“You mean this God of yours took away the pain?” Babs was frankly disbelieving, but at least she was listening.
“No, Babs.” Honor faced her guest steadily. “The pain is there, but God has given me extra strength so I can live with it.” She was encouraged by Babs’s face, the almost reluctant fascination.
“Haven’t you ever stayed awake at night, Babs, wondering what life is all about? Haven’t you ever been so lonely you would have gladly traded everything you have to have one friend close enough to share your deepest feelings with? Haven’t you ever been let down so badly, even by Phillip, you wondered if life was worth living?” She could see her shot had struck home. “God doesn’t let people down. I know that now. He sent His Son to show us the best and only way to live.” She broke off. What she said could be crucial at this point. She prayed silently for guidance.
Babs was no longer cynical or laughing. “Then you believe God controls everything in your life and that it’s all for a purpose?”
Honor hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “Only when we accept that we are under God’s control. So long as we go our way, feeling we are in charge, we step out from under His protection….” She searched for a parable. “If we were walking together down the street under an umbrella and I deliberately chose to step out from under it, I would be subject to the storm.”
“But Christians still have storms in their lives.” Babs’s green eyes were more speculative than antagonistic. “Why doesn’t God take better care of those who worship Him?”
For an instant Honor thought of James’s lightly asking how she knew it wasn’t God’s will for her to marry him instead of Phillip. A spasm of regret chased shadows into her eyes. “Sometimes God does send trials, Judge Bell says. I really think, though, that most of the time we bring them to ourselves when we refuse to follow Him.”
Babs slowly rose. “Glad I came.” So few words in response to the message of salvation.
Honor’s heart sank as she hesitated then said, “Babs, it wasn’t until after my wedding I stopped rebelling against God and accepted Christ. I can honestly say it’s made all the difference in the world. If you want real happiness you will seek God and help Phillip do the same.” There! It was out.
Babs looked amazed. “I’d have thought you were—” Her face flushed. “I won’t say it. I’ll think about it, Honor.”
“Don’t wait too long.” Honor could feel the strain in her voice. “Good night, Babs.” Prey to her own emotions, Honor still rejoiced. At least some of the bitterness and suspicion Babs carried for her had gone. Would she consider what Honor had said? Troubled by her own flippant remarks to James, desiring to share the Lord she had ignored so long, and concerned over wondering if she could ever become the kind of witness she wanted to be, she restlessly wandered around her room then donned her riding habit for the second time that day. Jingles was much better now. Maybe she could either lead him or ride a little on the path near the house.
Cautiously she slipped downstairs and out the door, noting it was ajar. How strange Juan had not locked it as usual! Was someone else prowling? She laughed at her groundless fears. Why get panicky over an unlocked door?
The moon was bright as she walked toward the corral, keeping her head turned back over her shoulder. Why should she feel as if she had been observed slipping from the house? Intent on watching the front door she ran smack into a solid, tall figure in riding clothes.
“Phillip!”
There was a slight sound then the man pushed back his sombrero and grinned sardonically. “Sorry to disappoint you, Mrs. Travis. Not Phillip. Just your husband.” James Travis stood bareheaded before her.
How maddening! Now what did he believe about her? Honor wasn’t long in finding out.
“Why did you invite Babs here? As a cover? Seems like you could wait a bit before sneaking out to meet Phillip!”
“I did not come out to meet Phillip!”
“Oh?” She could see his lip curl even in the moonlight. “Then what, may I ask, are you doing running around the ranch in the middle of the night?”
Her voice quivered. “Maybe you can’t understand how hard it is for me to be here.” Mistaking his silence for disbelief, she stumbled on. “How would you like to live in a place where you were watched, mistrusted? How would you like to have someone spying on you all the time, waiting for you to make a mistake?”
“I was not spying. I have every right to be here. I live at Casa del Sol—or haven’t you noticed?”
“I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed how everyone around here jumps without even asking how high when you speak. Phillip—”
“So you’re still in love with him!”
She ignored the savage way he cut the air with his riding crop. “I am not in love with him! That doesn’t mean I can’t see what you are too blind to notice. Phillip worships you, wishes with all his heart and soul he could be like you! He envies your strength, longs to be able to take control as you do—”
“And covets my wife.”
“He does not! You were right: he never loved anyone but Babs. I was a passing fancy, like all the rest.” She paused for breath. “I hope Phillip and Babs marry and get as far away from you as possible. You don’t know how to love anyone but yourself!”
It was curious what strange tricks moonlight could play. For an instant she could have sworn a terrible pain crossed the face above her. There was something deadly in his voice as he softly asked, “Oh? Have you so soon forgotten?” She was inexorably being drawn to him. Her cry of protest was smothered by his kiss, gentle at first, then demanding. When he lifted his face from hers she was exhausted.
“Good night, Mrs. Travis.” With giant strides he was at the corral. Before Honor could move he had cut out Sol, leaped to his bare back, and disappeared around the bend in the moonlight.
Chapter 10
As she had done so many times before, Honor stood by her window, gazing down with unseeing eyes. The autumn leaves that used to greet her were gone. They had been replaced with a soft white mantle that had come during the night. She had seldom seen snow in San Francisco. Even if it did fall, the shining veil soon melted, leaving no trace of its coming. Here it meant stillness beyond belief. Every twig proudly bore its new winter garb, shining in the sun that had come out to beam on the scene.
Two laughing figures ran into view, hand in hand. Babs’s scarlet coat was a brilliant spot against the all-white background. Honor smiled in sympathy as Babs’s silvery laugh ran out. The change in their redheaded guest in the weeks since she had come to visit Casa del Sol was incredible. And Phillip! Honor couldn’t stem the tide of warmth flooding her. Gradually Phillip Travis was growing up after all the years of childish self-indulgence.
“Come on out, Honor!”
She shook her head but called from her window. “I have something else to do. Maybe later.”
“Sissy!” Babs’s upturned, laughing face glowed. She snatched a handful of snow and threw it upward as Honor slammed down the window. If only she could be out there with them! If only James…But her husband was more unapproachable than ever. She had thought after the night by the corral things might get better. He was courteous, nothing more. He treated her exactly the way he treated Babs. If he noticed Phillip’s and Babs’s speculative gazes he ignored them.
Only once had he unbent. Phillip had insisted on being given more responsibility around the ranch. Reluctantly James had assigned him work, and it had been done well. James had sought out Honor.
“I just wanted to say I appreciate your telling me how Phillip feels.” His voice was husky. “I believe he and Babs will marry and live on the ranch. I also believe they can be happy here.” James had wheeled and left the room before Honor could reply.
“Hey, Honor!” Phillip’s call drew her back to the window. He was lugging a huge old-fashioned sled that he must have discovered in the barn. “We’re going to the big hill out back. Want to come?”
Honor’s determination not to b
e a third party weakened. Babs was smiling and beckoning. It was too much. In a spirit of gay recklessness she threw wide her window. “Be right down!” In moments she was bundled into a heavy winter coat James had brought home from a trip to Flagstaff and sent to her by Carlotta. She snuggled in its warmth. Dark green evergreen spires tipped with snow enticed. Why worry on a day like this?
It was the most glorious day she could remember. The snow was perfect, packing down the way it had on sled hills when she was a child. Each time she raced downhill was a thrill. Sometimes alone, or with Babs—sometimes all three of them. The great whoosh! across the surface, growing speed, pelting down, and the final slowing and long uphill climb.
“I’ve never been happier,” Babs confided as she and Honor pulled the big sled up the long hill after a particularly exhilarating slide. Her cheeks were redder than her coat, with no need for paint.
“It shows.” Honor smiled at the other girl.
“I know.” Babs’s teeth gleamed. “Phillip asked me last night to marry him, on one condition.” Honor could feel herself begin to tense as Babs continued. “He wants to live on the ranch. No more playboy stuff. He certainly has changed since we came here.”
“What about you, Babs?”
“Me, too.” She grinned impishly at Honor. “Thanks to you. When I saw how much Phillip appreciated your simplicity I decided to take stock of myself. That’s why I spent so many hours alone at the South Rim.”
Honor scarcely dared breathe. “And?”
“And I decided you weren’t for real.” She laughed at the disappointment in Honor’s face. “Don’t look so shocked. That was then. Since I’ve been here I know it’s real. Someday maybe I’ll even have you introduce me to your Friend.” There was no mistaking her meaning.
Honor’s heart swelled. It was worth all the pain and trouble she had gone through to hear Babs say that. “Don’t wait too long.”
“I won’t.” Babs twisted the emerald, now worn on her left hand. “I want to talk to Phillip about some things, and—”
“Hurry with the sled, you two! Winter will be over before you get here!” Further confidences were broken, but Babs’s warm smile as she broke free and ran the few remaining steps up the hill promised other talks.
Honor trudged slowly, filled with her own thoughts. So Babs and Phillip would marry. A flick of pain at the thought of her own shadowy romance brought a lump to her throat, but she pushed it back. Phillip and Babs were arguing when she reached them.
“Aw, Babs, it’s nothing. I’ve gone down that other side a hundred times when I was a kid.” He pointed opposite the well-beaten path they had been using to a sharper decline, dotted with green trees.
“You aren’t a kid. You don’t know what might be under all that snow.” Babs looked worried.
“I just want one trip down there.”
“Please, Phillip, don’t go.” Honor added her entreaty to Babs’s. “James has warned me so many times about the dangers on the ranch—”
“Dangers!” Phillip drew himself up in a ridiculous pose. “I know this ranch as well as I know my own bedroom.” He flung himself to the awkward sled and with his feet pushed the conveyance toward the edge of the bank.
“Stop!” The hail came from a tall man running toward them, his face a thundercloud in its command. “Don’t push off that sled!”
Honor saw the opposition roused in Phillip by James’s curt order.
“Sorry, brother! I get first ride.” With a mighty shove he pushed over the edge and started down before James could reach him. “This is the life!” His voice floated back to them, only to be drowned out. The sled must have hit a hidden snag. For one terrible moment it seemed to stand on end. Phillip was thrown downhill, sliding, arms flailing in a vain effort to stop his momentum. To the horrified gaze of the onlookers he gathered speed in spite of his efforts, smashed into a great tree, and crumpled into a heap.
“Phillip!” Heedless of his own safety, James started down the hill. His great boots sank into the snow as he went, leaving giant stride marks. Clutching at every outstretched branch, he slipped, slid, and by sheer determination stopped where Phillip lay horribly crumpled.
Babs was the first to come to her senses. “Quick! We’ll get help!” She grabbed Honor’s arm, shaking her back to reality. “We’ve got to get back to the house and call a doctor. Or at least get Juan and Rosa. They’ll know what to do.” Cupping her hands around her mouth she called to James, “We’re going for help.”
Fear lent wings to their feet as they raced back to the house. They burst into the kitchen. “Rosa, Phillip’s hurt. Where’s Juan?”
Concern didn’t detract from Rosa’s swift actions. “Out shoveling.” She threw open the door and called to him, waving her arms imperatively. “Juan! Quickly, Felipe is hurt!”
In moments Juan, Babs, and Honor were huddled in the big Willys as it churned through the snow down a little-used road that would bring them out only a few hundred feet below the brothers. “I’m so thankful for this heavy car,” Honor breathed.
Juan braked, stopped, and was out of the car and up the separating distance, closely followed by the two girls. James looked up to answer the unspoken question trembling on their lips. “He’s hurt—badly.” He pressed his scarf against Phillip’s head. Honor could see bright bloodstains on the snow. “We’ve got to get him to a doctor.”
“Rosa is calling one now.” Honor found her voice, but James shook his head. “We can’t wait for a doctor. We’ll take him to Flagstaff immediately.”
Honor’s involuntary protest died under the look of anguish in James’s eyes. “But how—” she faltered.
“The roads are clear.” Already Juan and James were lifting Phillip carefully, inching their way down to the car. “We’ll get him in the back where he can lie down. Mama Rosa will know what to do until we get to Flagstaff.”
It was a nightmare Honor would never forget. The seemingly endless procession to the house, the fitting of all of them in and still leaving room for Phillip to half lie down.
“Can you drive?” James whirled toward Honor. “I want Juan to help me steady Phillip.”
“Not in snow and ice.” She shivered. “I only learned here this fall.”
“I can.” Babs’s lips were white but determined. Already she was slipping into the driver’s seat. Mama Rosa stayed with the two men, pressing compresses hard on the wound spurting blood. Carlotta huddled between Babs and Honor in the front seat. There had been no question but that they would all go. It’s a family, Honor thought. My family. But there was no time to explore such thoughts.
The road to Flagstaff was icy and had not been sanded. In spite of Babs’s skillful handling of the car, it still slid now and then.
Once Babs looked across at Honor. “Now’s the time to call on that God you told me about.” There was no mockery in her words.
“I am.” Honor’s lips moved silently.
Mile after mile they traveled as fast as Babs dared. When they reached the outskirts of Flagstaff, Honor breathed normally again, but it wasn’t until they were in the emergency waiting room with Phillip on his way to surgery that some of the tenseness left her.
“He’s cut badly on his head,” the doctor told them after the first cursory examination. “He doesn’t appear to have lost too much blood. No bones appear to be broken, but…” He hesitated. “…there is always the danger of internal bleeding.”
If James Travis’s face could have gone whiter, it did. Babs stifled a little moan, and Honor reached for her hand to grip it hard. “Don’t, Babs. God will take care of Phillip. I know He will.” Something in her level look steadied Babs, who clung to her.
But James couldn’t hold back bitter words. “If there really is a God, why did He let Phillip get hurt in the first place?”
Honor’s heart sank. James would never understand. “God didn’t force Phillip to go down that hill.” James didn’t speak but turned away, leaving Honor shaken. In spite of everything, she had h
oped they could make their marriage work. But if James had no use for God, how could it ever be?
It seemed hours before the doctor returned. His face was grave. “He will live.” His words were almost lost in the gasps of relief, but the doctor’s face didn’t lighten. “He will live, but…” He looked around the little group, at James last of all. “The head wound is close to his eyes. We found a piece of bone depressed into the brain. The surgeons are working with it now. Until it is over and he wakens we just won’t know.”
“Just won’t know what?” James’s face blazed.
The doctor’s face wrinkled in sympathy. “Whether he will ever see again.”
Honor felt the shock ripple around the circle.
“Blind!” James repeated stupidly.
“There is that possibility.” The doctor gripped James’s arm. “We are doing everything humanly possible, and—”
“You said humanly possible. What else could be done?” James’s ashen face frightened Honor.
The doctor didn’t waver. “There is a power higher than man.” With another strong pressure on James’s arm he turned and left them. This time there was no mockery in James’s voice. “Honor?” He turned toward her, stumbling a bit. “Honor? You know that higher power. Will you do something?” The pleading in his eyes hurt Honor.
“I have been praying ever since the accident.”
Babs seemed to come to life. “Honor, if I promised God to live as He wants, would He save Phillip’s sight?”
Honor’s lips felt stiff. “You can’t bargain with God. All we can do is pray—and wait.”
“She’s right.” Judge Bell stood in the doorway, panting as if he had been running. Babs instinctively turned toward the kindness in his face.
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