Moving On

by Millie Gray

  During the run to Carlyon Bay, in what Mike called his reliable old banger, the conversation was light and when Sea Road loomed into view a broad smile came to Kitty’s face.

  The car had just drawn to a halt when Laura came out to greet Kitty. Kitty’s eyes popped.

  ‘Here, Laura, what’s this with the smock? Are you . . . ?

  Laura grabbed Kitty by both hands and they did a little jig about the pathway.

  ‘You never said.’

  ‘No. I am just three months.’

  ‘Then why are you wearing a smock now?’

  ‘Just want the whole world to know that Mike and I are going to be someone’s mum and dad.’

  They were now indoors and Laura was leading Kitty to her room when Kitty whispered in her ear, ‘And does the dragon in Trinity, your mother-in-law, know?’

  Laughing, Laura shook her head. ‘As you know, she washed her hands of Mike when he married me. Her attitude to me and my family was the reason that he applied for and got the surveyor’s job down here. So I don’t care if she never sees her grandchildren. But then, would she wish to be a granny, a proper granny, to a child,’ Laura lovingly rubbed her hand over her stomach, ‘who had been brought into this world by the sister of a monster?’

  Kitty turned and took Laura into her arms. ‘I’ve missed you so.’

  Laura brightened. ‘Now do tell why you changed the day of your arrival?’

  ‘Don’t ask. All I will tell you is that my idiot father has been thinking he’s Casanova.’

  ‘So you had to go to London and sort him out?’

  Kitty shrugged. ‘Yes. But I wouldn’t take a bet on him saying no if another bird brain with legs that go on forever gives him the glad eye.’

  Laughing, Laura replied, ‘Come on Kitty, your dad will soon be pushing fifty and that’s over the hill for true romance.’

  Kitty pondered before asking, ‘And a woman at twenty-five, Laura?’

  ‘She’s in her prime, Kitty . . . a beautiful full-grown cherry ready for picking.’

  Kitty spent the whole weekend with Laura, Mike and Billy. Billy had chatted to her about how it would soon be time for his dad to get out of hospital and then he would be able to come to Cornwall and they would go fishing together. When he said that, Kitty had bitten on her lip because Billy had reminded her of how Laura’s dad and brother had always gone fishing. Lads’ bonding time it had always been and she did so hope that it wasn’t too late for Eric and Billy to form such a relationship.

  On Monday morning the sun was high in the sky and Billy had just left for school when Laura announced that, as she was going to the antenatal exercise clinic, she thought Kitty should spend the day on Crinnis Beach. That was the beach just at the bottom of Sea Road. She and Mike would drop her off with a deckchair and she would stay there just relaxing and reading her book.

  Kitty, with assistance from Mike, managed to anchor the chair so that the cliff face was at her back and she was looking out to the clear blue bay. No wonder, she thought, as she settled down for the morning, that they call this place the Cornish Riviera.

  She did read for half an hour but then she decided to lift her face to be kissed by the sun. She sighed deeply as the warm rays relaxed her and she began reflecting on her life. As she became completely soporific she thought that, on the whole, it had not been such a bad one. Then she became aware that the sun was no longer toasting her. Opening her eyes, she expected to see the sun blocked out by a cloud, but she was faced with the figure of a tall man.

  ‘Excuse me,’ she said politely but feeling a bit put out, ‘you are blocking my sunlight.’

  He laughed uproariously. ‘Oh, Miss Anderson, the last thing I would ever want to do is get in the way of your sunshine.’

  Rising from a deckchair is always an ungainly activity and Kitty found herself clutching at the trousers of the man as she tried to steady herself and get up into an upright position.

  As soon as she was steady, she half turned to see who the man, who obviously knew her well enough to know her name, was. On finding herself face to face with Felix Martin, she flopped back down on to the deckchair.

  ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ she cried as she got up off the seat again.

  ‘Same as you . . . enjoying a well-earned holiday.’

  ‘No. When we had supper together you told me nothing about yourself, except that when I mentioned I was coming here to Carlyon Bay, you said that you always liked holidaying up in the Highlands or over in the Hebrides.’ Kitty now squinted to look over the sand and towards the bright blue twinkling sea. ‘And that sea dancing out there is the English Channel; it is definitely not the Minch.’

  ‘I concur. But as to why I am here. You see, you spoke so enthusiastically about Carlyon Bay, I felt I just had to come and see it for myself.

  Kitty looked quizzically at Felix. She was sure he was not telling her the whole truth. What was more disconcerting was that she just couldn’t suppress the feeling of intoxication that was washing over her because he was standing so near to her.

  ‘And you are, of course, quite right. It is very beautiful.’

  ‘And that is the sole reason why you took the train down here?’

  ‘No. I came by car.’

  ‘Car?’

  ‘Yes. I had intended driving to Mallaig, boarding the ferry there and then touring the Isles of Uist, but the desire to finish our little chat put that trip on the back-burner.’

  ‘Oh,’ teased Kitty, ‘you mean you wish to tell me all about yourself?’

  He shook his head. Telling anyone about himself was something he found very difficult. A silence had fallen between them and he could see that she was waiting for an answer.

  Quietly, but firmly, he said, ‘My mother always advised me that I should never confide to anyone any details about myself.’

  Kitty shook her head. Why the secrecy, she wondered. Then she concluded that perhaps it was because he had been born out of wedlock. She then went on to think that his mother must have had means because how else could she have afforded his private-school fees and university tuition?

  Whilst Kitty was trying to solve the mystery of what Felix had to hide he was thinking back to when he first began to realise that his being in this world was an embarrassment to most of his relatives, especially his mother’s parents.

  FELIX’S STORY

  As he grew up he never forgot the only words that he ever heard his grandfather utter. ‘Anne,’ he had said in a disdainful tone, ‘I am very sorry but you have misunderstood our invitation. It was for you alone. We have no desire to accommodate a child that is . . . let’s put it nicely . . . difficult for us to acknowledge. I am aware you thought that as we have allowed five years to pass since we asked you to leave our home that we had perhaps . . . well we haven’t. It is also regrettable that he looks like me. Now if you wish to come back alone we would be happy to see you.’

  Felix’s mother had then grabbed him by the hand as she prepared to leave her parents’ house for the last time. ‘No thank you,’ she hissed as she proceeded to the door. ‘When my son is welcome, I will return.’ His grandfather had then said, ‘You have made your decision, which we will respect. However, if you ever require financial assistance to educate your child . . .’ His Mother had then retorted ‘I require nothing from you’ and as she left her parents home for the last time she hissed, ‘He is my son and I will provide for him. Provide his every emotional and financial need.’ They left Kelvinside there and then and they never returned. They settled in Edinburgh and what had always remained a mystery to him was that his mother, who worked as a secretary, had somehow persuaded the Board of George Heriot’s School that his father was dead and he was therefore entitled to be educated there on a scholarship basis. Then, to finance his way through his law degree, he had to work part-time as a waiter. To assist him, his mother had taken on an additional job as an evening usherette in the State Cinema in Leith.

  Thinking of his mum, and how she h
ad sacrificed for him, which was probably a contributing factor to her early demise, always saddened him. It was good to know she saw him become a competent advocate and that all she had done for him had paid dividends. He knew that it was time to move on. But, he wondered, how could he move on with anyone special if he remained wary about telling them about his past?

  Changing the subject he said, ‘Look Kitty, may I call you, Kitty?’

  ‘Well yes, but in your class I would probably be known as Katherine.’

  The expression that crossed his face caused her to shiver. It was as if she had touched a raw nerve. And when he spoke, she was reminded of how he conducted himself in court. ‘Class? Are you aware that people putting so much emphasis on class and social standing is a type of pernicious ailment that destroys and . . . ?’ He didn’t finish his statement. Kitty was aware that he had dropped his guard, but as soon as he realised, he quickly changed his tone and said, ‘Look I have booked myself into that hotel on the cliff top up there.’

  Not wishing to cause him any further discomfort, she looked up at the superior building before quipping, ‘Now should I not have known that you would have installed yourself there?’

  ‘Bet it is not as homely as your B&B.’

  ‘You’re right there. And not only is it the best boarding house around here but you are always assured of a shoulder to cry on if you need it.’

  ‘I hope that won’t be necessary today or in the future. But back to what I was saying, I am a resident at the hotel and they serve morning coffee and croissants on the veranda so how about we avail ourselves?’

  During morning coffee Felix persuaded Kitty to go with him to see the famous pretty little fishing port of Polperro. Both found the little village enchanting so they stayed on for lunch. The more time they spent together the more they relaxed in each other’s company. She was really pleasantly surprised that he was quite an affable fellow and not the stiff and formal stuffed shirt he appeared to be in court.

  As for Felix, he couldn’t believe that she could take up his full attention and for the first time since he became an advocate his mind was not going over one of his pending cases.

  All too soon, for both of them, it was time to leave the magical place that had bewitched them – so much so that they felt so comfortable in each other’s company that they wished the day could last forever.

  Like people who have known each other for a long time, and are at ease with each other, there were several lapses in the conversation whilst they travelled back. Both were thinking how pleasing it was that they had started to look at each other in different ways.

  On arrival back at the Crinnis Beach, Kitty was surprised to see that her deckchair wasn’t there. ‘I don’t believe it,’ she exclaimed. ‘Surely no one would steal a deckchair. Ah well, if they have I will just have to buy a replacement for Laura.’

  Next stop was Laura’s home and Kitty had just jumped out of the passenger seat of Felix’s car when Laura opened the door.

  ‘Kitty,’ she exclaimed, rushing forward to grab hold of her. ‘Where on earth did you get to? Exercise class finished early, Mike then picked me up and dropped me down at the beach so you and I could have a lazy lunch together and all I found was the deckchair and your book.’ Laura sighed. ‘I was so scared. I mean it looked as if you had gone for a swim in the sea and I thought you might have . . . well you just might have . . .’

  ‘Sorry, Laura, I should have left a note.’

  By this time Felix was out of the car, and as he stepped forward, he extended his hand to Laura. ‘You don’t know me but I’m Felix and I am the one to blame for whisking Kitty away.’

  Laura made no attempt to shake Felix’s hand, and as she stepped back from him she uttered, ‘Oh but you are so wrong, Mister Martin, I do know you. For a while you were forever in my nightmares.’ She then abruptly turned and re-entered her home.

  Kitty was dumbfounded. The Laura who had just spoken to Felix was a Laura that she just didn’t know. A Laura she should have known. Why was she so naive to think that all that had happened to Laura and her family, when Eric was charged with murdering Edna, would be something that they would ever get over? Laura had been so much a part of her life, an important part of her life, that she was overwhelmed by a compulsive desire to run after Laura and comfort her.

  Without even stopping to give a wave goodbye to Felix, Kitty fled indoors after Laura.

  ‘Laura, what’s got into you?’

  ‘Into me, Kitty?’ Laura challenged. ‘Now I might not be as bright as you but my head doesn’t button up the back. So don’t try and tell me that you just happened to bump into him on Crinnis Beach and you both remembered each other from Eric’s trial away back in September 1945. In case you don’t know it, Kitty, it is now May 1949. And he would, in nearly four years, have hung hundreds out to dry, so how come he would remember you?’

  ‘Okay, calm down. Yes I did meet him last week when I was coming out of the prison. Believe me I was as surprised as you are that he remembered me. It was bucketing down and he offered me a lift, which I was glad to accept.’

  ‘I can see that you were.’

  Kitty ignored Laura’s sarcasm. ‘I was in a hurry because I had to catch the morning train for London. I hadn’t eaten all day so he offered to treat me to supper.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘Nothing. I told him I was coming to visit you, and see when he turned up on the beach this morning I was . . . blown away.’

  ‘Blown away? You sure are. Have you forgotten all that he implied about Eric?’ Kitty shook her head. ‘Now don’t tell me you, who was born in Ferrier Street and reared in Restalrig, think that because you are a qualified staff nurse you can set your cap for him. Professionals like him don’t marry lassies like us.’

  Kitty found it difficult to do as she had been taught and that was when you were getting angry the best way to cope is not to raise your voice and to breathe in deeply. ‘Laura, I hardly know the man. If you had any sense you would have noticed he is much older than I am. We just had a nice little jaunt about together . . . Seeing sights neither of us had ever seen before. And as to you thinking I am getting above myself, what do you think of a lassie, who had the same upbringing as me, marrying a quantity surveyor?’

  Laura was about to retort when Mike came in. Looking from Laura to Kitty he could see both women were not quite themselves. ‘Problem?’

  ‘Sorry, Mike, I went off with Felix Martin . . .’

  ‘Who in the name is Felix Martin?’

  ‘Just the big shot Edinburgh lawyer that stitched our Eric up good and proper.’

  ‘Oh, I remember him. Superior, aloof sort of guy.’

  ‘Not aloof today, he wasn’t. And Kitty would like me to believe it was just by chance that he was passing by Crinnis Beach and then like a knight in shining armour he whisked her away in his chariot.’

  ‘Right girls, you two have been friends through thick and thin for how long?’

  ‘Since we were at school.’

  ‘That’s right, Kitty. So let’s cool everything down. Now, Laura, my love, Kitty came here to spend time with you . . .’ Laura was about to interrupt but Mike silenced her by putting up his hand. ‘Tomorrow is Tuesday. That is the day that you said you were going to spend with Kitty. Now the plan was that you would both get your hair done and then go out to lunch. That’s not for change. Wednesday well . . . we will see what happens and on Thursday Kitty is off home.’

  ‘Yes, I have to get back, I still have not settled on a new job.’

  Laura, who had blown up so quickly, was now beginning to calm. ‘Sorry, Kitty, it’s just that I don’t wish to see you getting hurt. That man doesn’t care who he wounds.’

  Kitty smiled. ‘Know something, Laura, I’m a big girl now and no one takes me for a hurl.’

  Felix was reading his morning paper in the foyer of the hotel when Mike came in, and when he saw him he went over and, offering his hand, he said, ‘I think that you may be Felix Martin?’
Felix nodded. ‘I am Mike Bailey, Laura’s husband.’

  ‘I see. Sorry if I upset your wife yesterday. I do know that by doing my job I appear to be immune to people’s suffering. Not the case.’ Felix then indicated the chair adjacent to his and signalled that Mike should sit down. When he was seated Mike passed over a letter from Kitty to Felix. After reading the letter Felix nodded. Looking out of the window at the brilliant sunny morning, Felix mused. To Mike’s surprise he then said, ‘Don’t suppose you have time to play some golf this afternoon?’

  Thursday morning arrived all too soon. Mike was driving Kitty to the station. Laura, who had boarders to attend to, had to say goodbye to Kitty at the door.

  ‘Kitty, please be careful. Your happiness means so much to me. I just don’t want you humiliated again like you were by Dougal McNeill.’

  ‘Laura, I am all the adult that I will ever be. I probably will never ever see Felix Martin again. After all, I did only meet him again last week. Now what you should be doing is looking after yourself and preparing for your baby coming. I will try and get back down to see you nearer your time. It will all depend on what job I get and where I get it.’

  The young women embraced and both were near to tears. Mike, leaning over from the driver’s seat and shouting, ‘Kitty, if you don’t get a move on you’ll miss the train,’ caused Kitty to quickly release Laura before jumping into the passenger seat.

  As they travelled along Mike did most of the chatting and he was just asking Kitty how Connie was doing when Kitty’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘Oh thank you for reminding me. I used your phone last night to speak to Connie. They have a telephone in the house now because my dad needs one for his constituency business.’ She rummaged in her bag until she found her purse and fished out a half crown. ‘That should cover the charge.’

  ‘I think that’s too much.’

  ‘Believe me it was worth four times that just to hear Connie tell me that she is back in love with my dad again.’

  ‘Everything fine then?’

  ‘Until the next crisis.’ Kitty giggled, before adding, ‘Believe it or not I was just saying to Aunt Kate, who lives on a knife edge with her three children, that we do get rocky times but we always manage to pull together and get through them.’