Love, Lies & Consequences

by Frazier, Natasha D.

  “No, don’t do that. Remember, I don’t want to bring any extra attention to either of us. Thank you for everything,” she said, grabbing her things to get out of the car.

  Grabbing her hand before she reached to let herself out, he asked, “Can I see you later? I know you’re leaving tomorrow, but I really would like to see you again before you go.”

  “Sure. I should have a pretty short workday today as I’m wrapping things up out here. I will call you when I make it back to my hotel room.”

  “Thanks. I’m going to stick around town. I will probably go practice on my game and wait for you to call me,” Joshua said leaning forward for a kiss.

  “I look forward to it,” she said as she placed a quick kiss on his lips and hopped out of the car. Tammy felt so relaxed and optimistic; she was bound to have a great day.

  She only worked half a day and went back to her hotel room to call Josh. Before she could make a call, her phone started ringing. She was giddy thinking that Joshua was calling to check on her.

  Looking at the caller ID, she became concerned. It was her mom. Her mom never called in the middle of the day. With shaky hands, she answered the phone. Her concern grew as she heard the reason for the call—her grandmother was sick again and the doctors thought it would probably be a good idea to call the family in. Tammy moved mechanically to sit on the edge of the bed as she listened to the details her mother was giving her. Immediately her world shifted.

  Her grandmother practically raised her as she stayed with her during the summers when her mom and dad were working. She had just spoken to her about a week ago and she seemed fine. But now the lung cancer had taken a turn for the worse and Tammy had to make sure she got home in time. She immediately packed her things, checked out of the hotel and hailed a taxicab to the airport. She didn’t even think to call Josh because she was so preoccupied with the reality that she might never see her grandmother alive again. While in the taxi, she called the airline to see when the next available flight would be. The flight was in two hours and there were five seats left. They changed her ticket for her while she was en route. That was just enough time for her to get to the airport, check her bags, go through security and wait to board the flight.

  She wasn’t prepared for this at all. She couldn’t compose herself and she allowed the tears to flow as she sat in the airport terminal waiting to board her flight.

  Tammy sent a text to Raegan letting her know that she would be arriving early and asked if she would be able to pick her up. After confirming everything with Raegan, she tried to relax as much as possible. She had a two-and-a-half-hour flight back home and she prayed to God that He would allow her to get there in enough time to see Granny once more, since her health was failing fast. As soon as she finished praying, she received another phone call, but from her cousin this time, updating her on their granny’s condition.

  “How does she look?” Tammy asked. She remained still, holding her breath, in an effort to brace herself for her cousin’s response.

  “She doesn’t look good, Tammy. But she’s still alert and talking, and doesn’t seem to be in much pain. And she’s asking for you. Are you coming home today?”

  “Yes, I’m actually on the next flight out of here.”

  “Okay, please be careful. Granny knows you’re coming; she is going to hang on for you. You know that.”

  Why do people say things like that? she thought. How do they know? It was so nerve wracking and frustrating. She was starting to get a headache from worry. Just then, a flight attendant came over the speaker asking passengers to prepare to board. She was happy that she was able to keep her first-class seating; she didn’t feel like waiting to board the plane today.

  The flight was pretty smooth and without incident. She arrived at baggage claim to find that Raegan was waiting for her with open arms. Raegan squeezed her tight as if to let her know that it was okay to cry.

  “Listen to me Tammy; it’s going to be all right. You have me to lean on if you need to do so. Let’s get you to the hospital,” Raegan said as she and her friend walked arm in arm out of the baggage claim area and to her car.

  At the hospital, Raegan walked with Tammy to her grandmother’s room. Tammy’s feet were feeling heavier and her heart was thumping so loudly that she could feel the pulsation in her ears. She was so afraid to lose her grandmother but she was also very sad for her mom. Her mom was her grandmother’s youngest child and also the closest one to her. She had spent the last few months taking care of her during her illness. This was going to be so hard for both of them.

  When they arrived at her grandmother’s room, Raegan told her that she would be outside in the hallway if Tammy needed her. Raegan released her friend’s arm and watched as she slowly entered the cold room. Raegan took a seat outside in the hallway and waited.

  “Hey Granny, I’m here,” Tammy said, trying her best to smile through her pain. She walked timidly into the room as if the sound of her footsteps would set off some sort of alarm.

  “How are you baby? Come on over here and let me look at you,” her grandmother said. She edged closer to the bed and her grandmother’s slender fingers grabbed hers as if she knew she would never hold her hands again. “You look so good. I still can’t understand how you walk around in those high heel shoes all the time. I never could do that,” she said in between long ragged breaths.

  Tammy couldn’t hold back the tears. She quickly wiped away the tears that escaped from her eyes and placed her hands back into her granny’s hands. She wanted to be strong for her grandmother but everyone knew what would soon happen. It would be the end for them but the beginning of peace for Granny.

  Her grandmother placed her hands on Tammy’s cheek and asked her not to cry, encouraging her by telling her that everything would be all right.

  “I’m going to see my Lord, baby,” Her grandmother said, smiling weakly. She recalled hearing her grandmother sing that line many times while growing up.

  The cancer had really gotten the best of her as she could tell by looking at the thin hospital gown clinging to her grandmother’s body. Tammy was heartbroken. How could it have come to this? Not her Granny.

  The doctor came into the room to examine Tammy’s grandmother. Tammy stepped out of the room for a moment because it was too much for her to stomach. She slumped down beside Raegan in the empty chair and breathed a long sigh.

  “What do you do when death is so close that you can feel it? It is hard to imagine what it feels like to know you’re going to die. I know that we all have to leave this earth someday, but I don’t think I’m ready for Granny to go. Life will seem so empty without her,” Tammy spoke softly to Raegan in between sobs.

  Raegan smiled at her. That was all she could do because she didn’t have any words. She placed her arm around her friend’s shoulders and squeezed tightly, hoping to reassure her that everything would be fine. Raegan had lost both of her grandmothers, so she knew exactly what Tammy was feeling. She even lost one of them to lung cancer as well. They both sat there in silence. Feeling helpless. Not knowing what to do or what to say. No power to make time stop and give Tammy her granny for years to come.

  “Raegan, will you pray for my family?” Tammy requested.

  “Of course I will; you know that,” Raegan assured her.

  “I mean, right now. Will you pray? The only comfort I know is in God’s power, presence and promises,” Tammy said, dabbing her wet eyes with an already tear stained napkin.

  “No problem,” Reagan said as she and Tammy grabbed hands, bowed their heads and closed their eyes.

  “Heavenly Father, thank You for Your power and for the promises of Your Word. Thank You for Your Son Jesus who defeated death. In the name of Jesus, we come asking that You comfort Tammy’s family and give them peace in the midst of their storm. We ask that You give them understanding where there is none. We ask that You begin the healing of their broken hearts right now. We believe by faith that Granny Rose will be with You when she leaves us
because we believe that for the Christian to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Oh, how we love You and bless Your name. We give glory to You my God! We thank You for her life and all that she has taught. We pray that You help us to hold on to the sweet memories and times that her family had with her. In Jesus’ name, we ask that her transition be pain free and that You accept Your angel back unto You. Amen.”

  Raegan prayed and squeezed her friend’s hand and gave her another hug as she closed the prayer. She opened her eyes to find Tammy’s eyes filled with more tears and Tammy’s mom, cousins and brother all standing around praying with them. She empathized with them and truly hoped that they would get through the pain that they were experiencing. Raegan hugged each of them and said good-bye to give Tammy’s family privacy.

  CHAPTER 29

  ∞

  While getting ready for her date with Rico, Raegan rehearsed how she would bring up the situation regarding him sending such a huge amount of money to his mother every month and how that would play into their future.

  She thought it wise to also bring up the idea that they should both pull their credit reports so that they could have an open, candid discussion about finances. She hoped that this talk would go over well, but if it didn’t, she felt like it would give her some indication of where their relationship was truly headed. And an out to be with Caleb. Perhaps this would help her see what he was all about and if he truly wanted a lasting relationship with her. She was thirty years old and she didn’t want to spend time in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted to have children someday, and based on her biological clock that day needed to be in the next few years. She didn’t want to be forty years old chasing a toddler around the house.

  Her rehearsal was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He was right on time, 6:30. She went to the door, anxious. She wasn’t nervous because of the date but because of what this date could mean. The conversation could possibly tear them apart. After all, she had read statistics that indicate many marriages end over financial problems; and she didn’t want that to be her. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

  “Hey babe!” she said in her sweet New York City accent. Although she was from Florida, no one would ever know it based on the way she pronounced her words. Opening the door to welcome him inside, she only needed to grab her jacket and shoes so that they could make their reservation in time.

  “Thank you for being ready,” Rico commented, because he usually had to wait while Raegan did one last thing before they went out on a date.

  “You’re welcome. I told you that I would try,” she said with a sly wink. She grabbed her things and walked back to the door to set the alarm. “Let’s go.”

  It was a beautiful day in November—perfect for her little black dress. Her T-strapped pumps were the icing on the cake.

  “You look amazing this evening,” Rico said, opening the car door for her.

  “Thank you,” she said, flashing a bright smile as she slid into the car. A smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes because she was a little preoccupied with thoughts of Caleb. “Where are we going?”

  “We’re going to Three Forks. It’s a very nice steakhouse downtown,” Rico said as he waited for Raegan to get situated in the car.

  “Sounds nice. I haven’t been there before.”

  “Well this will be a first time for the two of us.” Rico chose this restaurant because the likelihood of him seeing anyone who knew his secret was slim. The restaurant also had very dim lighting, making it easy to miss a familiar face, which is what he needed. He decided to take part of his friend’s advice and be more careful about showing Raegan off all over town.

  The drive into town was filled with meaningless chatter about their work weeks, plans for the holidays and different restaurants they’d tried in the area. Upon arriving at the restaurant, Rico pulled up in front of the valet stand, stepped out of his seven-year-old black Buick Regal and walked around to open the door for Raegan.

  He escorted her into the restaurant, stopping short at the entrance to give the hostess his last name because he had made reservations. Raegan noted the dim lighting throughout the restaurant with beautiful paintings on the wall. Jazz music played softly in the background accompanied by soft chatter from the patrons. Fancy, she thought.

  “Welcome. Is this your first time here?” the hostess asked. She was dressed in a black sheath dress with a gold plated name tag that read “Sheila.”

  “Yes, it is, for both of us,” Rico said, gently rubbing his hand down Raegan’s back. She had to catch herself because she nearly cringed at his touch.

  What is wrong with me? She thought.

  “We have some of the best steak in town and I’m not saying that because I work here,” she said as she escorted them to their table. Their table was adorned with black tablecloth and tea candles. It was romantic, Raegan thought. “Here you go. Table for two. Your server will be right over to take your order. Please enjoy your dinner and your time here with us,” she said, handing the menus to them as she walked away.

  “Great choice. This seems like a really nice place. I hope the food tastes just as good,” Raegan said, taking in the atmosphere of the restaurant.

  “I agree. One of my coworkers told me about this place so I figured I would bring my future wife here to enjoy it.”

  “Future wife, huh? You know you keep saying that, don’t you?” Raegan thought this was a perfect opportunity to bring up the issues she’d been rehearsing all evening.

  “Of course, because it’s true. I know we were meant to be together,” Rico said with absolute certainty.

  “Okay, let’s talk about that a little then. Where do you see us in five years?” she started. She knew he would somehow open the door to discuss their future and now she had him right where she wanted him. She sat up straight in her seat and looked intently into his eyes. She wanted him to know that she was serious and that it was time to put his talking to the test.

  “By then, we’ll already be married, hopefully working on baby #2. Our careers will be going well, we’ll have new cars, a big home—”

  Cutting him off, she said, “All of that? What are your career plans? You know everything that you just described takes plenty of money, right?”

  “Yep, when we put our money together, we’re going to be ballin’,” he said, making some weird gesture with his mouth.

  “Okay, so let’s talk about the money that you send your mom every month,” she said, taking the conversation in a more serious direction. If they were seriously talking about making things work, she needed to know that he would have her best interest in mind and that she wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not her and her family would be taken care of because he was sending a couple thousand dollars to his mother every month.

  “What about it?” he asked slightly offended. A slight frown appeared on his face as he leaned back in his seat. He couldn’t believe she was questioning him about what he did with his money.

  “How much do you send her again? And how long do you plan on doing this?” she asked, eyes locked on him, waiting to hear what he was going to say. She didn’t want to miss anything.

  “I send her fifteen hundred dollars every month and not because I have to but because I want to. She is my mother and she has taken care of me all of her life without any help from my father, so I think she deserves that much. I don’t know how long I will continue to send it to her. Why?” he asked, sounding aggravated. Although he sent money to his mother, he had other obligations in his life that had a hold on his finances. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to live this double life.

  “If we’re talking about really being together, don’t you think it’s important that we talk about finances? Fifteen hundred dollars leaving our household every month is a pretty large chunk of change,” she added.

  “Well it may be but that’s my mom,” he said. His voice clearly echoed his annoyance at her line of questioning. His e
yebrows wrinkled. “She is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle now; I’m not about to take that away from her. Not for you or anyone else,” he said through clenched teeth.

  “So how am I supposed to know that you will put the needs of our family above everyone else’s? It is important to me to know that our family comes first. I’m not saying that we cannot help your mother if she needs help, but I don’t think I’m comfortable with that much.”

  “Honestly, I didn’t ask whether or not you were comfortable with it.” His mood shifted.

  “Let me guess. You aren’t comfortable pulling your credit report either?” she asked, becoming equally agitated.

  “Who said anything about that?” She must be insane, he thought. There was no way he was going through all of that with her. He hadn’t even given her a ring. Things were good between them but she was definitely moving too fast.

  “I just did. Remember, I think that we should be open about our financial information so that we won’t be blindsided with financial issues after the I dos.”

  “Raegan, you can miss me with all of that nonsense.” He felt like she was way out of bounds. Sure, he spoke of marrying her one day but he didn’t need her in his business this way. His financial situation was just that—his. He didn’t think they were anywhere near a place to be talking about things as serious as that.

  Raegan was appalled. She couldn’t believe he was carrying on as if talking about anything marriage related was new. He brought up the subject all the time. Leaning her head to one side and squinting her eyes, she resolved to give him a piece of her mind in the nicest way possible.

  Wagging her index finger at him, she said, “Really? Five minutes ago you were talking about me being your future wife but now that I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, I can miss you with it?” She continued without giving him a chance to speak. “Please don’t go around talking about how you want to get married when you don’t really want to get married. I think you just like the idea of a wife, kids and home. All of that comes with a price, dude. So how about you miss me with all of that marriage talk! The nerve of you,” she said growing furious at the fact that she had listened to his talk for the last couple of months. Bastard! She thought to herself. She really wanted to use harsher words that were way outside of her character but decided against it. She knew right then and there that he wasn’t worth the energy.