Desert Moon
Page 29
“Honor, would you come sit down, please?” There was no spark in the request. Slowly she turned and crossed to the fire, carefully avoiding him.
“Honor, when I was in the chapel at the hospital and finally quit trying to outrun God, I made a promise.” Something in the gravity of his tone chilled her. “You had said people couldn’t bargain with God. I didn’t. I did tell Him that when it was all over I’d do what I could to make up to you for marrying you.”
For one wild moment Honor’s heart leaped. Did he mean that he had learned to care? She was frozen anew by his next words. Face half in shadow, he poked the fire again. “I have put it off, hoping something would happen to change things. Maybe I was even hoping for a miracle. I planned to wait until after the wedding tomorrow.” He threw the poker down with a little crash. “I can’t wait any longer.”
In spite of the warm room Honor shivered with premonition. Could God hear the silent prayer unconsciously going up for help?
“I can’t go on the way things are. It’s too hard having you here, knowing you despise me.”
Shocked, she opened her mouth to protest, only to have the words die on her lips as he said, “I want you to go away. The day after the wedding I’ll take you to Flagstaff. We can get the marriage annulled. I’ll settle enough finances on you so you can be independent, but I won’t keep you here any longer.”
Sheer fury overrode Honor’s sense of loss. Very slowly she rose to her feet, glaring up at the man who was her husband yet was not her husband. “So now that you’ve married me, you’ll just pack me off the way you’d discard an old pair of shoes.” She failed to understand what was in James’s eyes. “Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Travis. I won’t be shipped off and have money settled on me! I’m not leaving Casa del Sol. You don’t have to like it, but you married me for better or for worse. I’m legally your wife. There’s nothing you can do about it unless you want the whole story spread across the front page of every newspaper in Arizona.”
She paused for breath then went on. “Have you ever once considered that I don’t want to go?”
“I have considered it.” His face was still in shadow, but the words came out individually, like small, hard ice cubes hitting a tile floor. “I know you would rather live in misery than break a promise. Now that I have stopped running from God I appreciate it even more. But the promise you made was made falsely. I can’t hold you to it.”
“So you intend to dispose of me quite properly.”
For one moment she felt she had gone too far. There was a quick flash in the set face. “I told you. I can’t go on like we are now.” In one stride he came close, gripping her by the shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. “If you stay at Casa del Sol it can no longer be as a guest, Honor Travis. It will be as my wife, living with me in holy matrimony the way God intended man and woman to live.” His look seared her very soul. “Will you stay under those circumstances? Or will you go to Flagstaff the day after tomorrow, as I suggested?”
Honor’s knees felt weak. “You mean—you mean you want me to stay as your wife?”
“Want you! I have wanted you since the day I looked up to see you standing in the hall of my home.” His grip tightened. “If ever a man wanted a woman, I want you. You have brought sunlight and laughter. You have brought healing between Phillip and me. You have brought everything a man could ever want. Most of all, you have brought God into this house.” His voice had dropped almost to a whisper. “Yes, I want you here—but not as a guest.”
Honor was speechless, shaken by his passion. “Then all the time—even when you married me—it wasn’t just because you pitied me?”
“No, Honor. It was because I loved you. I didn’t know it myself at first. I tried to tell myself it was to save you from Phillip. It wasn’t. I fell in love with you the day you came.”
Honor’s senses were reeling. “But—the day we were married, when I said you probably would say you’d fallen in love with me…” Her voice failed.
“Would you have believed me?”
“Not then.”
“And now?” The clock ticked off seconds, repeating his question: And now? And now?
She was not quite ready to give in. “You said friends were people who trusted you.” She moistened her suddenly dry lips. “You said—”
An amused look cut off her stumbling speech. “I said a lot of things—some in self-defense. What I am telling you now is the truth. I love you, Honor, as I have never loved any other woman. I will never love anyone else, even if you go away.”
“Then I had better stay.”
“You know my conditions.”
“I know.”
But James wasn’t satisfied. He held her off at arm’s length. “Are you staying because you promised—because you don’t want to break vows you consider holy, even taken under the circumstances ours were made? Or is it possible that Phillip was right?”
It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to meet his searching gaze. “I don’t know what Phillip said.”
“Phillip told me weeks ago you had never loved him. You had fallen in love with what you thought he was.”
Honor didn’t answer. Her mind flashed back to the canyon; her rationalizing what Phillip might someday be; her determination to cling to him even at the expense of her own relationship with God.
“Well?”
Her eyes grew soft, but she bravely faced him. “Phillip was right.” She hurried on, disturbed by the light filling his dark face. “Carlotta asked me which man I loved. You heard her—and my answer.”
Color crept into James’s face. “It is the only hope I had these past weeks.”
Honor wasn’t finished. Her clear eyes confirmed her truthfulness. “I was attracted to Phillip, you know that. In San Francisco, at the canyon.
“When I came here to Casa del Sol I had to revamp my opinion. Where was the charming, idle man I knew? My fiancé was no longer the laughing Phillip Travis, but ‘Señor’—admired, respected, a big man doing a big job. It was hard to put the two together!
“James, I ran ahead of God, went on with the wedding, hoped for the best.” Her throat was thick with unshed tears. “I have paid. Learning to know you, feeling I was a duty—” She felt heat creep into her cheeks. “But at least God didn’t allow me to actually marry the wrong man.”
She faltered as James gently pulled her closer. “You really care, Honor? You aren’t just bound by your vows?”
A flash of mischief crossed her face. “All my childhood heroes rode white horses, just as you do.” The hope and disbelief warring in his face were too much. She discarded her pretense. “I am bound, but not only by my vows. I am bound by the love I have for you—love that is second only to my love for the Lord.”
Somewhere in the hall the clock struck twelve. Christmas Eve was over; Christmas Day had begun.
Honor closed her eyes and crept closer into her husband’s arms, feeling the solid strength of James Travis. For one magnificent moment she seemed to see down the aisle of years—laughing, weeping, loving, sharing, together—loving life with Christ the Son as head of Casa del Sol.
Colleen L. Reece was born and raised in a small western Washington logging town. She learned to read by kerosene lamplight and dreamed of someday writing a book. God has multiplied Colleen’s “someday” book into more than 150 titles that have sold six million copies. Colleen was twice voted Heartsong Presents’ Favorite Author and later inducted into Heartsong Presents’ Hall of Fame. Several of her books have appeared on the CBA Bestseller list.
If You Liked This Book, You’ll Also Like…
Love’s Story by Dianne Christner
Venture into this classic historical romance set in California from bestselling author Dianne Christner. As a female journalist, Meredith has something to prove with her big story on forest conservation. But when her heart becomes entangled, will she risk her career? Also includes a bonus story, Strong as the Redwood by Kristin Billerbeck.
Paper
back / 978-1-63409-901-1 / $9.99
The Lilac Year by Janet Spaeth
Travel to the northern prairie wilderness where this historical romance from author Janet Spaeth is set. Mariah is searching for her nephew and a quick way to leave the frontier when she meets homesteader Ben Harris. Also includes the bonus sequel, Rose Kelly.
Paperback / 978-1-63409-908-0 / $9.99
Wildflower Harvest by Colleen L. Reece
Enjoy an inspiring historical romance set in Wyoming territory from author Colleen L. Reece. Dr. Adam Birchfield risks losing love in order to keep searching for his brother. Also includes the bonus story, Desert Rose in which a woman falls in love with a man through his letters.
Paperback / 978-1-63409-907-3 / $9.99