That thought barely passed through Jimmy’s mind before Eli buried his fingers in Jimmy’s hair and held him in place. Eli writhed beneath him. Jimmy had to know. His hand slid lower. Eli was hard and ready for him. Jimmy’s mood transformed from sheer terror and fury to turned on in an instant. He realized he was probably leaving a hickey on Eli’s neck. That couldn’t be good for the man’s job. Jimmy moved lower, going for his collarbone instead. Eli’s inner thighs brushed Jimmy’s bare hips as he cradled Jimmy against his body. Their erections bumped. A groan tore from Jimmy’s throat.
“Damn, Eli. Run away with me. I’ll keep you all to myself on a secluded island.”
Eli’s grip tightened on Jimmy’s hair. “Don’t tease me with things I can’t have.” Jimmy froze. His chin lifted. There was a flush riding high on Eli’s cheeks. The man’s eyes flashed with heat.
“I’m no tease,” Jimmy said, holding Eli’s stare. “If ever I make you an offer you’re willing to accept, speak up, because I mean everything I say to you.”
“Is there an offer open for you to kiss me?”
Jimmy didn’t hesitate shooting forward and covering Eli’s mouth with his. This man was too fucking amazing for Jimmy. Only moments earlier, Jimmy had been on the verge of snapping Eli’s neck, and still, Eli begged for a kiss. Being with Eli was humbling. They were the relationship he didn’t deserve.
“I’m so sorry,” Jimmy said between kisses. “Swear I would never hurt you. Swear it,” Jimmy repeated, needing Eli to understand he’d never forgive himself for marring this man’s skin.
“I’m not afraid.”
Eli’s claim did nothing to ease Jimmy’s guilt. It only took the briefest glance in Eli’s eyes to understand the man didn’t care if he lived another day. He didn’t fear Jimmy, but not for any sane reason. Pulling away, Jimmy held Eli’s gaze as he reached between them, palming their cocks. Eli’s lips parted on a gasp.
“Ask me for anything. I’d give you the world.” It was the least Jimmy could do after almost killing the man. At least, that was what Jimmy told himself. It couldn’t be Eli’s beautiful eyes and gorgeous soul pulling him in, making him want things he’d never craved before.
“Jimmy,” Eli said on a breath.
Jimmy released his dick and concentrated on Eli’s. His pleasure didn’t matter any longer. This wasn’t about sex. It was about survival. Jimmy kneaded Eli’s cock as he slipped lower. In his life, he’d been taught a trick or two. He’d learned the only way he could live with the nightmares was to turn them into something good; barring that, he’d drown it in liquor. Today, he had an opportunity to use those skills to tie Eli into knots—addict him to Jimmy’s touch.
Before Eli, Jimmy had never touched an innocent. He feared if he did, he’d lose his shit, but it hadn’t happened. Instead, hope filled him. Eli felt like a second chance. As Jimmy settled between Eli’s thighs, with the man’s legs thrown over his shoulders, Jimmy knew just where to start.
Eli’s hips left the bed, seeking more, and letting Jimmy know exactly how turned on he was. That was good. He knew Eli would be too sore for sex, but not this. Grabbing the man’s ass cheeks, Jimmy spread them wide and dove in. He tongued the asshole that had nearly crippled him hours earlier. A strangled sound came from Eli’s throat. Jimmy bit back a smile. He could still remember the first time anyone had tongued his ass. Squeezing his eyes closed, Jimmy pushed the darkness from his mind and focused on the present.
With Eli’s ass soaked with spit, Jimmy pushed one finger past the tight ring of muscles surrounding Eli’s asshole. He wouldn’t try for more. This was about pleasure. It was about addiction. Curling his finger, he found the soft mound inside Eli that would drive him nuts and pressed. Eli scratched at his shoulders. Jimmy smiled as he kept up the torture. He sucked the man’s balls between his lips and added to the pleasure. Jimmy intentionally ignored Eli’s erection, driving his need higher. By the time Jimmy pressed a light kiss to Eli’s cock, Eli cries sounded closer to pain than pleasure. He circled the man’s crown with his tongue, swiping away the salty pre-cum. A hum rose in Jimmy’s throat as the flavor coated his tongue. Turned-on male was his favorite meal.
Moving slowly, Jimmy allowed Eli’s dick to slide across his tongue until it hit the back of his throat. He swallowed him down. His scalp burned as Eli gripped his hair, attempting to hold him in place. Jimmy’s cock leaked on the bed. He fucking loved having his hair pulled. That was why he kept it long. For a moment, he forgot his plan to torture Eli. His motions became frenzied. He sucked with no skill. Cheeks hollowed and moans of pleasure surrounding Eli’s dick was all he was about. A loud hitched breath bounced off the walls of his bedroom, bringing Jimmy back to reality. Eli’s muscles stiffened beneath him as he braced himself for explosion. Jimmy pulled away and tightened his fist on Eli’s cock, cutting off the orgasm.
A cry of denial escaped the man beneath him. Jimmy made shushing noises against his stomach, doing his best to soothe him.
“Trust me,” Jimmy whispered against Eli’s skin. He didn’t know if Eli heard. His focus was locked on reading the man’s body. Giving a man multiple orgasms was an art. It took perfect timing. The instant Eli’s breathing slowed, Jimmy released his hold and swallowed Eli’s erection. His throat burned from the abuse. Jimmy ignored it as he allowed the man’s cock to saw in and out of his mouth. He kept his cheeks hollowed, intent on one goal—Eli’s orgasm. When it hit, semen exploded into Jimmy’s mouth, overwhelming him. He lost some hair and skin in Eli’s attempt to hang on. The man’s orgasm went on and on with Jimmy doing his best to swallow the salty juices filling his mouth. It ran down his chin and onto Eli’s stomach.
Jimmy swiped his face on Eli’s skin, wiping away the moisture as he climbed the man’s body. Eli was limp and gasping for air. Without a qualm, he covered the man’s mouth with his, making Eli search harder for oxygen. Their kiss was sweet to the point it made Jimmy’s eyes burn. He’d been here before—with a spent man beneath him. An exhausted kiss that held promise of reward. The last time, the only time other than Eli, he’d finished their kiss by slitting the man’s throat and walking away.
*
Jimmy sprang from the bed. In his shock, Eli watched the gorgeous male eat up the floor with his stride as he left Eli alone. Jimmy had been hard all over and looked more deadly than Eli had ever seen. His body felt like it was made of gelatin. Eli’s brain screamed for him to rush after Jimmy, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. His progress was slow, but Eli made up time by not bothering with clothes. He found Jimmy standing in the kitchen, staring into space. The man’s nude body was beautiful. His hard cock stood proud, even if Jimmy’s mind was no longer there.
As if snapping back to life, Jimmy threw open the freezer door and pulled out a bottle of Jack. He stared at it. After a moment of studying the bottle, as if it was foreign to him, Jimmy tossed it back inside.
“I have to take you to work, and I swore I wouldn’t drink and drive anymore.”
Jimmy closed the door and set his forehead upon it. Eli looked on, unsure of what to do or what happened. He startled as Jimmy slammed his head against it, as if trying to beat the monsters into submission. Eli’s heart stopped before racing to life again.
He recognized Jimmy’s futile act for what it was. So many times in the past, he’d been there. No one could help.
Eli cleared his throat. “My dad used to call me unstable. He said I wasn’t right in the head, and that’s why he needed to beat the crazy out of me.” With his forehead still pressed against the freezer, Jimmy tilted his chin, meeting Eli’s gaze, letting Eli know he had the man’s attention. “He was right,” Eli said, pushing the words past his lips before he choked on them. “You don’t know me, Jimmy. Not really. I’m not…” Eli swallowed and tried again. “You’re wasting your time with me. If this rage is somehow due to me, you can stop. I’m not worth it.” He turned away, determined to find his clothes and a way home. In spite of his addictions, Jimmy was good. Eli had meant every word. He w
asn’t worth this.
Before he made it three steps, Jimmy overcame him. His arms encircled Eli before hauling him back against his solid chest. He held Eli in place. “This isn’t about you,” Jimmy said against the shell of Eli’s ear. The breath caressing Eli’s ear had chill bumps breaking out across his skin. “People say life makes or breaks you,” Jimmy continued. “I get up every day and get on with it, but I’m broken. I shattered a long time ago. When people say that, they don’t tell you that even demolished, you’ll keep living. Beyond all scientific explanation, you keep breathing with lungs that no longer work.” Tears pressed at the backs of Eli’s eyes. He knew. Jimmy didn’t have to say a word. He got it. “Your legs move as they should, even after your knees are taken out from beneath you. Beyond all logic, blood flows through your veins even though your heart is gone. That’s what you’ll sign on for with me—nothing.”
Eli swallowed hard, trying to speak past the huge weight crushing his windpipe. “I’ve had less than nothing for years. As I said earlier, I’m not afraid.”
“So be it,” Jimmy said, sweeping Eli’s feet from the floor and heading for the bedroom.
Chapter 6
Where the corner met the ceiling in his office held Jimmy fascinated. In truth, he didn’t see anything other than an image of Eli in his mind. He recognized he was slowly becoming obsessed. It was out of his control. The poor guy had been so damn tired when Jimmy took him home to change before taking him to work. Jimmy had almost felt bad for keeping the man up all night… almost.
The strong scent of liquor tainted the air, wafting from the bar into his office. Jimmy’s muscles clenched. His brain itched and he considered chewing on the edge of his desk like a beaver to give his mouth something to do. He’d had a beer right after dropping Eli off at work. Now, he had less than two hours left before he needed to pick the man up. He couldn’t drink.
Logan appeared in the doorway, saving Jimmy from gnawing any furniture in two. As usual, the blond was smiling. He was the happiest person Jimmy had ever met, but seriously, he should be. Jimmy had a bad feeling this shit-eating grin had to do with him rather than Logan’s overabundance of blessings.
“So… Eli?”
Yep. He’d called it. Jimmy didn’t take the bait. Instead, he waited for Logan to get to the point. Leaning back in his chair, Jimmy crossed his arms over his chest and focused on Logan.
Undeterred, Logan hovered over Jimmy’s desk. “Where’s he at today?”
“Work,” Jimmy said, keeping his voice bland and hoping his joy of talking about all things Eli didn’t bleed through.
“Where is work?”
“Hollow Edge.”
A line appeared between Logan’s brows. “Never heard of it.”
“It’s a clothing store,” Jimmy said, still trying not to smile.
“So…” Logan said again. This time, he trailed his fingers across the top of Jimmy’s desk, as if he was trying to appear like he wasn’t prying. “How long have you been seeing this guy? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with anyone. Even when Malik said you were dating some guy from the gym, I never saw a trace of him, but now you’re with Eli. I’m not being nosey,” Logan said the words fast as if that made them true.
He tried not to laugh. Even though Jimmy was Logan’s boss, he considered the man a friend. It would’ve been odd if he hadn’t asked questions. “We’ve been seeing each other on and off for three years now.” Jimmy swallowed down a chuckle as the words left his lips. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. He’d met Eli three years ago, seen him for less than an hour, and then again three weeks ago. The problem was—Jimmy hated when people got in his business. No matter how much he liked them. “Anyhow,” Jimmy said, changing the subject as he saw an answer to something that had been bothering him all day. “I’d like to do something special for him for his birthday. Do you have any suggestions? I’m not good at these things.”
Logan smirked. “Is it his eighteenth?” Regret passed over Logan’s features. He winced. “Sorry. It’s not like me to judge. I’m not sure what happened there.” Logan cleared his throat, still looking horrified. It was penance enough. “What sort of things does Eli like?”
“Books,” Jimmy answered without hesitation. “He loves to read.”
“Well, there you go,” Logan said as if the matter was settled. “Book lovers are easy to buy for.”
Jimmy shook his head. “It has to be more than books. This is important.”
Logan’s expression transformed, as if he realized how serious Jimmy was about this. “Whoa. Wait. Are you sober?”
Taking the band from his wrist, Jimmy pulled his hair up into a messy bun to avoid looking at Logan as he answered. “Yeah. I have to pick Eli up from work in a couple of hours.”
“Whoa,” Logan repeated. He sat. The way Logan stared at him had Jimmy’s skin crawling.
“If you’re not helping me, then get back to work. I don’t need freeloaders.”
Logan pulled a face. “Damn. I like drunk Jimmy better.”
Jimmy blew out a breath. “Yeah, well, I do too, but I won’t risk Eli by drinking and driving.”
Logan’s mouth fell open. “Holy shit. Jimmy… you need an awesome gift for this man’s birthday.”
An exasperated sigh escaped Jimmy. “That’s what I’ve been saying for the past twenty minutes. Way to keep up, Logan. Obviously, I’m not paying you enough.”
“No need to get bitchy,” Logan muttered under his breath. “Okay, so, he likes books. Let’s start there. Who’s his favorite author?”
“T.L. Crisp.” Even Jimmy blinked at how quickly that piece of knowledge came to the surface.
Logan leaned forward and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket.
“So much for my no cell phone policy,” Jimmy bitched with no real heat.
“Hush,” Logan said without looking at him, as if he was the boss and not Jimmy. He played with the device in his hand for a minute. A smile exploded across his face. “Here we go. Talk about serendipity. T.L. Crisp is signing books tomorrow at the Atlanta Fulton Public Library. That’s like a three-hour drive from here. You should make a night of it. Drive down tonight. Get a room—preferably a nice one—and go to the signing tomorrow. Make the whole trip all about Eli. Nothing is more precious than time together, showing care for his interests.”
Jimmy thought it over. Logan’s plan wasn’t as grand-scale as he hoped, but he had to admit, it was a sweet one. “I like this.” He pushed to his feet before Logan could say anything more. “If I want to pull this off, I have a ton of shit to do before Eli gets off in two hours.”
“Go. I’ve got things covered here.”
Jimmy shoved his phone in his back pocket. “I know you do. That’s what I pay you to do.”
“Damn. I still like drunk Jimmy better.”
Since Logan didn’t sound upset, Jimmy headed for the door. “I still do too,” he muttered under his breath. Before he made it outside, Jimmy turned and focused on Logan. “Don’t take it personally. You know I love you.”
Logan pushed the chair back on two legs and glanced over his shoulder at Jimmy. “I know. That’s why I put up with you.”
Jimmy bit back a laugh. “I’ll add fifty dollars to your check this week if you don’t tell Malik and Ryan I’m sober today.”
“That piece of gossip is worth more than fifty.”
“Greedy fucker,” Jimmy said with no real heat.
“Bitch,” Logan tossed back, sounding way too pleased with himself.
It wasn’t until Jimmy climbed behind the wheel of his truck that he realized he was smiling. Not only that—Jimmy was genuinely happy for the first time in years.
*
He couldn’t stop smiling. All day, Eli had tried wiping the ridiculous grin from his face. It wouldn’t go away. For the thousandth time, Eli tried rearranging his features into some semblance of maturity. It didn’t work.
“Someone looks happy today.”
At the sound of Jimmy’s voice,
the crazy smile somehow managed to grow even bigger. Hope was a hard thing to beat into submission. In his life, Eli had never possessed so much of that emotion.
“Hey,” Eli said, sounding every bit as excited to see Jimmy as he felt.
“Hey yourself.” Jimmy set his elbows on the counter and lowered his voice for Eli’s ears alone. “I’ve never been more tempted to kiss someone and get them fired in my life.”
The world fell away. “I could clock out five minutes early, then what could they say?”
Jimmy straightened away. “I’ll wait.”
Eli headed for the back to clock out, biting his lip to hold back his smile. Still his cheeks pulled, battling it out.
Alisha blocked his path to the clock. “I have to know. Is that your boyfriend? I started to ask when he stopped by a few weeks ago but decided to mind my business. Now it’s over. I have to know,” she repeated.
The laughter escaping Eli had as much to do with his happiness as it did Alisha’s question. She’d worked by his side for almost two years. Even though they weren’t close, Alisha was the closest thing he had to a friend.
“Yes. That’s him.”
Her jaw dropped. As she visibly floundered for a response, Eli stared at her dark skin, wishing for the millionth time he had her flawlessness. “Wow, Eli. He’s… Holy shit.”
Eli wondered if a person could hurt themselves from smiling too hard. “I know.”
“Well, damn. Get to clocking out then. You need every minute of that.”
“Agreed,” Eli said, sounding breathless even to him as he stepped around her and scanned his time card. He moved to rejoin Jimmy. Alisha called out, stopping him.
“One day soon, I expect all the details. You understand?”
Eli dipped his chin, acknowledging her words even as he prayed that day never came. There were some things he never intended to share. How he’d met Jimmy was one.
*
Jimmy was damn near to dancing in place by the time Eli reappeared. His level of happiness had hit ridiculous upon seeing the man again. Eli’s maroon-colored sweater and khakis molded to his skin, revealing a package Jimmy wanted to unwrap. The smile he’d been wearing when Jimmy walked into the store had him ready to jump the counter and claim the man’s mouth. As he watched Eli crossing the room, Jimmy had to force himself to wait.
Unstable (Hooked Book 4) Page 6