Breath We Take (Cuffed By Love Duet Book 1)

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  I sighed at the heavenly feeling of being in his arms again and my head pressed gently to his neck as he spoke roughly against my ear, an affection bleeding through his tone that warmed me all over.

  “I know your scared, baby. I’m scared, too, I just hide it better.”

  There was a haunting vulnerability in his deep voice that had me drawing my face away from his.

  “What are you afraid of?” I whispered and he just shook his head before ghosting his hands over mine on his shoulders and lifting one to his lips for a kiss. The loving gesture had my heart racing and my chest warming and I loved every second of it.

  “You have the unique power to hurt me and that scares me. I’m a strong man but if you told me you didn’t want this, didn’t feel this? I don’t think I could take that.”

  I would never hurt you, Hudson.

  How could I when your the one making me feel things I never thought was possible for me?

  I never thought I was lovable after the way my father treated us.

  After watching him slowly come to detest my mother for no other reason but that she existed.

  I had learned that love and hate are very similar and in one wrong turn, those emotions can bleed into one.

  “I won’t.” I whispered, hating how small those words sounded against the gravity of his fear. But I meant every word.

  I would never want to hurt this man and even if I had to hurt myself in the process, I would make sure I never brought him the trouble my life seemed to always bring whenever I had something good in my life.

  After moving out of the house I grew up in and taking the short flight from Georgia to Austin I was afraid the terrors of my child hood years would follow me here. It was the reason I shied away from any sort of relationship in the past five years. I didn’t think I was worthy of someone else’ love when the one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally did everything in his power to hurt me and my mother.

  I hated him for a very long time and inevitably, with years of therapy and Ashlee’s support, I learned to let go of the anger I felt for my father.

  I was free from it all and I thanked God for that as I leaned closer into Hudson’s strong, unwavering hold and placed a kiss on his neck to reinforce my promise.

  “I won’t, Hudson.”

  He dipped his mouth to mine then, and I sighed against his lips as he softly, reverently kissed our fears and worries away.

  I was going to take a chance on this.

  As he swept his tongue softly into my mouth and took a long pull from my mouth, I calmed and pulsed with want for more, my indecision long forgotten as he loved me with his rough and tender mouth.

  He could do the most sinful things with it but for now, he was reassuring me and I soaked up every ounce of the tenderness I found in our kiss.

  One large finger dipped under my chin and dragged over my cheek until it reached my lower lip where he tugged gently. My mouth fell open wider for him and as it did, he deepened the kiss sending my toes curling and a soft mewl to escape from my lips.

  “Hudson, we should eat before we get carried away.”

  I breathed and a low growl left him as he nodded, his mouth begrudgingly retreated from mine on a hiss of displeasure.

  “Yeah.”

  I watched him move away from me and go to the stove up where we had left the Chile simmering on a low heat setting.

  He moved with sure, dominating steps taking two large white dinner plates down from the cabinet above the kitchen sink and he dished out our dinner along with the garlic bread we had made earlier before stalking back over to where I sat at the head of his long, pine wood table.

  “What would you like to drink?” His voice was raspy and sexy as hell as he spoke and I bit my lip as my eyes looked over him looking all domestic and homely. I loved seeing him this way and I craved to see more private sides of him he only showed the people in his tight inner circle. As he raised an eyebrow at me and a small, playful smile covered his face I realized I was one of those people now.

  He wanted me.

  It still seemed crazy to me but I was going with it.

  “If you have wine, I would love a glass.” I murmured and he nodded, placing my plate in front of me. A light kiss feathered over my cheek before he was moving away again.

  Once Hudson had poured us each a glass of my favorite white wine, we settled in to eat our dinner. I took a small bite of the heavenly smelling sauce and sighed in contentment. It was perfect. Not too hot, with a few spices to heat up the sauce while keeping the natural flavors of the vegetables.

  “Stop looking at me like that, Em”.

  My eyes dropped back down to my plate and a blush rose in my cheeks as he caught me looking at him. I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

  I took another bite of the crisp garlic bread and shrugged my shoulders.

  “Why?”

  He moved forward in his seat, his gaze turning heated in a matter of seconds.

  “Because it makes me want to kiss you.”

  My skin pebbled in goosebumps and I moved closer, my eyes watching the hunger move through his face.

  “I’d like that.”

  “Eat and then I’ll kiss you.”

  His voice came out all growling and rough and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.

  I went back to the meal we’d prepared, but felt his gaze on me still.

  “You’re staring now.”

  A low chuckle came from his full lips and the sound caused warmth to rush through me. I was coming to love the sound of his laugh.

  “Can’t help it. Your just too fucking beautiful.”

  My plate was clean by the time he stopped staring at me, but that was only because his hands had reached between us and sought out my face, his mouth on mine in a matter of seconds, doing what he’d promised he would as we ate. I had learned quickly that he was a man of his word.

  He would tell me the truth, even when it hurt. He would never lie to me, unless it was for the cause of protecting me. I had a feeling he was keeping something from me when I had asked about the hospital break in a few nights ago and he had told me not to worry about it. He knew who was responsible, or at least had an idea as to who it could be. I knew when it was right, he would tell me the truth and he would protect from it, too.

  That was just the kind of man Hudson Lennox was.

  His tongue traced the seam of my lower lip as he pulled away and I reached out to grasp the collar of his shirt before he moved too far.

  “You make me feel crazy.”

  My breaths were fast and panting from his rough kisses. A slow, sexy smile widened over his other wise hard edges face and the inked fingers of his hands brushed over my cheeks in the gentlest way. The gesture was a complete opposite to the way he kissed me and I soaked it up.

  “I like making you feel crazy.”

  I laughed and so did he, a quiet laughter that meant we were in this together and I loved that, too.

  I rested my face against his chest, the sound of his quickened heart beat calming my racing one and a feeling of safety rushed through me. Binding one arm around my waist while the fingers of his other hand smoothed over my hair, he whispered into my ear.

  “Your safe with me. I won’t ever hurt you, Em. I need you to believe that.”

  I curled my hands around his neck and pressed my head against his as I whispered a confession I needed him to hear as much as I needed to say it.

  “I do.”

  ***

  It was close to midnight by the time we pulled into my driveway outside of the city. Hudson took my hand in his large palm and skated a kiss gently over my knuckles.

  “Thank you for coming out with me.”

  I leaned into his hand as it glided over my cheek, my body craving the sensations it brought upon contact.

  “Can you walk me up?” I asked, a hesitant excitement in my voice.

  Depending and trusting in another person, especially a man I had only known for a mat
ter of weeks was both terrifying and liberating. I knew he was one of the good, true men in the world and I found myself wondering how I had gotten this stroke of good luck to have him in my life, even if it was for a short amount of time. I knew from experience that life was unexpected and scary at times so when good things came around, it was hard to let myself trust in it.

  The more I was around this man and learned about him and who he was, down to his core, the more I realized he’d be worth the risk.

  His long, thick fingers slipped through mine and I slipped my house keys out of my purse to unlock the door. I felt his heated gaze on my face as I did and a small smile tipped my lips.

  I don’t think I have ever smiled as much as I do when I’m around him.

  I felt another piece of my heart fall into place as he took my face in his hands, his hold on me gentle and his wide, pale blue eyes took me in. He didn’t move in to kiss me like I had expected him to but he didn’t move away to go back to his truck, either. He just tipped my head back with a hand on my nape and looked at me. I wiggled slightly under the intensity of it and then he lowered his mouth to mine in soul mending kiss.

  “Goodnight.” He growled against my lips and a sigh left my lips at the sound of it. I was coming to love when his voice would go all husky as he kissed me.

  “Thank you.” I whispered and felt his sexy smile against our kiss.

  As his head drew apart from mine, I captured his hand before he strayed too far.

  “Stay.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Emberly

  “Em, baby I think you got some mail.” Hudson’s deep voice carries from the bedroom as I attempted to tame the frizzy and curly mess that was my hair the following morning. Putting my brush back on the bathroom sink, I stepped through the open door to my room and smiled as I saw him in all his glory, thumbing through my mail- shirtless. God, I could get used to this.

  Slow down, girl.

  Marriage and babies is a long way off…

  “What were you just thinking about?” He was suddenly much closer than before, with his large, cullused hands cupping my cheeks and his wide, blue, piercing eyes adoringly on my face. Pulling back a fraction, I smiled and leaned into his touch; as I always did. He was my one and only addiction; a man I could never get enough of.

  “Nothing, Hud. I’m fine.” I assured him, letting my hands rest over his toned as all hell chest. He met my gaze for a long moment before grinning wide, again.

  “Yeah, you are.” Crushing my mouth under his after his teasing words, I laughed beneath his kiss feeling my soul light up with the warmth being with him like this always gave me. I didn’t know something so good and so right was possible after the life I’d lived but with Hudson, it was.

  I was like a love sick actor in one of those musicals my Mama always loved, singing gleefully about how anything is possible.

  “What did I come in here for?” I asked almost an hour later, as we lazily laid over my bed, a mess of tangled limbs and hot seeking mouths, eager for just one more taste.

  Laughing loudly, Hudson slid his hands down my back and grabbed my ass in his way before smirking and kissing the top of my head as if he thought I was cute.

  Knowing him, he probably did.

  “Mail, baby.”

  “Oh. If it’s a bill, I don’t need it.” I teased, pushing him away when he begun to kiss down my neck again. He was a walking, talking distraction, this man.

  “Funny. No, it’s a letter.” Huh. That was weird, I thought to myself. I hadn’t read a real, actual letter since before Nursing school and it was only because it had been my acceptance letter. It’s much easier to send an email or text now a days.

  “Let me see.” Taking the letter from where he picked it up, I skimmed my eyes over the return address. Atlanta, Georgia.

  No, it couldn’t be…

  Reading it again, I realized it had to be from my father, if he wasn’t in jail or dead by now. From what I could remember, he’d had a lot of friends and some deep pockets, too. There was no way that even if someone did find out about his shady business or the fatal assault on my mother, he wouldn’t atone for it.

  Grasping Hudson’s arm for more support than anything, I looked up at him hoping he didn’t see how much I was freaking out right then.

  “Could I read this alone?” His eyes, crystal blue and laced with concern narrowed ever so slightly before he nodded, dropping his head to mine and kissing my cheek with a gentleness I’d come to crave from him.

  “Only a few minutes, Em. If you need me, I’m right outside. Yeah?”

  I did need him. But it was my father. I had to deal with it on my own.

  “Okay.” With another slight nod of his head, he closed the door behind him, leaving me effectively alone with the words of the man that made me the woman I am today.

  Sometimes scared. Sometimes weak. Sometimes tainted. And I hated him. I would always hate him, down to my bones.

  Dear Emberly,

  His letter began the same way almost every other does and as I continued reading, I hated every single word that came after it.

  ***

  Hudson

  Leaving that room was probably the hardest thing she could have asked of me. But Emberly had her own mind and if I denied her that, I wouldn’t deserve her. So I let her have her space. Sitting against the door of her bedroom, I listened like a hawk, ready to burst inside as soon as I heard anything that told me she was upset by the letter.

  It was from Atlanta, a place I knew she was born and grew up in. What I didn’t know was who would take the time to mail her a letter or why she didn’t want to share it with me.

  Was my girl embarrassed?

  Did she think that whatever was in that letter would somehow change the way I felt about her?

  How I loved her?

  “Hud, baby I need you.” Her words came from the other side of the door and stumbling in my frantic need to get to her, I turned the door handle and opened my arms just in time to catch her when she fell, right into me, where she belonged. Her hot tears bathed my neck and her warm, heaving breath blew over my skin and I held her, so damn tight I was sure she couldn’t breathe but at that very moment I didn’t care.

  I would be her damn breath.

  “Tell me, Em.”

  “M-my dad.” She weakly whispered.

  Fuck! I should have never let her read it before I got my hands on it. Of course she’d wanted to read it alone, her father was reaching out to her and she didn’t want him to touch us. Where I was protective of her in spades, so was she. She was my little fighter, unwilling for her past to taint us. Eventually, it would and when that day came, we’d deal with that. But, until then she wanted to protect me from the vile words he’d most likely written for her and if I knew her as well as I thought I did, she wouldn’t tell me all of them.

  She was protecting us.

  “Come here.” Sitting on the edge of her bed, I laid down and took her with me, letting her rest her head on my chest in hopes that the sound of my heart beat would calm her as it normally did when nightmares plagued her dreams.

  “Before I left for school, my father did something bad- horrible, really. I didn’t want to be involved in what he was doing, shady dealings in his business that I knew would take everything from him- his house, his cars, his money. The only thing he truly had to lose was me and I was already gone. He said I’ll be sorry…” Before she continued, she peered up at me, her tear stained cheeks so pale it had my heart stopping in chest.

  How was I supposed to fix this? Fix her?

  “Look at me, Darlin’.” When her big, wet eyes met mine, I grabbed her face as gently as I could and made sure she saw the honesty in my own.

  “His wrongs aren’t yours. Whatever he said to make you sad, don’t be. Please, baby. You know what these tears do to me.” Smiling shakily, Emberly nodded and leaned into my touch as I tried my best to wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

  Fuck, was she beautiful.


  “I know. I’m okay, Hud. He’s just… he’s my father. I don’t want to hate him, but I do. Does that make me a bad person? That I hate my own blood?” She peered up at me pleadingly and even though I couldn’t have ever imagined having hatred for my family, I knew her childhood wasn’t even close to mine. The man had hurt her, body and soul. How someone who was supposed to love and protect her could do that, I’d never know. I just had to be here for her if she needed someone. And right then, I was.

  “You’re so damn strong, Em. You know that, right?”

  Nodding her head, she smiled big and bright, lighting up the whole damn room.

  “I want to be. You make me believe I can be, Hud. Thank you.”

  Shaking my head at her in exasperation, I kissed her forehead leaving my mouth there as I admonished her.

  “Never have to thank me, Darlin’.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hudson

  I STEPPED INSIDE the hospital entrance the following day with a hot, paper cup in my hand from the café.

  I was a simple man.

  I liked my woman strong willed and beautiful.

  I liked my coffee hot and black.

  And I liked Emberly a hell of a lot more than I should.

  But fuck if I cared. I knew with a sad clarity that life was too short.

  Some people went their entire lives without really living. Yeah, they may have gone through the motions of their lives.

  They may have been married, had a bunch of kids. Maybe they went on a few vacations from their boring old jobs, too.

  But they didn’t live. Life was all about taking chances. Risks.

  Taking the leap and hoping to God that you would land on your feet. It was about loving the ones you could and taking advantage of the time you were given because it could be taken away in an instant.

  And when it did, all you were left with were regrets and enough what ifs? To last you a fucking lifetime.

  I looked down at the red coffee cup in my hand and shook my head in disbelief.