So, So Hood

by L. Divine

  “Jayd, is that you?” Alia asks from her comfortable spot on a blanket next to Chance. They’ve got the best seat equidistant between the shore and the bonfire. She and Chance have been inseparable since his breakup with Nellie became official and I’m glad he’s here. I want to see the look in his eyes when I ask him once and for all about the infamous picture. “You look gorgeous, girl.”

  I think she’s the first of my friends to compliment my white attire. I opted for a long, linen dress with a shawl to cover my bare arms and sandals. I do feel pretty in this outfit. I’m grateful my mom did the majority of my iyawo shopping. She knows how to dress no matter the restrictions. If it were left up to Mama I’d sport nothing but wraps and T-shirts until my time was up.

  “Thank you, girl. You don’t look so bad yourself.” I reach down and give my homegirl a quick hug before giving Chance a hug, too. They look quite settled in their new relationship and I’m happy for them. Nellie walked away from a good man leaving Chance free to get with his old girl and I’m not mad at him. Life’s too short to sulk over some chick who didn’t appreciate how good she had it, even if that chick happens to be one of my best friends. I hope Mickey learns from our girl’s mistake before she’s in the same boat.

  “Jeremy and his brothers are in the water, but should be out soon to partake in the festivities,” Chance says, already sounding quite lit. The rest of their school and surfer crew are sprawled out on several different blankets lining the shore chillaxing while watching the waves. “The sunset should be awesome tonight.”

  “Yeah, it should be,” I say. I suddenly realize I’ve left Jeremy’s gift in the car. I couldn’t think of anything to buy him, so with my uncle Bryan’s help I made him three mixed CD’s of our favorite music and some new stuff, too. I know he’ll appreciate them. “I left something in my car. If Jeremy comes over tell him I’ll be right back.”

  Chance glances over his Gucci shades and winks at me affirmatively before settling his head back in Alia’s lap. They both look as content as any new couple can be. If Nellie were here she’d shit a brick. She and the rest of my crew would be here but Rah, Mickey, and Nigel each have a lot going on this afternoon. Besides, they’ve never been much for hanging out at the beach, preferring to stay on dry land even if it is the last party before school starts this Tuesday. I’m just happy to be out of the house and free from working in the spirit room for a few hours. Feeling the warm sand in between my opened toes is exactly what I needed.

  “Hi, Jayd,” Cameron says, snatching away my good mood with her perky voice. This trick really has her nerve speaking to me after what I know she did. Nobody can say the heffa’s a coward.

  “What’s up, loose lips?” I say, halting my trek toward my car parked in one of the various metered spaces on the street. The last thing I need is to have a confrontation with this bitch, but she came up to me, not the other way around.

  Cameron’s face turns as scarlet as the letter A she should be sporting on her barely-there chest. Before she can answer my inquiry, one of her friends who I recognize from school, but have never actually met steps behind her and whispers something in Cameron’s ear, causing her to blush even more. They both giggle and glance back at the water where I see Jeremy and his equally fine brothers walk out of the water glistening like Greek gods.

  I snap my fingers in Cameron’s face demanding she stop drooling over my man and his relatives and focus on the ass whipping I wish I could give her. “Cameron, why don’t we cut the act?” I ask, my body temperature rising with each beat of my heart. “I know you’re vying for my man. And I know you made your move on him in Europe so don’t even try and hide it.”

  “Jayd, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I would never,” Cameron begins, but I’m not listening to her lies this evening.

  Her friend backs up at the angry black girl in her presence and I think that’s wise because this sistah’s about to blow—damn the party.

  “Cameron, I have the proof on my cell that you kissed my man, so you can stop playing dumb. I also know for a fact that he didn’t initiate or return the gesture.” I pull out my phone and open it to the photo. As much as I’ve looked at the damn thing I should make it my screen saver.

  Cameron turns pale at the evidence, but I don’t buy her little act. Something tells me this chick is happy to see the picture in my possession. “How did you get that photo?”

  “What difference does it make?” I ask, snapping the cell shut, now fully enraged. The sun’s sinking into the horizon, which means I have to go soon. I’m wasting what little time I have left talking to this broad when I should be wishing my man a happy birthday. “I’ve got you, Cameron, and know this—you can’t have my man, so back the hell up and stay out of our way before you really get checked, you hear?”

  “Temper, temper, wicked girl,” Cameron says, tilting her head to the right and smiling cunningly like she’s got something on me. “We wouldn’t want you to show your true colors out here where everyone can witness another one of your meltdowns.” Pleased by my heated reaction, Cameron doesn’t even bother pretending she’s innocent any longer. What the hell?

  “What are you talking about?” I ask, curious about how much she knows regarding my slight mental crisis this summer. If Nellie told this bitch anything about my personal issues I’m going to have her ass in a sling next time I see her.

  “Let’s just say I know better than anyone else here why you’re wearing white, including your jaded boyfriend—no pun intended,” Cameron says, her friend laughing at her weak wit. “Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how Jeremy would react if he knew you went crazy while he was vacationing with his family?” How can Cameron possibly know what I did this summer?

  I focus on Cameron’s hazel eyes and jump into her mind before she can contest to the intrusion. I can’t tell for sure, but somehow Jeremy’s mother put her up to this. I knew Mrs. Weiner didn’t like me, but this time she’s gone too far.

  “It’s not going to work, Cameron,” I say, watching as her thoughts unfold before me. “You can’t break me and Jeremy up. We love each other too much to fall prey to your bull.”

  “Love is relative, Jayd. And it’s not enough to change the fact that you’ll never fit into our world.”

  Cameron’s feelings for Jeremy are stronger than I realized. She’s been infatuated with Jeremy since they were in grade school, mostly because her and Jeremy’s moms fed Cameron the fairy tale of their youngest children one day being high school sweethearts and eventually married. Until I came along everything was going according to plan, including the shared family vacations. With our senior year fast approaching it’s Cameron’s last chance to make their fiction real as long as I’m out of the way.

  Why do crows always make unnecessary problems? As much as Cameron’s around the socialites of Palos Verdes, she should know by now their fantasies rarely turn out any better than the reality shows on television. Chance’s mom had the whole Cinderella courtship and so did Jeremy’s oldest brother, Michael, who married his high school sweetheart after stealing her from Reid’s eldest brother. Both of those relationships are on the rocks with the wives and husbands proud alcoholics. That can’t be the life Cameron wants no matter how fine my man is.

  Before I have to slap some sense into Cameron, I’ll opt for the nonviolent route and attempt to chill us both out instead. If I can cool her head maybe I can make the chick see reason. Feeling me at work, Cameron gets angry at my imposition forcing me to leave before becoming fully engulfed in her thoughts. I didn’t get the whole story, but I got enough to know she’s out for a rude awakening if she continues to side with Mrs. Weiner.

  “You don’t belong here, Jayd. Leave now before I humiliate you.” Nearly hissing, Cameron rubs her goose bump–covered arms, looking toward the ocean where the party’s finally getting started.

  Jeremy waves at me with a concerned look, finally deciding to come for me instead of waiting for my return.

  “Jayd, what�
�s up?” Jeremy asks, walking up to me and kissing my neck. Sensing the tension between me and Cameron a few of his friends follow, including Chance and Alia. I guess most of them aren’t used to seeing how we get down where I’m from. As far as I’m concerned I’m being real cool about the situation. Let someone try the same shit on Nigel and Mickey would have drowned the trick by now. Cameron should consider herself lucky I’m trying to walk a different path. Otherwise she’d be picking sand out of her teeth.

  “Cameron was just telling me about how much fun she and your mom had on the trip while plotting the demise of our relationship, isn’t that right?” I say to Cameron while holding Jeremy’s wet waist. His black wetsuit is folded down halfway revealing his tanned chest and ripped six-pack. I dare Cameron to touch my man. Her fingers would be broken before she could beg for mercy.

  “I was just telling Jayd she has it all wrong,” Cameron says, her sly grin replaced by a look of pure innocence. “That’s just crazy talk, Jayd. No one has it out for you and Jeremy, least of all his own mother and oldest friend,” Cameron says without admitting to anything. Oh, she’s good. I’ve gravely underestimated Cameron’s manipulative skills. Best believe I won’t make the same mistake again.

  The setting sun brings a welcomed sea breeze to cool the heated environment, but it’s not enough to calm me down. “And I was telling her to be careful about telling lies. The consequences can be very, very serious.”

  “Jayd, that’s going a little overboard, don’t you think?” Jeremy asks, obviously amused by the discussion, but there’s nothing funny about Cameron’s plan.

  “Are you serious, Jeremy?” I ask, letting him go. “After all we’ve been through you’re going to stand here and deny the possibility that I might be right?”

  No matter which set of friends I’m dealing with, I get so tired of defending myself. The reunion was nice while it lasted, but as usual, Jeremy’s quick to blame the irrational black girl in me for jumping to conclusions. That’s our only real major issue and unfortunately it’s a big one.

  “She can’t help being hood,” Cameron’s unidentified friend says, adding her unsolicited two cents. “She’s a product of her environment.” Whoever this broad is better take two steps back before she gets clocked by this so-called product.

  “Come on, Jayd. I’ll walk you to your car,” Chance says, trying to diffuse the situation, but I’m too hot to walk away with my supposed man defending the trick who’s trying to break us up. I look at my homeboy and the fading sun behind him and decide to walk away for the time being, but I’m not letting this go.

  “Happy birthday, Jeremy. I hope you and your new girl have one hell of a time.”

  “Baby, come on. Don’t you think you’re overreacting? You can’t leave yet, please Jayd.” Jeremy’s pleading’s not so cute anymore, not after what I just witnessed. Women can be very persuasive and as long as Jeremy second-guesses my skills I can’t protect him from Cameron and his mom’s ill intentions.

  “It’s getting late, Jeremy,” I say, resuming my initial pace before Cameron intervened. “I’ll send your birthday gift back with Chance. But mark my words, Cameron’s up to something. I’d watch your back if I were you.”

  Cameron slits her angry eyes at me, waiting for my next move, but she’ll never see it coming. If I have to deal with all of the other hackling hens in my world, one more makes no difference to me. All bitches have their disturbing ways, but their eliminations will be swift and exact, guaranteed.

  Jeremy, his brothers, and their friends watch as Chance and I walk away, amazed at my claims, but I know I’m right. I know it’s hard for Jeremy to accept that his mom’s a treacherous wench, but truth is truth. I have to find a way to make him see the light. It’s hard for Jeremy to deal with all the ins and outs of dating a black girl, but he’s been rolling with it for almost a year. I know I’ll never be from Jeremy’s wealthy, white side of town and he’ll never be a boy in my hood, but we’ve worked our relationship out for this long and I’m not about to let Cameron or anyone else mess us up. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep my life from falling completely apart at the hands of the jealous wenches ever present in both our worlds.

  A hooded figure in the night shadows startles me before quickly fading into the dark fog ahead. I’m standing in the middle of an intersection ready to make the sacrifice at the crossroads, but Legba’s not here like he should be. Where’s my daddy when I need him?

  “I’m right here, little girl,” a male voice says, but I can’t see where it’s coming from. The thick fog makes it impossible to see all around and the moonless night only aids in the ambiguity of my surroundings. “I’m always here, even when you don’t see me.”

  “Trust your heart,” Mama says in my mind. The hooded figure reappears as Mama’s voice fades out. It runs down the street directly in front of me coming toward me and I stay put, bracing myself for the impact. I would run, but I don’t know which way to go.

  The fog slightly dissipates allowing me to make out more roads although I can’t see any of them clearly. I run to my right and turn the corner only to see more roads and more hooded figures coming at me from several directions. None of my options are clear, but I have to choose one or get pounded by them all. Shit, now what?

  “Legba, where are you? Baba, please help me,” I cry, pleading with my father orisha to get me out of this mess.

  The hooded figure turns to his left now wearing all red rather than the black ensemble he was just sporting a second ago. It’s been Legba all along. Instead of feeling my dilemma, my baba laughs loudly at my confusion and continues moving my way.

  “ You never beg Legba, chile,” Maman says, appearing on the opposite corner. I look up at the streetlight above my head and recognize it from the light at the end of our block in Compton unlike Maman’s light, which is much older and unfamiliar to me. Most of the street signs are written in French or Catholic saints’ names. The intersection closest to Maman reads St. Ann and North Rampart streets. I’m no expert, but I can recognize New Orleans locations when I see them.

  “How do I convince Legba to help me?” I ask, fearing the impending collision seconds away. The red figures are gaining speed, laughing more loudly the closer they get.

  “You demand whatever it is that you need of him outright. That’s the only way Legba will respect you,” Maman says hurriedly in my head. “Tell the truth and be loud about it, omo Oshune. Then he’ll give his child almost anything you wish.”

  “Legba, clear the road!” I shout at the figures. I repeat my demand, this time even louder and the sprinting red images stop in their tracks.

  “As you wish, my child,” they say in unison with their smiles evident under their hooded faces.

  The fog finally lifts allowing the light of the rising sun to clear all the roads before me. One by one, the Legba figures melt away with the night darkness, making my decision an easy one. My choices are clear; it’s the execution that’s difficult.

  “Wake up, Jayd. It’s time,” Mama says, snatching me out of my dream world and back to reality. What could be so important that my last Saturday to sleep in after working with kids all week is over?

  I rub the sleep out of my eyes noticing Mama and Netta are up and already dressed. As Netta turns the dresser lamp on Mama helps me to my feet. I don’t know what time it is, but the house is still quiet and I can tell it’s dark outside. Where did Netta come from and why are we up before dawn?

  “Come over here, child. We don’t have all morning,” Mama says, lighting the candles on each of the five shelf tiers instantly illuminating the small space.

  Mama gestures for me to kneel before the small altars next to her bed and I follow her instructions, first wrapping myself in a white lapa matching those of my grandmother and godmother. I join them in the small space between the twin-sized bed and the family shrines with our backs to the wall. The window behind our heads is cracked allowing the cool twilight air to caress the back of my neck, fully waking m
e.

  “So sa, so kere. Eshu Laroye, so kere,” Netta chants to Oshune’s personal Legba, saying that whether he speaks a little or a lot to open the shrine on a prosperous foot. Mama and I join in on the second verse, officially getting the spirit session started.

  All living beings—the Creator itself and the other orishas included—has his or her own path of Legba. Whenever necessary all known roads of Legba should be recognized out of respect for the complex orisha. As in my dream a moment ago, Legba opens and closes all roads and is always the first and last orisha petitioned during all ceremonies.

  Mama removes the outside cover of the spirit book revealing its aged, light brown leather skin. I’ve never seen the naked coat of the massive book nor the veve—or spiritual symbol—prominently displayed on the cover in red ink. The centered drawing looks like the letter x drawn through the center of a heart, much like the crossroads represented in Legba’s veve.

  “This is our lineage’s veve, omo Oshune,” Mama says, gently touching the paper with her fingertips. “The heart represents Oshune in her truest form, which is love and the cross belongs to baba Legba. As you can see in the drawing, there are several possibilities within those choices, sometimes good and sometimes not so good.”

  Netta looks at the book marveling at our mysterious family logo. “When and where the roads of our heart intersect is up to us. At best we are deeply flawed as humans, but Yeye still loves us anyway. It is through our mistakes our creativity thrives. Then and only then can our blessings begin and end with true compassion for others.”