Deathtrap (Crossbreed Series Book 3)
Page 33
He swept a lock of hair away from my eyes. “There’s no one moment I can give you. Sometimes when we’re at the table, I tune everything out and listen to the sound of your heart beating inside your chest. I can’t help myself. You’re an addiction I’ve never known before.”
“I’m also a crossbreed.”
“I’ve come to terms with that. Have you? Because I think it’s time you realize how remarkable your Vampire nature is. The part of you that you’re afraid of is the part that draws me nearer to you.”
My breath caught. “Why are you saying all this? Getting a compliment out of you is like pulling teeth.”
Instant regret flashed in his eyes.
“Wait a minute. I know what’s going on here. You’re going to scrub my memory, aren’t you?” I pushed him away, putting distance between us. “You can’t just write all over me like a chalkboard and erase whatever you say. I don’t want you in my head.”
“You can’t remember any of this, Raven.”
“You gave me your word you’d never fuck with my head again. This isn’t like the last time; I’m not going to walk away from my job because of this attraction between us.”
“It’s already changed things, but I had to get it off my chest. I can make this conversation disappear so it won’t vex you. Do you really think we can work together after this?”
I shrugged. “I can.”
He wiped his hand down his mouth. “I don’t know what the feck I’m doing. I get all soft when I see a woman weeping over her mother’s grave.”
“Don’t pretend like you said any of this because you felt sorry for me.” I looked right at him, but he avoided eye contact. “I thought we were going to be honest with each other?”
“If you remember this conversation, you’ll regret it.”
We both stood still as the wind blew. Christian was guarded with his emotions, and not being able to scrub my memory of his admission must have been a painful blow to his ego. But if this Vampire was willing to admit he felt something for me, then maybe he needed more than my silence or reproach. “If you’re afraid that your feelings are just a one-way street, they’re not.”
His eyes darted up.
“I don’t really know what this is, but I feel something for you I’ve never felt with another man. It’s the same feeling like when we jumped off that bridge. Fear, excitement, and not being in control of what’s going to happen. Maybe it’s because we’re more alike than different, or maybe it’s because you don’t get mad when I play jokes on you. I have strong feelings for you, Christian. Feelings that could go somewhere. But…”
“But?”
“A man will have to conquer my heart if he wants it. There’s no halfway with me. That’s how people get hurt. I can’t commit to someone who isn’t sure how he feels about me or how far he’s willing to go. That’s what happened to my parents. Commitment isn’t a norm in my life, and clearly it’s not in yours. Having feelings is one thing, but you’re not ready, and you probably never will be. I’m not even sure if I’m capable of that kind of love. But I’m not going to hold it against you. Let’s not forget this. Let’s just see where it goes and try to get through it without hurting each other.”
“That’s the saddest oath I’ve ever heard.”
I gave him a mirthless smile. “We’re immortal, so marriage isn’t exactly the endgame.”
“And why not?”
“Do you really think you can spend an eternity with just one person? And besides, I’ll never marry someone who doesn’t ask for my father’s permission.”
Christian cocked his head to the side. “Your da isn’t getting any younger. Not to mention he thinks you’re dead.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“You’re making bold assumptions about me, Raven. I never said I wanted to marry you.”
“Then what do you want?”
His eyes darkened. “It’s what I don’t want. I don’t want to see you with another man. I don’t want anyone else to taste your blood, to kiss your lips or put his hands on your body. I don’t want you to look at anyone else with the same look that you’re giving me right now.”
I gave it a little thought. I’d never considered myself a traditional girl by any means, and this was a new journey I was embarking on with its own set of rules. “I can live with that.”
He shook his head and took a step forward. “You deserve better. You should find yourself a good man, not one with a wounded heart made of stone.”
I huffed out a laugh. “What would a good man want with a woman who’s killed for sport? Don’t try so hard to talk me out of this. What are you so afraid of? That I’ll find out you’re not a man who just sees women as sex objects? A man who’s repeatedly saved my life can’t be all bad.”
“Aye, my heart has always been my weakness. But make no mistake, Raven. I’m a cold man. I’m broken beyond repair. There are things I have done in my life that no woman could overlook. I’m far too rough around the edges for anyone’s liking, and I’m cynical. I’ve seen love ruin men, and I’ve never had much luck with it myself. You don’t really know me like you think you do. I’m too dark for anyone to love.”
“Let’s not have a contest on who has the blacker soul. I might actually win.”
My hair whipped wildly around me.
Christian gathered it together and tucked it behind my ears before cradling my neck. “What do you ask of me?”
I placed my hand on his heart. “Be honest. That’s all I want.”
“Aye, Precious. You have my truth. But we have to keep this between us. Viktor won’t take kindly to a relationship brewing; it’s against his rules.”
“I’ll agree to that. No sense in getting fired.” I smiled softly. “Who does this before sex? Declares all these intense feelings? We might not even like each other in bed.”
A dark hunger flickered in his eyes, and his voice became rough and sexy. “The things I’ll do to you will make your ancestors blush. There’s a nice spot over your grave if you want to test me.”
I leaned in and kissed his mouth. “The mausoleum is warmer.”
“I’ll pass. I’ve developed a sudden appreciation for abstinence.”
“Does that mean our relationship will be sexless?”
He smiled against my mouth, giving me tingles in all the right places. “Perhaps I’ll wait until you want it more than I do.”
I slipped my tongue between his lips and abruptly backed away, leaving him wanting. “I’ll accept that challenge.”
Once I climbed down the statue and hopped to the ground, I realized we could make up the rules as we went along. I couldn’t give Christian words of love since they weren’t all there yet, but I could give him hope. In return, he gave me butterflies. He gave me companionship. He sometimes gave me coffee in the morning. And most of all, he gave me his heart on a chain. Maybe sooner or later he’d give me a broken heart and a reason to leave Keystone, but I was willing to take the risk.
Christian jumped straight from the roof to the ground and then fell in step beside me. “You’re not a jealous woman, are you?”
“We’ve never had sex, so I hardly have claim on anything. Maybe I’m just as skeptical about this whole thing as you are.”
He clasped his hands behind his back. “You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met.”
I snorted. “This is so us. Declaring our feelings in a cemetery.”
He bumped shoulders with me. “And you thought I wasn’t romantic.”
“What I can’t figure out is why you would spend a million dollars on a necklace when you’re walking around with holes in your sweaters.”
“It adds to the mystique.”
Tiny snowflakes began to fall, and it felt like we were caught inside a snow globe after someone had violently shaken it.
“This weather can’t seem to make up its mind,” I said.
“That’s why they call Mother Nature a woman.”
“And Father Time drags his ass like a man?” I watched our
footsteps fall in sync. “I really don’t know a thing about you, Christian Poe. What’s your favorite color?”
“Red.”
“Dripping from the neck of your victim?”
“There’s a lovely little vein on the groin I find most delicious. What makes your mouth water?”
I grinned, my stomach growling. “Angus burger with extra cheese and a milkshake.”
“Don’t forget the onion rings.”
I hooked my arm in his. “Come on, Vamp. You’re buying me dinner.”
He squinted at the setting sun. “So… exactly what are we?”
“Why do we need a label? We’re partners. Maybe prospective lovers.”
“We’re like two savages in the night.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Christian began to recite a poem:
“Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.”
Maybe it would have been easier to have erased his confession, but I needed to see what was possible. I was certain I had an impenetrable heart that would survive what became of us, but life was about taking chances… even if they turned into regrets.
Ancient souls below our feet cried out for us to live and seize the day.
I gazed up at him. “That’s a depressing poem. How did I ever fall for such a morose guy?”
He stopped in his tracks. “You fell?”
I gave him a fragile smile. “Falling. I’m still falling.”
Christian wrapped his arms around me. “Then I’ll catch you.”
Dedication
For Louise.
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The Mageri books are a complete series. Read more about Christian’s past and other surprising secrets. Bingeable!
Sterling
Twist
Impulse
Gravity
Shine
Risk
The Gift
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THE MAGERI SERIES is an exciting urban fantasy romance about a young woman's claim to immortality. Passionate, humorous, dark, and full of unpredictable twists, the Mageri series will take you on an unforgettable journey of love, friendship, and the hidden power within us all. Cliffhanger-free.
THE SEVEN SERIES is a paranormal romance that portrays Shifters living in secret in the modern world. A blend of humor, heartwarming romance, drama, and real-life issues. This series is for those who believe in family, second chances, and finding that person who completes you. Cliffhanger-free.
THE CROSSBREED SERIES is a new Urban Fantasy Romance following a rogue who is half-Vampire, half-Mage. Caught between two worlds, she joins forces with a secret organization that takes down criminals. Will desire become her biggest distraction when she is paired up with a Vampire?
Note: All my fantasy stories are written in the same universe. Same Breeds, same rules, and may contain character crossovers/appearances.
Sometimes ordinary people are destined for extraordinary lives.
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Books by Dannika Dark:
THE MAGERI SERIES
Sterling
Twist
Impulse
Gravity
Shine
The Gift
MAGERI WORLD
Risk
NOVELLAS
Closer
THE SEVEN SERIES
Seven Years
Six Months
Five Weeks
Four Days
Three Hours
Two Minutes
One Second
Winter Moon
SEVEN WORLD
Charming
THE CROSSBREED SERIES
Keystone
Ravenheart
Deathtrap
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