by Lucia Ashta
Something akin to panic woke inside me, and I pushed it down, deep, where I wouldn’t have to face it. Then I looked at Jordan, a question scrawled across my face.
He smiled. “I can tell you’ve already decided you’re going to this other planet with Tanus.”
I swung my eyes over to the Princess.
She studied me right back, but finally said, “It’s all right. I won’t say I saw this all coming, but it’s what’s supposed to happen, that much is obvious.” She got up and sat down on the other side of Jordan, not bothering with seatbelts. She took his hand. “We had a chance to talk while you slept.”
From the rosy flush on her cheeks and his, they’d had the chance to do much more than talk. I tried not to be jealous.
Jordan took over, “I’ll be traveling to Origins with you all.”
“Really? You’re sure?” I asked.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s not what I had planned for my life, that’s for damn sure.” He laughed. “But sometimes the best things arrive when you least expect them. I don’t have to be on Earth, but I do have to be with this woman. And since she needs to be on Planet Origins for her people...” He shrugged. “I guess I do too.”
For the first time since she stalked into Yudelle’s home with ‘Princess of the Andaron Dynasty’ wrapped around her like a priceless cloak, she looked like a woman with a heart that broke as easily as anyone else’s. She smiled a genuine smile, the kind that lit up a room.
She looked friendly, like maybe we could become allies—in time—like we’d take this out-of-this-world twist the universe tossed our way and make the best of it—as a team of holographic replicas. Well, that was a thought I doubted anyone on else on Earth was having right now. I smiled too.
“Are you going to be leaving a lot behind?” I asked Jordan.
“Not really. A dojo and a community I worked hard to build. But that’s something I can live with stepping away from to step forward with her.”
“Are your parents still living?”
“I haven’t seen my father since I was a boy. He left my mother and me. She died a few years ago. So now it’s just friends and students. I can leave it.”
“I can live with leaving my life behind here too. It’s just my parents really, they’re the only ones I care about. I’ve been a loner all my life.”
“Which is why it feels so amazing to find the one person you want to share your life with, especially when you never imagined a life with love was meant for you.”
“I take it you’ve been a loner too then?”
“For sure. I always did well enough without loving one person.”
“Until you met her.”
“Yeah. Until I met her. Interesting that she turned out to be an alien princess.” He laughed. “I mean, wow, life is a fucking trip, isn’t it?”
“You can say that again.” The scenery was becoming familiar. “Hey, does the driver know where my parents live?”
“Aye,” Ilara said with the kind of nonchalance I assumed came from a life of royalty where people and things rearranged themselves around you at your whim.
But I wasn’t used to it. “How does he know? How did you know?”
“We didn’t,” Jordan said, “Yudelle did.”
“That woman is scary.”
“Without a doubt.”
“She probably has her own spy network.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she does.”
Jordan leaned over to kiss Ilara, and I went back to the window. How was I going to go about announcing to my parents that they might never see me again? I could just say I was going away for a while, but then they’d be disappointed or worried if I never returned. I couldn’t do that to them. They’d always been good to me. They deserved better than having their only daughter disappear from their lives without explanation.
I could fabricate a plausible story that might appease them, but did I really want to end the best relationship of my life with a lie? Even if they didn’t know it, I would, and it would eat at me. No excuse of necessity would be enough to wipe from my mind the fact that I’d lied to my parents.
Which left the truth. If only the truth hadn’t been so outlandish.
Doing my best to ignore the sounds of kissing, I said, “I want you to come inside with me.”
The Princess pulled away from Jordan. “And what exactly are you going to say? Oh, here’s my twin, the one you didn’t realize you birthed into this world?”
“Obviously I’m not going to say that.”
“Because some other explanation would be easier for them to believe? There’s no good way to explain me. You’re better off going in alone.”
“No, I want you and Jordan to come in there with me, I’m sure of it now. It’s the best way to get my parents to believe the story I tell them.”
“You’re going to tell them the whole truth?” Jordan asked, his expression mirroring Ilara’s incredulity.
“Yes, I am.” I was settling into the idea with resolve. “If I have to leave this world, then I’m going to do it on my terms. I’m going to leave with my integrity intact.”
“You don’t think it’s going to be harder for your parents like this?” Jordan said. “You do realize that you’re suggesting you’re going to tell them you’re in love with an alien and you’re returning with him to his alien planet, where another person that looks exactly like you is a princess?”
“Well obviously I’ll soften them up to the truth first. You guys can wait in the car for a bit until they’re ready, and then you can come in. Ilara will be proof that what I’m saying, no matter how unbelievable, is true. It will make it easier for them to believe once they have evidence they can see with their own eyes.”
“If you say so,” Jordan said, sounding very much like he thought it was the worst idea we’d had yet. Given the crazy ones we’d come up with lately, that was saying a lot.
“It’s going to work,” I said, and then had the rest of the long drive to convince myself that it really would. By the time we arrived at the house of my childhood, my idea seemed a terrible one, but I resolved to follow through.
“I’ll come get you as soon as I can,” I said as the driver opened the door for me.
“We’ll find a way to keep ourselves busy,” Ilara said with a naughty gleam in her eyes, and I took a second to wish I was about to have the fun she was instead of cracking my parents’ world wide open.
Jordan said, “Good luck in there. I think it’s admirable that you’re going to tell them the truth.”
“Thanks.”
The ‘virginal’ princess of O positioned herself on Jordan’s lap, not wasting any time, while I got out of the car.
The driver did a commendable job of pretending he didn’t notice that his two remaining passengers were about to get busy and that two of us looked exactly alike. Yudelle must pay her men well.
He shut the door behind me, took a few steps away from the car, and stood guard. Hands at his sides and eyes sharp, I suspected his job description extended beyond driving. Even though there was no danger here at my parents’ house, he looked ready for it.
I put him and the already-rocking car behind me and walked up the sidewalk I could walk with my eyes closed. I wouldn’t be coming back. Suddenly, I knew it. This was my last time in the comfort of home.
Because home for me was changing. Where I was going, there was no coming back—at least, not that I foresaw.
The door was worn by the life of a family over decades. The wood was smoothed flat next to the handle, where our hands had grazed thousands of times. When I knocked, the familiar sound soothed my heart, while I tried to ignore the anguish that came from knowing that I’d never hear it again.
17
“Hi Dad.”
“Honey, you’re home! What a nice surprise, a really good one, because your mom’s been worried.” He ushered me inside, tucking me against his shoulder even though I was nearly as tall as he was. “She’s been calling you and you don’t
answer your phone. You shouldn’t ignore her like that, you know how it makes her worry. Your mother worries enough without you giving her more reason for it.”
Boy, was I about to give her reason. “Sorry, Dad, I didn’t mean to. Things have been a bit crazy lately.” The understatement of the century.
“So crazy that you couldn’t make a little time to put your mom at ease? I don’t think so.” He steered me to the couch. “Take a seat for now, I’ll go get your mom and put the kettle on.”
“Dad, I don’t want to sit and have tea. I’m here to talk.”
For the first time since he opened the door to me, he really looked at me. “Oh, I see. From the look on your face, it looks like I might need to spike my tea, but there’s never a time when tea doesn’t help.”
Obviously my Irish father hadn’t lived life in my shoes. The last time I had tea, a princess from another planet who looked just like me, joined us and made my life infinitely more complicated.
But Dad was set in his ways as much as Mom was, even if he’d never admit to it, and I let him scurry off to the kitchen and then upstairs.
When he returned with Mom in tow, my eyes had grown moist looking at a photo of us. We were huddled together, in what my parents liked to call a three-way hug, and I looked happy to be sandwiched in their love. I was a girl, and life was far simpler then.
“Oh my goodness, sweetheart! You shouldn’t scare me like that. I thought something terrible had happened to you. I thought one of your dangerous storms had whisked you up and taken you away.”
She wasn’t all that far from the truth, but Dad laughed it off as part of her usual exaggeration. “She really did,” he said.
Mom squeezed me in a hug. “It’s so good to see you. You don’t come home often enough. It’s gotten down to just a few times a year. You can’t do that to your mother. I need to see you more.” Then she smiled, and I could tell she only half meant her words. She knew me well enough to realize she couldn’t rein in my wild side. She’d tried when I was a teenager and given up when I bucked against her control like a wild horse. She wouldn’t like what I had to say.
“Honey, what is it?” Dad said. “You look like you have something on your mind. What’s bothering you?”
Suddenly, I was tearing up, and that really mobilized Mom and Dad. They hadn’t seen me cry for a very long time. “Oh, sweetie,” Mom said, fluffing pillows for me on the couch. “Have a seat.” She guided me, picture frame still in my hand, and plopped down next to me.
“Get the tea, Jack,” she said. “It looks like we’re going to need an extra big pot.”
This was how my parents had solved problems for as long as I could remember. I used to roll my eyes at it, now I realized I’d miss it.
My mom pulled me into her shoulder. “What is it? Talk to me. Why is a girl as beautiful as you crying?”
“Is this about some boy?” Dad yelled from the kitchen. “Because if it is, he’ll have to answer to me.”
I laughed and cried at the same time.
“Ilara, what is it?” Mom reached for the box of tissues and plopped them on top of the picture in my lap. She stared at me. “Come on, young lady, we can’t help you if you don’t let us.”
I indulged in another minute of regret that my parents couldn’t come with me, that I’d need to leave them behind to continue this journey, and then I womanned up.
I got up from the couch, left the picture and tissues, and gently pulled my wrist from my mom’s hand as she tried to encourage me to sit.
I paced and waited. When Dad handed me a mug of steaming tea, I forced myself to begin. There was no time like the present to tell your parents you were leaving the planet. I took in a deep breath and said, “Something really, really crazy has happened to me.”
Dad smiled and settled into his chair, looking very Irish, content with his tea and his life. “Honey, crazy things are always happening to you. That’s why your mother keeps trying to talk you out of doing this storm chasing that you do.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Mom said. “You take unnecessary risks too often.”
“I won’t be chasing storms anymore.” At least, not unless there were storms on Origins and I had the free time from trying to save its people to chase them.
“Really?” Mom said, hand to her chest as if I’d just told her she won the most recent quilting competition. “You are? Why, sweetheart, that’s wonderful news! Why didn’t you just say so?”
“Because that’s not what I came here to tell you.”
“Oh?”
I took a sip of tea and discovered that my tea was actually a toddy. I smiled my gratitude at Dad. From the pink hue to his cheeks, he was enjoying a toddy too.
“Okay, look, there’s no real easy way to say this, so I’m just going to go ahead and say it—”
“You’re pregnant!” Mom said. “I just knew it was going to happen for you. You’ll make such a good mother.”
“Me? A good mother? You can’t be serious.”
“So you are pregnant! Of course you’ll be a good mother. You’ll see. Once you have a baby everything changes. You’ll change.”
“Mom.”
“You won’t even want to chase storms anymore. But wait,” she laughed, steamrolling ahead of herself, “you’re not going to be chasing storms anymore. Oh, Ilara, this is all wonderful news, why didn’t you tell us right away?”
“Because that’s not what she’s here to tell us, is it, Ilara?” Dad said.
“You’re not pregnant?”
“No, definitely not pregnant.”
“Oh that’s too bad.”
Not when you’re about to travel through space to start up a life on a another planet. But Mom already looked disappointed enough, and I was about to do a lot more than not have a baby to disappoint her.
“I don’t want to have a baby, Mom,” I said, but when her eyes grew sad, I hurried to add, “Not now. I don’t want a baby now, that’s all.”
She sighed and took a sip of her tea. Chamomile from the looks of it. Good, Mom would need all the soothing she could get soon.
“Then what’s your news? Oh wait. I know. You’ve met a man.”
“Actually, I have met a man.”
“Oh my goodness! That’s so wonderful! See, Jack, I told you she wasn’t a lesbian, that these things just take time.”
Dad said, “I never suggested she was a lesbian, Marcia, you did.”
“Well, that’s not important, look, she found a man and she’ll get married and have babies and make me a grandmother.” She put her tea down on the coaster in front of her. “That’s it.”
“What’s it?” Dad and I asked.
“I just knew it was going to happen like this. You went without finding the man for you for so long I almost gave up hope.”
“Mom, I’m twenty-six, not seventy-six.”
“But you never liked any boys.”
I liked plenty of them, plenty of times, I just never loved them. But that wasn’t something I’d ever tell my mother.
She said, “You never brought any of them home, and I was already thinking you’d soon bring a girl home to us. And sweetie, I tell you, we were all ready to love your lesbian partner just as much as any man.”
“Mom, I’m not a lesbian.”
“I know, I know, you came here to tell us you’re getting married. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I hesitated for a second, and she was off and running. She clapped her hands and started rummaging through the drawers beneath the coffee table.
“Wait, Mom, what are you doing?”
“I’m looking for my quilting catalog. Jack, have you seen it? The one from last month?”
“No, Marsha, can’t say that I have. It must be there somewhere.”
“Mom,” I said, “why are you looking for a quilting magazine?”
“Because it had the most spectacular quilt for newlyweds. I’m going to make it and give it to you as a wedding present. Wait, you did leave me enough time t
o make you the quilt, didn’t you?”
When I didn’t answer, she said, “Ilara, you better have left me time to make you a wedding quilt.”
“Mom, stop. You have to stop.”
“You didn’t leave me enough time, did you? I knew it. I knew you would do things your way and you wouldn’t leave me enough time. Didn’t I say that, Jack?”
“She sure did, Ilara.” Dad smiled at me, thinking this was just another one of Mom’s things. At least he found them cute. They’d been married forever, and they still flirted with each other. Maybe when I looked back on them, I’d think it cute too.
“Mom, please, stop. Sit down. That’s not exactly what I wanted to tell you.”
She stopped rummaging but didn’t sit. Her eyes lit up. “So you are getting married?”
I sighed. “I don’t know.” I gave up on waiting for her to relax and just sat down myself.
“How can you not know whether you’re getting married?” She sat next to me. “Oh my, did he... step out on you? Is that what this is all about? I see it all the time on the TV. Men just aren’t like they used to be, not good men like your father.”
“He is a good man, Mom, he didn’t step out on me.” Not really. Not when the other woman he loved was one just like me.
“Honey,” Dad said, “just tell us what this is about before your mom drives us both crazy.” But he was smiling. Mom drove him crazy in a good way, no matter how much he rolled his eyes because of her antics.
“Okay. Brace yourselves. I’m just going to lay it all out, all right? And it’s going to sound weird, really weird, but I can explain.”
“You’re worrying me, sweetheart. What is it? Have you been to the doctor? Oh my goodness, you’ve been to the doctor haven’t you? What’s wrong?”
“I accidentally traveled to another planet and met a man I fell in love with while I was there,” I blurted out. I could say so much more, but I waited.
Mom’s mouth hung open and Dad stood up. “I’m going to top off this tea.” By that he meant he was going to fill his cup with whiskey.
“Sweetheart, if you haven’t gone to see the doctor, let me make you an appointment. We need to have you checked out.”