Sorry, You're not my Type

by Sudeep Nagarkar

  Also by Sudeep Nagarkar

  Few Things Left Unsaid

  That’s the Way We Met

  It Started With a Friend Request

  SUDEEP NAGARKAR

  Published by Random House India in 2014

  Copyright © Sudeep Nagarkar 2014

  Random House Publishers India Private Limited

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  A-1, Sector-125, Noida-201301, UP

  Random House Group Limited

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  United Kingdom

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  EPUB ISBN 9788184005578

  To VAYU

  Jo tumhari neende udaaye,

  Khwaab hai sacha wahi!

  Jo tumhari neendo me aaye,

  Khwaab woh sacha nahi!

  contents

  Prologue

  That Seductive Night

  VAYU—The Wave

  From ‘It’s Complicated’ to ‘In a Relationship’

  Do Not Disturb

  The Girl in the Metro

  An Ending and a Beginning

  Happiness is a Whore

  From ‘Love You’ to ‘Fuck You’

  Broken Threads

  The Way You Make Me Feel

  The Closer I Get to You

  Not All Nights are Romantic

  Is Friendship a Product?

  What Was Her Fault?

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  A Note on the Author

  Prologue

  We all have dreams. But if we want those dreams to come true, we have to strive really hard. They too had a dream. They too had strived hard to achieve their dream. But would they see the dream turn into reality? Only time would tell.

  It was the evening of the grand finale. The atmosphere was abuzz with activity and the excitement was palpable. Students from Delhi University had gathered in the campus lawns to watch the various bands perform.

  This year the event looked bigger, better, and even more promising than the one held the previous year. There was an air of nervous anticipation. As the emcee called the band from Rajhans College on stage, everyone cheered loudly. By then a huge crowd had gathered in the lawns. All of a sudden, the lights went off and silence filled the air.

  We have waited for this moment for long. Finally our time has arrived! We need to give our best if we want a shot at winning. I just hope Yuvi hasn’t taken drugs. We can’t afford to take chances today, Vikrant thought to himself and turned to face Yuvi.

  Yuvi stood there confidently. He had dreamt of this day since childhood. He planted a kiss on his girlfriend Kashish’s mouth. He considered it a sign of good luck.

  As their lips parted, she said, ‘I am sure you will steal everyone’s hearts tonight. I feel so jealous.’

  Yuvi gave her a smile, which, like always, sent shivers down her spine. She was his moral support and he always wanted her beside him, cheering on the band. Though she was not involved with the band physically, her mental support always boosted their confidence.

  The stage was set. All three of them were ready to take the spotlight. They knew how important this was to kick-start their career. It was more important for them to secure a win for their college’s reputation since the cup had eluded them for the past few years. The competition was stiff but the cultural team of Rajhans had full faith in their band.

  ‘I am ready guys. I know we can do it. Let’s make the most of it,’ Anamika muttered in her sexy voice while walking towards the stage.

  They looked at each other and exchanged nervous smiles. As they took their positions and stood facing the crowd, the spotlights fell on them. The crowd erupted in cheer and applause.

  Anamika, the dancer of the band, looked gorgeous in a little black dress. There was not a single guy in the crowd who was not fantasizing about her. Vikrant, the drummer, was a perfectionist. Yuvi was probably the best guitarist and vocalist any college could have. The trio was the perfect combination of looks and talent.

  Strumming the guitar, Yuvi started singing the most popular song of the band. Slowly, all the students in the playground swirled to the beats of the music. Yuvi had the potential to mesmerize everyone and he poured his heart out in the performance. Anamika and Vikrant encouraged the crowd to sway their hands in the air. Everything seemed picture perfect and the confidence with which the band was performing, it seemed like Rajhans had almost won the trophy.

  But none had anticipated the disaster that was awaiting them. Just when everything seemed perfect, the mic stopped working and a cord of the electric guitar came apart! Yuvi kept blaming the sound technician for the bizarre set up. No matter how hard the trio tried, things never came back on track. The performance was called off by the judges and the crowd started booing them off. All their hopes were shattered as Yuvi and the other group members walked off the stage with their heads hung in shame.

  A feeling of hopelessness engulfed them. They had waited for this day for so long and had practiced for hours after college. Neither of them had imagined this to be the end result. They couldn’t believe what was happening to them.

  ‘How could they do this? This is not fair. We should be given another chance. It was the grand finale and the judges can’t be so biased. What’s our bloody fault?’ Anamika shouted in frustration.

  ‘The technician was an asshole! How the fuck did he not check our equipment before the performance? I sense something fishy,’ said Vikrant.

  And the blame game continued. Yuvi hadn’t said a word till then. He still couldn’t believe what had happened a few minutes back. A tear came rolling down his cheek. Though he had taken drugs that evening, he was well in control of the situation and had given one of the finest performances of his life before everything went haywire. Both Anamika and Vikrant were voicing their frustration loudly and Yuvi’s silence was killing them.

  ‘Will you speak up, for God’s sake?’ Anamika screamed.

  Yuvi was still quiet and didn’t look up until Anamika shook him by his shoulders.

  ‘Can you just leave me alone, you bitch? It’s all because of you. Who told you to fuck it up? You and your boyfriend messed everything up. It’s all because of him. Oops sorry, it’s all because of you. Just get lost.’

  Yuvi walked off in anger. Vikrant ran after him and tried to stop him from leaving. Vikrant was confused and upset with what was happening around him. He wanted to calm down the two and resolve the issue.

  ‘Yuvi, at least listen to me. How are you so sure it was because of him?’ Vikrant screamed.

  Yuvi stopped and looked back in anger. ‘Do you think I am a fucking fool? I saw him talking with the technicians a few seconds before our show. He obviously messed everything up. He had told her he will screw it all up and he did.’ Saying this he walked away. Vikrant gave up. He realized the situation was out of his hand and there was nothing he could do to pacify Yuvi.

  Anamika’s sour relationship with her boyfriend had cost them big time! It was probably going to be the last performance of their lives.

  The hopes that they had shared, the dreams that they had seen—
all of it was suddenly swept out of their lives like dust on the floor. Anamika was heartbroken by Yuvi’s words. She tried to regain composure and, collecting her thoughts, messaged her ex-boyfriend.

  I have given up on my dream because I don’t want my group to suffer. You envied me, but why my group? Why my band? You think you have achieved all that you wanted and can now stop me from achieving mine? I am not a girl who will sit back and cry. Do whatever you want. I give a damn. You have no balls. Fuck you bastard.

  Rajhans College had lost the competition and the trophy too. Yuvi didn’t bother to wait for the results and left with his girlfriend. Vikrant was speechless and didn’t know how to react while Anamika sat alone trying to understand what had just happened. She felt like she was trapped in a cage. She sensed the end was near—the end of their band VAYU!

  That seductive night

  Mia Bella, Hauz Khaz Village, Delhi

  14th September 2013, 10 pm

  ‘No amount of coffee, no amount of crying, no amount of whiskey, no amount of wine… I gotta have you,’ sang the mesmerzing voice while I chilled with my friend Sakshi at the Mia Bella pub.

  Sakshi, one of my best friends, was effortlessly beautiful. She was of medium height, with narrow shoulders, slender legs, and a tiny waist. She had an air of confidence about her. Her jet-black curls blew in the evening breeze like the black waves that blow over the ocean on stormy nights. Her fair skin glowed and her eyes had the spark that could set forests ablaze. But her best feature was her smile. She could light up any party with just her smile. I admired her as a friend since she had always stood by me whenever I needed someone. Our friendship was over a decade old but we couldn’t meet very often due to the long distance between us. I had little clue about good places to eat in Delhi, so I had asked Sakshi to decide where to go.

  When we reached Mia Bella around 10 pm, Sakshi told me that we needed to climb three floors. I pleaded with Sakshi that I was tired, but she remained stubborn and took me upstairs. By the time we reached the rooftop, I had a big smile on my face. All my tiredness evaporated into thin air. It had a terrific view of the lake and the cold breeze made it feel even more amazing. I hugged Sakshi for gifting me a pleasant evening after a tiresome day at work. We placed our order and waited for the dishes to arrive.

  ‘No amount of coffee, no amount of crying…’ he continued singing. The voice of the singer left me spellbound.

  ‘Adi, will you pay attention to me or should I leave?’ Sakshi asked pinching me. I was mentally transported to a different world. I wanted to hear more of his soothing voice. I somehow felt an urge to get to know him better. His way of playing the guitar was soothing to my ears. He had a seductive voice which completely mesmerized me. It was one seductive night!

  ‘Adi, we’ve met after such a long time and look at you. You have changed so much. Have you forgotten how girls should be treated?’ She was getting furious. At that moment, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she would have thrown the cutlery at me.

  I had landed in Delhi on the same day for an official trip. It was justified on her part to get furious at me as she was feeling ignored. I tried to show her that I was paying attention to her even though my mind was elsewhere. But as we know guys can’t beat girls at arguments, especially when the girl is your BFF.

  ‘Yes, I am sorry. Tell me, I am listening to you. It’s just that…’

  ‘Oh, don’t try to fool me. Why are you paying so much attention to the singer? Have you recently turned gay?’ she said in a fit of jealousy.

  ‘I am not paying attention to him. I’m listening to his voice. I am sure there is a lot of pain inside him. And anyway, I was just checking out the interiors of the lounge. Quite nice, no?’ I said trying to change the topic.

  ‘Chuck it. Here comes peri peri chicken. Taste it. It’s one of the best dishes available here,’ she smirked.

  ‘Is it? Do you even understand the meaning of the name? Firstly Mia Bella and now this peri peri. This place seems funny.’

  She stared at me and I knew it was time for me to keep quiet. I ate my meal in silence. The peri peri chicken was indeed delicious. We followed up the meal with a few drinks.

  ‘Adi, it feels so good to meet you after almost two years. I so wish that you stayed permanently in Delhi. Then you would have been just a call away whenever I needed you.’

  ‘I am still a call away. Anything for you. Just don’t call me too often. It will reflect in your bank statement otherwise,’ I laughed.

  ‘I’m not a baniya like you. Thank God you’re not my boyfriend,’ she replied.

  ‘I was kidding. Okay, where is my surprise? You said that you had something for me. Where is it?’ I looked here and there to tease her.

  She gave me a naughty smile and looked at the manager, gesturing him to bring something in. I was curious to know what she had planned for the evening. She looked excited and nervous too.

  After a few minutes, the manager came back holding a huge cake. As soon as he kept the cake on the table, the same singer whose voice had completely mesmerized me played a mellow song on his guitar. I looked at him and we exchanged smiles.

  The cake had a picture of me holding a book in my hand. It was Sakshi’s favourite picture of me. She had got the cake custom-made especially for the evening. Her gesture made me feel extremely special. The cake was a chocoholic’s dream. Rich, thick, and creamy, with a layer of Oreo cookie crumble in the middle.

  ‘Should I take the honour of cutting it myself?’ I smiled looking at my image on the cake.

  ‘Yes please. Kindly go ahead. I want to eat you tonight,’ she said giving me a wicked smile.

  ‘Then I better cut the other part of the cake as I don’t want to spoil the night,’ I laughed.

  ‘You moron. You can never change.’ She hugged me as I cut the cake.

  I fed the first piece of cake to Sakshi followed by the manager. The cake was then cut into smaller pieces and offered to everyone present at the pub. I took one piece of the cake and went towards the singer sitting on the stage. He was still very engrossed in singing. I went closer to him and offered him a piece of the cake. He sensed affection from me and got up to give me a big hug. His hug made me feel like he was hiding immense pain inside him. I wanted to know what was troubling him but waited for the right time to question.

  ‘I hope you loved the surprise,’ Sakshi asked wiping the cake from her mouth.

  ‘You made my day. I feel so special. I will remember this moment forever. I am so lucky to have a friend like you in my life. God has been kind to me.’

  I still remember the first day we met. We were too shy to talk then, and look at us now! We’ve become the best of friends. True friendship is rare these days and I’ve been lucky to have met and made friends with people whom I can trust blindly. Sakshi was one of them. Our bond was extremely special and unique in its own way. I loved her fun personality which somehow never failed to impress me. She was always there for me whenever I felt blue. The world would definitely be a better place with more people like her.

  It was almost 12 am and the pub was supposed to shut down by 1. She introduced me to the manager Anuj, who happened to be her friend. The first few minutes between us were a bit awkward but then I finally decided to break the ice.

  ‘Anuj, can I ask you one thing? Something’s been on my mind ever since we came to this place,’ I whispered.

  ‘Yes. What’s bothering you?’ he asked pulling out a chair. ‘This guy. The singer. Do you know anything about him?’ I continued.

  ‘Not really. But I know that he was a part of one of the most famous college bands in Delhi.’

  My sixth sense was right! But why was he here? If he had been a part of one of the most famous bands in Delhi, why was he performing in a restaurant? The more I thought about it, the more I felt he was hiding something and that there was more to him than met the eye.

  ‘Can you introduce me to him?’ I requested.

  I turned to look at Sakshi, anticipating
a long speech. But to my surprise, she too looked interested in knowing who the guy really was.

  ‘Why not? Give me a minute. Let me go talk to him,’ said Anuj and started walking towards the singer.

  We watched them talking in hushed tones from a distance. Then the guy laid down his guitar near the bar counter and started walking towards us. Sakshi nudged me to lead the introductions.

  ‘Hi, I am Aditya. This is my friend Sakshi. Please take a seat,’ I offered.

  He took a chair and sat next to us. He looked around but didn’t utter a word. Silence filled the air. By then the music had stopped too. We were the only ones left in the pub.

  ‘Anuj told me that you were part of a famous college band. Must have been exciting?’

  ‘No,’ he replied.

  ‘Don’t worry. We all are friends,’ Anuj said trying to make him feel at ease.

  ‘May I know your band name?’ Sakshi asked him.

  He stared at her for a few seconds. He seemed lost. Though he was physically with us, his mind was elsewhere. Finally, he looked me in the eye and said, ‘VAYU’.

  I don’t know what came over me when he said that name but by then I had made up my mind that I had to ask him everything about the band. Every minute detail. I asked him if he felt comfortable answering my questions.

  ‘I don’t mind you asking me about the band even though it will bring back all the memories I’d rather keep hidden away. But I just want to know why it is of interest to you? You had nothing to do with the band.’

  I ordered drinks for all of us. Considering the manager was Sakshi’s friend, he did not say no even though the pub had shut down by then. It was like a wave of curiosity had engulfed him as well.

  ‘Dude, everyone has a bitter past. We all go through so much in life. We should not cry over past memories but learn from them. The best thing about the worst time of your life is that you get to see the truth behind everyone you’ve ever cared for. If you think you’re okay with sharing your story with us, then please do. We’d love to hear it.’