Everything We Need (Finding Forever Book 4)

by Rebecca Raine

  As for her instincts, they’d been rooting for Brady from day one. But she’d been so disillusioned with what they had to say, she’d fought those instincts every step of the way. Derek was right though, she couldn’t go around doing the opposite of what her heart wanted and still expect to be happy.

  Perhaps, in the end, Brady was one topic where her instincts and her logic could find themselves in complete agreement. She was a better version of herself when she was with Brady and he was a more complete version of himself when he was with her. Together, they could be amazing.

  She lay there for a few minutes, grinning like a lunatic in love and enjoying the idea that, perhaps, her future could be filled with all the love and happiness she’d ever dreamed of.

  “Trina.” The odd tone in Jeremy’s voice broke through Trina’s moment of bliss. “I think you want to see this.” He held her phone, staring down at the screen with a sly smile.

  “I don’t care who’s winking at me, Jer,” she said. “I’m going to delete the account. I don’t need it anymore.”

  “I think that’s a great idea.” Jeremy nodded. “But you should check this guy out first. He seems perfect for you.”

  She frowned. Since when did Jeremy encourage her to go out with anyone who wasn’t Brady? She accepted the phone from his hand, curiosity making her look at the profile he’d opened.

  Her eyes widened. She scrambled upright. “What the hell?”

  Jeremy laughed, delight clear on his face. “I told you.”

  Trina stared at Brady’s picture. The quality was terrible. It was much too dark, obviously taken by his desktop camera. He wore the same clothes she’d seen him in earlier. He hadn’t even bothered to smile. None of it mattered. With those dark eyes and the determined tilt of his head, he was still smoking hot.

  “Read the profile,” Jeremy urged. They were facing each other now, their knees touching as they sat cross-legged on the bed.

  She skimmed the words, unable to stop herself from reading ahead. The details were sparse, with short, clipped sentences. She clapped a hand over her mouth. Every phrase had been written for her. Open-minded, but with a jealous streak. Every word, a description of her. Loves muffins but abhors muffin-makers. She started to laugh, her happiness bubbling to the surface. Cares about her friends. Enamoured by her creative side. Willing to take a chance on love. The last line was the clincher. Be the love of my life.

  “What happens now?” Jeremy asked, his hands tapping excitedly on her knees. “Do you send him a message?”

  Her heart was in her throat as she shook her head. “First I have to wink back.” Her finger was already over the button, but she hesitated as she stared at Jeremy.

  “What the fuck at you waiting for, Trina?” Jeremy cried. “If that man looked at me the way he looks at you, I would be his in a heartbeat. Nothing would hold me back.”

  “I’m not. I mean, I’m going to respond, but…” She reached for his hand, gripping it tight as her heart filled to bursting. “What about you?” He was still learning to live without Aaron in his life. She wanted to be there to support him, as he had supported her. As eager as she was to step into the future with Brady, she didn’t want to hurt her friend.

  “What about me?” Jeremy threw his hands in the air. “I’m not some newbie who’s just discovered slasher fic, Trina. I can ride the good ship Destiel as long as I want, but I already know that shit is never gonna be canon.”

  Trina gave an exasperated groan before she put one hand on his shoulder and shook him hard. “Can you stop speaking geek for one second? I have no idea what you’re saying.”

  Jeremy dropped his head back with a groan. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, his tone sombre this time. “What I mean is this, I’m not harbouring any illusions here. This thing between you, me and Brady, it was exactly what I needed. But it was never meant to last forever.” He clasped her hands between his, staring into her eyes. “I’m going to be fine. I promise. Now send the damn wink already.”

  “All right, I’m sending it.” She lifted the phone and returned Brady’s wink. Then they waited, enormous smiles on both their faces.

  A few minutes later, a message arrived. Brady asked her out on a date for the following night. She said yes.

  Chapter 27

  “I swear you’re not going to regret this,” Brady told her with grave sincerity.

  Trina stared at the monstrosity before her. The flat pancake-like base looked all right. It was the mountain of shredded cabbage on top that gave her the chills. No amount of succulent pork or sauce could hide that. “I thought you said it was pizza.”

  “It’s Japanese pizza. I tried it a few years ago in New York. It’s phenomenal, trust me.”

  “All right.” Carefully picking up a slice, she took a hearty bite. Flavours exploded in her mouth as she chewed and before long her eyes rolled back in her head as she moaned in pleasure. After she swallowed, she took a sip of the boutique beer the vendor had sworn was a perfect match. “I’ll give you that one,” she told him with a nod. “It’s pretty damn good.”

  Brady gave a satisfied laugh. “I told you.”

  They sat at a small table on the Southbank Promenade, beneath a full moon and amid strings of lanterns. Around them, a food and wine festival was in full swing. They’d spent the evening wandering among the stalls, sampling the various culinary delights and enjoying the crowded atmosphere. As first dates went, it was low-key, relaxed, and utterly perfect.

  After they had eaten their fill, they strolled along the promenade, enjoying the cool night air and the view of the Yarra River. The wide path was crowded and the restaurants on their right were alive with the various sounds of people enjoying dinner, but Trina barely noticed any of it.

  Brady’s hand in hers. The scent of his cologne when she leaned close. The touch of his lips each time they kissed. These were the things she noticed, and she drank in each sensation with a thirst she knew would never be quenched.

  “Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he said, lifting their clasped hands so he could kiss the back of her knuckles. “I know you’ve had your reservations about us.” He gave her a self-deprecating grin. “I can’t say I blame you.”

  “We haven’t had the most conventional beginning,” she agreed. “It would have been weird if it didn’t make me cautious.”

  “True. And I was pretty messed up when you met me.”

  She looked up at him, but he kept his gaze on the path ahead of them. “What about now?”

  “I have no regrets, about any of it, and I hope you don’t either,” he told her. “I know it looks dubious from the outside and messy from the inside, but none of that matters to me. I’ve had more fun with you and Jeremy than I’ve ever had in my life and I’ll never forget it.” He laughed then, and she couldn’t help but join in. How could she not, when everything he said was true? “But now it’s time to move onto the next part of my life,” he continued, “and I want to do that with you.”

  Sobering, she wondered whether she should ask the next question that came to mind. But after all the time she’d spent worrying over the answer, she knew she couldn’t avoid it. Now was not the time to keep herself guessing. “Don’t you wonder if you’ll miss being with Jeremy, or with men in general?”

  Coming to a stop, he turned her body until he could cup her face in his hands. “Not anymore. And it’s not about comparing sex with women and sex with men or any of that bullshit. You and Jeremy helped me realise that. It’s about choosing to be with the one person you love. For me, that person is you, Katrina.” He bent down to press a warm kiss to her lips, before resting his forehead against hers. “I love you. And I will choose you, over and over, for the rest of my life—if you’ll have me.”

  She took a deep breath as she twined her arms around his neck. “This is a lot to take in on a first date,” she said, the corners of her mouth lifting, “but I have to say, I like your chances.”

  He smiled, pulling her tight against his body. �
��You do?”

  “Yes.” She lifted her face to his, breathed the words across his lips. “Because I love you, too.”

  Trina’s heart fluttered in her chest as they climbed the stairs to their shared landing. She clung to Brady’s hand, letting his warmth steady her. She hadn’t expected to be nervous. But there was no denying the faint trembling in her limbs or her quickness of breath.

  When they reached the landing, Brady eschewed her door, heading straight for his own apartment. She followed in silent agreement.

  Jeremy wasn’t home, they knew. He’d made arrangements to go out with his sister and probably wouldn’t be back for hours. Even so, it would have felt weird if they’d slept in her bed, knowing their ex-lover would return some time during the night.

  The moment they entered Brady’s apartment, he locked the door and backed her up against it. One hand threaded through her hair, while the other skidded down to curve around her hip. “You’re all mine now,” he said in a quiet rumble. “I’m never letting you go.”

  She nodded, her legs weak with a combination of desire and jitters. “Never.”

  He kissed her, his lips gentle and questing. As her hands slipped beneath his shirt to stroke the masculine lines of his back, her body began to relax into his. When his lips trailed down her throat, she sighed in pleasure. “Brady,” she murmured as her lips curved in a smile, “take me to bed or lose me forever.” The line had come from an old 80s movie she’d seen as a teenager and she’d always wanted to use it, but had never dared.

  Brady laughed, giving her a light smack on the arse. “Don’t you start,” he said with a smile. “Jeremy has been a bad influence on you.” Picking her up, he urged her to wrap her legs around his waist before he carried her into the bedroom and dropped her giggling form onto the bed.

  She came up onto her knees, watching as Brady flicked on a bedside lamp. He lifted his shirt over his head and she bit into her bottom lip as she drank in the sight of his muscular torso in the dim light. Edging forward, she placed her hands on his newly bared chest, enjoying the expanse of smooth skin. She ran her thumbs over his nipples, smiling when they hardened beneath her touch. With a groan, he lowered his head. His kiss was demanding now, broken only by necessity as they stripped off the rest of their clothes.

  As soon as they were naked, she lowered herself back to the bed, moaning as his body covered hers, the weight of him a glorious relief. He played her body with long strokes that left her panting. Then one rose-tipped breast was drawn deep into his mouth and her back arched off the bed as her hands threaded through his short hair to hold him in place.

  He surprised her by rolling them over, so she straddled his hips. It wasn’t something they’d been able to do before. Having three people in a queen-sized bed led to certain limitations of movement. Those restrictions were gone now. Every part of Brady belonged to her, to do with as she pleased.

  Licking her lips at the thought, she began kissing her way down his body. He hissed in a breath as she took him into her mouth and sucked hard. He cupped the back of her head, his fingers clenching in her hair. She gave a low groan as she increased her pace, one hand squeezing his balls while the other stroked his thick shaft in time with her mouth. A guttural sound rumbled through his chest as he reached out to pull her back up his body. “No, you don’t,” he muttered as he sat up with her still over his lap, his breath sawing in and out of his chest. “Our first time will not end like that.”

  She smiled at the thought she’d brought him to the brink so quickly, though she appreciated his restraint. She didn’t want this to end yet either. “Our first time?”

  “Yeah,” he replied, pressing kisses to her neck and shoulders as his body started to calm. “Tonight was like a new beginning for us. So, in a way,” he drew back to look into her eyes, “this is our first time. You and me, making love to each other.”

  Her heart swelled with happiness. Who would have thought Brady Shaw could be such a hopeless romantic? “Except better,” she added, unable to help teasing him a little, “because you already know all my erogenous zones.”

  He gave a chuckle as he slid one hand down to a sensitive spot on her hip bone that made her shiver. “So true,” he said against her lips. “That means I’ll be the best first time you’ve ever had.”

  “Definitely the best. And also the last,” her breath came quickly as she spoke. “I only want you, Brady. For always.”

  The smile he gave her was tinged with awe. “You really are the most amazing woman.”

  She gave a shriek of laughter when he lifted her up and tossed her back down to the bed before lowering himself between her thighs. His hand dipped into the drawer of the bedside table and moments later he buried himself inside her. She gasped at the sudden fullness, her muscles rippling in delight.

  His gaze held hers as he made love to her, each thrust slow and languid. There was a relaxed sensuality between them that hadn’t been present before. The intimacy and closeness she’d craved for so long was right there, waiting for her in his eyes. She felt vulnerable. Naked in ways she hadn’t allowed before. But she trusted him to keep her safe. Trusted him to catch her.

  And so, when she felt her orgasm rushing at her, she let herself fall.

  Chapter 28

  Jeremy stood in the doorway of Trina’s bedroom and stared at the empty bed. He wasn’t surprised she and Brady weren’t there. Now they were a couple, he’d expected them to spend their first night together at Brady’s place. In Brady’s bed.

  He wasn’t hurt they were moving on without him. He wasn’t angry or disappointed. He’d known this would happen. That Trina and Brady would fall for each other in a way that precluded the presence of a third partner. Then their little trio would be over. This was the way it was supposed to be and he wanted them to be happy. There was sadness in him, though, knowing his time with them was at an end.

  He thought back to the last time the three of them had made love. It was only a few days earlier, before Trina had gone off to visit her family. They’d had no idea, that morning, that their time together was already coming to an end.

  Memories washed over him. Trina’s body pressed between his and Brady’s as she writhed in ecstasy, her hand reaching back to stroke his hard length while Brady moved inside her. Raising up on one elbow, he’d leaned forward to capture Brady’s mouth. His hand had wrapped around the other man’s neck as they kissed—deeply, thoroughly. He’d relished the experience, felt every sensation with a keen intensity. Even so, he hadn’t been aware of its true significance. If only he’d known it was the last time they would make love. He’d have held on tighter, drawn the moment out until forever. So he’d never have to let them go.

  A lumped formed in his throat as he turned away, heading back into the living room. He couldn’t even begin to give voice to what he still needed from these two people who had appeared so unexpectedly in his life. He’d been so alone, removed from the world for so long. Their arrival, one after the other, had breathed life back into him. Now he’d tasted the freshness of the air, he was gripped by the notion that the instant they were gone, he’d start to suffocate.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d had such thoughts. That he couldn’t breathe on his own. He was pretty sure he’d used those words when talking to Brady once. Only, he’d been talking about Aaron at the time. He’d always thought it was Aaron’s dominant behaviour that left him gasping. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

  Perhaps, in latching on to Brady and Trina so hard, he’d been swapping one addiction for another. He’d told himself it didn’t matter because they cared about him, treated him better than Aaron had been able to. It did matter, though. After all, how was he any better off, if he still couldn’t breathe without them?

  Frustration roared through him as he stalked into his own bedroom and slammed the door behind him. The empty bed taunted him. He’d barely spent any time in it in nearly two months. Most of his nights had been spent in Trina’s bedroom, or Brady’s. He remembered the n
ight Brady had holed up in his apartment and Jeremy had been faced with the prospect of sleeping by himself for the first time in weeks. He probably could have slept with Trina, but was unsure if she’d want him there without Brady. In the end, he’d all but dragged Trina next door. Whatever bullshit he’d spouted about wanting to be there for Brady had worked on Trina. But the truth was, he hadn’t been able to face the thought of sleeping alone.

  He didn’t like being alone. Having nothing but his own thoughts for company. He didn’t want to deal with himself.

  He hadn’t been like that when he was younger. Aaron had been his first, and only, long term relationship. Before that, he’d been something of a wanderer, surrounded by friends, but never really connecting with anyone too closely. Perhaps that was why he’d fallen for Aaron so deeply. Aaron had caught his attention in a way no one else ever had and held onto it with a choking grip. He wasn’t sure he would ever be caught like that again and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be. To fall that hard, love that deeply, it was dangerous for him.

  Picking up his phone, he opened his contact list and started scrolling. It was past time he tried to reconnect with some of his old friends, or went out and made some new ones. He couldn’t continue this way, relying on Trina and Brady to fill the void in his life. He still had numbers for most of his old friends. It would simply be a matter of trying a few and seeing what happened.

  His gaze landed on Aaron’s name. His finger followed. The contact profile opened and Aaron’s photo smiled up at him. Jeremy had taken it years ago, on the morning of their first Christmas together. They’d been happy at the time, still in the first throes of love and excited about what the future might hold. Perhaps that was why he’d never updated the photo. He wanted to remember how happy they once were together.

  The urge to press on Aaron’s mobile number, and make the call, came over him like a wave. Stronger than he would have thought possible. Even though he’d promised Brady he wouldn’t. Even though he’d really been making that promise to himself. Was the thought of being alone really so repugnant, that he would break his promise the moment his will was tested?