Joy and Tiers

by Mary Crawford

  Heather purrs a sigh of contentment as her eyes drift open. She tilts her head a bit as our eyes meet. “I thought you said we were both getting rewards, Cowboy. I see you handing them out, but I don’t see you getting many.”

  “See, there’s where you’re wrong, Gidget. The look of pleasure on your face can’t be measured. It’s a reward all on its own.”

  Heather’s luscious lips form a frown as she argues, “Maybe so, but I think you’re just trying to welch on your end of the deal.”

  Damn. There are certainly disadvantages to dating a woman as bright as Heather. One of them is that she doesn’t miss a single, solitary thing.

  I swallow hard as I quip, “I’m a good Southern gentleman and ladies always go first.”

  Heather smiles coyly at me as she reaches up and slides her slim fingers under the collar of my shirt. “Well, I’m an even better friend than I am a lady, and friends always take turns,” she murmurs in a low sexy drawl.

  As her cool fingers touch, hot, destructed scars, my vision dims around the edges as my mind drifts back to the chaotic days at Landstuhl Air Force Base. I can still remember the awful stench of burning flesh and antiseptic. Suddenly no one would look me in the eye and I couldn’t get any straight answers when I asked about my men. People were either eerily silent or irritatingly cheerful. Hours and hours of physical therapy and skin grafts have taken care of most of the external damage. I don’t know that there is enough medical care on the planet to erase the memories of holding my friend and colleague after he was blown to pieces.

  I look down at my hands and notice they are shaking. I glance around the room in a frantic bid to find something to distract Heather from my discomfort. Yet, it’s clear from the expression on her face that it’s far too late for that tactic to work.

  Heather gathers my hands between hers. “Tyler, look at me. I’ll be gentle I promise.”

  With excruciating slowness, Heather unbuttons my shirt, brushing her lips across the spot her fingers just left. I shed my thermal undershirt earlier in the morning so there is no barrier between her warm lush lips and my suddenly overheating skin. I can feel every nerve ending as my pulse races like I’ve run sprints with all my gear on. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to regain focus.

  Heather gently brushes her thumbs over my closed eyes as she gently massages the muscles in my face. “Relax Cowboy, I’m not going to hurt you. Pleasure is the name of the game, remember?”

  Her low husky voice is almost enough to send me over the edge. We’ve been playing these flirting games for months. The anticipation is killing me, but I’m trying to do the “right” thing. But, between us, who the hell knows what that is. Nothing about our relationship has followed any rules. We’ve been dancing around each other for months like fencing opponents squaring off in a match before we ever went out, but I felt the chemistry way back then. So, this moment has been a long time coming.

  Without warning, Heather captures my lips in a deep wet, hot kiss. I leave my eyes shut as I focus on the myriad of sensations flooding my body. She shifts to get a better angle and when she does, her ample breasts brush against my chest hair. She draws in a quick breath at the unexpected contact. The hiss compels me to open my eyes. The raw hunger in her eyes is startling and the sight of her lips swollen from our kisses is unbelievably sexy. Her breasts are nestled in my chest hair. It’s a stunningly erotic sight and yet another reminder of how well we fit together.

  Heather looks up at me through her thick lashes as she murmurs, "I guess there's something to be said for collecting rewards." She pushes me back on the bed and pushes my shirt over my shoulders briefly trapping my arms at my side. When she sees the labyrinth of scar tissue and surgical incisions she grimaces. The pity in her eyes is almost too much for me to take and I start to pull away.

  Heather stops my movement with a heart stopping, scorching kiss directly on my ugliest, angriest most painful scar. With excruciating slowness, she kisses each and every scar on my torso, neck and face. I guess she has been paying more attention to me than I thought because she even kisses the one I keep hidden under my cowboy hat. Finally, I can wait no longer to see her reaction. I use my fingertip to tilt her chin so I can see her eyes. My eyes seek out the answers my words are afraid to ask.

  In the two years I’ve known Tyler, I’ve seen many facets of him. I’ve seen him be gregarious and fun with Denny and Mindy, I’ve seen him be serious and businesslike with Jeff and Justice Gardner and I’ve seen him be furious and downright lethal with Kevin Buckhold and my parents. Until this very moment I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Tyler Colton be scared. The fear and pain in his eyes is enough to shatter my heart. This is Ty at his most raw. Tears gather on my lashes as I try to express in words what has been forming in my heart over the last few months. I kiss him gently on the lips and pull away as I say, “Don’t you realize that these are part of what makes you so beautiful to me? The fact that you are willing to lay your life down to save someone else’s make these imperfections meaningless to me.”

  I feel a shudder go through Tyler’s body as he gathers me into a tight embrace.

  “What if all my so-called sacrifice just effed-up the lives of a bunch of innocent people and didn’t save anything? It’s not so noble then, right?”

  I stare directly into Ty’s eyes as I counter, “And what if things would have been exponentially worse without you there? You couldn’t have known what was going to happen that day. You didn’t cause your men to be hurt, the terrorists did. The fact that you are willing to run toward danger when others run away speaks volumes about your character. You forget I’ve seen you in more than one dangerous situation. If I were a soldier, I would always want you in my foxhole or guarding my six as they say. In fact, I’m not a soldier and I still want you guarding my six.”

  Despite the serious nature of our conversation, Tyler can’t resist acknowledging the mention of my backside, the corner of his mouth hitches up as he quips, “Gidg, it would be an honor to guard your buns any day of the week. Just tell me when and where.”

  “Not so fast. It’s still my turn. Why don’t you let me watch you for a while?” Ty loosens his hold on me and I finish removing his shirt and follow the trail of the scars around his back. I can’t imagine how painful this injury must have been when it occurred. It looks like someone tried to peel off his skin. He groans when I kiss the jagged scar at the base of his spine. I reach around and unbutton his Levi’s. I really wish I had thought to bring my MP3 player because the absolute silence of the room is underscoring every move I make. I can hear my fingernails brush the individual buttons of his fly as I release them and the corresponding hiss of his breath. I can also hear my breathing increase as I respond to his reaction to my touch. I swear I can hear my heart beat and the sound of a simple swallow resonates in an echo through the room like a cannon. Suddenly, the tension in the room is broken as I realize he’s wearing adult sized under-roo’s. I can’t help myself as I laugh out loud. “Now, those are some sexy drawers, Tyler.”

  He spins me around so I’m sitting in his lap. “What? You don’t like Daffy Duck?” he asks, as the tips of his ears turn red.

  “I like him just fine, I just didn’t expect to find him on your underwear. In case no one has reminded you recently, you’re a grown up.”

  “Says the person who has Jessica Rabbit pajamas and bunny slippers,” Tyler parries.

  “Touché.” I respond, winking. “They’re just not the usual seduction-wear I encounter on dates.”

  Ty’s jaw tightens a bit as he asks, “Is this usual dating behavior for you?”

  I stiffen as I answer, “I’m not sure I should have to answer that unless you do, but to answer your question, not recently. I’m a little more selective than I was in my younger days since I’ve been burned. I haven’t dated a whole bunch in my life since I don’t look like Madison and her friends. I’m more like the wing woman. But, I have been known to play a little backseat baseball to try to become popular. So,
in college I did see a few pairs of men’s underwear and what goes into them. Not to be crass or anything but once you’ve seen a few guys’ junk, they’re pretty much interchangeable regardless of what all you guys think.”

  Tyler runs his hand down his face as he closes his eyes briefly and shakes his head to clear it. “Gidget, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m in no position to judge anybody. Just some ghosts from my past trying to haunt me. So, have I completely ruined everything?”

  I study his face carefully and see nothing but honest regret and pain. I sigh as I run my fingertips over his brow trying to relieve the tension. “For two people who like each other as much as we do—and Tyler Joseph Colton, I really do like you, in fact if I’m truly honest with myself I’m probably more than just a little bit in love with you—we have a remarkable gift of saying exactly the wrong things to each other at exactly the wrong times.”

  Tyler’s eyes widen a bit at my unexpected confession. I don’t exactly blame him. I didn’t expect those words to come flying out of my mouth either. If you would’ve told me even a few months ago that I would be saying such a thing to this giant, contrary, smart-mouthed cowboy who on the surface doesn’t seem to have a care in the world, I would’ve told you that you were certifiably insane. But I’ve come to know him as a man of great heart and integrity who has my back like none other. With him at my side, I feel beautiful and invincible.

  I’m not even consciously aware I’m holding my breath until Tyler runs his hands down my torso and murmurs, “Breathe, Heather. How can you not think that’s the best news I’ve heard in forever? In my book, those are exactly the right words at exactly the right time.”

  “Really?” I ask skeptically, “You don’t think I’m jumping the gun? We haven’t even really been officially dating all that long. I have a list of annoying habits so long that you might hate me by the time you get to the end of it. We still argue like cats and dogs in the middle of a hurricane. At the end of the day, you’re this big strong soldier tough guy and I’m going to make cupcakes for a living.”

  Ty stuns me into silence by kissing me. But, this is unlike any kiss we’ve had before. He starts out tenderly kissing away the traces of tears from earlier. Before he gently claims my mouth, he reverently brushes his lips over mine, slowly savoring each pass. As my lips begin to tingle, I press closer, yearning for more contact. He practically growls as he senses the increase in pressure. He sweeps his tongue in my mouth thoroughly claiming me. I claim him right back. As I do so, his hips buck under me. Through my thin skirt, I can feel his obvious need no longer constrained by his jeans. I break away breathlessly.

  Tyler rests his forehead against mine as he gulps for air. “Heather, I wish I could promise you forever, but I can’t. You know what I do for a living. I could get shot tomorrow on a routine traffic stop or they may make me go play in the sandbox in some godforsaken country somewhere and I might never come back to you. But, if you’re willing to take that risk, we could be great together. Our differences just make things interesting. Just look how much we’ve learned about each other since we’ve been together. You’ve pretty much overhauled the way I eat—hell, I’m practically a food snob now—my own mama won’t recognize me .You would make any rodeo queen jealous, you’re so comfortable with being on the farm. For the first time since I was practically a kid, I want to make this work.”

  Tyler’s words are some of the scariest I’ve ever heard. Of course, I know what he does for a living. But, somehow his affable, happy-go-lucky attitude seems to disguise the level of danger. He so rarely ever talks about the raw, ugly side of his duties that I sometimes forget that he is in peril every day. If he chooses to share stories from his day, they are often about chasing down a wayward wildlife or a five-year-old that got caught shoplifting. I know he purposefully hides the more serious anecdotes from me.

  “Tyler, I know there are going to be some things you cannot share with me because of the nature of your job, but you can’t protect me from everything. I’m a big girl and I’m not going to run from you because you’re not the star athlete and not perfect. If I was going to do that, I would’ve done it a long time ago. Because, quite frankly the hot and cold number you pulled on me in the beginning of our friendship drove me absolutely crazy. So, as long as we can be honest with each other and we’re in this together—whatever this turns out to be—I’m in. Cowboy, you’ve had my heart for a while now. Just try not to break it, okay?”

  “That goes both ways, Gidget. Understood?”

  A sense of calm contentment settles over me as I process his gruffly murmured words. For a few moments, I simply lay my head on his chest and listen to the comforting cadence of his heart beat as it gradually slows down. Tyler is stroking my back and shoulders while he runs his fingers through my goofy, random corkscrew curls. “Your hair is so much fun. It’s like a toy box full of Slinkys.”

  I look up at him and smirk, “I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere--“

  He chuckles, “There is! I swear. I love everything about you. You’re totally stunning.”

  I push Tyler back against the pillows and kneel between his legs. I place a series of hot kisses from his temple to the waistband of his underwear.

  Tyler lifts me off of him abruptly and pins me with a serious gaze. “Heather, when you said all in, I’m really hoping this is included. If not, we need to stop now because, at this moment, I can still be a gentleman. If we cross that line and go any further, it’s going to be much harder for me to keep my hands off of you.”

  With much more boldness than I actually feel, I grab the waistband of his jeans and underwear and start to slide them down over his muscular hips and thighs. “Remember what you asked me on one of our first outings? You asked me if you looked like a person who didn’t know what they wanted. Well, I’m going to ask you the same question now. Have I at any time today seemed indecisive about wanting you?”

  Ty mutely shakes his head and relaxes his arms at his side.

  I kneel down to help remove his boots as I respond, “I guess you could say that this mission is a go, Soldier.”

  Tyler lets out a whoop of celebration that’s so loud it causes Annie to bark downstairs. He proceeds to strip off his remaining clothes and boots so fast he would do a streaker convention proud. Ty picks me up and spins me around as if I am as delicate and elegant as Tara. He sets me on the floor and pulls my skirt over my hips. It pools at my feet and I step out of it. I feel a little foolish standing there with my corset all catawampus and in my cotton underwear with bows at the hips. I guess I should be grateful that I’m not wearing my truly awful granny-panties. Ty eases the corset straps completely off of my shoulders and throws it over a nearby footstool. It takes all of my willpower not to pull the bedspread off the bed and cover up under his frank perusal. He reaches out and flicks the bows at my hips and nods approvingly, “I like these, leave them on.”

  I let out a strangled gasp of astonishment as I exclaim, “These? They’re not even remotely sexy!”

  “That’s why I like them. It’s you being purely Heather. Cute and a little sassy but still comfortable in your own skin. You didn’t put them on to impress anybody. Of all the looks you can pull off, this is my favorite.”

  I’m amazed by his perception. I don’t think even Kiera and Tara, who have known me longer than anyone else, know how I use clothes as armor. I think they just think I have really eccentric taste. It’s a little disconcerting that he’s been able to peel my layers of self-protection back so easily. On the other hand, it’s an incredible relief that someone cares enough about me to take the time to notice who I really am. So, I shrug lightly and quip, “Okay, whatever floats your boat.”

  “Oh Gidget, you float my dinghy, my jet ski, my paddle boat, platoon, my battleship… are you catching my drift here?”

  I giggle as he scoops me up and places me back in the middle of the bed and hops in beside me. He fluffs up the plethora of pillows around us and then looks at me mischie
vously and remarks, “Now, where were we?”

  Never one to back down from an implicit dare, I lean over and kissed him at the waist letting my hair fall around me. Sometimes, being as competitive as I am can get me in over my head. This may be one of those situations. I often have more bravado than common sense. The truth of the matter is I have a lot more experience with just flirting and talking a big game than actually doing much about it. Despite all of my talk earlier about guys all being the same, it’s clearly not true. Up close and personal, Tyler is very impressive. It’s been years since I’ve allowed anyone to get this close to me. I’ve been on a lot of disastrous first dates, often set up by well-meaning friends and coworkers, but I always have successfully fended them off with humor or quickly placed them in the friend zone and passed them off to deserving friends if I thought they were a good match. The intimacy that Tyler and I have developed over the last two years still takes me by surprise. Even though this is the first time we’ve been in this particular circumstance, I trust him more than I have ever trusted any of my former partners. Yet, this is still a big step forward for me.

  I sneak a peek at Tyler’s expression. I’m taken aback by the look of total adoration and concentration on his face as he reaches out to stroke my cheek. His other hand is tangled in my hair as if he’s afraid I might disappear if he let’s go. His expression gives me the courage to go on. I gently kiss the tip of his penis and swirl my tongue around the top like a soft serve ice cream cone. I’m immediately rewarded with a deep masculine groan and a valiant flex of his hips. My inner-people-pleaser breathes a small sigh of relief. I love positive feedback. I take him in my mouth and suck rhythmically while working the shaft with my hands. When I open my eyes, I can see his abdominal muscles twitching as he tries to stay in control. It’s intoxicating and I find my whole body undulating against him, keeping time with my hand and mouth.