Keep the Faith (Bulletproof Series 1.5)

by J. L. Baldwin

  I don’t want people to think we are just leaving it up to the police, which would be the smarter decision but that’s just not how I function. Looking around the office, Jayde’s rightful place, our father’s kingdom, pride washes over me at what they’ve built together. Our father laid the building blocks to start but Jayde finished off the final layers which made this business evolve into what it is today. Sure, the building can use some touch ups and the staff could be a little bit more bustling, but with all the recent events, we’re all a little taken back.

  Pulling out the article on the growing popularity of dating apps, I do a quick run through, not even paying that much attention to it before emailing it off to the editor. He’ll figure out whatever kinks need to be fixed in it. Since I’m momentarily distracted by my computer, I don’t even hear my phone go off or the next noise of Zac busting through the door of the paper, making me jump up out of my seat in surprise.

  “Sarah! I tried calling you a dozen times,” he says out of breath. The man is a wreck, based on his clothes. It’s very noticeable he hasn’t showered in days and his eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep.

  “Zac, can’t you see I’m trying to help run a paper here? What’s going on?” I ask, hope filling my voice that he found something leading to finding Jayde.

  “Sarah, I got nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. It’s like she’s fallen off the face of the earth. I don’t know what else to do,” Zac says, collapsing into a chair and it’s for the first time since meeting this strong, dominating and genuine man that I notice he looks defeated, beat up and has just zero hope for anything. My heart breaks for him. Zac blames himself for everything that has happened. He won’t admit it, but it’s written all over his face.

  “Zachariah Marshall! Do you have any idea what Jayde must be feeling right now? I know she is scared and feeling like nobody is coming to find her. All hope is not lost. We will find her, but you have to pull yourself together and get a grip! Nobody is going to lose anyone here. Now, it’s strange enough with me being the voice of reason but for god’s sake, let’s keep it together and channel all this unnecessary energy into finding Jayde. I don’t want to miss anything. I already had my meltdown, Anna had hers and you just had yours. So no more crying, we’re going to find Jayde and bring her home.”

  Zac doesn’t look up at me for the longest while, but I know he heard what I said due to the fact he won’t meet my gaze. If I learned anything from this man, it’s that he hears you but won’t look you in the eye since he’s trying to digest everything you just said.

  “You’re right,” he finally says. “I’ve been feeling sorry for myself this whole fucking time, blaming myself for her disappearance and what do I have to show for it? Nothing, because I’m nothing but a giant pussy who thinks of nobody but himself instead of the woman I love.” It’s then he meets my gaze, and I feel my heartstrings pull at the love in his eyes for my sister.

  “I love Jayde more than any woman I’ve ever met in my entire life. She has woken up something in me I’ve never felt before. Maybe it was fate I ran into her on the beach that day. She is the light to my darkness. When I can’t sleep at night, or I wake up from a terrible night terror, all I have to do is look at her picture and everything is right in the world again. Sarah, your sister is my soulmate. That was a term I never used to like, but since I met her, it all makes sense.”

  Now it was my turn to cry and not from Jayde being gone, but from his beautiful words about my sister. My beautiful baby sister has this wonderful man to come back to. I must say I’m a little envious right now. Zac stands up and pulls me into a tight hug and I lose it once more. Crying into his chest, I let the comfort of his warmth wash over me. Now I have a sense of what Jayde must feel when she’s in his arms, safe, secure and warm. Leo strikes me as that type of person. Hard and soft at the same time. Or maybe that’s my hope talking for me.

  Letting me go, he rubs my arms up and down to try and calm me. “Feel better?”

  “Yeah, I do. I can only hold my strength for a short period of time before it falters. I’m such a mess,” I say laughing.

  Zac smiles brightly. “Nah, you’re not a mess. I’m the fucking mess, sweetheart. But no, not you.” We size up each other’s messy lives and before we know it, we’re laughing hysterically at the sheer ridiculousness of how we’re acting.

  “Do you believe Jayde knows we’re looking for her?” I ask. Part of me fears she has given up hope to us ever finding her and that thought shakes me to the core.

  “I know she is. Jayde is a fighter, she won’t give up that easily,” Zac reassures me. Nodding in understanding, I look around the office and the majority have cleared out for the day. Glancing over at the clock, it reads after five in the evening.

  “Oh shit, it’s after five. I didn’t realize the time,” I say surprised. Zac looks around too and chuckles. “Looks like our meltdowns scared them all off. Except for Anna who is sitting over at her desk, lost in a daze, probably thinking about Ryder and Ronan’s cocks and how hot of a threesome it would be with those two.”

  Anna turns suddenly and hits Zac with a demon glare then yells from across the way. “Asshole! I hate you,” she says but when I look over, she’s redder than a freshly painted barn which only confirms Zac’s accusations. She is thinking about having a hot as fuck threesome with the Falcon brothers.

  I look at him surprised when what he said finally registers. “You know them?” He smiles with a nod. “Of course I do, we go way back to our rookie days. Ryder wanted to take the high road and work for the federal government where I wanted to stick with the smaller route and just be a private detective. It paid off because I got Jayde out of it,” he says. “And I should let you know, you would be best to warn Anna what she’s getting into with those two. Ronan may seem sweet as can be but he is so much more like his brother than he cares to admit. Ryder, well, let’s just say he taught me a few tricks. One of their main kinks is they like to share their women. I once heard a story of one girl Ronan was dating and Ryder stepped in one evening and fucked her senseless, while he watched. They’re freaks, and trust me when I say they give me a run for my money when it comes to doing the nasty.”

  I swallow nervously. Telling Anna would be the smart solution but I don’t want to step into her business. She’s torn up enough as it is.

  “What else are they into?” I ask hoping I like the answer he gives me.

  Zac smiles a Cheshire cat grin. “Toys, all sorts of toys. Whips, floggers, butt plugs, vibrators, you name it, they’re into it. Role-playing is another one of their kinks. Hey, it’s mine too but they’re into it just as hard,” he says with a wink. My face must match Anna’s because I can’t stop staring. As much as I don’t want to hear about this, I need to. I wonder if Leo is into that stuff too.

  “Hell, I heard they belong to this BDSM club just down the street, The Lair. It’s one of those clubs you don’t go in-to unless you’re on the prowl for a good time. All I’m saying is, Ronan plays up the good boy routine to get women into bed, and then Ryder comes in for the kill. How those lucky bastards got the jobs they have, I’ll never know.”

  Zac leans in and places a chaste kiss on my forehead. “I need to get back to the office. You take care of yourself and I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I nod and he smiles once more before walking out. The only people left are myself, Anna and Gwen. They both look up at me at the exact same time, probably guessing what I’m currently thinking. Anna is probably right, maybe we are missing something.

  Chapter 14

  Anna

  The blank word document stares back at me in mock amusement. Sarah had the nerve to talk to him, and all I could do was blubber like an idiot. The only measly thing I said to Ryder came out like a pansy and I sounded weak. But, I’m allowed to be weak in a situation like this, right?! I should be. Ryder’s reaction though. I don’t know how the hell to gauge that look he gave me.

  When Zac came into the office, I couldn’t help but overhear h
is conversation with Sarah. After his breakdown on her, his next brand of conversation had me practically falling out of my chair from leaning in to listen. They’re freaks? Ronan is super sweet, or so I thought. Ryder strikes me as that type of tough guy exterior, but Ronan is like that too? Granted I don’t know him all that well, but damn. One of the things Zac said that stuck out to me the most was the little itty bitty fact they like to share their women?! Holy mother of Jesus, what a girl can’t do with that information?! Ryder’s card sits on my desk and it’s the only thing my eyes seem to focus on. Sarah walks over to me and winks before continuing on into the back room. “Hey, I need help,” I say in a weak voice.

  “That’s the understatement of the year,” Sarah jokes making me shoot a glare her way but she can’t see it. “Smartass, I’m being serious,” I say in a sharper tone. Sarah laughs then walks back out holding a bottled water. “What is it?” She asks, scooting up onto the wooden desk and crossing her legs. Should I tell her what is on my mind? Would that make me a terrible friend if I told her that I can’t concentrate because of Gwen’s brothers?

  “Ahh, I see,” she assumes with a smile. Cocking my head to the side, I gauge her reaction.

  “You like both the Falcon brothers, don’t you? Ronan is sweet and tender but Ryder is rough and wild. Or from what I’ve learned about them,” Gwen makes a gagging sound from behind us causing us to turn in her direction.

  “Y’all, those are my big brothers. Don’t go grossing me out now,” she says, returning to her desk carrying a cup of coffee and a manila folder. The sweet aroma of the caffeinated beverage hits my nostrils and makes me envious. Coffee is what I need. Lots of fucking coffee to numb these feelings. Not as good as vodka, but being at work doesn’t give me too many options.

  “Sarah! What do I do? I don’t know if I should go for it with everything going on or what but I know nobody has affected me the way those two do. Damn it all,” I yell in frustration.

  “Your guess is as good as mine, Anna. I know Jayde would want you to be happy and to live your life the way you normally would if she were here. Being her sister and sharing that bond, I know that’s exactly what she would want. So in my opinion, you should go for it. One of my favorite quotes is ‘shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars,’ ” Sarah says and I smile.

  “Norman Vincent Peale?” I ask, giving her a side glance. Sarah nods proudly. “Jayde isn’t the only one who has picked up a book or two. I’ve been known to be my own little bookworm. Where Jayde reads smutty romance, I read non-fiction,” Sarah says smiling.

  “Oh I know. I remember you attempting to drill your knowledge into my brain the times I was over at your house and it didn’t work.” Sarah shoves me gently but giggles.

  “You were always a stubborn one, just like Jayde.” She says with amusement filling her voice.

  Jayde would agree with Sarah if she were here. It’s no wonder her and I always got along so well. We’re both stubborn as mules, her dad used to say. It was one of the many things I loved about him. Sarah nudges me playfully and for the first time in a very long time, I miss their dad. Hank always kept me level headed. Even though I had my own father, he was the final glue who kept me sane.

  “Daddy would be so proud of you, Anna. He always said you were like his own flesh and blood,” Sarah says to me proudly, making my heart swell with emotion.

  “I hope so. Your father was like my own at times and he always kept me sane. For that, I’ll forever be grateful to him.” Sarah smiles proudly before hopping down off the desk and straightening her skirt.

  “I have to go check in with the café in the morning to see how poorly they are doing without me. Want to tag along?” Sarah asks me. I hate when she tempts me with that delicious brew and those sinfully delicious pastries. My pants are already getting tight on me from all the emotional eating I’ve done since Jayde went missing. It’s one way to cope, that’s for sure.

  “Sure, you can count me in. I’ll put Gwen in charge for tomorrow morning. I’m sure she will accept when I bribe her with a banana nut muffin and a skinny vanilla latte,” I say with a laugh. Gwen was a downhome country girl to the roots and loved her southern pastries just the same. Looking around the newspaper floor, my mind is a buzz with activity. Ryder’s card still sits glued to my desk and it takes all my power to pick it up. Sarah looks from the card to me and smiles. “Do I need to give you the same speech I gave to Jayde when she was hesitant about Zac? I don’t want to, but I will if need be.” Sarah was always good with speeches, where I was never good at listening to them. In this case, I very well may listen for once.

  “No, you don’t need to give me the speech. I know what I’m going to do.” With that finality, I slip the card into my purse without looking at it further. Having a romantic interest right now would be bad. I can’t risk anything happening while we’re looking for Jayde. It would make me a terrible friend if I was selfish like that.

  “Alright y’all, I’m heading out before you gross me out more talking about my brothers. See ya tomorrow ladies!” Gwen waves goodbye to both of us and makes her escape out the door. Glancing at the clock, it’s now after seven and I groan. Without realizing it, we’ve been sitting here talking for two hours. Sarah starts to turn all the lights off and the only remaining lights are on both of our desks.

  “Let’s go back to my place, grab some wine and watch Disney movies for old time’s sake. Jayde would be happy for that,” Sarah says smiling brightly. We never admitted it to Jayde but we both secretly hated Frozen, which was one of her favorites. But now I’m feeling like watching it.

  “If only we can watch Frozen,” I say, turning off the remaining lights. Sarah nods. “I was just thinking the same thing.” Great minds do think alike.

  Chapter 15

  Sarah

  The very next day, when we could have had horrible hangovers and snowman dream regrets, we didn’t. The night was calm and relaxing, just as it would have been if Jayde were here. In a weird and psychological way, she was. I could feel her presence. Not in a paranormal sense, but in the sense she was there. I know, it’s rather difficult to explain. Anna would not stop talking throughout the entire movie, and it was her idea to watch the damn thing. I woke up in my own bed this morning where I don’t remember getting into it to begin with. Glancing at the clock, I see it’s after ten and panic mode immediately sets in. Fuck, we’re late for work!

  Running into the living room, I see Anna is still passed out on the couch. The empty wine bottles and one lonely vodka bottle litter the living room floor. “Anna! Anna get your ass up! We’re late for work!” She groans and mumbles something incoherently that I don’t catch.

  “Come on, we’re late. It’s after ten!” I say rushing back into my bedroom to get dressed. There’s no time for showers so we have to make due with some cheap perfume. I hear an “oh shit” coming from the living room then footsteps rush to the other bathroom and I only assume Anna has heeded my warning and is getting ready.

  “We are so screwed!” Anna yells as she runs back into the living room to clean up the remnants of our party last night.

  “Yeah, but there is no time for cleaning. We have to go now.” I say, grabbing my briefcase and purse before sprinting for the door.

  “Anna, come on,” I say and she nods. “Alright, I’m coming.” Before Anna can make her happy ass down the stairs, my phone buzzes with an incoming text. It’s Leo. Good lord, what does he want? My heart skips a beat just watching his name flash on the screen.

  “Who texted you?” Anna asks when she finally meets me at the door, all put together like she didn’t get drunk off her ass last night. How the hell is she able to do that?

  “It’s Leo.” I read the text then groan. “Ugh, he wants me to come in to help out. Something about taking inventory and Phoebe is nowhere to be found.”

  Anna smirks then grabs her purse off the table in the hallway. “You go on into the café, and I’ll head to the paper. I have to get
a hold of Zac anyways and see what’s going on with the search. You go get your sexy café barista boy. I’ll take a cab to the paper,” Anna suggests and before I can protest, she’s out the door in a flash. Goddamn-it. Phoebe told me to take a break from that place but I guess one little visit wouldn’t hurt.

  Making my way down-town to the café, I pass by the shop Anna told me belongs to Zac’s grandmother. The little shop was adorable with its downhome country feeling. I make a note to stop there one day this week. Pulling up to the café, the place looks empty. Looking at the clock, it’s just after eleven which marks the beginning of lunchtime. This place should be full of customers right now. Did I read Leo’s text wrong? I double check it and sure enough, there in plain text was: “Need to count inventory and I can’t find my cousin and you’re the only other one allowed to count inventory.” There was no way I could say no to that. I get in my usual parking spot, and get up to the front. It’s very quiet. The thought crosses my mind that somebody had stolen Leo’s phone and lured me here into a trap. Get it together, Sarah. Stop binge watching those crime shows on Netflix for crying out loud, you’re losing it. But, after everything that has happened, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched. Testing the door knob, it opens easily which strikes me as odd. I tiptoe inside, trying to keep as quiet as a mouse. The whole store is dark which is another red flag.

  A rustle from beneath the counter puts me on high alert. My keys are still in my hand along with the pepper spray I picked up not too long ago. I have it aimed and ready to attack the trespasser who might be back there. A minute later, a head pops up making me drop my keys with a gasp.

  “Hey, oh sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I should have turned more lights on,” Leo says, sitting a box of coffee stirs on the counter. “I’ve already gotten started, there’s about a thousand stirrers divided between about ten boxes. We should be good on those for a while.” I can’t say a word because I can’t stop staring. He mentioned something about coffee stirrers but that’s not what has me on guard. It’s the fact he’s wearing a tight black tee and somewhat tight denim jeans. Not too tight but holy fuck are they tight enough. He’s wearing cowboy boots and a backwards Los Angeles Angels baseball cap.