Just for Appearances

by Jenna Rutland

  “I assure you, I’m the most dependable person you could find,” he said quietly. “I’ll be here bright and early each morning. Don’t confuse me with the kid you used to know. I’m available if you need me here evenings or weekends, too.”

  She gulped as the words “available” and “need me” seemed to dissolve and take a sensuous slide down her body.

  His handsome face looked down at hers. “I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t had the time to date much since my divorce. And one-nighters and the bar scene have never been my style,” he revealed.

  Yow. She had barely recovered from her thoughts of him being at her house evenings and weekends when the mention of one-nighters ignited her on the rebound. A fleeting image of their one incredible night hiked her pulse and heated her face.

  He slanted his head and narrowed his gaze. “I have to wonder myself about your personal life. All I know from my mom is that you’re divorced. I’m curious about their father. Will I have any contact with him? Or how about any jealous boyfriends?”

  He seemed to be enjoying his turn at cross-examination. She ran the back of her forearm across her damp forehead. Had it ever been this hot in May before? Definitely not in her backyard. “Their father lives out of the country,” she explained. “He makes an occasional appearance when he’s not hopping from coast to coast.”

  He studied her for a moment as if waiting for her to explain about her boyfriends, but she wasn’t willing to share that she had had none for years. She’d let him wonder. In an attempt to sway the conversation to safer topics, she ended the conversation with one last question as they neared the driveway. “Well, um, anything else you’d like to know?”

  He aimed those incredible blue eyes in her direction. A hint of a smile adorned his face. His voice revealed his enthusiasm when he replied, “Quite a bit, actually, but sometimes a guy wants to find out some things on his own.” He headed toward his shiny black pickup as he called over his shoulder, “Let me know if we have a deal.” He gave a quick wave and jumped into his truck.

  …

  Dumbfounded didn’t begin to describe John’s surprise at Rachel’s phone call. Sure, he expected her to call, because she said she would, but merely to tell him a polite “thanks but no thanks.” Instead she had accepted his offer. It had to be tough on her to raise three young children alone. They seemed like good kids, well-mannered and respectful, but the role of mother must consume all her time. Now with her new job, he could imagine how much more stressful her life would become, and he welcomed the chance to remove some of her burden.

  But if her children were anything like their mother, he’d have to be careful not to become too invested. He’d have to keep reminding himself that he was only in town for a few months.

  What about the boys’ father? What kind of a jerk would walk away from a beautiful woman and three adorable kids? An entire family.

  He winced. He had walked away from a wife once. But their union had all been a lie, and there were no children involved.

  Three days later, on the afternoon of Memorial Day, he once again pulled his truck onto her gravel driveway. As his truck rolled to a stop, she ambled toward him. Her hips swayed with each step, and he was mesmerized. Her hands fidgeted with her hair, then her belt, and finally rested at her sides. In jean shorts and a patriotic-colored T-shirt that did a poor job of hiding her feminine curves, he studied her for a moment. Hopefully the dark sunglasses he wore concealed his eyes as he admired her body. He took a deep breath. What an incredible sight. Tall and graceful, slender and seductive. A woman’s body. Not the body he remembered. All those years ago, she’d been beautiful but still a young woman. Now, her body had transformed. There was a softness about her, a maturity that was both sexy and strong. He couldn’t ignore the magnetism that raced between them, the same physical pull that had always been present.

  Would the spark she ignited in him go away? Probably not. In all likelihood, it would intensify the more time they spent together. She was gorgeous. No question about it. He doubted she realized how sexy she looked. He liked that. A lot. Too much, he supposed. The last thing she needed was a replica of her ex-husband, a guy who came and went in her life. John’s future hopefully involved a lot of traveling. She and her kids needed stability, which he was unable to provide.

  Before his mind wandered further and his pants completely cut off his circulation, he stopped his inspection. He grabbed a blue gym bag from the passenger seat and jumped out of the truck.

  She stopped. He studied her face, then searched the chocolate-brown eyes that greeted him, her nearness overwhelming. “Thanks for the invitation.”

  “You’re welcome.” She flashed him a brief smile. “I thought today would give you guys a chance to spend some time together before I start work tomorrow. I’ll show you around and give you sort of an in-service.” She peered down at the ground and toed the gravel with her sandal. “I have an extra key to the house for you. Remind me to give it to you before you leave.”

  “Sounds good. I hope it’s okay that I brought my swimming trunks.” He motioned to his bag. “I figured I could keep the boys occupied in the pool.” Would she be interested in swimming with them? Could be an interesting afternoon. He refused to allow his imagination to dwell on the thought of her in a bathing suit.

  “I’m sure they’d enjoy the water after their ball game,” she said with a nod toward the field.

  He walked a few steps closer. “I’m glad you called, Einstein.” His tone was gentle as he tried to ease her apparent nervousness. “I’m here to help you in any way I can.”

  “Oh, well, I uh…needless to say, the kids are ecstatic you’ll be with them for the summer.” And what about her? Was she ecstatic?

  “We’ll have a great time. Rest assured that while you’re at work, I’ll take care of everything.” Hell, could he pull it off? The notion that he could help her pleased him. It also confused the hell out of him. He felt a strange comfort, an indefinable feeling of rightness.

  He placed his bag on a lawn chair and threw a quick wink in her direction before heading toward the ball game.

  Chapter Three

  Rachel stared at John’s departing backside. A shiver of desire coursed through her body. Her heart beat erratically against her ribs. She tried—unsuccessfully—to deny the tingling knot that formed in her stomach. She had adored him since the first time they were introduced.

  “Ah, I see Mr. Nanny is here,” Carol said, the amusement obvious in her voice. “Think you’ll stare at him all day, or could you help me with this video camera?” she asked as she held up her recent Mother’s Day gift from Rachel and the boys. Even though she wasn’t her mother, Carol was a huge part of their lives. She liked to take pictures and would never have bought a video camera for herself. Rachel had saved for a while to buy her special friend the perfect gift.

  She responded with an annoyed smirk. “Very funny.” She took the camera out of Carol’s hands and sighed. “I wonder if this whole thing is such a good idea.”

  Carol shook her head. “Honey, we’ve discussed this all weekend. You know he’s a good man. The boys will have a wonderful summer—much more fun than anyone you interviewed.”

  “I know.” Rachel sighed. Yes, she had complete confidence John MacDonald was a trustworthy man. At least with her children. What impact he would have on her, she didn’t have a clue. “I just don’t want to become dependent on him.”

  “Why would that be so bad?”

  With a pensive stare over Carol’s shoulder, Rachel scanned the area where the boys played ball. In the middle of the activity, John helped a couple of the smaller boys, demonstrating how to swing the bat. Even from that distance, it was easy to see that his gentleness and excitement were genuine. He seemed to enjoy working with kids, and the kids responded positively to his enthusiasm.

  “Because if I become dependent on him, before you know it I’ll start needing him. And if I need him, well, that would be unacceptable.” As one worry ea
sed from her mind, another jumped in to take its place. “Carol, what if the boys become too attached to him? Wouldn’t it be cruel to introduce someone into their lives, let them become emotionally wrapped up in him, only to rip him out of their world? Because that’s exactly what will happen. They go back to school, and he walks out of their lives,” she argued. “How can I do that to them?”

  “It could happen with anyone, dear, whether the person is a man or a woman,” she said. “People will come and go in their lives, Rachel. To expose them to a decent, wonderful man can be a positive experience. They’ll learn a lot from him. Things that’ll stay with them their whole lives. Yes, I’m sure it’ll be hard for them when he leaves, but what they’ll be left with will be priceless.”

  But what would she be left with? Another broken heart? No. Even though she had a history with this man and they would spend some time together, she would have to limit that time. She promised herself that she wouldn’t let a deeper relationship form. No matter how intense the pull toward him, she would refuse intimacy. It cost her too much before, and she wasn’t willing to pay again. Remembering the pain was the key to protecting herself from future heartache.

  As a way of making some extra money to help pay her college tuition, Rachel had put her name on a list of potential tutors when she was a freshman at the local college. John’s father had hired her to help his son get his grades up in order to continue his high school football career—something that she’d learned was vital to his father. As she and John had spent more and more time together, they’d fallen in love. He’d asked her to his junior prom, which she’d been thrilled to attend, and for the first—and only—time that night they’d expressed their feelings for each other with more than words. They’d been each other’s first lovers.

  She was shocked when his father had visited her the next day. John had talked to his father about playing for the University of Michigan instead of the University of Southern California to stay closer to home, so the man had known they were more than tutor and student. She’d been shocked when he’d arrived unannounced, questioning her about her feelings for his son. Without thought, she’d admitted how much they were in love. His father had insisted that no amount of teenage hormones would keep his son from achieving the football career he deserved. He’d demanded that she put her feelings aside and convince John to leave for California to complete his senior year in the town where he’d go on to play college football and have the best chance of getting noticed by the NFL. She’d loved him enough to want him to excel at his dream, so she’d found the right words to send him away, telling him her feelings didn’t run deep enough for him to bother staying in town—even though it’d been a horrible lie. And now? He was the last thing she needed. A temporary guy to wreak havoc on her emotions and churn up unwanted, unneeded desires? No thanks. Her goal was to learn her job and do what she could to give her kids a decent summer. Her sons would take pleasure in his company during the next few months, no doubt about it. If it was in their best interest to be with him, she could ignore her skepticism in letting this man into her life again. She’d learn to control her agitation in asking for help—his help in particular—with their care. But she would never, ever let him into her heart.

  Quitting her new job and shoving John away wasn’t an option, as tempting as it might be. Her need to get out from underneath her ex-husband Greg’s financial grasp was so much greater than awkward encounters with her ex. Sure, Greg would continue making child support payments, but it had been four years since their divorce. With Zak finally entering school, she no longer wanted alimony. She’d struggled to learn medical transcription while sacrificing her self-esteem each time she accepted Greg’s money. It gave him too much power in her life, and she wanted it to end. Greg provided the boys with material things—the pool and baseball diamond—but never gave himself. Which was pretty much the story of their marriage.

  For all these years of raising her sons, she’d been the only one making decisions. Every decision, every choice, was hers alone. No one to ask. Nothing to discuss. No one she needed to share everyday life with. Could she hand over some of her responsibilities to someone else? Especially to John?

  Good God, it was going to be a long, hot summer.

  …

  “Mommy, somebody’s knocking at the back door.”

  Rachel struggled to get her bearings, vaguely aware of Zak as he tapped on her arm. She dragged her head off the pillow and lifted it high enough to glance at the alarm clock.

  “Dammit. I mean…oh, my gosh. I overslept? I can’t believe it.” She shot off the bed to grab her robe, and avoided a near-collision with her son by an inch.

  “Mac’s here.” Zak barreled out of her room, then down the hall in response to the tapping at the door.

  Already? She hadn’t even showered yet. With a hasty brush of her hands through her hair to calm the untamed mess, she reached the back door as Zak yanked it open. John stood on the porch. He held a small bag of groceries and a brown cardboard tray with two steaming Styrofoam cups. His appearance resembled a kid on his first day of summer camp. He wore a white T-shirt that read Give Peas a Chance, faded blue denim shorts that graced his big, hard body, and white athletic shoes.

  He couldn’t have looked more adorable. Even if he wore a tux and carried roses. She gave that image a few seconds to materialize, then recalled how he’d looked in a tux. Heart-throbbingly gorgeous. “Good thing you’re here.” She cringed at the neediness in her voice. Too bad. She was behind schedule. She ushered him into the kitchen while she grabbed the front of her robe in an attempt at a small degree of modesty. She kicked the door shut behind him. “I overslept. I never oversleep. Maybe my alarm’s broken,” she rambled. “Maybe it went off, and I slept through it. I need to shower, pack my lunch, and make breakfast.” She detected amusement in the eyes that met hers.

  “Good morning to you, too.” He shot her a smile, then gave Zak a secret handshake they’d apparently developed the previous night. Zak tattled that his mom had used a bad word that morning. John laughed and offered her a Styrofoam cup. “Coffee?” he asked. Steam escaped through a miniature hole in the white plastic lid as he handed her the drink.

  “Mommy, can you make me breakfast? I’m starved. Can I have sunny eggs?” Zak asked.

  “We want scrambled,” the other two boys chimed as they entered the kitchen and plopped down at the table.

  “How about some cereal instead?” she asked hopefully. She glanced at the clock, then sighed. Things weren’t going well. Late for work on her first day. Great impression she’d make.

  John took control of the situation like a traffic cop at a busy intersection. He pointed his fingers in corresponding directions. “Tell you what,” he said. “You go take your shower, the kids will set the table, and I’ll make everyone breakfast. When you’re ready, breakfast will be, too. You can sit down and eat with the boys while I pack your lunch.” Inquiring eyebrows waited for her mother’s seal of approval.

  She stared first at him, then at her coffee cup, then back up at him. Where’d he get coffee? She hadn’t had time to even think about coffee yet. Now he wanted to make them all breakfast? He’d even brought groceries? What time had he gotten up?

  She held her hand up in a stop gesture and tried for her best smart-aleck smile. “I planned to make coffee, but someone knocked on my door before I could get it started,” she said. “I’m capable of making breakfast like I do every day. And why did you bring groceries? I thought we discussed that yesterday.”

  “I picked up coffee for you when I stopped for mine. If you don’t want it, no problem. I told you yesterday I’d help with the groceries, since I’d also be eating them. And I’ll take care of breakfast. I like to cook. It’s relaxing and a lot more fun when there’s more than one person eating.” His voice took on a sensuous tone. “I do have a large appetite,” he added.

  Did the man know he sounded like the big bad wolf? It was the first time she could ever recall wanting to
be Little Red Riding Hood.

  “Look, Rachel. I know you’re capable of making breakfast and buying groceries. I also know you’ll have less time now because of your job. All I want to do here is help you out a little.”

  Okay, so maybe she had overreacted. True, it was late, and he wanted to be of service. Was it his fault it bothered her to need his help? And that’s all it was. His help in exchange for getting the town to embrace his center. A simple case of scratching each other’s back. Nothing more.

  “All right.” She sighed. “You make breakfast, I’ll go shower.” She turned to head toward her bathroom. She looked back, raised her cup in a mock salute, and tried for a smile. “Thanks for the coffee.” There. Now that she’d summed up their roles, she could be civil. Polite. He wasn’t a love interest now and would never be.

  Thirty minutes later, she rushed into the kitchen, freshly showered, makeup and hair in place, dressed in slim black pants and a tailored shirt with a ruffled collar.

  Aaron spotted her first. “Wow, Mom, you look different.” Andrew voiced his agreement of his brother’s opinion.

  Zak had a different observation. “You’ve got colored junk all over your face, Mommy.” He scrunched up his nose, perplexed as to how and why she wore makeup.

  John snapped his head up then gawked in her direction. He let loose with a long, low wolf whistle.

  “Thanks, guys.” She shot a nervous little smile at him. She tugged on the neckline of her shirt. “Is this too low-cut?”

  Why ask them? What did her small boys know about women’s clothes? No doubt as much as she did. Zilch.

  The boys had already redirected their attention to the cartoons on the small kitchen TV, so John reassured her of her appearance.

  “Fabulous.” His gaze dropped from her face to slide down her body in a slow, seductive path. Was it her imagination, or did he let loose with a groan?

  Everywhere he looked, it felt like she had been touched. Hopefully, her newly applied bronzer hid the flush in her cheeks. Annoyance teased her as his admiration kicked up her pulse to beat double time.