Rules of the Ride: A Silver Star Ranch Novel

by Bellus, HJ

  “You know better, Maverik Slatter, you were and are the love of my life. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.”

  6

  Ella

  I was dead wrong thinking I’d be okay running into Maverik again. I stayed at Momma’s house last night and I did nothing but toss and turn in my bed remembering and feeling the taste of his lips on mine and the way he held me. No one has ever had the power to make me feel so safe with a simple clutch to the back. There’d been no better time in my life than the years I was with him.

  Maverik was my best friend growing up, and then one day we realized we were both madly in love with each other, and magic ignited the day our lips touched our freshmen year of high school. They say opposites attract, and we were living proof of it. Him, a rough and tough cowboy spurring horses in the rodeo, and then me, a small town girl with the bright city lights twinkling in her eye.

  Everything in my childhood room screams Maverik—from the pictures that still plaster the walls to his champion buckle laying on the top of my dresser. It’s as if my momma literally shut the door to this room the day I left and never opened it again. My lungs burn as I panic to find air as all the memories flood back in and I have to escape again.

  Fashion has always been my obsession, and growing up in a very small country town, boots and jeans were the only things accepted. The only person who truly appreciated my crazy dresses, tops, and very high heels was Maverik.

  The cold metal of my very first sewing machine pricks my skin as I run my hand over it, remembering all the different outfits I’d whip up and wear. Boy, did it make my momma pissed off when I’d come prancing out of my room in a risqué outfit to go to a local rodeo or high school football game. Looking back, I guess I lived to piss her off.

  The house is quiet and eerily punishing without my momma here. Pictures of her fighting cancer with her bald head and her friends surrounding her cover the walls along with all my childhood pictures. I stare at all of them from the dining room table in disbelief. It’s like she lived the rest of her life without missing a beat or trying to contact me.

  The contents of my stomach take a spin as I stare at her face and wish like hell she’d beat cancer, and it’s not so she’d be alive. It’s so I wouldn’t have to be back here and looking at her, even if it was in pictures.

  My phone goes off, causing me to lurch out of the chair and scream. It takes me several seconds to gather my thoughts before I can answer the phone.

  “Hello.” My fingers tremble around the edges of the phone.

  “Ella?”

  “Yes, this is she.”

  “Good morning, this is Darrell at the funeral home. I just wanted to touch base with you.”

  “About?”

  “Well, we need to meet sometime today to get things in line for your mother’s funeral.”

  “Um, I’m not picky. Just handle it please.”

  “I know this can be hard when you lose a loved one, but there’s some paperwork that needs to be signed off on, and you’re her next of kin.”

  There’s a long pause on the phone between the two of us as my mind races to find an answer or any excuse to get out of this.

  “How does two o’clock sound?”

  “Are you sure you really need me there?”

  “Yes, Ella. I’m sorry, but we do. I’ll have everything in order to make this as easy as possible for you.”

  “Okay.”

  “See you at two. Bye, Ella.”

  I end the call without saying bye and feel my belly take one last flip, forcing all the contents to burn at the back of my throat. My phone rings again and it’s the same number; a heated mixture of bile rises so high I can’t handle it anymore as I race to the bathroom and let it all go.

  Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I notice my reflection staring back at me in the mirror. Sprigs of blonde hair going in all sorts of directions, my doughy brown eyes that used to be full of hope staring back at me, my pale complexion, and just for a glimpse I see the young Ella staring back at me. The one who was madly in love with Maverik, had a hunger for life that couldn’t be curbed, had high ambitions, and an attitude that could conquer the most difficult of situations.

  I only see her stare back at me for a split second, and then she vanishes just like she did so many years ago.

  “That’s it,” I say out loud to an empty house. “I can’t handle this anymore.”

  I fly into my room and zip up my one carry-on bag and head for the door. I have to race back in to find the keys to my rental car. Even though the only hotel in town is a dump, I’d rather be there than surrounded by ghosts of my past and be reminded of every single dumb decision I ever made. When my own momma couldn’t even understand why I left, I don’t know why I’d think Maverik or anyone else from this one horse town could.

  My knuckles turn white as I grip the steering wheel, speeding down the main street of town. Old faces and places blur my vision, and I wonder why in the hell I even thought I could handle being back here.

  “Oh yeah, right, Ella, your own mother died.”

  I laugh at the words I spew and mostly at the comical tone in the words, and this is when I know I’ve officially flown off the deep end of life. When I can’t even dig up an ounce of sympathy for the woman who gave me life. Growing up, her mom, my wicked grandmother always would cackle and call me a spoiled-ass brat.

  Little did she know, I’d filled those shoes quite well. Running away from home and from the ones I loved via the Greyhound to live the big city life and not even return to hold my own mother’s hand when she was dying.

  My heart lightens a bit when I see the vacancy sign flashing next to the “Wagon Wheel Motel” and a sense of relief washes over me knowing I won’t have to stay in that house any longer. Now I just need to get past Chuck, who I also went to high school with. He now manages and runs the good ol’ Wagon Wheel since his dad passed. Yep, I’m a Facebook stalker, searching for any glimpse of Maverick I could find, yet never did.”

  My stomach lets out a loud growl, and my fingers tremble as hunger hits me fast and hard. I need food and now. Across the street from the hotel is the local and very famous bar in town, but a block and half down is the best breakfast anyone could ever sink their teeth into. I check the time on my phone and know I only have fifteen minutes to catch the breakfast menu.

  I snag my phone and debit card and take off down the street. As I hustle past storefront windows, I notice my out of control hair and let it down as I speed walk and try to finger comb the hell out of it. I grip the handle of the door, and I feel sick once again knowing I’ll see old familiar faces. I’ll probably even have people commenting about my mom. At this point, it’s either starve for the few weeks I’ll be here or suck up my pride.

  I inhale a large gulp of air and suck it up the best I know how. The diner is bustling with business and loud chatter fills the space with the most delicious aroma of maple syrup and butter wafting around. The only problem is every single booth, table, and barstool is taken up by customers. I turn back for the door and decide to wait by the cashier stand for a place to open up. My stomach once again makes a very loud protest, declaring hunger pangs. I cover my abdomen and almost blush with embarrassment because I’m sure that was the growl that could be heard around the world.

  “Hey.”

  A hand catches my wrist as I turn my head back. I look down into the eyes of the man who will forever own me—Maverik.

  “Need a seat?” He quirks an eyebrow at me.

  I can only nod and smile back at him.

  “This is open.” He points to the opposite side of the booth he’s sitting in.

  “I-I…” I pause to gather my thoughts and try to talk like a big girl. “I’m sure you’d rather enjoy your breakfast without me. You didn’t seem too happy last night.”

  “Sit and eat. I’m a big boy.”

  There’s a joke in there, but I’m fairly certain we aren’t even close to that right now. He tugs me down into the b
ooth opposite of him and when his touch is gone, I feel instantly empty and cold.

  “Thank you.” I study Maverik’s face and pick up on the worried lines that now sprawl out from the corner of his eyes. His olive skin and dimples still ever so present and damaging to my lady parts. “Why are you smiling, Mav?”

  “Life’s just a funny old bitch.”

  “Uh.” I cock my head to the side.

  He tilts his black velvet cowboy hat to the side and smiles back at me.

  “This,” he gestures between us, “is what I dreamed of for years and now that it’s here…”

  His pause is awkward and sinks my heart to the bottom of my belly, but it doesn’t stop me from soaking in his looks.

  “It’s what?” I urge him on.

  “It’s nice.”

  “Nice.” I wrinkle my nose at him.

  “Yeah, nice.”

  “Nice.” My voice is louder than I expected it to be. “Nice is not a word that Maverik Slatter uses.”

  “I know. You’ve always had a thing about doing things to me.”

  I bite my lower lip, remembering the assaulting kiss from last night and so many from the past. All I’ve ever wanted to do is run back to him, begging for forgiveness for leaving, but I always knew no one would understand my greediness for leaving.

  “Do you need anything, miss?”

  I look up to the voice that just interrupted my thought process and come face to face with Lindsey McCormick. Fuck me sideways. Karma at its best—my high school rival and the one girl Maverik dated before me.

  “Holy shit, I thought you were just another one of Maverik’s morning afters, not the one and only Ella James.”

  Surprise, bitch, I’m back! is the first thought that races through my mind before I look over to Maverik, who sits stone cold on his side of the booth. But before I have a chance to speak, the naggy bitch goes on.

  “Oh, that’s right, your poor momma finally lost the battle.” She clutches her gold name badge on her chest. “We visited her several times before she passed on.”

  The bitter taste of blood fills the inside of my mouth, and that’s when I realize my teeth are still sunk deep in my lower lip.

  How in the hell do I respond to her? “Oh, yes, my mom and I never saw eye to eye. She’s dead. I’m home burying her and then off again. Thanks, asshole, now get me some fucking pancakes with extra syrup.”

  Maverik’s hand covers my clutched fist on the table. “Thanks, Beans. Just add an extra order of maple nut pancakes and hash browns to my order. Oh, and two eggs sunny side up.”

  And as if a bad accident just went down in front of me, I can’t peel my eyes from it. Lindsey’s jaw drops and her cheeks flush neon pink. Beans is the nickname a few jocks awarded her in high school. There was some talk about ol’ Lindsey and the walking farts after a night of experimenting with butt sex.

  I know I shouldn’t be enjoying her reaction to the nickname, but I can’t help myself. It’s the first time in years I’ve actually felt any type of joy. Maverik kicks me under the table, sensing my pending outburst of laughter. I finally let go of my lower lip and crane my head in his direction and stare down his own smirk.

  “I’ll have that right up with your order, Maverik.”

  Lindsey, or Beans as I’ll refer to her for eternity, marches off without a second look back at me.

  “Maverik.” I bust out in hysterics and finally wipe the tears from my eyes. “What in the hell?”

  “She had no right to talk to you that way.”

  “Thank you.” The two words slip so easily from my tongue, goose bumps cover my skin. I want to tell Maverik everything, explaining to him why, but then reality sets in. And the cold hard truth is, I ran and didn’t return for years.

  Silence settles in over the table as we just stare at each other. I feel like it’s just another sleepless night of lying in bed, staring at a picture of him from high school. But now he’s much older, matured, and even sexier with age. Mav’s eyes always hypnotized me and made me feel at home.

  “I wasn’t lying when I said I never quit loving you.” I clutch his hand as I finish off the words.

  “Ella.”

  The world is out to separate the two of us, and now I’m beyond certain this is the truth. This time when I look up I see Darrell, the man who has been running the local funeral home for years. He inherited it from his father. I’m sure he also inherited from his father making the Denson Funeral Home legendary in these parts.

  “I tried calling you back and never heard from you. I just have one quick question.”

  The man’s short stature and soothing voice make it nearly impossible for me to be irritated at him. His intentions are spot on. It’s just me and my I don’t give a fuck attitude.

  “Yeah.” I manage to choke out, and this time I reach for Maverik.

  I gasp when I realize his outstretched hand is already waiting for me. My hand overshoots his palm and clutches his forearm. His long sleeve western shirt is rolled up and tucked at the elbow. My fingers find the metal buttons on the cuff and make a swirling motion around it. Anything to take my mind off the current topic.

  “Would you like to step outside? This really isn’t a question to be asked in public.” He tucks his palms in the pockets of his black dress slacks. “That’s why I tried to call you back several times.”

  I barely nod and then feel my elbow being squeezed and look over to Maverik. “Um, it’s fine. Go ahead.”

  “I typically don’t do business like this, but we need to know if your mother had any insurance we should get on file, and if you’re planning on a traditional burial or cremation.” Darrell pulls his hands from his pockets and fidgets with his collar out of clear uneasiness. “Again, sorry Ella, I know this isn’t easy.”

  I look over to Maverik, who’s staring the poor man down as if he’d like to rip his jugular from his body and then back to Darrell, who looks like he’s about to piss his pants. This is a scene that was all too common back in the day. Let’s just say that no one fucked with Mav’s girl. It was a feeling I once adored and feel the same sensation coming back to me.

  I do my best to clear the lump clogging my throat. “I do believe she had a plan. It should be in the folder she left behind, and my mother’s wish was a traditional burial. I also believe she had her own casket picked out. It’s all in the blue folder I dropped off.”

  “Got it.” An uneasy smile covers his face. “I just needed to confirm that. I reassure you that I’ll have everything set up by your appointment time, making this easier on you.”

  Darrell takes off after a simple goodbye, and that’s when I hear from a booth behind me.

  “What a shame. Samantha was the sweetest soul with the biggest heart. Just a disgrace.”

  The lady behind me might as well have been shouting it since each of her words pierced deep in my heart. My long hair drops down covering my face as I bow my head, and I lose every ounce of strength I’d been holding onto since pulling into town a couple of days ago.

  My shoulders begin to shake out of control as I release everything I’ve pent up for so long. Gallons of sorrow flow down my cheeks and pool in my lap as everything facing me finally hits me like a semi-truck.

  “Hey, Pinks, it’s going to be okay.” Maverik’s voice drifts through the sobs controlling my body. I feel his hand pull back my hair and tuck it over my opposite shoulder. Then the back of his hand glides up and down my jawbone.

  “Do I need to sing to you?”

  I let out a light chuckle.

  “I’ll do it. I’ll sing our song to you, and you know how good I am at singing.”

  Using the back of my hand and the collar of my shirt, I do my best to mop up the wetness on my face while slowing down my breathing.

  “Mav.”

  “Pinks.”

  “Stop.” I giggle at the old nickname and then slap his chest. “I can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Be here and bury my mom. I can�
��t and don’t want to be here at all.”

  I feel him go tense with my words, and then there’s a pained look on his face.

  “No, Maverik.” I clutch his cheek. “Not you or here with you, but just back here with the ghosts of my mom. Fuck, I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

  “Here’s your food.” Beans tosses our plates down with little to no hospitality before stomping off.

  Maverik takes his time sliding his arm up my back and facing his plate of food. I clutch his forearm, stopping him from starting his breakfast. “I need you, Maverik. I should’ve never done what I did to you.”

  He covers my trembling fingers and looks down at me with clouded eyes, and it may be the most pain I’ve experienced.

  “Why? Why did you leave me, Ella?”

  “The city.” I swallow my pride as I break eye contact with him.

  “I thought you loved me.” Mav grips my chin and forces me to look at him.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I feel the pending liquid sadness build back up, and I don’t know if I have enough courage to tackle this right now. “I loved you and I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, Maverik. It’s something I’ll never be able to explain.”

  He faces his plate of food again and begins eating. I feel him slipping away just like the night I left town, and it’s a gut wrenching pain I never want to feel again.

  “I didn’t have a choice. Please believe me, Maverik.”

  His knuckles go ghost white around the fork in his hand and then the veins on the side of his head pop. Outrage takes over every single one of his handsome features. “You leaving fucking killed me. That statement just devastated me.” He pauses, then turns his head to look at me. “I would’ve done anything for you, Ella, and the sad fucking part is I’d still do anything for you. I’ve never stopped loving you and know I’ll never be able to stop.”

  “I’m…”

  “Shut up and eat. This conversation is over.”

  I let the tears roll down my cheeks as I begin to pour maple syrup over my pancakes, my hand trembling as I try to cut into them. Maverik grabs my hand, steadying it and then brings his fork to my lips.