell was I supposed to live my life without him? This was utter madness. Going on the road was going to fucking kill me...

  Our kiss was disrupted by the most terrifying sound ever...

  “River? Jodie? Oh, God – what the fuck is going on here?”

  *

  Jake, it would appear, had come to meet Jodie from work. His car was parked at an angle next to mine and his door was still wide open where he’d got out in a hurry. He’d seen everything... and now he was staring at me as if I was something on the underside of his shoe – and believe you me – I felt as though he was absolutely, one hundred per cent in the right…

  “J-Jake,” I stammered, “It isn’t what it looks like.” Shit. It was exactly what it looked like – two lovers distraught at being separated for the greater good…

  Jodie, bless him, stood up to him, “It is what it looks like – we’ve been seeing each other – but we were just saying goodbye – I promise.”

  Jake completely ignored Jodie and continued to glare at me as if it was entirely my fault. And it was. All my fault – I’d made him a promise and I’d failed miserably… “You promised me…” he growled.

  I nodded, “I’m so sorry…”

  “Why?” Jake asked, his voice cracking, “Why would you do this to me?”

  I gazed at him, willing him to understand that I hadn’t gone into this lightly, that I was totally and utterly in love with Jodie, “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t want to… It just happened – we really tried to fight it… but we couldn’t do it. What we feel for each other… I really love him, Jake – I’ve never felt this way about anyone before…”

  Jake gasped with pain when I said I loved his boyfriend. I never got to finish my sentence, though because the first blow took me completely by surprise and knocked the wind out of me. Jake was twice the size I was – pretty cool when he was defending me. When he was attacking me – pretty damned lethal.

  “Stop!” Jodie yelled, “Jake, please – stop it!”

  But Jake was distraught at being betrayed and he was angry – and he was channelling all of that anger at me. I understood. I had to be punished and I wasn’t about to argue about it. I deserved everything he wanted to level at me. I’d betrayed my best friend with his boyfriend… I was the scum that everyone had always thought I was. A man-whore. And in Jake’s eyes I’d treated the person he loved more than anything else in the world just the same way as I treated all of the others. He had no idea that this time everything was different.

  “He’s not one of your fucking punters!” he yelled as he rained punches down on me, “He’s not someone to be fucked and forgotten about the next day – he’s too fucking special for that shit – he’s the man I fucking love, River!”

  I nodded weakly, dazed with the number of blows I’d taken, “I know that,” I managed to sputter through my bust lip, “And I’m really sorry – but I love him too, Jake.”

  He let out a feral snarl at my words, “I fucking put my trust in you – what a fucking idiot I was. I thought you were my friend – but you’re not. You don’t love anyone but yourself, you little shit.” His last punch put me on the ground and then Jodie screamed and everything went black.

  Chapter 50 – Deadly weakness...

  Jodie

  I’d never seen Jake so mad in all the time I’d known him. He was like a different person and I’d done that to him with my weakness and my stupidity.

  I couldn’t have River – I’d accepted that. River had accepted that and was going on the road with the other Studs and Steel dancers and I was going to make things work with Jake. I did love Jake – but I loved River too and it was breaking my heart to let him go…

  As River hit the ground it seemed to break Jake out of his rage. He stared at his best friend’s lifeless body on the floor next to his car, “Oh, fuck.” He cried, dropping to his knees, “What have I done?”

  I scrambled to his side, “Is he breathing?”

  Jake was feeling his neck, “I don’t know,” he said, the panic in his voice apparent, “I don’t think so.”

  I pushed Jake away and put my ear close to his mouth. He was breathing – faintly. “Call a fucking ambulance.” I snarled, “And then you’d better get the fuck out of here – I’ll say we were set upon by some homophobic thugs or something...”

  Jake dialled 999 with shaking fingers and then gave them the address of the restaurant and then he scrambled into his car and left.

  I cradled River in my arms as I waited. It seemed like forever.

  “What happened?” the first paramedic asked as he started to check River over.

  “There were three guys – they were all a lot bigger than us – I guess they decided that we were a little too pretty.”

  He shook his head, “What is wrong with people?” he muttered, “Poor kid.”

  I nodded, “It’s not the first time this has happened to him either.” I said, “Please tell me – is he going to be alright?”

  He shrugged, “I hope so, son.” He said, “But we’ll know more when we get him to the hospital. “Did you sustain any injuries?”

  I shook my head, “I think they must have recognised River – he’s a dancer at the nightclub up the road you see…”

  He nodded, “There are some bad people out there.”

  Yeah. There were – and one of them was my boyfriend…

  I climbed into the ambulance with River and held his hand. I had no idea if he knew he wasn’t alone; if he could feel me at all but it definitely made me feel better to have the connection.

  They wheeled him into the assessment area and then almost immediately took him to theatre. I waited around nervously for news.

  After a couple of hours, Jake walked in. I went to meet him, “Is he okay?” he asked, his face streaked with tears.

  I shook my head, “He’s in surgery – he has a bleeding in the brain or something. The doctor called it something but I wasn’t really taking much in. He said he’d let me know as soon as he was in recovery.”

  Jake’s legs about gave out on him, “Oh, my God.” He said, his voice shaking, “I did that to him – my best friend. My brother…”

  I nodded, “We did that to him – all three of us. If River and I hadn’t have been sneaking around behind your back, none of this would have happened.”

  Jake nodded. “You love him?” he said. It wasn’t really said like a question. It was more a statement.

  I nodded. “Yes.” I said quietly.

  He nodded, “And he loves you.”

  I shrugged, not really wanting to make things worse than they already were between us, “I guess.”

  Jake frowned, “No.” he said, “Don’t pretend to spare my feelings. He said he loved you. That means he loves you – probably more than life itself. This is River we’re talking about – he doesn’t give out his love freely. His body – yes; his heart – no.”

  I looked Jake in the eye, “Yes. He loves me – but he loves you too and he couldn’t live with himself anymore when I wouldn’t make a decision between the two of you. So he stopped it. He was going to leave – he was going on tour and he wasn’t planning on returning.”

  Jake’s jaw dropped, “Without telling me?” he said with a bit of a whine in his voice.

  I smiled, “Uh-huh.” I said, “He wanted us to live happily ever after without him being the cuckoo in the nest, screwing things up – his words, not mine.”

  Jake shook his head, “It’s me who’s the cuckoo in this scenario.” He said sadly, “And I’ve got some news of my own.”

  I cocked an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? What’s that then?” I asked.

  He grimaced, “I’ve been offered a promotion – and I’d really like to go for it – but it’s in London – I’m gonna have to move – I was going to tell you earlier.”

  I nodded. I knew he’d have to leave at some point and six months ago I’d have happily followed him to the e
nds of the earth, but now…

  He smiled sadly, “I’m guessing you won’t be coming with me.”

  I shook my head, “I’m sorry, Jake.”

  He shrugged, “Don’t be.” He said, “I’ve come to realise that this would never have happened if I’d been around more – if I’d have valued you more – River values you more than I ever have, I think,” he said dolefully.

  I nodded slowly, “I think maybe you could be right – he’s not slept with anyone else since we met.”

  We were interrupted by the doctor who had attended to River when I arrived with him. I jumped to my feet, “Is he okay?”

  The doctor smiled, “He’s sore and bruised but essentially yes, he’s going to make a full recovery – would you like to see him?”

  I nodded, “Oh, my God – yes.”

  The doctor looked at Jake who was stood beside me, looking pensive.

  I introduced him as River’s brother and he squeezed my hand in thanks.

  The doctor showed us through to River’s room. I went over to him and kissed his forehead – the only bit that wasn’t covered in bruises or bandages. “Hey you.” I said softly, “You scared me half to death back there.”

  He smiled weakly, “They had to shave my hair off dude.” He said with a bit of a whine to his voice.

  I grinned, “It’ll just make you look all the more sexy. Uh, Jake’s here – he’s got something he needs to say.”

  Jake walked over slowly, “I am so sorry, River.” He said, “How can you ever forgive me.”

  River blinked, “There’s nothing to forgive,” he croaked, “– I stole your boyfriend.”

  Jake shook his head and took River’s hand in his, “No you didn’t.” he said softly, “He was never really mine in the first place – his heart belonged to you. But look at you – look what I did…” a tear rolled down his face, his anguish at what he’d done clear to see in his whole demeanour.